It’s For My Little Brothers

It’s For My Little Brothers

Characters: Winchester brothers x older sister reader. John mentioned.

Words: 1800

You have a little tradition of going to the nearest supermarket to buy some snacks to your brothers and you, just to see the smile on their faces. 

[Angst, fluff, character death]

A/N: I packed this one full of gifs, couldn’t resist :)

You wandered, a little cautiously, through the aisle of the small store, looking for the pie. It was an early fall morning and you had left your little brothers, 7 and 3, at the motel. At only 10 years old, it was debatable if you should be out alone at such an odd hour, but you were independent and also with the information you had, you knew there were far worse things to be scared of.

You found the pie for Dean, and hurried to the checkout where you paid for it along with the candy you had gotten yourself and your other brother Sam.

10 minutes later you put the key in the keyhole and unlocked the front door of your room. Instantly, both of their heads perked up from the two beds, Dean’s dark blonde and Sam’s curly, slightly darker one. To see their faces light up was the reason for your occasional expedition, that along with the fact that you wanted to have something to do.

You held up the plastic bag with a grin, so that they could see what you had gotten.

“Yes!” Dean exclaimed, eyes round with excitement.

Sam giggled with his hazel orbs twinkling, as he followed his big brother towards his big sister. As you put the things on the table, Dean sat down by it. You pulled out a chair for Sammy, and helped him up. You soon sat down too, and then you enjoyed the sweets together with them.

It was a nice, simple moment, just how you liked it. Although, you had already been introduced to a much darker worldview by your father, and nothing would be the same. As you looked at your innocent brothers, you hoped they wouldn’t have to know. But you knew that your dad even now thought about letting Dean in on the secret, which you didn’t know what to do about. You wanted to talk to him, but he also intimidated you.

Hopefully Sam would at least live in innocence a while longer.

You strode through the aisle searching through the shelves for the apple pie, 14 and more comfortable to be on your own. However, you wanted to make it quick, not for your own sake, but for what could happen when you were away. You had seen enough evil to worry like that. Once you found it, you grabbed a packet of pie and walked towards the checkout. For yourself and Sam you had gotten some cake.

Soon you were walking back towards the motel, absentmindedly flinging the plastic bag back and forth with each step. The air was crisp, and there was close to no one outside. You enjoyed the walk, it was the only time you got to be alone. Not that you didn’t like being with your brothers, but it was nice to just be on your own. As you were away, you liked to pretend as if you were no one special, you were just an ordinary kid, nothing different with your life.

But you were needed in your family, you were the protector. Well, your dad were the one who physically killed the threats, at least mostly. But you were the one who looked out for everybody, you were there if anyone wanted to talk and if anyone had gotten hurt. You always wore your head high, your little brothers behind you.

You checked twice before crossing the street, with the motel in sight. Soon you would be back inside with your dear brothers. You honestly didn’t mind being the protector, the one with responsibility. Because they were your world. You wished you could protect them from everything, sometimes even your father and his ideas. Dean had found out though, 4 years ago, when he was 7. Now, he had been training quite a few times, joining Dad and you. He was already a good shot.

Sam didn’t know yet though. And that was something you and Dean agreed on, to put it off as long as possible. The longer he could be just a kid, the better.

At 19, you winced as you pulled the seemingly heavy door open. You hardly noticed the bell ringing as you made your way into the store, slightly limping. Last night’s hunt got you bad, you had ended up with a deep cut in your thigh. Even though you had cleaned and stitched it up, it still hurt like a bitch. Dean had offered to join you, but you told him that you wanted to be alone, you wanted to clear your thoughts. And even though you appreciated him asking, you told him off. Always trying to not showing any weaknesses was a bad habit for you, but maybe that just came with you always having to look out for everybody else; you had to be strong. Some of the pressure came from your dad, but much was self inflicted. But, now wasn’t the time to do a phycological evaluation of yourself, you had other things to do.

