Imagine A SVSSS X S-Classes That I Raised Au!!!

thinking about that one trope where the hero is dying and reveals their secret identity at the last moment so they can die known and as the true person they were, not the hero name they designed. how, if dick were out as nightwing and were to be somehow in a life or death situation he literally could not see a way out of, and he was with a civilian who was comforting him in his final moments, he literally would have to die as nightwing and not dick grayson or else risk exposing the rest of his family. even if the civilian swore up and down and made a blood oath to never speak a word of this, dick would be unable to bring himself to allow himself the mercy of dying as dick grayson or hearing the name his parent's gave to him one final time

The Amnesiac Ghost King Shen Yuan who wakes up in his territory surrounded by bestiaries, shadow demons loyal to him, animal skins, with a fateful feeling of loss and... he has a wife? He knows he has a wife! Well, a man-wife? Just by looking at a couple of his maids he is convinced that his wife cannot be a woman.

He have to find his wife! Husband. Spouse? In fact, he has forgotten almost everything except his own name and the fact that he is dead and is a ghost king, so with the covert help of his servants, he manages to leave and sets out on a quest. He has to find his beloved!!

... It's difficult when he doesn't even know what he's really looking for. He is a little disappointed, but suddenly, he hears disturbances in a forest. There is a fight between a beautiful man and a wild beast. Oh! He sees him, he recognizes him! His wife!!

He claps his hands in the air, stopping the beast's attack; the beast quickly scurries away, afraid that it has disrespected Shen Yuan. The man dressed in noble elegance and a zuiyin on his forehead looks at him, annoyed, but Shen Yuan doesn't even notice him as she hugs him.

"Oh, wife!" Shen Yuan says. He feels him for wounds. He is strong, he knows it! But still, he's irrationally worried. Just because he was strong didn't mean he couldn't be hurt, and that would be horrible!! "It's been a while. This husband of yours asks for forgiveness. Some creature ate his memories, but I have found you. This husband of yours would recognize his wife anywhere, no matter how many memories they take from me. Is my wife safe?"

Shen Yuan misses the chaotic array of emotions on Luo Binghe’s face. Confusion turns to doubt, doubt to shock.

"Husband" he says, the voice a little strangled, and Shen Yuan only squeezes him tighter in his arms.

"There, there," he consoles, dragging Luo Binghe's head down, towards his neck, to hug him and brush his hair there. What a lovely wife of his, letting himself be pampered so well. "Everything will be okay, you've been a good boy in my absence, I can guess that. How would you be anything else? So beautiful. So strong."

Shen Yuan keeps showering his wife with pampering, sweet words. He feels that he must say all that! It is necessary! It is necessary for his wife to know!!

His wife - Luo Binghe, provides his mind, and Shen Yuan is pleased to remember that as well - lets himself be hugged and adored. Shen Yuan hugs him and takes care of him until he feels he can detach himself a little to cover his face with tender and sweet kisses. So adorable!

Finally, when the reunion leaves them calmer, Shen Yuan is satisfied to go eat somewhere and then begin the hunt for the monster that ate his memories. He is definitely dying to remember more about his beloved!

... His loving wife doesn't seem to find it all that necessary. Long days of irreverent flirting, wet kisses, and groping in wooded corners pass by. The hunts turn into hot sessions of kisses, moans, a little more desire here and there. Shen Yuan rides his wife with joy and satisfaction. His wife lets him kiss, suck and spoil him as if it were the only thing that gave him happiness in the world.

Neither he nor his wife can keep their hands to themselves. His wild groping ruins the chances of hunting the beast that ate Shen Yuan's memories more than once. In the end, Shen Yuan can't be upset with his anxious wife, though he pushes out his frustration by pushing him against a tree and taking him standing there, making his needy wife cry with pleasure.

When they finally hunt down the beast, before Shen Yuan can regain his memories, his wife is hesitant. He asks Shen Yuan not to be too angry with him. Shen Yuan has no idea why he would be angry. He loves his wife. Nothing would make him angry with his beloved wife.

