ohmigods! That last snippet! Am dead from cuteness! I mean the in universe implications are kinda terrible for those not in the know, but still. Cute af. May I ask for more brotherly interactions? Only if you're up to sharing your thoughts of course :D I am LOVING everything about this.
Sure! Lemme see what I can jot down real quick.
-Nox acts … a bit odd around Noctis for at LEAST several months (and will occasionally revert to that oddness even years later). Stiff when touched, stammering when talking, sometimes unable to look his little brother in face for all it’s clear to anyone with eyes that he LOVES Noctis to no end. Regis thinks its a side-effect of his upbringing (he already suspects that Nox is touch starved, but add to that a cheerful little half-sibling who likes to spontaneously touch Nox and wrap his magic around Nox in greeting-affection-attention? Regis mourns even as he goes about trying to help acclimate his son to positive touch from people other than Ardyn).
-Noctis is the initiator of contact for the longest time. Hugs, conversation, casual hand grabs, you name it, he’s probably done it to Nox and then patiently chatted his way through Nox’s instinctive freeze. Because Nox always snaps out of it and interacts eventually, and at this point Noctis A D O R E S Nox okay? He has a big brother who is totally EPIC and COOL and isn’t always too busy for him like his dad and is totally fine with playing Kings Knight instead of doing homework, and has all sorts of cool hunting stories and-
-There is some serious hero worship going on at first okay? And Nox CANNOT figure out how to deal with being looked up to by his YOUNGER SELF. It’s honestly hilarious and sad at the same time, and Ardyn alternates between instigating more contact between them and rescuing his nephew from death by confusion via being the Cool Uncle.
-Eventually though, as Nox begins to relax around his little brother counterpart and hang out more easily … Noctis beings to notice that something is … not wrong exactly, but … off about Nox. That it isn’t normal for Nox to always walk around with his armiger just beneath his skin, ready to draw a weapon at a moment’s notice, that the Quiet Days Nox and Ardyn have aren’t quiet so much as Painful, because Noctis is even more magic sensitive than Regis and he can feel the thick grief-love-mourning-exhaustion that clings to Nox’s bones on those days. The way Nox (and Ardyn too) feel like today is a day to lie down and just- never get up. Nothing Noctis does can break Nox or Ardyn out of their Quiet Day, even though they never raise a hand against him even in their worst moments, so eventually Noctis learns to come find them and curl up against one or the other’s side, radiating at much love and good thoughts through his magic as he can so that they know they aren’t alone.
-Nox and Ardyn appreciate the gesture more than Noctis will ever know.
-But it isn’t always angst and caution. Noctis is not like Nox, he’s brighter and happier and so earnest that it’s infectious. Noctis essentially has Nox wrapped around his little finger, and when Noctis isn’t busy with the tutors Ignis won’t let him escape from, he can usually be found trailing after Nox like a puppy, asking questions and begging to join in whatever Nox is doing (if Nox uses this as a chance to train Noctis in magic and fighting, then nobody comments. If those practice sessions usually end in Nox tickling Noctis into submission while the latter squeals with laughter and joy, Ardyn is the only one who dares interrupt, and Regis has about half a dozen pictures framed on his study desk).
-These two grow up to be super tactile with each other. Nox because he’s touch-starved and Noctis because he figures out that Nox needs touch and they both enjoy mingling their magic together (Cor comments once that their magic is so in sync and similar they might as well have been twins born seven years apart, Ardyn laughs himself sick for reasons no one dares ask about). Tackle hugs, arms over shoulders, smooshing into the Smallest Space Possible on the couch when watching movies because Noctis likes using Nox as a pillow are all very common (not during game though, because Nox is a cheater who isn’t afraid to use tickling as a weapon).
-Only time Noctis is ever really trying to get AWAY from Nox is during training once Noctis is a teen and his training starts getting Serious. Because Cor’s favorite tactic is to yeet the Chocobros into an obstacle course or arena with Nox as their sole opponent and tell Nox to “Go wild”. Nox has way too much fun doing just that (channeling his Uncle’s trolling tendencies to a scary degree in the process) and the Chocobros inevitably end up wheezing helplessly on the floor to a man, each aching in places they know intimately know they have from prior reenactments of this very same event. Noctis never, ever wants to go up against Nox for real, especially since his madman of an older sibling is always FINE at the end of the spars. Barely breathless and still so full of magic he can casually spam healing spells to get them back on their feet.
