House MD Was Crazy For Having Their Mc Be An Autistic Bisexual Depressed Disabled Drug Addict Who Canonically

big fan of the toxic yuri happening in s02e18 house md

that was very attractive of him

Waiting for season 8 be like:

oh god, I'm gonna throw up from tragedy of it all, my heart is about to burst out of my chest, I can't😭

Problem Solved

Summary: Rick comes up with an unlikely(?) solution that settles the decision of choosing Prime or Diane. Rating: T

DISCLAIMER//NOTES: This fic was never meant to published or shared and thus it's in a permanent state of work in progress-- this fic was supposed to be part of Bad Habit, but it never made the cut :') but with the upcoming hype around S7, I wanted to share this for anyone who might be interested in reading my delulu thoughts ><

Dedicated to @cyanichexanthine for encouraging me to share this and supporting this silly fic <3

Blue light washed over pale skin, edges of bone and muscle defined by deep shadows in the artificial light. 

“Take care of him for me…”

A shaky hand stroked down a smooth cheek.

“Be good to him.”

The hum of machinery buzzed lowly in the background as a monitor counted out a steady, stable pulse. 

“Love him better than I ever could.”

----

When Prime woke up the next morning to cold empty sheets, he wasn’t surprised. Disappointed and lonely maybe, but not surprised. Out of habit, his hand came up to rub the scar on his ribs, feeling the tender healed skin and remembering the way Rick had kissed him there the night before. 

There was a strange knot brewing in his chest, gnawing and burrowing at the cage of bones surrounding his heart. Prime was feeling a lot of things as he sat up, but mostly he felt a cold realization that things were truly changing between them. The sex had been bittersweet, tender and heated in the moments that passed far too quickly but it was a mockery of the connection and passion they had shared together in the past. 

He didn’t believe in fate, but whatever it was, he clearly felt the divide in the path that they walked together. Prime felt with absolute certainty that Rick was now walking down a path that did not include him and it brought out a desperation that Prime didn’t even know he was capable of feeling. He had been so certain that Rick would choose him— how could he not? He’d seen their future together. He could feel it in his mind so tangibly that it had become real. All of that was swirling away like bath water into a drain and Prime was left feeling cold and alone. 

Anger swept over his body and he snatched the half pack of cigarettes from the makeshift bedside table, lighting one and smoking it in mutinous silence. This right here was why he never got attached to anything or anyone. He knew he’d fucked up when he found himself starting to rely on Rick. The worst part was that it had felt so easy and natural. They were so in tune with one another that they didn’t even need words. They’d just known what the other needed.  He’d never known what that level of comfort and understanding was like and it was all consuming. Prime had gotten himself hopelessly addicted. He felt safe in the knowledge thinking that Rick had felt the same way. He knew Rick had felt the same way. He saw it in his eyes and felt it in his body. And yet, Rick was the one pulling away so easily for someone who didn’t even inspire him to be the best version of himself and it made Prime burn. It would have been better for the both of them had he left Rick to fuck up his life on his own, but he couldn’t. He saw the same haunted look in Rick’s eyes and to Prime, it was a cry for help. 

As he exhaled a cloud of smoke, Prime found himself wondering and poring over every moment that led to this point. Was there any point in time he could have prevented the rift between them? He thought about the day they’d decided to go to Shoney’s for breakfast. How small and insignificant that choice had seemed at the time. It had been a toss up between Shoney’s and some no name diner on the corner of Main and 3rd. He imagined if Diane hadn’t been on shift that day. Would it have been another waitress that stole Rick’s heart? He should have ripped up that receipt when he had the chance. For not the first or last time, Prime idly considered wiping Diane’s existence off the face of the Earth, wondering if that would make a difference at all. With that thought, he crushed the butt of the cigarette out in a makeshift ashtray and got out of bed. 

After Rick stabilized portal fluid, he hadn’t been back to the lab very often. Long gone were the days they used to spend holed up on this distant moon and the stretch of days enclosed in the ship as they traveled to and from Earth. The absence of the extra body only served to make the modest apartment feel bigger, emptier and quieter. Prime glanced at the small square table where they’d shared countless meals and hours plotting out schemes and problems. Now the table was littered with loose leaf from Prime’s research on time travel and there was virtually nothing to show that his twin had occupied the space at all. 

He glared at the table as if it caused him great offense. He didn’t need Rick. If anything Rick needed him. The lie made him laugh quietly.  He’d existed on his own just fine until he met Rick, now everything seemed determined to remind him of what he longed for the most. Irritation at his human weakness caused a surge of spite to rush through his veins and Prime decided to throw himself into his work. If Rick didn’t want to make a choice, Prime would make that decision for him. 

