Dependence Pt. 5 (Roy!Sibling X Roy Family)

Being Connors Favorite Sibling Would Include:

Requested: could I request something with Connor and Roy!sibling? headcanons, a fic, literally anything I'm in love with their relationship and how much they love each other. I think a little sibling that loves Connor the way he deserves would be so good for him - anon

A/N: I love Big Brother Connor!!! He deserves the world 💞 Thank you for requesting my love! Hope you like it!! Feedback is always appreciated!!!! 💜

Connor was ecstatic the day you were born. He thought he was done being a big brother, that his job was kinda done. Ken, Rome, and Shiv were grown up, they didn't think they'd need him anymore. Little did he know that you would be the closest to him out of everyone, that you would need him the most

Being a big brother is his favorite job in the world. He wasn't sure what being loved, really loved, felt like until Kendall was born. From the minute he could crawl, he followed Connor wherever he wanted. So did Roman. And when Shiv was born, he couldn't believe it. He'd always wanted a sister and now he had one. She was absolutely perfect

But you? You were his everything. Neither your mother or your father were all that interested, so the responsibility fell on him, not that he would ever complain. He loved it, even when you spit up on him. The other three were grossed out, hating to change diapers and getting annoyed with your crying, but he was more than happy to calm you down, sit with you, rock you back and forth, etc.

Your first words were his name, too, which almost killed him. Seriously, he still brings it up, he's so proud

He loved watching you grow into a toddler. You were a lot more fun. You could walk and talk and play. You loved when he got on the floor with you and played with you. He even dressed up with you when he wanted to play pretend, though mostly he was too tall for the costumes, so he made do with the hats and accessories instead

"Connor?"

"Yes y/n?"

"Why is the sky blue?"

"That's a good question. . ."

He takes you to preschool every day and tries to be there at pickup as much as he can. He loves to hear about your day, what you learned, who you talked to, what you played with, the snacks you ate, etc. He only gets more interested the older you get, when you learn about the planets and dinosaurs and you read all these interesting books. When school started, he was sad to see you go. You'd been his little buddy and suddenly you were all grown up

Every presentation, award, musical, play, game, show, everything he showed up for, front row with his phone out recording, cheering the loudest

He takes you camping, to the park and the movies, wherever you want to go. He thinks it's good for you to get out of the city

"Why doesn't dad ever come with us?"

"Pops is a very busy man. . ."

Connor is constantly sticking up Logan despite the fact that he's never really shown an ounce of love or attention towards either of you. He wants to protect you from that unloved feeling. He needs to, like he has with your siblings

No matter how small it seemed to you, it meant the world to him. Eventually you stopped inviting your mother and father, going straight to him. He'd tell the president to fuck off if it meant he got to spend a second more with you

He helped you with homework, staying up late at the kitchen table going over the same math problem again and again. He never got mad or frustrated, though. He'd take as long as you needed

You could do no wrong in his eyes. When you fought with Ken, when you argued with Shiv, when you pushed Rome, none of it was your fault. None of them could stand it

When you cried he was the first person you went to. When you got your heart broken for the first time, when you wondered why your parents even had you if they were never around, when you had nightmares as a child and when your worst fears came true, you cried to him

The older you got, the more distance you put between you and him. Kids strayed from their parents once they became teenagers, that's just how it worked. Still, he felt unprepared for the days when you wouldn't need him so much

He taught you how to drive and study with you before your test. You weren't very good, but you had no idea. He was ecstatic when you parallel parked the first time. He made you feel proud, even if at first it felt silly

He was there when you walked across the stage for your diploma for both high school and college, cheering the loudest. He made a rule that you'd call him once a week in college and you never missed it, not even once. You'd tell him about your friends, the parties you went to, to the people you were seeing. He wanted to hear everything

Everything you've accomplished, he couldn't be prouder

You go to his ranch as much as you can, enjoying the distance between you and your father. The older you get, the more you realize how he was never in your life and how much Connor was. It makes you sad, thinking he had to step up, take responsibility for his baby sibling. He is adamant that raising you was a pleasure, the best thing he's ever done

He has pictures of you everywhere. Of the others too, but mostly of you. You can't help but find them embarrassing

"I look like an idiot."

