I've always wondered why i experienced internalised homophobia as a lesbian but not any other identity i identified with, and i realised that other peoples perception of me is entirely different.
i was out with friends the other day and i happened to hold the door open for two girls and smile at them as they walked past, and in my head i was just doing it to be polite but my friends assumed that i was only doing it because of some possible attraction i had to them.
i don't have any other lesbian friends so i cant assume it was just because i am gnc or if it was just because im a lesbian but i realised that everything i do is seen as some extension of my sexuality.
after i realised i was a lesbian i avoided mentioning it or being direct about it because i didn't want it to define me or for other people to be aware of it as if i had something to be ashamed of, but the only reason i felt ashamed is because people only refer to my identity in a negative or mocking context. i noticed that non lesbians hypersexualise me more than they would for a bisexual.
almost every interaction i have with women is seen as motivated by my attraction, as if thats the way i think. it makes me think that non lesbians view my attraction as some kind of perversion and honestly its kind of humiliating.
Reblogging so I can come back to this
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lesbian visibility week and no butches are in my dms, what kind of world do we live in ????
ME
clueless nerdy butch who’s kind of a himbo #needthat
sometimes i’m so hard on myself but then i remember i’m a human being and i can hold myself accountable while also recognizing that i’m still growing and learning new things everyday :)
Me when I feel insecure and uncool but then i realise someone out there recognises that im serving butch loser realnes
god gives his most specific, hard to explain genders to his strongest dykes
"Lwk wish Cannibalism was legal so I could eat her (out)"
- shauna Shipman probably
Need me an 'acts of service' butch who'll order for me at restaurants when I'm too anxious to do it myself
i love my mutuals because we never talk but we still… like… follow each other……….. and i admire that we stick together even tho there is no communication in the slightest………u kno what i mean… hello…