Realized Something Recently. I Don’t Have To Shame And Blame Myself For My Reactions To Trauma / Trauma

realized something recently. I don’t have to shame and blame myself for my reactions to trauma / trauma responses. These are things I really don’t have much control over. I also don’t need to shame and blame others for provoking or triggering these responses / reactions to trauma that they don’t really understand. Honestly, the long and short of it is that trauma is SUPER confusing, and if I don’t understand my own issues the likelihood that someone else understands them is super low. While it’s not anybody’s FAULT that these reactions and responses exist and are getting triggered, it is MY RESPONSIBILITY to learn how to heal, both for myself and the people around me, so that we ALL experience less distress stemming from this trauma that we ultimately can’t really control.

To rephrase, like, when I start having a trauma response, how I behave is my responsibility, but how I’m thinking and how I’m feeling internally starts to become more and more out of control of “adult me.” It starts to be handled by “traumatized child me.” This situation is not my fault, nor is it the fault of the person who triggered the response. However, it poses difficulties for both of us, and it’s my responsibility to try to heal and allow adult me to stay in control and handle things, in order to lessen the difficulties for everyone.

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From Wikipedia: In the foreground, a man stands upon a rocky precipice with his back to the viewer. He is wrapped in a dark green overcoat, and grips a walking stick in his right hand. His hair caught in a wind, the wanderer gazes out on a landscape covered in a thick sea of fog. In the middle ground, several other ridges, perhaps not unlike the ones the wanderer himself stands upon, jut out from the mass. Through the wreaths of fog, forests of trees can be perceived atop these escarpments. In the far distance, faded mountains rise in the left, gently leveling off into lowland plains in the right. Beyond here, the pervading fog stretches out indefinitely, eventually commingling with the horizon and becoming indistinguishable from the cloud-filled sky.

The painting is composed of various elements from the Elbe Sandstone Mountains in Saxony and Bohemia, sketched in the field but in accordance with his usual practice, rearranged by Friedrich himself in the studio for the painting. In the background to the right is the Zirkelstein. The mountain in the background to the left could be either the Rosenberg or the Kaltenberg. The group of rocks in front of it represent the Gamrig near Rathen. The rocks on which the traveler stands are a group on the Kaiserkrone.

Wanderer above the Sea of Fog, Caspar David Friedrich, 1818

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885572

1 year ago

i love you autistics that are picky eaters. i love you autistics that dont eat vegetables. i love you autistics that dont eat foods because of the color or texture. i love you autistics who have to take vitamins because their safe/same foods dont provide enough nutrients. i love you autistics who have to look at the menu ahead of time before they go somewhere to make sure there is safe/same foods.

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md collection

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HALT! Do you have sensory issues? Overwhelmed by sound in a messy environment? Desperately wanting to write that essay/fanfiction but your ADHD is getting on the way? In need of atmospheric sound for your tabletop game??

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Missing the sound of a lively coffee shop during the pandemic? They have that. That specific, calming noise of a public park in a peaceful afternoon? they have that. Rain sounds? City sounds? Want to fuck around and listen to some uninterrupted Gregorian chants? They have that also!

According to the website:

"myNoise generators cover the whole audible frequency range, from 20Hz to 20kHz, over 10 color-coded sliders. Through a simple but accurate calibration process, all myNoise generators can be shaped to your personal hearing thresholds and compensate for your audio equipment and listening environment deficiencies, including the presence and nature of background noise. Calibration is unique to this website, and makes calibrated noise machines stand out from regular white noise machines. During the calibration process, we are able to measure your personal hearing levels, and adapt our noises accordingly. If you are suffering from age-related hearing, you'll be surprised to hear frequencies you thought were lost."

And that's not all. When I say 'incredible' I really mean it; I've found myself using the website on multiple occasions, for work, creative and stress-related issues, and the variety of machines provided cannot be overstated. You've got animal noises, nature soundscapes, street sounds, meditation aids, melody-based lullabies, magical soundscapes, medieval ambiance, situation specific sounds, white noise generators-- and a lot more!!! They even have noise to block out IRL sounds you don't want to hear.

Just take a brief look at what the index page provides:

There's something for EVERYONE. And it's all for free! It's been for free for years, and it is the creator's wish that it remains accessible to everyone who might need this kind of aid in life. I am using it to write this post right now. Though if you read some of the above index, you may have noticed that the support for the website has been very low lately.

Which brings me to the reason I'm making this post. Mynoise is curated and maintained by a single person: