"Dick Was A Terror Of A Child" "Dick Was Bruce's Least Favorite Child To Raise" My Love There Are Much

An attempt to salvage S4, for your delectation. S4E1

Okay, I think I'm ready. This is so long that I'll have to post it episode by episode. [FYI this isn't written Fic or script style so much as a play-by-play]

This is I'm sure an imperfect fix but I do think this would have been better especially if used as a base to work on - if anyone does want to, please feel free!

Rules I gave myself: Keep the 6 episode formula. The characters have to start Ep 1 in the same state (jobs, accommodation etc) they do in the show. Use as much as is salvageable from S4 to make the base of this cake.

I will say that I think one easy fix the show should have done was to keep the long-running theme of using flashbacks at the beginning of each ep to flesh out the story; so I've done that off the bat. Every character has a beginning flashback, but they all include Ben or Jennifer to a degree (because this is his season) and Diego and Lila have to share because there isn't enough room soz y'all.

EPISODE 1:

Starts with Viktor's Flashback: Over a series of 2 years him having a terrible time at family reunions where Diego and Lila are squabbling, Luther is being harrangued. He's working as a bar tender and they keep showing up at his bar; Klaus gets carted off by them to rehab there for being stoned, he has to kick Five out for being too drunk and disorderly. Viktor starts looking for a bar elsewhere, sees the one in Canada and moves there. Shows him chatting up the ladies, being unable to connect to them on a deeper level. In the background of all these scenes we see the Rise and Fall of Ben on the bar's TV. - he's an up and comer, he's in the big leagues! He's one of the wealthiest people in the world! He's committed tax fraud and being taken to jail!

Viktor in present time is being asked about going to Gracie's B day party, and torn about it, by Luther.

Luther is at his work.

Diego is lazily delivering packages, one of them with a symbol of an inside out umbrella on it, he is seen to pocket.

Lila is stressing over the kids party bits and another parent mentions seeing her at book club tonight.

Ben is getting out of prison, he's told by the guards that no one's due to come for him despite him arguing that someone should be, and that his parole officer demands someone be responsible for him. Ben is shown resigned picking up the phone.

Allison's work is running over and she has to call Klaus

Klaus takes Claire to her destination very cautiously

Five is at his work in CIA, staring at blueprints of the country, bitching to his boss about not being given access to blow through a wall to look at the hidden network of stations he's uncovered. Bitches to his assistant about how a few years ago this wouldn't have been an issue - assistant refers to the fact that a few years ago he was lucky to have been given this opportunity before he nearly drank himself out of his doctorate.

Luther comes to pick Ben up, he's pleased. Ben is pissed and seems edgy. They discuss in the car how Luther wasn't Ben's first choice, Luther asks who that would be, Klaus? Ben angry and claims that no, he has a girlfriend, she should have been there,  doesn't know where she is. Luther sympathises, saying he's been there, he'll help Ben look surely it was just a misunderstanding. Ben asks in a slightly scathing, though less than normal way, whether he's still looking for Sloane. Luther wishes he could hope still that she's out there, but it's fainter by the day. Ben and he share a small moment, that it's nice he's not the only one who remembers his family.

Gracie's party, much is the same

Viktor turns up late, is confronted by a blonde woman (Abigail) Abigail gives him the box of cross-timeline paraphernalia plus marigold jar. Says they're needed to save both his brother Ben and Jennifer, that they need to save the world. Leaves while Viktor is asking who Jennifer is.

Viktor goes into the party (it's wrapping up) shows the marigolds and they set up a meeting for later (the kids are still there)- there is frustration about commitments getting in the way and mixed excitement and dread.

They go separate ways, Lila is shown going to her 'book club' meeting where they talk about the Cleanse and the umbrella effect, it's Abigail, though Lila doesn't know who she is.

Diego after waving Lila off is seen pulling out the package he'd pocketed with the umbrella on it in his study full of papers and files, he goes to open it, tries to do a trick with a letter opener and it falls from his fingers, frustratedly he tosses the package as his in laws call for him to come help with something.

Five has gone down into the subway, he's staring at the wall, clenches his fists.

Allison, Klaus and Claire go home. It's quiet between Klaus and Allison. They have a stilted conversation about how they clearly don't want to have their powers back, and Allison asks for help prepping for the audition, Klaus jokes that at least acing those would have been easier with powers, she jokes back that with their powers she wouldn't have need to feel guilty killing his immortal ass for being a jerk.

Ben is with Viktor and Luther at Luther's place demanding what the woman said to Viktor who says he'd rather wait for the others but then admits about saving Jennifer and him, Luther asks who Jennifer is and guesses his 'prison girlfriend'. Viktor is a bit suspicious.

The others turn up, they go through the box properly.