-Noctis went though a jealousy phase when he was 14-15, because Nox was so much BETTER at stuff than him either in combat or talking nobles in circles. It lasted approximately until the first time Noctis actually tried to do the Brat Teenager Thing and said something INCREDIBLY spiteful only for Nox to go very, very Quiet and just- leave. For two weeks. Wasn’t even in the Citadel. Ardyn actually got angry at Noctis for that and told Noctis that he had no idea what Nox had been through to get as good as he was. Noctis told his uncle to prove it, Ardyn left and came back twenty minutes later with Nox’s Citadel medical file. It had info on all his checkups and doctors notes since first coming to the city. Pictures of his scars, how underweight he was, his suspected trauma issues and what probably caused them.
-When Nox finally slunk back to the Citadel, magic curled in and subdued like a flinching dog, the first thing Noctis did was run to his brother and hug him tight, crying/apologizing the entire time. Noctis never told Nox that he’d seen Nox’s file and Nox was too glad that the jealousy phase was over to question it.
-Nox once borrowed (kidnapped) Noctis when his little brother was eighteen to go on a brother-bonding road trip around the country to show his sibling how to survive in the proper wilds and what the kingdom of Lucis was really like. He genuinely forgot to tell Regis or anyone else about this, so by the time Axis and the Chocobros track him down (with Ardyn’s bemused help) the Citadel had gone beyond Meltdown and straight into Murderland. Nox wasn’t sorry, and Noctis was having the time of his life as long as he wasn’t being chased by cactaur while Nox sat on a high ledge and laughed at him (Nox is at this point perhaps a little TOO big of a believer in learning on the job).
when you finish a fic that was everything you could of hoped for and you click on their user to see that they’ve written dozens of fics for that pairing
nikolai redraw cause bones skipped this panel, kind of.
Sumi showtime except its akechi
Both the real life Osamu Dazai and Fyodor Dostoevsky drew.
Fyodor Dostoevsky was known to sketch in his manuscripts. Osamu Dazai painted with oils and was very interested in fine arts. Fun fact the main character in No Longer Human also wanted to go to art school and become an artist. There's actually a lot of mention of yozo liking making art in no longer human.
So of course i had to draw their twink versions painting together. <3
非常好分析使我的眼睛流泪
crying because "a shallow bond" is exactly what caused fyodor's own downfall.
his lack of trust in nikolai, shown by not just taking the antidote right then and there. shown by being cold towards his friend and simply getting in the helicopter with no further words. the fact that, if he had stayed outside with nikolai or even beckoned him in the copter, he'd probably still be alive.
fyodor called dazai & chuuya's bond shallow but never faced the fact that his bonds are shallow as well.
dostoevsky's downfall begins with his sentence, "are you unfit to utilize a gravity manipulator?" with this sentence about chuuya, fyodor sums up his relationships with everyone who cares about him most. he sees them as tools to be used, not people he can rely on.
with ivan, who would literally give his life for him, fyodor brings him into battle once and casts him aside (which, by the way, stupid move fedya. ivan could've saved his ass too!)
with karma, who was nothing more than a boost for fyodor to get back on his feet.
with nikolai, who saw something in fyodor nobody else did, a friend. who tried to form a connection, to see beyond the "demon" in dostoy. who got cast aside anyways because fyodor doesn't see the value in other people's love.
fyodor's lack of trust makes his bonds shallow, which in turn makes him "need" to manipulate others so that he still gets his way. it's a vicious cycle for him, with the path of "trust" and "faith" in anyone else being too long and winding for his ambitious heart. once again, the path straight forward has nothing at the end.
I hope Fyodor is in Nikolai's body now and that he's forced to experience Nikolai's love for him in such a way that he can't escape because he's joined them irrevocably. I hope it does something deranged to his psyche to parasitically gorge himself on someone who had, with utter, grief-stricken sincerity, mourned him.
I hope Fyodor drowns in the horrifying waves of intimacy as he subsumes the only person who didn't need a lobotomy to adore him.
what if fyodor somehow managed to transmit like a million totally and wildly fabricated memories to sigma just to throw him and the ada off and he was actually born in 1990 with normal parents who did normal things who raised him normally and he’s just like that for the bit