You found the pie, still buying it for Dean, because you were nice like that. In your hands you already had some snacks for you and Sammy.

As it turned out, Dean was big on responsibility too. He just seemed to take it on, even if it wasn’t needed. You already had it covered. However, you let him worry about Sammy and the rest of you, even though you still kept the role as the one who really looked out for you siblings.

He was almost taller than you now. You had always been standing tall, and it felt weird. Though, Sam was still a little squirt so that made you feel better. He was 12 now, and already a hero. Your dad, you and Dean mostly put him on research, but when he came along he really was great. Both of your brothers were heroes, and you were proud.

You had graduated school, which led to that the dynamics of the family changed slightly. Earlier, it had been you, Dean and Sam, and then your father who was out hunting. But now you got to go along on the hunts all the time, while your little brothers still had school. It wasn’t something you had thought of before leaving school, but it had happened, and now you had adjusted. Soon, you would leave for another hunt with John, but you had been determined to go on another shopping trip before then. It had turned out to be a silly tradition for you, but you needed some constancy in your life.

You paid for the things and limped back to the motel.

Dean walked down the aisle to look for the pie. It was tradition, ever since he was little he had always gotten apple pie. However, it had always been someone else who had gotten it for him.

Besides of himself, an old lady and the cashier, the small store was empty. And it reminded him of you. Well, a lot of things did, and this was one of them. Every time he was in one, he always seemed to see you. Not in reality of course, but often he had to look twice, sometimes when it was a young woman who shared similarities with you, and sometimes it didn’t even have to be someone there. As he spotted the pies in the other end of the shelves, he could almost see you standing there, with your silky hair, familiar frame and clothes. You noticed him and smiled, that characteristic little smirk of yours.

Until he blinked twice, and you were gone, as always. And as every other time, his heart ached for you.

You were 21 years old when it happened, only in the beginning of your life. Dean was 18 and Sam was 14. A demon had shot you, and you had died. Just like that. He had been there, your blood had stained his hands, and his tears had fallen into your hair.

Sammy was at the motel, Dean was thankful for that and he knew you were too. Both of you didn’t want him to see the horrible scene, and he knew how you hated them seeing your weak moments.

Dean would always remember your pain, the tears in your eyes. How you had panted for air, the blood that pumped out of you. His father’s tears, never had he seen his father cry like that, not since Mom.

How they had to carry your cold, lifeless body out of there.

You last smile; you last words.

I love you. Tell Sammy I love him too.

Then the corners of your lips had pulled upwards, right before your eyes rolled back. Dean had closed them.

He was now older than you were, than you would ever be. He never thought that day would come, he never thought he would survive you, at least not so early. It had been 5 years already, he was 23 now. One year ago Sam had left for college, which left Dean alone for the most part, as he and John didn’t hunt together anymore.

What happened changed them all, for example, Dean had gone to a very dark place. He almost didn’t make it out. After some time Sam had gotten deep into the thought of leaving the hunting life behind, for something more safe; just like he wanted the remaining parts of his family to do the same.

Dean wasn’t ready however, to give up hunting that is. It was who he was, it was his life. More importantly, it had been your life.

Dean paid for the one single piece of apple pie, and left the angsty store behind. He jumped into the Impala, his home, and drove for a few minutes till he reached the mountains just outside the small town. There, he parked the car and sat himself on the hood, with his apple pie of course. The sun was shining, the air was fresh. It was quiet except for some birds chirping in the distance. The view was amazing, snow coated mountains, and dark green pine trees.

He enjoyed his apple pie in his loneliness, and thought of better times.

He remembered you, how strong you were. He still thought so, even when he got older and started seeing how broken you were inside through your eyes. How much crap you had seen, what the pressure on you shoulders had done to you. They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, after all.

How he wished he had told you how much he looked up to you, but he was pretty sure you had already known.

You were a light, you shone brightly and burned out fast. And he would always, always, remember you.