"You were adorable." He looks at them every single day, proud as ever

He visits you in the office, taking you out for lunch when he's in the city. He's the only one who doesn't work for your father, but he likes hearing about it from you. He can't believe how grown up you are, how adult you've suddenly gotten. It seems like just yesterday they brought you home. Now you had meetings and deadlines and your own interns to boss around

"Look at you, all grown up. I can't believe it!"

He's the first person you call when anything happens. When Kendall's gone manic, when Dad hits Rome, when Shiv seems off, when you're getting a promotion, a first date, anything and everything. He's always there to offer advice on how to handle the situation. He's been dealing with them far longer than you have

You show him how to use social media so he can see the pictures you post, not wanting to miss out on anything. There are lots of pictures of you and him together

"Who's that?"

"I'm kinda seeing them."

"That's wonderful! When do I get to meet them?"

Forget your mother and father, it's Connor you're worried about when you're seeing someone. They're never good enough for you. He quizzes them on everything, bordering on an interrogation. In the end, no matter what he thinks of them, he's happy you've found someone that makes you happy

You and him go on double dates with your partner and Willa, who adores you. She lovingly calls you Connors Baby. She's glad someone else loves him like he should be, instead of being used and ignored and neglected like the rest do

You're one of the most well-rounded, healthy, adjusted Roys to come out of the family, or as close as you can get, because of him

He always sits by you at family dinners and vacations, between you and Logan, hoping he can be the target for his anger if need be

When you drink too much he takes care of you, especially at weddings, and always saves a dance for you at the end of the night

"Thank you, Con."

"For what?"

"For everything."

You care very little for your father, but when he dies Connor is right there offering comfort. You were never close to him. You never got the chance to build a relationship with him, no matter how warped, like the others. Connor was your dad, you thought so for the longest time when you were little, your fathers day cards addressed to him instead of Logan. You're sad for your siblings who loved him despite it all

You're the only one to attend Connors wedding, cheering and clapping when they kiss. You wouldn't have missed it for anything

Connor has spent your entire life protecting you and for that, you will always be grateful. It's something you can never repay

Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.

Random Headcanons About Baby Roy:

Warning/s: addiction, addiction mention, drugs, alcohol mention

A/N: I think about Baby Roy all the time, lol. I just love them. I thought some fun headcanons would be nice :) Based on these headcanons and this fic series!

Baby loves screamo. Anything and everything screamo. Also any alternative artist! The more raunchy, the better. Any car or room they're in, they're listening to it or humming it or playing it in their headphones. Everyone's come to expect it and ignore it as best they can. Especially Karl and Frank, they hate it. Gerri just shrugs. it's not hurting you or anyone else, leave it be

It absolutely drives Connor insane, especially when you and Roman gang up on him and recite verses. Roman doesn't love your music, but it's so worth it to watch your other siblings cringe and get all uncomfortable

"That d*ick tastes like yankee candl-" I love Ashnikko lol

"Y/n, please."

"You wanna hear a so-"

"No."

Baby unironically plays Where's My Juul?? by Lil Mariko in front of Connor who has no idea what a juul actually is lol

Baby has a wicked sweet tooth. Kendall's been sneaking them candy since they were little, but it seems like you always have something sweet. A lollipop, gumballs, gummy bears, etc.

"You'll get a cavity."

"This is my one vice, let me be."

Shiv is always holding out her hand for whatever you've got. She doesn't ask, she just expects it. You never mind, it's nice to share with her. Besides, it makes her feel like a little kid, too

Baby loves gory movies. Growing up, when all the kids were together, they'd have movie night. When it was your turn, you always chose the goriest thing you could find. Rome would sit with his hands over his eyes and Connor would hold a pillow, But you, Ken, and Shiv would be totally into it

"Just wait! His head gets ripped off!"

"This can't be appropriate."

Baby is actually very smart. Despite all the partying, their grades were perfect. Logan had no need to worry. Maybe you weren't showing up to class, but you were there for tests and that's all that mattered. You throw your intelligence in your brothers faces

"Can you even spell egotistical?"