... The next morning brings back memories for Shen Yuan. It brings back to Shen Yuan not only the memories of the desperate papapa from the previous night, but all of his damn memories. His transmigration. His second death. Becoming a ghost despite everything!! Rising up the ghost food chain to become a ghost king!!! Take over his own territory by raising beasts and creatures! Stand back from Binghe's growing empire so as not to be overthrown!

And now, what the fuck?! Why did he think of the protagonist as his wife?! Why would the mighty Emperor Luo Binghe agree to that?!

Why would he think he doesn't like women anyway?! He's so damn straight!! But all that... papapa with the protagonist... damn...

Luo Binghe enters the inn room without knocking. He has breakfast in his hands and a soft expression on his face. Shen Yuan feels so guilty that his stomach feels twisted.

"My Lord, this humble one is so sorry, I shouldn't have assumed..." he starts.

Luo Binghe blinks at him… confused?

“Who Lord?” he asks, his voice extremely soft. The expression on his face, soon, looks so betrayed that it seems he is going to cry. “Was my husband expecting someone else?”

Shen Yuan blinks once. Twice. What the fuck.

Oh, he suddenly thinks. They must have been careless and now Luo Binghe's memories had been eaten by another beast. Ah, crap. That would make sense, considering that, uh, after killing the beast and releasing those memories, well, uh, the heavenly pillar had been inside of him for a long time, so, uh... distracted. Very distracted.

"Oh no, sweetheart, this husband got confused" Shen Yuan says as quickly as he can. "Come to bed. Are you okay? What's the last thing you remember?"

Luo Binghe blinks his sweet eyes, and walks over to the bed. He carefully puts down the tray before snuggling up next to Shen Yuan, as if he weren’t taller, stronger, and more powerful than him.

"This wife only remembers his husband," Luo Binghe said, sighing. "And he doesn't think there's anything else important to remember."

Shen Yuan strongly disagrees. Luo Binghe, don't you have a huge harem and a fucking empire to run!? Lots of important things to remember there!!

"It's fine," he hums. "We will have breakfast and go hunting. My wife deserves his memories back."

Luo Binghe nods, a happy sound coming from his mouth. Shen Yuan sighs and kisses his cheek, because he's supposed to think he's his wife, and ah, he's not going to treat him badly now, right? And Luo Binghe looks happy and sounds happy and Shen Yuan could enjoy that a little bit more. He'll have his crisis later.

They will hunt down that beast, recover Luo Binghe's memories, and then he will never see him again. Eh. If he survives Luo Binghe's fury for subjecting him to these humiliations. Damn.

...

(In fact, Luo Binghe has not lost any memories.

In fact, he just wants to convince this beautiful ghost who treats him so well to stay by his side longer. He will do whatever it takes! Hadn't Shen Yuan wanted a wife? He will give him a perfect wife now! A wife so perfect that even with his memories back, he will never want to leave him!!)

imagine an au where shen yuan transmigrates into a blank slate npc with very little system involvement, traveling around for a while until he's found by yue qingyuan and taken back to the sect because apparently shen qingqiu went missing around his transmigration period and shen yuan looks exactly like him, so it must be him, but then a few weeks later when he's just settled in on the peak and accepted his fate the real shen qingqiu shows up who was just on vacation and everyone forgot.

now there are two shen qingqiu's, one of whom is the real one and the other an amnesiac they gaslighted into believing he is shen qingqiu.

anyway—shen qingqiu has a new didi now!

i think it’s important to remember with shen yuan that while he is ultimately a loving person (he cares… so much…), he is also a terminally online otaku that gets into flame wars and harasses people online, and on top of that even by the end of the novel he is still dealing with multiple layers of repression disavowal and performativity that make it so the stars have to align just right for him to be openly kind. i’m not saying he is mean but actually yeah he kinda is a bit of a bitch and that aspect of his character should not be forgotten. like he is kind but not nice yk

out of all the shit hannibal has done to will so far, letting him waltz around with crippling encephalitis is somehow the worst