Five and Lila notice items of interest in the box - subway map, umbrella inside out printed on things, items from other timelines, and both notice that Diego has much less subtly shown recognition and pocketed an umbrella item too. The two share a glance but both shrug as neither knows what's going on. Klaus finds and takes the dog tags.

Ben is on edge and demanding they get out and find Jennifer, that they take the marigolds, the others all agree they don't want their powers, though a few of them give some assurances to help Ben find Jennifer.

Ben pockets the marigolds and spikes everyone when they do a toast to another odd thing happening around their family before they all leave. (Viktor stays the night begrudgingly with Ben and Luther.)

Judy I. Lin, Song of the Six Realms/Agustina Bazterrica, Tender is the Flesh/Yah Yah Schofield, How to Make a Vase/Jeff VanderMeer, Annihilation/Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment/ Derek Walcott, Sea Canes/Clay McLeod, Whisper Down the Lane/ Kentaro Miura, Berzerk/ Mike Mignola, Hellboy

happiness in dps (sobbing profusely)

im being so serious when i ask this, but, how has dick's characterization become so opposing to his actual character? like how in the world did this pervasive and frankly invasive depiction of him become so popular? where in the world did people get these scraps of personality that they've frankensteined together to create this fucking weirdo that shakes his ass for criminals and is the biggest attention seeker? for decades we have had pretty consistent source material that continually establishes that dick is quite serious and a leader, and also someone that cares deeply for people and has the skill set and willpower to do literally anything for them. how has this fanon characterization that's quickly becoming canon happen to him?

"I kept quiet so I could keep you" newt I know that's you

The Bank Robbery (Sparrow Edition)

A quartet of people, two guys, and two gals, walk down a sidewalk towards a bank. One of the guys holds open the door for his friends as they all enter--

--and the lead guy promptly gets his nose bashed in by the butt of a shotgun!

The girls scream as several armed bank robbers grab them and pull them inside.

"Get on the goddamn ground!" one of the robbers yells.

〃く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡₊ ˚ ⊹〃く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡₊ ˚ ⊹

The bank is under siege. Various bank employees and customers are huddled on the floor of the bank as armed men walk around, patrolling the floor with AK-47s in hand. One particular robber is in the process of losing his shit as he talks with a hostage negotiator on the phone.

"I don't give a shit! You are out of time! I told you what would happen didn't I? Didn't I tell you?"

He gestures angrily and another robber approaches, pulling a frightened bank teller with him.

"Get him over here. C'mere." he grabs hold of the bank teller and holds him close, turning back to the phone. "I want you to listen real careful." He then holds out the phone to the bank teller, "Tell them your name."

"Craig, Craig Davis."

Taking back the phone, the robber continues.

"You go home tonight, your wife, she asks "how was work", and you tell her, Oh, not bad, got a guy named Craig Davis killed."

Protests sound from the phone,

"No, we're done talking now you're gonna listen."

The bank teller trembles in fear as the robber drops the phone and pulls out his pistol--

"Excuse me, sir?"

All three men turn to find a young girl in a school uniform standing there.

"The hell-"

The lead robber starts before suddenly, the girl raises both her hands, and he and the other robber are raised in the air, dropping their guns in surprise.

That's when all hell breaks loose. One robber finds himself jerked off his feet by a young boy in a similar uniform as the girl and thrown straight up, ricocheting off the ceiling.

A horrible scream rings out as the hostages whip their heads around to see a different robber being dragged head-first into a room by a pair of monstrous green tentacles.

One robber slowly walks backward as his eyes flicker around the room, scared out of his mind he hears a noise from behind him and whips around to see a boy and a girl sitting on the counter. In a panic he raises his gun and shoots at the boy, only to scream out as he feels a piercing pain in his own chest before falling to the floor. From her spot next to the boy, the girl seems to spot another robber trying to run off, opening her mouth she shoots a stream of venom towards him landing on his face and causing the man to go stock still.

In the vault, a group of men run around screaming as they are chased and pecked at by crows. A girl stands at the entrance of the vault next to a floating cube chuckling at the chaos.

The entire room seems to have erupted into chaos in only a few seconds but in the corner, squashed into a group of hostages, there sits a small girl watching the scene not in fear, but in fascination.

Just ahead of her stands one of the last robbers, he looks around frantically trying to find a way out of the bank without being killed by the freaky kids in uniforms. Just a second later he turns around and starts to look at the hostages, trying to find one that may give him at least a chance of getting out of the bank alive. The girl knows she's in trouble the moment the man's panic-stricken eyes lock with hers. At 4'11", she knows she's smaller than the average thirteen-year-old. Her nickname from her dad is Minnie because he says she's as quiet as a mouse and small like one too.

Frantically, the man pushes away the other hostages, reaching out and grabbing her arm tightly before pulling her towards him. She goes easily despite her attempts at protest, and soon enough she is standing near the doors with an arm over her neck, a gun pressed to her head, and the kids in uniforms standing around the two of them, ready to pounce at any moment.