You make endless jokes about your sobriety that none of them like except for Roman. The others shoot daggers at you with a look that says "not funny" You think it's funny though, and that's all that matters

"I'll be at the bar, you guys chat. Kidding! I was kidding, jeez."

"Does anyone else need a strong drink right about now?"

"They say the food is like crack, but I know crack and this isn't that."

"I used to take handfuls of pills to this song. Now look at me, I've become a monster."

Connor is horrified. Every time you say anything, he's speechless. Shiv gets very serious and Kendall spirals, but Rome likes it. If you can't joke about it, what good is it?

Baby has lots of tattoos and piercings. It's the only socially acceptable way to self harm that isn't drugs and alcohol. Logan hates them and Connor thinks they're unsightly, but you don't really care. Gerri always wants to see the new ones you got, though she prefers they be covered up in the office

"I like that one, that one's very cute."

"Thanks, Mommy."

She hates when you call her that. For you, your and Gerri's relationship, it's not at all sexual like it is with Roman. She is genuinely your mother figure. She is warm and caring and only wants the best from you. She can always tell when things are getting bad again

"Oh honey, you don't look so good."

"Mommy, I don't feel so good."

She really does love you. Someone has to. She knows your mother and Logan don't. Someone has to be there for you

Both Karl and Frank are afraid of you. Between the music, the addictions, the tattoos, the piercings, everything is intimidating to them. You're not competing like your siblings, that scares them the most. You want nothing to do with the company

"Think they're rabid?"

"Might be."

You love it, the way they always back away when you get too close, like you're demonic or infected

Baby, I think, would write a lot. Not just your feelings, which are so hard to put into words, but good things that happened, reasons to stay sober

You have a notebook or something that they use to write in. You've brought it to every rehab you've ever been to and constantly reread it over and over. No one knows about it, and if they notice, they don't bring it up. It's yours

Reasons To Stay Sober: Connor, Kendall, Shiv, Rome. Connor, Kendall, Shiv, Rome. Connor, Kendall, Shiv, Rome. Connor, Kendall, Shiv. . .

You have a sobriety birthday and every month you bake a cake. It always turns out shitty, lopsided, and burned and runny at the same time, but decorating it makes you feel like a kid again

You're always wearing your siblings clothes. You're always stealing someone's jacket or socks or shirt or sweater. You like it. It makes you feel close to them

They've just come to expect it

"You look better in that shirt than I do, keep it."

"I was going to anyways."

You have those moments of deep regret and embarrassment and self-consciousness that always end up in tears, but your siblings are there to pick up the pieces

Connor especially will just hold you as long as you need and listen to everything you have to get out

You feel so deeply sorry for hurting them and scaring them so much. You just wanted it to stop. You wanted not to he angry anymore

They tell you they understand, but you know they don't. Not really. They can't unless they've felt the way you have

Baby falls asleep on all the siblings. Even Roman will let them get away with it, but no one else. You snuggle into them and have the best sleep of your life

"Quit moving."

"Don't use me as a pillow, then."

You get away with (mostly) everything because you're their baby and they love you so much. They love you so much it's gross

Connor still prides himself on the way he raised you. There were bumps in the road, but you ended up perfect. Absolutely perfect

They all pride themselves on how they raised you. It wasn't always good, they weren't always there, but they're making up for all that now. Logan is gone. Slowly they're breaking the cycle, for you and for them

Things will get better. You've hit rock bottom so many times and always found a way out. This is that. This is your out

They need more esims!

hello!! for the mini fic asks I would like to request D) subtle kindnesses, Roy siblings (any dynamic of your choosing!) <3

Hello! LOOK, this is neither a mini fic, nor probably what you wanted, haha, but I hope you like it regardless. <3

-

“Can I take your bag, sir?”

