When In Doubt, Remember The 3 F'S:

conductor Dream conductor Grian

I can feel myself getting stronger. Most of these exercises are so easy to do now. I'm so excited to see how the end of the 30 days looks!

Have you started any challenges? How are you doing with them? It's okay if you've missed. Just jump in where you left off or start over!

Today has been weird. I've done alright with eating. Eh.... just kind of in the slumps about my appearance. But when am I not.

O!Ciel when he finally finds the person responsible for the manor fire

Folklore Reactions

going to do this in sections, so this is just tracks 1-5. I still know nothing! (well, and also everything.) But I wanted to capture some of my initial feelings. :) 

the 1: after several listens I understand so much more clearly what this song is doing and it ISN’T deeply sad, like I first thought. there’s a lightness to it. it’s a song about looking back at something nostalgically and being a little apologetic for doing that. “in my defense I have none for never leaving well enough alone/for digging up the grave another time.” she’s shaking her head at herself, acknowledging that she can’t help being this way, being so retrospective. the details are so fun and vivid. sunday matinees, bus stops, rosé flowing, but what i love about it so much is the main hook of the song. “it would’ve been fun, if you would’ve been the 1.” because it doesn’t matter how long it’s been, it doesn’t matter that this song isn’t a deeply personal one for taylor in that it’s not about her (and i don’t think it is, i think it’s a perspective one), taylor will always muse on whether something that didn’t last could have lasted and will always quietly, gently, in a third person way wish that it could have lasted. the ache in her voice when she sings “if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.” this non-breakup song has more pathos in it than most artists’ actual breakup tracks. AND IT’S ALSO A BOP????? I CAN’T. 

cardigan: oh man, i can’t say anything coherent about it yet. this song is so big and so layered. i will say that the way that this, august, and betty have these HUGE intertwining bridges—- is everything to me. the whole heart of the song is about what betty kNEW and the way the bridge is just images stacked on images, moments stacked on moments, all the things she knew. and there really was so so so so much that she kNEW. and that knowledge couldn’t save her from heartbreak. because she wANTED to be someone’s favorite. a lot of knowledge when you’re young isn’t the same thing as wisdom and it can be its own heavy gift because you can’t make all the rest of you grow up to match that knowledge. you’re still just a kid, too. she saw how it would all unfold and fell anyway BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO BE CHOSEN AND LOVED. THIS SONG. 

the last great american dynasty: this was my breakthrough song!!!!! the one on first listen that makes me feel like I can breathe and that I can sort of process. :) I grinned SO WIDE the second I heard her sing “Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train.” It’s perfect, utterly perfect, every word hits a beat and every word tells a story. bitch-pack friends!!!! filled the pool with champagne !!!!! boys and the ballet!!!! the bridge is beyond delightful. THE CHILLS I FELT WHEN SHE SANG “and then it was bought by me.” a song about taylor’s rhode island mansion is not what I expected or thought I wanted but it is exactly what this album and I needed. It’s both a processing song for Taylor personally and the parts of her reputation that her RI mansion helped create but it’s also about STORYTELLING, about making a legend out of the woman who lived there before, sharing her story with the world and tying her past to Rebekah’s and in doing so immortalizing both. i’m obsessed. 

exile: this is a stunning collab, her best yet I think. his voice is deep enough that it holds up next to Taylor’s–which often ends up being more expressive than her duet partners. They feel like true partners as vocalists and storytellers; the story is equally theirs. Love the big sound, love the crosstalk, love the pain amplified in this big, big sound. “holding all this love out here in the hall” >>>>>> KILL ME. this was also a breakthrough song. it’s fairly straightforward but that doesn’t lessen its power.

my tears ricochet: oKAY so the biggest magic about this song !!!! to me!!!! is the fact that the thing that seems to work LEAST, that feels like it might be the weakest link in an otherwise stunning and layered and metaphor-driven song is actually the thing that ties it together!!!!!! and YES. BY THAT I MEAN THE TITLE. !!!!!!! it wasn’t until she sung the titular phrase that it all snapped into place for me. this is a SHARED grief, a shared bitterness, a union even in the separation in the sense that they both are hurting. (anywhere i want just not home//you would still miss me in your bones) the phrase my tears ricochet captures that perfectly, it IS the thesis, because they are not only her tears but they come from her. they strike him and then return again. the way she sings it too. the truth, the almost-acceptance? the ache, the sadness, but mostly the plain, matter-of-fact TRUTH and the lowness, the lowest of lows in terms of her register, that really drives it home. look at how my tears ricochet. what feels like it could be melodrama becomes reality in those three words. it is a perfect track 5. 

shout out to ace and aro kids who are constantly bombarded with the opinion that sex and romantic love are directly connected to living a happy life.

Foodspiration - recipe ♡

Asian inspired zucchini noodles

Ingredients:

1 medium zhuccini (55kcal)

1 carrot (14kcal)

1 cucumber (30kcal)

3 tbsp teriyaki sauce (45kcal)

2 tsp white sesame + 1 tsp black sesame (51kcal)

Spicy paprika powder, salt, pepper, a little bit of very spicy sauce (I used habanero)

= 195kcal!

Preparing:

1. Make noodles from zucchini (just very long shreds using julienne peeler).

2. Grate/shred carrot & cucumber

3. Combine everything in a bowl. Enjoy!

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

So, India is dying.

Look, I know a good number of you are from the US and things aren't amazing there either, but my country is literally on the brink of collapse. So I'd love it if we could talk about that for a minute.

If you can't do anything else, please just read and reblog.

A second COVID wave has taken out the healthcare system. There are no more hospital beds. There's an oxygen shortage. There's a critical vaccine shortage. The Central Government has thrown its hands up and is passing the baton to the State Governments to do what they can.

There are over 16 million covid cases. A record 330,000 new cases reported yesterday - comparable to the US at its peak. 187,000 dead as of today.

There is no plan.

Mass cremations are taking place. The cremation grounds are running day and night and they are short on wood. People are watching their loved ones die while waiting for a hospital bed, and then they're unable to give them the proper burial rights.

Hospitals are overwhelmed. Patients are being confined, two to a bed. They're the lucky ones.

We are on the verge of people dying in the streets.

This is the second-most populous country in the world. The largest democracy. A country that encapsulates over 15,000 years of recorded human history and has endured everything from famine to invasion to colonisation.

We might be at the end. This might be the thing that does us in.

People are dying.

People are dying.

People are dying and there is no plan.

More good news? Variants are popping up. A double mutation strain has shown up. It is resistant to current vaccines. This will not go away. This is the devastation they warned of when the anti-maskers were out protesting the minor inconvenience of covering their face in public.

My country is on the verge of an emergency state. Our government has failed us. This is as dire a situation as it ever could be.

Look. I don't do much with my life. I write fics, some of you have read them and that's pretty much it. I spend my days with my head in the clouds because that's where I like to be.

But two days ago, my grandmother tested positive, had to be taken to hospital and the ambulance caught fire.

She barely made it to the urgent care she needs.

So, here I am, using whatever meager platform I have to cobble this request together. Because I have to do something.

If you can, donate.

Or spread the word.

Help. Please.

your 2nd priority should be bringing joyful and loving energy to those around you. your 1st priority should always be committing to the bit