For one week Prime barely slept as he kept his hands and mind busy with completing the time machine modelled after the portal gun they designed together. He had to keep himself busy otherwise he’d find himself stalking the house at all hours of the day and Rick had expressly banned him from doing that. There was one thought in his mind that he kept coming back to in the late hours of the night as he worked through the final equations, a feverish, desperate thought that maybe he could use the time gun to correct their timeline. 

Even though he had been determined to avoid thinking about Rick, Prime couldn’t help but keep one eye on the portal gun log that sat open in the basement though. Partly because he was curious to know where Rick was traveling to but mostly to keep tabs on his partner. The last entry had coordinates marked for Rick’s home and it hadn’t changed from one week ago. Usually Rick would call or text to let him know if he was planning on coming over, but Prime’s phone remained silent. He refused to call or text Rick first and spite alone drove him to work like a madman. 

In an effort to drown his thoughts and feelings, Prime had started to feel numb. He hadn’t even felt half as satisfied when he’d completed the time gun even though he’d been working on this project for a little over two years. The time gun sat in front of him and Prime could barely even look at it. When Rick had perfected portal travel, they’d gone out and celebrated, partying hard and getting completely sloshed. The elation of success could hardly be contained as they kissed each other on the mouth and cheeks stained with alcohol all night, proud of their accomplishment. It had been a great night. They used the portal gun extensively, traveling to all their favourite planets and a few more new ones. It was thrilling to be able to make trips to places that would have otherwise taken days. They kissed for every successful portal opened and closed. When they got home late the next day, they’d fallen into Prime’s bed and made slow, achingly sweet love until they fell asleep bathed in starlight. 

The loud buzz of his phone vibrating against the worktop jolted him out of his thoughts and he checked the caller ID. As if Rick had sensed his thoughts, the call was coming from Rick’s home phone. Usually, Rick would call him directly from a private number. Something about this call felt strange. 

“Hello?” He answered guardedly. 

There was silence on the other end. 

“… Rick?” A familiar soft voice asked in a strange tone. “Is… is that you? Honey— where are you? Are you okay? Who's… whose number is this? Please come back home. If this is about what happened last week… I’m sorry. I didn’t… I just want you to come home… please.”

Prime’s fingers gripped his phone tightly, trying to make sense of the call. Rick wasn’t at home? His eyes flicked over to the portal log but the coordinates hadn’t been updated. He wanted to feel smug about the fact that there was conflict between Rick and Diane but worry overwhelmed any satisfaction he felt. 

“I’ll… I‘ll be home soon.” Prime said in a strained voice and hung up. It was better to keep the conversation short and sweet. The longer he had to hear her voice, the more nauseated he felt. 

He pushed a shaky hand through his hair and tried to rally the facts in his head. If Diane didn’t even know where Rick was, it must be quite serious. He must’ve been missing for days for her to be this worried. 

Prime grabbed his portal gun sitting on the other side of the workbench and punched in the coordinates to Rick’s last known location. 

When he stepped into the garage, the first thing he noticed was that everything was neat and tidy as if it had been untouched for days. Rick worked like a whirlwind, papers scattered, equipment strewn everywhere in the process of building something. Prime was the same way. The spotless workbench gave Prime a strange sense of anxiety. It wasn’t normal. 

The garage felt warm. Unusually so. Getting on his hands and knees, Prime felt warm concrete under his fingers. His keen eyes picked up a place on the floor where dust had been disturbed. There was a faint outline of a trapdoor, so thin you would have missed it. A laser scanner emerged as Prime approached and as he placed his hand on it, the trapdoor slid open silently revealing metal rungs of a ladder that extended deep underground. 

As Prime made his way down into the darkness, the air became warmer and he could smell the stale smoke of cigarettes and marijuana. The short corridor opened up into a larger room cramped with machinery, cables and tubing feeding into one large glass tube. What available wallspace was completely covered in drafts and papers documenting research and tracking progress. It looked like he wasn’t the only one who’d been busy. His gaze fell on Rick who was bent over, embracing someone whose face he couldn’t see. Angry jealousy surged through his body. He drew his laser pistol.

“What the fuck is this?” 

Rick turned around slowly and Prime saw how exhausted Rick looked. His eyes were rimmed with red and there were deep shadows. They could barely focus as they took him in. Prime’s gaze dropped to the man standing behind Rick and his eyes widened.

“You— you cloned yourself? You… you made a successful clone?” He couldn’t help but add on in slight admiration. Cloning was something they’d always talked about doing together. 

“Yeah.”