The idea that "Hannibal has to compromise on his victim pool for Will to be ok with eloping with him post fall" falls apart when you realise that Will is drawn to Hannibal regardless of his cruelty. Will watches Hannibal kill Abigail right in front of his eyes and still chooses not to sever ties. He chases after him in Europe, genuinely tells him "I forgive you." Will understands Hannibal's nature... He understands that he feels unbelievably compelled by Hannibal whilst knowing he is who he is — a sadist who tortures people into their deaths, someone who fucked up Will's head and framed him for murder for the lols — and Will still feels compassion for him; this is the kind of creature Hannibal is, and he is also mind-numbingly complex and incredibly attractive to Will. The conflict is not that Will has to be okay with Hannibal killing 'innocents', it's that Will has to look in the mirror and be able to accept a version of himself who has also murdered people, directly or indirectly. Hunting killers, being in their heads, Will understands intimately the difference between a killer and a non-killer. For so long his fear has been that he will fall off the metaphotical cliff and be seduced by the nature of murder. Those intrusive thoughs he has tried very hard to keep at bay, and now that he has killed Dolarhyde, it will be immensely difficult for him to reconcile with that version of himself. Post-fall, the conflict should be Will's cognitive dissonance, and not whether or not he can bend Hannibal's behaviour.

love when characters who have spent their whole lives believing they are annoying, useless, and a burden are told (and shown) that loving them is like breathing and that they are not required to be anything but alive for this love. for normal and not personal reasons at all.

The full comic is finally over!!! Thank you for following it ~

I've talked about it before but we need more beast keeping peak shen yuan au where he is as terrifying as he is sweet.

I want him to take a bunch of juniors on a night hunt and see a little fluffy animal and go "listen up, that's an invasive species! Whenever we see these we have to do this-" and then he traumatizes them by reducing it to a bloody mess.

He sees a hungry cub whining helplessly and goes oh poor thing I'll find you some food... then he returns covered in gore and drops dripping raw meat in front of it. He looks at his fellow disciples and says "what? It's carnivorous."

Older disciples LOVE watching new students follow shen yuan around like lovestruck ducklings when they first join the peak... then they go on a mission together and come back shaking going "what the fuck was that." It's a rite of passage

Modern AU where Shen Yuan accidentally sugar-daddies everyone.

So for the purposes of this, Shen Yuan's family is basically $10 Bananas levels of cluelessly rich. Shen Yuan has almost never had to look at the prices of anything he wants. He and his siblings all get an allowance from the family's main account, which increases when they reach adulthood, and in the interest of fairness his parents made it all the same size. So Shen Yuan gets the same amount of money for his daily living expenses as his older brothers with their penthouse apartments and vacation homes and private jets, at least from the family account (since he doesn't work, he doesn't actually make as much as them in total because they earn more on top of their allowances).

And the thing is, Shen Yuan genuinely just lives a lot more humbly. He likes people but what would he do with a vacation house? Anything really nice would probably require him to fly to get out there, and he gets sick as hell on planes. Living in the central city is also not great for him, because the air pollution is so bad. Having a whole house to himself would also be ridiculous. So he has a reasonable apartment, in a reasonable area, and he splurges every so often on purchases that make him happy and take-out food that he likes, and of course he pays a cleaning service to come in twice a week. Most people assume he's comfortably middle class and has some tech job he does from home, but he's been getting a lot more than he's been spending in his monthly allowances for years now, and the figures are big.

Enter into this environment author Airplane and his trash novels. Novels, multiple, because in this AU there's no PIDW, and instead after some alternate PIDW prototype got popular in the harem genre, Airplane decided to churn out a series of copy-paste shorter stories rather than recycling the same subplots in one massively long epic.

Shen Yuan of course discovers Airplane's writing and becomes as obsessed with it as ever, except this time he notices that if there are delays between new stories, they seem to clear up faster whenever he throws some cash at the problem. And also that the drops in Airplane's writing quality coincide with times when Shen Yuan was having health issues and not keeping up with his VIP purchases. So, he works out that Airplane's probably doing the writing for the money, and that when Peerless Cucumber isn't paying the most for it, Airplane starts listening to the other buffoons in the comment section more to try and entice them to pay his bills instead.

Peerless Cucumber leaves a comment on one of Airplane's latest stories that kicks off the two of them actually chatting, and Shen Yuan eventually gets to the point of offering to fund all Airplane's writing, in exchange for Airplane not doing his crap sellout stuff to appeal to other readers anymore. Airplane thinks he's joking or maybe mocking him. Shen Yuan asks how much it would cost. Airplane fires off a ridiculous number. Shen Yuan doesn't even blink and wires him the first payment. Then he gets annoyed because Airplane leaves him on read for a while, but that's because Airplane is staring at his account balance in shock.

