very nervous to put this here but i present. a bsd animation meme I am working on
idk if it's been explored yet how fyodor's ability opens up insane fyolai dynamics like i'm pretty sure fyolai shippers gotta be ready to have prime quality angst content for breakfast lunch and dinner but now you get a full on five star seven course meal 24/7, 365, made of bernadette animatics and tears of blood
like what do you MEAN his ability is to take over the person who finally kills him, stripping them of their will and freedom in the most visceral way possible, until they become his everything? what do you mean that knowingly killing him now would be, perhaps, the ultimate act of going against human instinct to so thoroughly give yourself and everything you are up to this person who can now use you in such a complete sense of the word?
shut UP and don't talk to me about the possibility of nikolai finding out or knowing about his ability and still wanting to bury a dagger into fyodor's heart - except maybe not, because he remembers the burst of the helicopter and tower, he remembers the still-warm limp hand clutched in his own, he wonders if that agony was humanity, there goes the one person, the one person-
and fyodor, would he hesitate at all? what's one more person after all these years of living on stolen time? or would he bleed at nikolai's hand and wonder even for a second if maybe it's time to let it all end, that his suit and hat and cards wouldn't suit fyodor anyway, that maybe those mismatched eyes might not be a sacrifice he's willing to pay
imagine the sheer devotion it would take to look him in the eye and kill him, killing yourself, the ultimate lovers' suicide really, dazai should be jealous, because here is a bond that can rival the stars, like a single free dove reviving a demon from the pits of hell, carrying him on white wings, because he is the only person who ever understood
imagine fyodor opening his eyes in that offered body and looking at his own hands and knowing they will never be clasped so happily again, no one to look at him without fear, no one bold or deranged or maybe just lovely enough to offer him a friendship bracelet with one hand and stab him with another
do you think nikolai would kill him, die for him, die with him, free himself from the world by becoming a vessel for a hell he loved. do you think fyodor would even care.
I love how in anime everyone always treats the sound of a helicopter like it's a soft background noise while in reality that scene would look like this:
Dazai: But you see… You can't kill m-- Fyodor: What? Dazai: I said, you can't kill… Fyodor: What?? Dazai: YOU-- Fyodor: WHAT
after i posted caps regarding ann’s feelings towards her costume, an anon asked if i had any interest in redesigning it, so here’s my attempt! i also threw together a kinda messy AOA card with it as well. [ process gif here ]
many of the notes above cover my thought process, but under the cut i get a little more into detail on a few specific references i took inspiration from!
note: if you’re gonna get mad that i covered up your 16 year old waifu’s chest, please do us both a favor and block me instead of writing a comment i’m definitely not going to read.
继续阅读
nikolai redraw cause bones skipped this panel, kind of.
非常好分析使我的眼睛流泪
crying because "a shallow bond" is exactly what caused fyodor's own downfall.
his lack of trust in nikolai, shown by not just taking the antidote right then and there. shown by being cold towards his friend and simply getting in the helicopter with no further words. the fact that, if he had stayed outside with nikolai or even beckoned him in the copter, he'd probably still be alive.
fyodor called dazai & chuuya's bond shallow but never faced the fact that his bonds are shallow as well.
dostoevsky's downfall begins with his sentence, "are you unfit to utilize a gravity manipulator?" with this sentence about chuuya, fyodor sums up his relationships with everyone who cares about him most. he sees them as tools to be used, not people he can rely on.
with ivan, who would literally give his life for him, fyodor brings him into battle once and casts him aside (which, by the way, stupid move fedya. ivan could've saved his ass too!)
with karma, who was nothing more than a boost for fyodor to get back on his feet.
with nikolai, who saw something in fyodor nobody else did, a friend. who tried to form a connection, to see beyond the "demon" in dostoy. who got cast aside anyways because fyodor doesn't see the value in other people's love.
fyodor's lack of trust makes his bonds shallow, which in turn makes him "need" to manipulate others so that he still gets his way. it's a vicious cycle for him, with the path of "trust" and "faith" in anyone else being too long and winding for his ambitious heart. once again, the path straight forward has nothing at the end.