It takes Connor a minute to place the voice, to find the source among the crowd of staff lurking inside the doorway and briefly, he wonders if he’s come in the servants’ entrance, which - - jeez, wouldn’t that be embarrassing? Worse than the time he used the dessert spoon instead of the soup spoon at the Carnegie Weill Gala, or maybe not, given at least the only witnesses here would be the help, but then he casts his gaze up to the oakwood staircase, the gold-dipped chandelier, the ornately framed portrait of Caroline’s grandfather, and - -

Yeah.

Okay.

Not the servants’ entrance.

He hasn’t spent that much time at this particular house – one of the older Collingwood estates, and well out of London, located low on the rolling Cornish Coast – and honestly, he’d spent his last stay here drunk enough on the wine Caroline’s brother had brought up from Veneto that he’s not sure he remembers much beyond the bathroom anyway.

The thought makes Connor pick his duffel up off the floor, take a breath, inhaling the pungent smell of camphorwood and a log fire, somewhere in a room nearby, and, weirdly enough, the slightly saccharine scent of vanilla. 

“All good, señor, I’m gonna keep this one on me,” Connor says, stepping out of the way as one of the staff scrubbing at the floor inches closer to his shoes. “Trust me, I know how good the little hands in this house are at getting into things they shouldn’t.”

The butler gives him a strained smile at that, and Connor can’t help but laugh, even as two of the maids flutter past, one carrying a fax machine, the other rolls of paper, which feels - - positive? Maybe? He watches them disappear down the passage, chest oddly tight, and clears his throat, glances up, around, at the high arched ceiling, across the staircase, searching for anyone who isn’t getting a paycheck. Finally, he figures he just may as well ask it.

“Uh, is my dad - - ”

“Connor! You’ve made it!”

It’s Caroline’s voice, bright and loud, that bounces around the foyer, and Connor barely gets a glimpse of dark hair and narrow shoulders, a black draped gown like a Dickensian widow’s, before his throat dries and he bows his head like he did as a boy in Caroline’s ever simmering presence. He adjusts his bag strap, huffs a little at himself, reminds himself he’s not fifteen anymore, before forcing himself to look up as Caroline materialises at his side in a puff of tobacco and cinnamon-infused perfume.

She offers her cheek, and without a thought, he leans in to kiss it.

“Long flight, I imagine,” she says. “Do you want a drink?”

Connor blinks in surprise, glancing sideways at the grandfather clock down the hall, barely having struck midday, and says:

“Isn’t it a little early?”

“Surely you’re still on American time,” she grins, waspish, tilting her head as she steps over one of the floor cleaners and starts down the hall, as clear an instruction as any to follow her. “And a good host couldn’t let you drink alone.”

Stay Soft, Get Eaten 5k words. Succession gen fic. Set in 1987.

Send me mini fic prompts

Sunlight / Roman Roy Imagine

Request: I would love to get some sort of a happy ending for Roman!! Maybe post-finale him and his girlfriend/wife/whatever run away from New York and do their own thing?

Oh my gosh love I so agree with you!! Let us give this man a hug and some love pls I beg <3 

Warning: strong language, mentions of smoking, mentions of death, mentions of blood/injuries, Logan Roy being homophobic, sexual innuendo, mentions of childhood abuse!

The vibe I was going for in this is based on ‘Romulus’ by Sufjan Stevens, so I highly recommend listening to it while reading this - it’s one of my all time favourite songs!

(I do not own Succession or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @924inlegend.)

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

Roman Roy couldn’t remember the last time he had actually felt the warmth of light, instead of just observing its strands.

He had spent so much of his life withering obediently within the shadows. So many years curled up tight underneath his bedframe, shaking with fear and snivelling into his kneecaps as the cast shadows of his austere room seemed to creep inch by inch towards his toes; the pressure of bone was so tight against the bridge of his nose that he nearly burst blood from his left nostril. That’s where you would always look first: you would kneel down slowly and lift the edges of his silk sheets, as if you were a curious ornithologists trying their best not to frighten the wild nest of a flight-inclined bird. The first thing he would notice, before he caught side of your hand sliding out to grip him across the floorboards, was how the faint light  seemed to make the fringes of your head glow with strands of silver, like warm moonlight falling through the fresh sprigs of silver maples that brushed across the slats of his windowsill. 

