2-5-1-20-18-9-24

Latest Posts by 2-5-1-20-18-9-24

On the Affini Compact

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says this about the Affini Compact: "Good Luck."

That is not to say that should you cross paths with an affini you're going to die, or be maimed, or have your brain removed only to be placed in another head and shuffled around a planet in and out of other people's heads just to end up in a jar in some random bug's closet. That is the Mi'Go, and they're very sick of all intelligent brain havers assuming they do that to everyone they meet.

Rather, should you cross paths with an affini, your odds of escaping completely unchanged and undomesticated depend entirely on three key factors:

Are you cute?

Are you a present threat to yourself or those around you in any immediate way?

Is the affini single and/or looking?

If the answer to any of the above is a "yes", good luck, because your owner is about to take you home and put a cute little bow on your head. Originating from outside the known galaxy, these plantoid harbingers of head pats and drug fueled cuddles have made quite the name for themselves. They've deposed several independent and very successful planets for the sins of capitalism, and more than a few reputably disreputable hitchhikers have found their way into the loving embrace of an affini and a brand new implant on their spine.

Should you find the affini in your path, be they passing you on the street to your favorite shoe store, waiting outside your home for a wellness check, or be boarding your starship presently as you read this helpful guide, best of luck, try to not give them a reason to domesticate you, and we wish you well in your life devoid of the uniquely perilous joys of hitchhiking.

Good bye and good luck!

When I get to pull a MatPat and give the Pope something as a representative of transfem culture, I'm giving him a copy of Human Domestication Guide.

Both please!!!

Join the cognito hazard

Diary of an Awkward trans-girl : Day 23 —What the hell is HDG?

Dear Diary,

Okay, so I have this ridiculously adorable trans friend— @sapphothecutewitch who is the kind of cute chaos that makes your gay little soul panic just a bit. She’s a total menace in the most affectionate, gremlin-coded way possible. She’s been trying to get me into this fandom called HDG. I still don’t even really know what it is—some kind of anime or visual novel or fever dream of queer feelings and unhinged energy? But every time she brings it up, it’s with that little sparkle in her eye like she knows something I don’t.

She swears I’d love it. Says it’s got “everything a soft little weirdo like you would love.” Which, rude… but also maybe true?

And the worst part is—I trust her taste. That’s the dangerous bit. Like, I know if I let her show me even one character or plotline, it’s over. I’ll spiral. I’ll fall. She’ll smirk. I’ll be in too deep and she’ll get to say “I told you so,” probably while teasing me with a knowing look.

As a trans girl who’s already got a tendency for obsessive little hyperfixations and emotionally intense friendships that maybe toe the line a little (okay, a lot)… this could be my downfall. And honestly? That’s starting to sound kind of appealing.

Maybe I want to be pulled into a new fandom by a girl who giggles a little too hard. Maybe I want to watch her ramble about her favorite characters while I try (and fail) to understand her. Maybe I want something silly and passionate and weird I can chat with to someone like me.

we got another one

Tripped and fell into the HDG fandom. As a trans woman, it might be over for me. I’m stuck between wishing I was an Affini so I could spoil all the people who are basically my florets, and wishing that a big strong plant woman would pump me full of Xenodrugs and just let me walk through life in a drugged-out haze

ⓘ You can Bite your Friends.

Reblog if you genuinely support asexuals

It terrifies me that there’s so much raging passion in the lgbt+ community that insist on marginalizing asexuals and implying that asexuals don’t deserve to have safe spaces. There’s still so much acephobia so I just wanna know which blogs are genuinely supportive and a safe space for asexuals

i love being a girl

Beginning. End. Absolution. Foreshadowing. Who is it.

[1/21 complete]

saying you’re a virgin on the internet is like pspspsps-ing at women who like people younger than them

theoretically

anyway im a virgin

Kermit for pope

I was trying to find out if Kermit was eligible to be pope and I found a blog that says he's the perfect example of a catholic priest

By the way, if you post about being a trans ally, but only ever talk about trans femmes and trans women, we notice. If you never include trans men in your activism, we notice. If you imply trans men don't "need" your help and activism like trans women, we notice. You either care about all trans people, or you don't actually care about trans people.

fumbling every cute tgirl in my dms by being incredibly cute and fuckable but absolutely crippled by social anxiety and never messaging first making her think im not interested

*twirls hair*

if hot gals wants to complement a dysphoric trans gal with a praise kink

My dms r open :3

I have 2 weaknesses

1. Compliments

2. Being called a good girl

Apparently both turn me into a shy little puddle

Rb or dm for me to dump Yuri in your DMs <3

Got some tarot cards and decided to make one of my own.

You laugh at the idea of a cognitohazard until you watch a trans girl discover HDG in real time

Why are evolvers the only sane faction

go on get amped to the hdg girlies

I kinda wish frostpunk had a larger Fandom here because where else can I rant about the starving british people in my computer?

The gay little creature inside me demands that my favorite artists post more of their ocs

The artist inside me grabs a roll of paper towels to beat the gay one to death

reblog to give a lesbian a cup of hot chocolate

Lined up perfectly on my dash

Affini vines are made to restrain dumb little flowers like me

You agree. You reblog.

Just finished reading my first 30k word fic on ao3. I'll never be the same, I was visiting family earlier and they were talking about how their cats didn't need to keep sharpening their claws, because they were

"Domesticated"

It's done for me, I never stood a chance.

I love women!!

I just wished they loved me back </3

I had a dream that was basically Factorio and hdg combined.....im beyond saving

honestly most of the stories I've read were in these posts

(Personal choice for these are either 'Affini domestication guide', 'Dog of war', or 'Abscission')

Another one falls to the hdg cognito hazard

Like seriously I've read 6 different 10k words plus fics in the last week

Affection hits different when you don’t have to ask for it.