A strange sort of calm washes over her at that moment and she closes her eyes breathing in and out steadying her racing heart as she continues to be dragged backward towards the door. Slowly, out of nowhere, the feeling of the man's arms around her disappears and gasps are heard both from behind her and in front of her.

When the girl opens her eyes again, all she can see is the surprised faces of the other children. Confused, she turns around to look at the robber who seems just as surprised if not even more panicked than before. Raising his gun he aims at her and before anyone can move, he pulls the trigger.

It almost seems like slow motion, the movement of the bullet as it speeds toward her, but what's even weirder is the fact that even though she sees the bullet go straight through her heart, she's still standing here just fine.

Falling onto her knees in relief, she stares at the spot where the bullet went through her, her mind running wild trying to figure out why she isn't dead.

Seeming to break out of his reverie, the tallest boy walks up to the cowering man and picks him up without breaking a sweat, the boy then throws him across the room, screams breaking out throughout the bank once again as the man's body ricochets off the wall.

Staring down at her chest with wide eyes, the girl almost doesn't realize when a pair of sneakers appear in her line of sight. Looking up at the person, she recognizes him as the one who summoned tentacles out of his stomach, she looks at him blankly when he extends a hand out towards her.

"You okay?" he asks, his voice not seeming very concerned at all, honestly he seemed kind of excited.

Breathing in, she slowly brings her hand up, letting out a breath of relief as she registers the feeling of his hand under hers. Grabbing onto his hand and letting him pull her up, she looks at him with a shaky smile, "I think so." Smiling back at her he lightly squeezes her hand in his.

"I'm Ben, Ben Hargreeves."

"Y/N L/N, nice to meet you."

The other Sparrows, after letting the hostages go, approach the two and introduce themselves to the new girl. Unbeknownst to everyone there the girl would become much more important to them than they could ever imagine.

In the future Y/N L/N is the Sparrow's closest friend, and their one and only future sister-in-law. For now, though, the children are just excited with the knowledge that they are making a new friend.

No hate to cql or anything but every time I read a fic that has Lan Wangji be the Chief Cultivator I die inside. Because like. NO. That’s a TERRIBLE IDEA for everyone involved. First of all, Lan Zhan cannot communicate properly enough to be a politician, and his main priority is his husband. He is not suited for that role. Second of all, the novels’ implication that the next Chief Cultivator (if there even is one) would be Nie Huaisang is actually very important for Wei Wuxian’s character development?? Like, Wei Wuxian knows that Nie Huaisang is a lil conniving bitch who painstakingly arranged for the downfall of the most powerful man in the cultivation world, manipulating multiple people to their deaths (or at least emotional ruins) all for his own revenge. He knows that Nie Huaisang is capable of as much damage as Jin Guangyao, and that he’s poised to take over his seat of power. Wei Wuxian knows all of that and, very deliberately, decides not to give a fuck.

Wei Wuxian, who spent his entire life picking up the messes of other people, destroying himself in the process, only to have those same people spit in his face and make him a pariah, sees this potential Problem for the cultivation world and goes, “You know what? That’s none of my business.” and runs off to elope with his boyfriend. Like, Nie Huaisang probably won’t be as bad as Jin Guangyao. He’s been shown to have more human decency, at the very least. But he also spent the entire series expertly lying to everyone, so much so that we really don’t know what he plans to do now that he’s gotten his revenge. And you know what? That’s fine. He can fuck over all the four great sects if he’d like, because the cultivation world’s politics have been a corrupt shitshow for decades, and it’s their job to sort that shit out. It’s certainly not Wei Wuxian’s job. He’s done enough, and he deserves this one moment of selfishness. He deserves to get his own happy ending and settle down with the family he’s always wanted and not have to worry about saving all those ungrateful assholes. Wei Wuxian is at least on good terms with Nie Huaisang (it was awfully convenient that his old friend’s revenge scheme coincidentally involved resurrecting him and setting him up with his crush) and he trusts that he won’t fuck with him or his family.

And that’s good enough for him! Lan Wangji is similarly happy to spend the rest of his life with Wei Wuxian, and after 13 years of mourning he’s sure as fuck not gonna ruin his second chance to go play politics with the most obnoxious people in the world. The ideal ending for both of them is a happy marriage that mainly involves doing their own thing, night hunting together, fucking every day, and teaching the kids. Their calling, where other people are concerned, is absolutely as teachers, and nothing more.

do yall ever think about how during the punishment protocol, sqq’s terrified thought toward lbg wasn’t just ‘don’t do this,’ but ‘not with that face’

1 0. Y E A R S. I N. T H E. J O I N T. M A D E. Y O U. A. F U C K I N G. P U S S Y !

It has been years and Kiryu still hasn't recovered... He can still hear him...

The full comic is finally over!!! Thank you for following it ~