It had made him gasp.

He had spent so long living behind the colossal shadow of his father’s form: curled up, deferential, strangled. It was so stifling there, so dank and claggy that he used to become saturated with the feeling. It used to sink into his clothes, his skin, his muscles, until he was so laden that they began to move of their own accord; after long enough time being asphyxiated, his limbs began to seep life from his father, mimicking his harshness with shoving twitches of his arms, moving his choking jaw with Logan’s fury and repeating his apathy. You would stop their movements by touching his hand where he sat, despondent, at his father’s business dinners. Seeing him look so downtrodden, the familiar hunch of his back becoming more and more prominent as he slouched, you frowned, and he made no reply. He was busy trying not to notice the stern gaze of his father, the red hot fury burning like a demon’s wrath in his eyes, warning him to duck his head and behave. 

To try and cheer him up, you balanced your fork above your mouth in a makeshift moustache, and tried do to your best impression of his father’s new chief financial officer Karl. At fifteen, he still had enough life in him left to let a laugh burst out at that, but he quickly stifled it by shoving the back of his free hand against his mouth. He bit down until he could feel the familiar taste of tangy blood run freely against his wiping tongue, and he felt better. But you, oh you, your infectious laughter rang freely into the warmth of the lavender infused air, and filled an adoring Roman Roy with feeling he never wanted to forget.

The slap he received from his father in the kitchen afterwards was the first time he has lost a tooth, yet he still dared to chime in with your giggles until he was gasping for air. 

Weiterlesen

Connor Roy attending each of his siblings graduation and screaming "THAT'S MY BROTHER/SISTER!" and applauding the loudest. Proud dad photographs after.

Him with the biggest proudest smile with his left arm around their shoulder - Ken with a small smile with his right arm around Connor - Roman looking amused but happy at the same time at Connor - Siobhan leaning her head towards Connor and grinning.

Logan Roy not attending because of "important business"

Yes, this is exactly what it looks like. (there are also a bunch of euro trash songs on there oops) these are just a bunch of songs i think kurt might also like ( ᵕᴗᵕ )✩

My personal fave on there: Fahradsattel (ofc)

Your Best Nightmare

Eddie Munson x Harrington!Reader

Note: harrington!reader, can be biological or adopted, no reference to appearance. Also gender neutral, only characterization is that Steve is a protective older brother

request by @kazeddie85 : Harrington!reader x Eddie? They were dating before they went into the Upside Down and her brother has to force her to leave his body there. For days she’s depressed, won’t eat or go to school, even to graduation. She can’t sleep because of the nightmares of Eddie being ripped apart and hearing his screams. Until one night she sees him in her room. She thinks she’s dreaming but it turns out that it’s real- it’s vampire!Eddie.

wc: 3k

warnings: canon s4 event/character death, grief, depressive symptoms related to grief, nightmares, vampire!eddie

*****

“No! No!” Your shrill voice echoed through the quiet house. “No! Please!” Rapid footsteps thundered down the hallway and stopped abruptly at your doorway.

A darkness weighed heavily over the town of Hawkins, but the darkness in your own life was suffocating. You tossed and turned, sweat seeping through your bedsheets as your sleep-ridden brain conjured the worst of images.

Steve hesitated a moment at the threshold to your room, but soon his feet carried him to your bedside, a heartbreaking routine. He climbed onto your bed and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you to his chest. With the shuffling movement, you awoke and tears stained your cheeks as you hid them in your brother's nightshirt. Your cries were muffled but the shuddering of your body was unmistakable pain.

“Shhh, I’m here.” Steve whispered into the top of your head as he rubbed his hands over your shoulder in soothing circles. Words were futile but it was all he could do. Nothing could take away the pain of the prior few days.

“Y/n, just go!” Dustin shouted to you, piercing the haze of worry set deeply into your face. Ignoring the voice in your head telling you that you shouldn’t leave Dustin behind, you listened to the boy for once and turned tail to run out into the open expanse of the Upside Down in search of your boyfriend.