Of course, it's Airplane who starts referring to Peerless Cucumber as his sugar daddy. Shen Yuan is just like "based on your sex scenes I don't think anyone would pay you for that" and Airplane's all "but you WOULD pay for my sex scenes ^_~" and Shen Yuan's like "technically I am actually paying you not to write that shit" and so on. Usual banter. The quality of Airplane's writing improves dramatically, a lot of his readership drops off but he does get new readers and gradually builds up an even bigger fanbase than before, and so on, it all goes pretty well. He eventually writes a few things that take off to the point of getting physical publications and international translations. Technically Airplane no longer needs Shen Yuan to pay all of his bills by that point but he's not going to tell Shen Yuan that! The contract's still good as long as he keeps writing!

Then one of Airplane's online acquaintances runs into some financial trouble and asks for help.

Liu Mingyan used to beta read for Airplane back when he wrote fanfiction (she was like thirteen, Airplane was unaware because internet and hey free beta), and it seems her family has hit a rough patch. She wants tips on how to go pro, but Airplane explains that it was extremely difficult and he mostly lucked out by finding a single wealthy backer. Mingyan wonders if the same guy would be interested in her writing, Airplane sadly thinks not because Mingyan exclusively writes kinky danmei erotica and Peerless Cucumber seems pretty firmly in the closet still and also generally prefers plotty and world-building heavy stuff.

But like, Airplane has definitely gotten a vibe off of Cucumber-bro, and Mingyan's gorgeous older brother does video streams of himself doing cool martial arts and swordsmanship stuff. So he asks her permission and when she gives it, he recommends Liu Qingge's videos to Shen Yuan, being sure to mention that the guy in question can't really afford to keep up with his hobbies and oh what a shame it would be if he had to stop making art like that.

Haha, Airplane, you're not subtle.

Even so, Shen Yuan watches the videos and immediately agrees that Liu Qingge is beauty in motion, and that it would be criminal to deprive the world of more videos of his sword. Swordsmanship! That is the, the art of, martial arts! Definitely. He clicks the donate button, reasoning out that he'll just send a donation about the size of his usual monthly payments to Airplane and call it his good deed for the day.

Liu Qingge is very confused by this new follower from nowhere who suddenly dumped a little over a month's rent into his account. One thing leads to another, with Mingyan and Airplane conspiring to try and get Shen Yuan as a permanent patron, and then Liu Qingge being let in on it. Except that Airplane keeps referring to Shen Yuan as his sugar daddy, and well... it's not like Liu Qingge doesn't ever get 'those' kinds of comments on his videos. At first he's embarrassed, then offended, then mortified that his own younger sister is apparently setting him up to make premium private videos for what he assumes is some old pervert who is going to want him to do untoward things.

However, their options are pretty bleak at the moment, and Liu Qingge worries that if he doesn't do this then Mingyan might. She even mentions something to the effect of having planned to offer herself, and only didn't because she wasn't this "sugar daddy" guy's type!

Teeth clenched, Liu Qingge asks Airplane stiltedly for advice on how to... appeal, to this wealthy benefactor.

In the end though it's not nearly as bad as Liu Qingge feared. He winds up doing more videos in costumes and cosplay, which ought to have been an untenable expense, but Peerless Cucumber always ends up covering the cost of whatever he invests in plus extra. Sometimes he sends Liu Qingge stuff with a request to wear it, but so far it's just been like, badass warrior-themed or historical costumes. Nothing overtly pervy. He does some LARPing, he makes enough to start doing horseback archery again, convinces some of his good-looking peers from various clubs to spar with him, and ultimately the most risque videos he ends up doing are the ones where he demonstrates how to put on certain kinds of gear. He still locks those ones behind paid subscribers only, mostly because he feels like he's doing something illicit now, even if he used to show more skin on his older videos any time he took his shirt off.

