G-d, I Hate How Thr Anime Change People Perceptive That Ymir's Letter To Historia Was Short. It Wasn't

Okay so my earlier stated thoughts on Hudson and him absolutely hating MKUltra, but still following orders because ya know he has to at the end of the day, were confirmed at least to me. I'm replaying it on Realism and I just processed a quote.

"Once President Reagan greenlit Adler's Operations- he fell in line like a good little American Patriot" - Park (talking about Hudson)

If that doesn't tell us that Hudson tried to fight MKUltra, I don't know what would. Like c'mon. Its like very subtly referencing that because come on all the other missions and shit, Hudson would not have fought. He would've just gone with it, but MKUltra he definitely would've had problems with because what he saw Mason go through.

I will defend Hudson to my grave fr fr. Like I used to hate him but I found out about his family and found out what happened in bo1 and bo2 (I haven't played them but I have a pretty good understanding of them) and I'm a Hudson defender now. Also I call him Mr. Worldwide cause he looks like a white Pitbull.

Edit: So this quote is actually in reference to comingling with other agencies, but there could be reason to believe that he knew before hand and didn't want to comingle with MI6 for this mission because of MKUltra. Like he would have to know beforehand. Also he doesn't seem like the type to cause any resistance that could lead to hindrances to the mission itself. He's very professional and doesn't seem like the type to complain about other agencies. He might not like it, but I don't think he'd be the type to make it widely known. Like obviously his close friends would know but not people for said other agencies. It could be a bit of both, but he definitely knew what bringing in Park meant in regards to this specific mission.

Am I the only one who thinks about how impersonal Bell’s death was?

Like, from their perspective, the man who’d been their best friend for decades, fought alongside them, betrayed them. Even if they had some time to process it between the interrogation and Solovetsky, it had to have hurt.

Especially because he didn’t even give them the decency of an intimate death. That was phrased weird but let me cook.

It was just a bullet wound. He didn’t even give them an emotionally charged death. Not even point-blank. Adler was standing few feet away from him. I feel like they would’ve been more content if they’d been, say, stabbed or strangled. Because at least then they’d know Adler felt something towards them. But Adler didn’t do that. He downed them like he would’ve any other target. Quick. Disinterested.

Even after giving up everything, he still took more. He put them down, just like what he thought they were. A dog.

I'm having so many brainworms right now so i'm forcing y'all to listen teehee

anyway, headcanon that Bell had the most gorgeous big brown eyes.

It was the first thing anyone ever noticed about them. Brown eyes are the most common color, but Bell wore them like they were a sacred gem. Deep, haunted, and achingly soulful. In the sterile glow of a safehouse in Berlin, the fluorescent lights bled across their eyes like distant dying stars, flickering in the hollow space of their gaze. Their eyes could be called fawn-like, or maybe a lamb. You’d never guess that they belonged to someone so horrifically scarred by the ugliness of the world.

How ironic that also like a lamb, tethered by a leash they couldn’t see, they trailed along so willingly to their slaughter--by the one man they trusted more than their own mind, no less. A beautifully blind devotion, don't you think? Right up to the barrel of the gun.

Is it too weird that I've been thinking about something similar? 😞

The dichotomy between tenderness and torture Bell would've received during the MK-ULTRA process is something that is very special to me. Tenderness in the wound care they would have needed to receive in order to keep them from dying from the bullet wound they got on the Trabzon Airfield and Torture from all the physical and mental pain that was inflicted on them with the express goal of grinding their entire being to a stub in order to be rebuilt in Adler's image.

BELL + ADLER

these violent delights - micah nemerever / franz kafka’s letters to milena jesenska / frida kahlo / all i need - radiohead / the mark of athena - rick riordan / the lover as a cult - olivia gatwood

Somehow I imagine what if Felix experienced the state violence as he have done to countless people, just as a punishment, however, I don't think this won't be a proper punishment for him.

Because it is just a cycle of state violence, not breaking it.

I think it'd be proper to him to be stoned by people who were victims, or just a randos passing by. He should be punished by people and democracy, not the state violence nor it's absurdity.

"The people" should punish him.

furthermore, the worst punishment he've got is the sin itself.

Even though he ran away from it, even though he regret it, the fact that he committed state violence won't change forever. It polluted his soul, and let his heart bleed forever

hesh: he was my brother.

We know from Sims that everyone in the safehouse gets their paychecks through Adler. But does this include Bell? After all, Bell isn't really a team member, he just thinks he is. Was Bell collecting a real paycheck or were Park and Adler paying him in Monopoly money?

Did Park and Adler go up to their supervisors and be like "Yeah we need a bunch of money so we can pay a fake wage to our brainwashed Soviet operative so he doesn't suspect anything wrong" and the CIA just had to accept this? In the CIA's archives somewhere is there a budget allocation for the cost of paying Bell a pretend Salary? Did they collect all the money back after killing Bell?

If they gave Bell real money how freely was Bell able to spend it or did Adler say something like "I'm going to hold your paycheck for you Bell" and Bell just had to accept it because Adler is his friend and his boss and would never do him wrong? Was Bell paid the same amount as everyone else or was he given a pittance? Did Bell ever suspect anything was off? There are so many questions left unanswered here

Alex Mason in Cuba (Call of Duty: Cold War 2020)