“Is this what you’ve been doing for a week? Why didn’t you call me. We could have worked on it together—” 

“You said I couldn’t make a decision so… this is it.” Rick waved tiredly at the clone and sighed. 

Prime stared at the clone who stared back at him unflinchingly, trying to put two and two together. What did making a clone have to do with…

“Tell me that’s for her.” Prime’s eyes cut towards Rick’s accusingly. “You made a clone to take care of your bitch spawn so we can be together, right?”

“...” Rick’s silence said it all.

“Right?” Prime’s voice took on a waver. “Come on, baby. You can’t be serious.”

“Maybe… in an alternate reality if it had just been Diane, maybe the choice wouldn’t have been so difficult. But we have a kid together now. There’s— I can’t let Diane do this by herself. It’s my responsibility too. And… And I want you to be happy too. The clone has—”

Prime took three strides forward, grabbing the clone by the arm and yanking it into a kiss right in front of Rick’s shocked face. It had Rick’s exact likeness and it smelled and tasted just like him too. The Rick clone tried to kiss him back but Prime didn’t even give it a chance before he pushed it away violently. The clone fell back against the desk, throwing out a hand to catch himself. Prime felt nauseous. 

“You know what I think of your clone?” His voice trembled with anger and adrenaline. Without thinking, he aimed his laser pistol at the clone’s head and pulled the trigger. The clone fell to the floor with a heavy crunch, blood seeping out of the head wound. Rick let out a harsh, strangled cry and turned on him.

“Prime! What the fuck? You motherfucker— Do you know how long it took—”

“How could you possibly think I’d be okay with your clone? That’s the biggest insult to everything that we are. You think I’m with you for your body? You think that some clone is going to be able to replace you?”

“The clone has all my memories—” 

“I don’t give a rat's ass if the clone has two dicks. What were you thinking? Were you just going to send the clone in your place one day and think I wouldn’t know the difference? I want you not just some shitty xerox of the person that you are.”

“Then tell me what I should do!” Rick said angrily, hands balled into fists. “I’m trying so hard to come up with a solution that doesn’t fuck up the lives of the two people I love the most in this universe. Nothing I can do will make you or Diane happy. Sure, it’s not fucking ideal but I really thought that—”

“Well you thought fucking wrong.” Prime spat out. “Great idea, but you’re sending the clone to the wrong person. I refuse to spend the rest of my life with a substitute. You need to make a real decision, Rick. Blood will be spilled. There’s no way to avoid that.”

“Well that’s fucking bullshit. There’s an infinite amount of choices— there has to be a solution that will—”

“Let’s just skip to an alternate dimension— one where you never even met Diane or had a kid. It’s literally that simple.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why the fuck not? The answer to all our issues is sitting on the table over there.” Prime gestured to Rick’s portal gun.

“Because… I’m just not that guy who would abandon their family.”

“But you’re okay with being a cheater?”

“... That’s low and you know it.”

“Truth hurts, baby. Doesn’t matter if it’s hard to hear, doesn’t make it any less real.”

“...” Rick looked away, ashamed.

“I’m going to tell her.” Prime said quietly. 

“You— what?” 

“I’m going to tell her— about us.” Prime continued in a stronger voice. “I’m going to tell her about every single time you were getting railed in bed when you were supposed to be at home eating dinner instead.”

“No, you will not.” Rick grabbed his arm. “If you do that, I’ll never be yours.”

Prime laughed and pushed Rick’s arm off.

“Don’t you see? You’re already not mine.”

The words hung heavy between them as they looked at one another with a mirrored expression of resentment and misery. 

Prime turned on his heel and started walking towards the entrance. 

“Stop!” Prime felt Rick grab at his jacket. “Stop it. Don’t take another step or I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” Prime turned to face Rick, a sneer on his lips. “You’ll hurt me? Babe, you’re already hurting me.”

“Just don’t hurt Diane.” Rick muttered. “She doesn’t deserve this.”

“But I do? She gets you but I get a clone?”

“Just— just give me some time to work— to figure something out.” Rick’s grip tightened on his jacket. “Just don’t tell her. Please.”

for real, no wonder bro thought he was hallucinating.

thinking about bard's backstory. imagine you're stranded in a ditch surrounded by your dead comrades and this posh ass pretty boy shows up out of nowhere to flirt with you over tea. insane.

mentally, i'm here

bringing it up bc i can

toxic old man yaoi🤤

crazy how I missed out for so many years not indulging in Tumblr, i love it here

i stayed away bc Tumblr got very bad reputation in well, ealier years...

glad all fandom freaks are still here, tho

young rick sanchez's incorrect quotes

can you watch me while the light leaves my eyes