“Eddie!” You screamed into the void, looking all around you until your eyes settled on the swirling cloud of demobats in the distance. With a gut-wrenching realization, your breathing picked up and you took off in a sprint toward that nightmarish cloud in the distance. “Eddie! Hold on, I’m coming!” You puffed out with difficulty while you ran. But he couldn’t hear you. Through the blurry barrage of tears trickling down your face while you ran, you could just make out Eddie’s form, valiantly slaying the small-but-mighty beasts as they took turns dive-bombing toward him. A pride knocked in your chest at his performance, the brave way he fought despite the stupidity of leaving you behind in his trailer.

But pride was soon replaced with despair when Eddie’s body was yanked to the ground and your breath caught in your throat just as your feet froze and your body halted in shock. Recovering quickly, you continued running, cursing the ground for how far away you still were. With a quick glance behind you, you spotted Dustin limping away from the trailer, following after you slowly. But you kept running.

“Eddie!” Your shouts were growing more frantic with each passing second. As you neared enough for the scene to unfold clearer, you choked back a fresh round of tears. He was struggling. His body writhed on the ground and the black shadowy forms of the bats surrounded him, diving in and out with a rhythmic thrum.

It was when Eddie stopped fighting back that your heart dropped into your stomach and you ran with a renewed desperation to save the man who was so set on saving you.

“Was it the same one again?” Steve asked you once your body relaxed and you sank exhausted into his side. Steve swung his legs up fully onto your bed and you curled into his side, feeling once again like a little kid afraid of the monsters in your closet. But this time the monsters were real.

Nodding your answer to his question, Steve tightened his grip on you. He settled in for the long run, letting his eyes drift shut while you battled to dismiss your terrorizing thoughts in order to get at least a few hours of rest.

The truth was, Steve understood all too well. Your nightmares were relentless and they were like clockwork. But Steve wrestled daily with his own memories of that night, although nothing could compare to the misery he knew you faced. At first, Steve had been resistant to the idea of you dating Eddie Munson, resident freak of Hawkins High. But seeing the way your smile stretched wider than ever before when you were with him, and the way Eddie looked after you like you were his greatest treasure - Steve couldn’t deny that there was something special there, no matter how confused he was by the pairing.

But that made this reality all the more worse. School was now impossible for you, everything reminded you of Eddie. Eddie had escorted you through every hallway to each of your classes, sacrificing his own class time to be with you - something you knew he wasn’t too heartbroken to do. Every sight and every smell would bring back the emptiness in your chest. So you refused to go.

Graduation was nearing and you were barely keeping your head above water. But if Eddie couldn’t graduate, why should you? You’d be lucky to make it through the rest of the year anyway, because even the teachers had to pretend like the whole town wasn’t falling to pieces and the apocalyptic end of the world wasn’t just around the corner.

Steve checked in on you on his breaks from work, but most times you would hide under the covers and let the phone ring with no desire to respond.

And then there were your parents - they were completely unsympathetic to your condition, insisting that a “selfish, murdering psychopath like that Munson boy doesn’t deserve the grieving you are giving him.” They never liked him, or more like they never cared enough to try, and you hadn’t the energy to put up a fight.

It was endless.

You weren’t sure how your body hadn’t shriveled up from all the tears you expended each day. And you simply couldn’t comprehend how life could go on with any semblance of normalcy knowing what had happened in the Upside Down that fateful night.

“No, no no no.” Your head shook back and forth in denial as your eyes swept over the chewed up form of your boyfriend. “Eddie,” it came out more as a whimper, as you knelt beside him, immediately taking his hand into your own and cradling his head in your lap. His eyes fluttered open but his usually bright and piercing brown eyes were now a deep muddy color, like the light was being pulled from him with every passing second.

Your tears began to fall freely and without restraint, dropping down over Eddie’s body, your tears mixing with his blood. And there was so much blood.

“Edds, I’m here.” You choked it out, horrified at the croak of your voice. His gaze met yours and despite the severity of his injuries, he smiled at you.

You could have melted right there, his smile alone sending a wave of welcome warmth over you. But this wasn’t fair. This shouldn’t be happening.