Peerless Cucumber doesn't leave creepy comments, either. In fact he seems genuinely nice and supportive, it's hard not to like him, and so even once his situation levels out Liu Qingge decides there's not really much need to stop making videos for him. (He maybe even gets a little giddy thrill over... well, sometimes he finds it all a bit... just when he thinks about Peerless Cucumber watching him demonstrate his physical prowess and finding that alone worth... ANYWAY--)

So that goes on for a while, before Yue Qi enters the scene.

Yue Qi is the childhood friend of one of Shen Yuan's older brothers (Shen bros!) and Shen Jiu owes him a big favor for something that he won't talk about. At least he won't talk to Shen Yuan about it. But Yue Qi is also not the type to ask for help, and Shen Jiu is very bad at offering it, so when Shen Jiu gets word that Yue Qi is having some difficulties making ends meet, he tells Shen Yuan to act as the middle man. Go offer Qi-ge money, he knows you're nice he'll just accept it, and then Shen Jiu will pay the actual bill.

Well it turns out that Yue Qi doesn't just accept it, of course he sees right through it, and gently but firmly tells Shen Yuan that he's not interested in burdening Shen Jiu further than he already has. Etc, etc, stoic stiff upper lips and no proper communication all around. Shen Yuan panics because it's not working and he's also genuinely worried about Yue Qi by now, so he tries to figure out how to make it compelling and basically blurts that, well, see, the thing is that sometimes he pays men to entertain him. You know. To like. Do things, for him. So. He could also pay Yue Qi? To do something for him?

Yue Qi gets the wrong idea entirely, and at first is like, oh, no, A'Yuan, you shouldn't be paying people for that! These things should just happen organically! But Shen Yuan is very adamant that he believes in compensating people for what they do for him, it's not like he can't afford to, and it gets awkward but Yue Qi is like well he does have health problems. It's perhaps difficult for him to meet people. So then he starts worrying about Shen Yuan and all these strange men he's apparently paying for "entertainment". Does his brother know about this?

No of course Shen Jiu doesn't know! He'd hate it, and Shen Yuan doesn't want to hear about how he's doing everything wrong with his life again!

Then Shen Yuan mentions that his prior house cleaning service up and quit on him (they didn't), and if Yue Qi would like to earn fair compensation he could just come over sometimes to help instead, and Shen Yuan would pay him just to tidy up and hang out for a few hours! Which Yue Qi thinks is a fantastic idea, actually, even if Shen Yuan is only doing this because of his brother, this will give Yue Qi a chance to keep an eye on him and his so-called entertainers. Even if he sort of... ends up also being one?

Shen Yuan keeps everything above board, though his apartment always seems perfectly clean and he overpays way too much (Shen Jiu is still footing this bill after all), and Yue Qi starts to think maybe he actually is being paid for intimacy. Of a sort that they're maybe still working up to? Shen Yuan usually has a very thin face after all. He's kind of got two minds about this prospect. On the one hand, he's got his situationship with Shen Jiu, so dating his brother would be absurd. But on the other hand, it's not actually dating, and he does like Shen Yuan, and maybe if they can be good company for each other then Yue Qi won't feel so depressed and Shen Yuan won't need to hire strange men so often.

Meanwhile it's come to Shen Yuan's attention, perhaps through an offhand comment he read online somewhere, that people who are struggling financially often also struggle to "treat themselves". Because even when they have enough money to be comfortable there's often the looming specter of deprivation, and etc, so he figures he should start buying some of his dependents more treats and things. Since they might not buy them for themselves? And also he's enjoying doing this but shhh no he isn't, it's a huge hassle, he's only doing it out of basic moral decency, etc.

So like, Airplane starts getting little things that he'd put on some public wish lists, clearly sent by Peerless Cucumber. And he tells Mingyan to make a list for Liu Qingge too, and sure enough, Liu Qingge (bewildered, slightly flustered) tries to figure out what he's supposed to do with an album from a band he likes and some high-end leather polish. Ultimately settles on playing the music and wearing his nicest leather in his next video. Yue Qi starts arriving at Shen Yuan's place to be plied with his favorite coffees and to have scented candles awkwardly foisted onto him (Shen Yuan does not know what Yue Qi likes in gifts) (he buys these presents himself they're not out of Shen Jiu's pocket).

