Headcanon That Shen Yuan Was Hotter Than Shen Qingqiu, Actually.

HOW UA SHOULD HAVE ENDED

Hard cut to Klaus talking to the girl on the bicycle

Klaus: “Did we save the world or screw it up again?”

Bicycle God: “You were never the problem”

She holds up an action figure of Reginald and crushes it in her bare hands. Marigold lights emerge from it. Golden light envelops everything

Hard cut to Klaus waking up in bed. He is wearing pajamas covered in marigolds.Street noise can be heard from outside.

(From offscreen) “You okay, Hon?”

Klaus looks over and Dave is cooking breakfast in their flat

Klaus: “Yeah, just had a weird dream.”

Looks out the window and sees an empty lot where the Hargreeves mansion should be.

Klaus: “Wasn’t there a building there?”

(Naïve Melody by the Talking Heads begins to play over a montage)

Diego and Lila Are wrangling their kids into the camper van. One of the kids gives Lila a picture of her family in a field of bunch of orange flowers (marigolds)

Luther is stripping and the obsessed lady in the crowd is Sloan. He has a marigold in his mouth. He takes it out and gives it to her.

Viktor is playing the violin with Harlon. Sissy is setting the table. She sets a bouquet of marigold into a center vase.

Allison is gardening while Clare and Ray play in the yard. She is planting Marigolds.

Five is teaching at some university. An older woman comes in. “Dolores” he says as she kisses him.

Jennifer serves Ben at the dinner. Closeup on her pouring coffee. He has a Durango flower tattoo that says “Jennifer” and she had a marigold tattoo that says “Ben”

Cut back to Klaus staring out the Window

Dave: No, been an empty lot as long as I can remember

Klaus, smiles: Yeah, I don’t know why I thought that

Camera Zooms out from the window as music continues

Reginald, voiceover: And that is how our unlikely heroes manage to create one timeline where everything was fine.

BTS footage plays with the final credits 

1 0. Y E A R S. I N. T H E. J O I N T. M A D E. Y O U. A. F U C K I N G. P U S S Y !

It has been years and Kiryu still hasn't recovered... He can still hear him...

To understand how everyone feels about shen yuan you have to think of him as a beloved neighbourhood cat. Everyone loves him. If you can get him to sit next to you for a few minutes, you have the right to tell everyone around while they glare at you in jealousy. If he scratches someone, everyone will agree they must have done something wrong to deserve that, because our cat is so sweet and lovely. If you say you don't like him, everyone hates you because what sick fuck doesn't like cute cats?

So you can imagine when someone (binghe) takes the cat that should belong to everyone and decides its going to be HIS own now. The entire neighbourhood would be up in arms. Shen Yuan is EVERYONES cat and they demand he's let back out so they can occasionally get ten seconds to pet it.

But then something terrible happens: the cat decides it likes binghe and wants to stay inside his house. Even when everyone holds the door wide open and tries to lure him out with treats, he ignores it and jumps onto binghes lap. Everyone is devastated. Their cat CHOSE to be with the guy who stole him away from them.

There's nothing they can do other than randomly barge into the cats new home every now and then, pathetically hoping for a bit of his attention while annoying the cats new owner.

That's shen yuan.

he won

bonus:

FOUND family??? you think i just found them like this??? babes this is FORGED family. Me & the bros were scrap metal in a junkyard (very valuable, very sharp, very dangerous, uncared for) and we GOT IN THE FUCKING FIRE TOGETHER. WE did this. we said I AM NOT LEAVING YOU and melted into each other for better or for worse (it’s for better) and we are A FUNCTIONAL UNIT now. DO NOT SEPARATE. BATTERIES FUCKING INCLUDED. FOUND family my ass, we built this non-nuclear family unit from the ground up, don’t devalue this!!! it was is and will be a labour of love!!!

Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.

Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.

I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.

All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!

Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.

Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?

Shen Yuan: what do you mean?

Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?

Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*

Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...

Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?

Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???

Shen Yuan: don't make it weird

Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???

Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating

Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--

Shen Yuan: hey

Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--

Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!

Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--

Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking

Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!

Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--

Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince

Shen Yuan: *mumbling*

Shang Qinghua: what was that?

Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...

Shang Qinghua: oh my god

Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!

Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*

I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before but it randomly pops into my head from time to time. lol at Eggsy going through multiple near-death experiences and not breaking, risking getting HIT BY A TRAIN and sticking with Kingsman, but then they risked his dog’s life and he was OUT.

Shen Yuan is two things:

1) chronically ill

2) rich rich

He couldn’t count on both hands the number of health scares he’s had, but he fought years to move out of his parents house and live independently!

…. Until he was found half dead by his sister and nearly died in the hospital. No one even knew until she showed up.

The smart thing- the thing his parents want- would be to sell his apartment and move back in so his family can watch him. But frankly, Shen Yuan was reaching the end of his 20s. He didn’t want to be 30 in his parents home being scolded for buying yet another anime figurine and fussed over all hours of the day by nannies.

So, like the adults they were, they compromised. Shen Yuan could live independently IF he put together a complete staff of live in specialists to help him. He had a few months to do so, and all had to be thoroughly background checked.

Which is how he ended up with an old estate filled with specialists who all bore striking resemblances to the cast of Proud Immortal Demon Way.

(SY endears himself over the course of months to the entire modern cast of svsss and collects them to live with him and be generously financially supported. Additionally he finally tracks down the hack author of PIDW and keeps him as well, taking away the financial strain so PIDW can achieve its true potential as art.)

He’s an asshole but he’s MY asshole Masterlist

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Part 4 Friends in High Places | Umbrella!Ben Hargreeves x Reader

Last part of Friends in High Places! Find all chapters here.

I had so much fun writing this! Keep in mind that Klaus had already developed his powers to make ghosts appear before people. Also, I was listening to snow jam - Rin音 while writing this so feel free to listen to it as well since this definitely did set the mood for the last few paragraphs - think of this as the song for the end credits because ahhhh <3

“Hey Y/N,” Klaus whispered as one of the staff walked by eyeing both of you. “Meet me at the entrance of the Activities Room at 2:00 a.m.” He said to you as he waved the hand with Hello tattooed on it to the staff who passed by while giving him a not-so convincing smile. The staff still eyeing both of you.

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