His smile faded when a fresh jolt of pain seized his body, his muddled brain only half processing the state of his body.

When Dustin finally arrived, the weight of the moment intensified, seeing the agony behind the younger boy’s eyes was difficult to bear on top of your own emotions spilling over. You looked at each other with a knowing failure.

Eddie’s body shuddered in your arms and you fought back the urge to scream out into the vast expanse of this nightmarish world.

With nothing around to stop the bleeding or dull the pain, you were helpless. As you watched the life drain from his eyes, his dying words to you and Dustin would be tattooed in your mind for the rest of your life, you were sure. You begged for the fates to bring him back to you. What had you done to deserve this?

After what felt like an eternity, you heard shouts in the distance. You knew that voice. And it was panicked.

Steve, Robin, and Nancy crested the horizon and ran in your direction. At the same time, you felt the ground beneath you rumble and the sky erupted in fluorescent lightning. Dustin looked up at them as they neared, but you kept your eyes glued to the still and cold face of Eddie beneath you, afraid he would disappear if you looked away. You ignored your racing heartbeat responding to whatever was happening to the very ground on which you sat.

Once the others had approached close enough to know it was too late for their friend, Robin and Nancy dropped down behind Dustin and offered what little comfort they could. Steve, however, was at your side in an instant and he would never forget the racking sobs shaking your body as he held you and wished he could make it all go away.

But there was no time to waste. With your head curled up under Steve’s chin, he whispered to you frantically. “Y/n, I’m so sorry. But we have to go. We have to get out of here.”

You were awash with every possible emotion all at once. You shook your head fervently. No, you couldn’t leave.

“Yes, we have to go, come on.” Steve moved to stand and he tried to pull you up with him. But you threw your body back down over Eddie’s in a last ditch effort to remain behind, despite knowing that Steve would never allow you to stay here when you could already feel the world crumbling around you.

Steve’s hands gripped your shoulders and pulled you away, but you didn’t go easily. “No, I won’t leave him!” You fought against his hold but you were no match for Steve as a bone-deep fatigue sank in over the overwhelming heartache. “I can’t- I won’t- Steve please.” You begged through your tears.

Another rumble sounded and all heads turned toward the sound. Not a hundred yards away, the ground was opening up and an eerie red glow emanated from within.

Nancy pulled Dustin to his feet and yelled over the din of destruction, “Steve, we need to leave NOW!” She was already pulling Robin and Dustin behind her, heading toward the Munson trailer to return to Hawkins before the Upside Down imploded on itself.

Steve hauled you along behind him, refusing to let you have your way and remain behind with Eddie. “Eddie!” You cried out repeatedly, an unwavering flow of tears barreling across your cheeks.

“We have to leave him, Y/n. I’m sorry, there’s just no time.” Steve tried to remain calm and gentle but he was worried they had already wasted too much time. “We can come back for him later.” He knew this was a lie, there was no coming back here, not after all of this.

And so Steve dragged your emotionally drained body away from Eddie’s. It was the hardest thing you’d ever had to do, leaving Eddie behind in the place that had quite literally destroyed everything you loved. And the image of his body laying alone in that horrid place would haunt you for days to come.

It had been two months since that night that scarred your heart and mind irreparably. Two months of crying into your pillow and trying desperately to mend the broken pieces of your life. Two months of tossing and turning to the tune of nightmarish images of Eddie and the bats and the sorry state they left him in. Two months of Steve and the others fretting over you and your inability to move on, yet understanding the difficulty of it all.

Tonight, the routine would start all over again. You knew exactly what would happen. You would lay in bed, pushing away the images that would plague your waking mind, trying in vain to forget everything long enough to fall asleep. But then the sleep demons would slink through your thoughts and memories and pull the images back, bringing those memories to life and forcing you to relive those horrific moments. The final moments of Eddie’s life.

So you laid yourself down, forced away those painful thoughts and after a fit of discomfort, you finally drifted to sleep.

Your dream tonight was different, however. In your dream, you imagined leaving Eddie’s body behind and the toll if had on you as Steve dragged your body away, kicking and screaming. But this time, you awoke from the nightmare much faster than usual. Because as soon as the image of Eddie’s lone body solidified and your dream self stood over his prone form, he opened his eyes and his red irises stared back at you. This image jolted you awake. You sat up abruptly in bed, panting heavily from the confusion and the barrage of feelings threatening to explode from within yourself.

Your eyes searched the darkness around you, ensuring that you were still in your bed at home, where you had been just a few hours ago.

But what your eyes found was even more alarming than you could have expected. Standing just a few feet from the foot of your bed was a tall, lean figure with a head of curly, shoulder-length hair. The familiarity struck you to the core.

Your breathing picked up more, matching the escalated beating of your heart. You could have sworn you had woken up from your dream, but blinking away the image before you was proven impossible. This was real.

“Eddie?” You whispered into the darkness, your voice quiet and hesitant.

He took a step toward you and you pulled the blankets tighter around you. This couldn’t be real, right?

The figure raised his hands in a defensive stance, and he stepped into the dim light of the moon cast through your open window - that window had remained closed for the past two months, a reminder of all the times your Eddie had snuck in after hours.

But when the figure was illuminated in that faint moonlight, your breath hitched. The chestnut-colored eyes you adored so much were staring back at you, but the blood-red irises were startlingly new. It was Eddie. And yet it wasn’t.

“Eddie, is- is that you?”

Hope sparked, but you refused to hold too tight for fear of utter disappointment.

In the blink of an eye, he was at your bedside, knelt beside you. His unmistakably gentle gaze was trained on you and you alone. His hand was cold as his fingers laced in yours, you could feel the heat from your own hands transfer to him.

It was as if time stood still in that moment. It was him. It was your Eddie. And yet he was different.

“I thought you were dead. You- your body was- you stopped breathing.” You tried to reason it out. Your hand untangled from his and you let your fingers dance over his shoulders, his cheeks, feeling flesh and only barely allowing yourself to hold onto the crumb of joy at believing this was really him.

Your hands cupped his cheeks and you knew without a doubt. Eddie closed his eyes at your touch, a pained expression of lost time swept over him.

Into the silence broken only by the slight sniffles brought on by the tears you hadn’t realized were falling, Eddie spoke to you, hearing his voice for the first time in two months. “It’s me, but I’m- I’m not the same. I've… changed. I’m different.”

You laughed at his choice of words. “You’ve always been different. That’s why I’ve always loved you so much.” You pressed your forehead against his, relishing in the closeness you had missed with your whole heart.

Eddie pulled his head back and took your hands in his, lowering them into your lap. He was serious, more serious than you had ever seen him before. “It’s much more than that now. I can’t- you just have to trust me for right now. But I needed you to know that I’m here, and I’m- not exactly alive but I’m here. And this will all be over soon.” He looked around and paused, listening into the silence at the muted squeaks of the floorboards in the hall. “I have to go. I have to get back before-“ he stopped himself. Then continued. “I love you and I’ll be back. Just trust me.” Before you could protest, Eddie moved and within the blur of a fraction of a second, he was at the window, hands braced against the frame. He hesitated, waiting.

Then you heard it. Footsteps padding down the hall, just outside your room. The door swung open slowly and Steve stood stock still, his eyes sweeping the room, first finding you sitting up in bed, then following your gaze toward the window, he spotted Eddie. A sight he thought he would never see again. How many times had Steve caught Eddie in this exact position, poised for escape through your second floor window.

While Steve remained frozen in place, processing the scene before him, Eddie nodded his head toward his friend before jumping from the windowsill toward the ground below.

Alarmed by the sudden movement, Steve ran toward the window, looking down toward the ground below, but seeing no sign of the Munson boy who had been there not two seconds before.

He turned toward you for answers. And what he saw almost melted him right then and there. It was subtle, but for the first time in two months, you were smiling. You had a dreamy look of slight disbelief, but then again, what you had just witnessed was something out of your dreams.

When you met Steve’s questioning gaze, you told him the most beautiful truth. “He’s back. I don’t know how and I don’t care. But he’s back. Eddie’s back.”

*****

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