So finally Shen Yuan's parents start to notice that he's been spending a lot more than usual, and start to worry that he's either been taken in by a scam artist or is secretly dating a gold digger or has developed a drug addiction or something. But asking things directly like normal people is basically illegal in the Shen family, so they decide to hire a private investigator.

Enter Luo Binghe, a young man of humble background who is struggling to make ends meet after the untimely death of his adoptive mother, and is using his P.I. job and his online cooking videos to help pay his way through school (scholarship student). Usually his cases are more like, cyberstalking someone to find out if they're cheating on their spouse, or helping someone planning a lawsuit accumulate evidence on their corrupt employer, or other things like that. When he gets the Shen Yuan case, the idea that the Shen family's son is paying for "company" is well within his list of probable answers.

Though this one is a little... peculiar?

Mostly because Binghe can't find evidence of Shen Yuan actually getting what he would, presumably, be paying for. At first Luo Binghe just goes through the online paper trails, using the info that the Shen parents give him to figure out that Shen Yuan is paying Airplane and Swordmaster Liu (*cough*) what seem to be exorbitant prices just for trashy fiction and cosplay videos. He assumes this is a cover, that someone's actually delivering drugs or going over for "private meetings" or at least actually sending dirty videos as well, but even when he pays for Liu Qingge's VIP access it's just tutorials and such. Neither of these guys are even on any of the sites that are more lenient towards hosting explicit content. Luo Binghe's aware that kinks aren't always obviously sexual, but people don't usually pay through the nose for the kind of content they can easily find for free all over the place, either.

He digs a little more but keeps coming up empty on evidence to clarify which of the many vices the Shen family's son is actually indulging in. Which is a problem because that's the information they're paying him to find out. Plus his curiosity kind of piques as he reads Shen Yuan's seemingly quite invested comments on Airplane's writing and Liu Qingge's videos, looking to see if there's any kind of clandestine code or pattern. But near as he can tell, whatever else Shen Yuan might be getting out of these arrangements, he does genuinely like the stories and videos too? Well. Sometimes. Sometimes he's actually scathingly vitriolic towards Airplane's writing.

Luo Binghe decides that surveilling Shen Yuan himself is probably the way to go. That gets more complicated in court cases, but since the Shen parents just wants to know what's going on and aren't planning on prosecuting their son for anything, it doesn't matter as much if Luo Binghe gets information in sneaky or underhanded ways.

So, Binghe uses the account he created to access Liu Qingge's videos to chat with Shen Yuan a few times, and then recommends his own cooking channel. Shen Yuan doesn't seem too interested in cooking, so Luo Binghe makes sure to include a video that has an image of himself in his recommendation, and then films a few new videos of himself cooking with his shirtsleeves rolled up to three quarters and a few more buttons than usual unbuttoned, adopting a more flirty persona than he typically does for his shows. He takes his cues from some of Liu Qingge's more popular videos for how to be enticing bait.

It takes a few videos, but eventually Shen Yuan comments. Luo Binghe latches onto the chance to start talking to him, playing up a persona of a vulnerable young man with little means who is trying hard to make it through school, etc, and sure enough Shen Yuan seems interested. Well, most predatory people like vulnerable targets, don't they?

However... Shen Yuan just sends him a chunk of money.

Luo Binghe is confused.

Isn't he supposed to ask for something or create some kind of expectation of repayment first? But, maybe this is his approach to handling new targets. Maybe he's just trying to lull Binghe into a false sense of complacency, before he starts indicating what he wants from all of this. Luo Binghe makes sure to move the money Shen Yuan sends him into a separate account, so that if the Shen parents get angry about it then he can return it as a gesture of good faith.

But Shen Yuan just keeps sending supportive comments and donations. Eventually he leaves a comment that alludes to how badly he'd like to taste Binghe's cooking, and Binghe is like finally, but when he implies that they could perhaps meet in person and Luo Binghe could thank him for his support by making him something, Shen Yuan backs off.

Things eventually progress to the point where Luo Binghe, who is a totally normal person treating this like a totally normal job still thank you very much, is basically camping out in the bushes in front of Shen Yuan's apartment building. At some point he conscripts the aid of his weird cousin (finding his birth family was how he got into this business initially), and then almost immediately regrets it because Shen Yuan helps get Zhuzhi Lang a job doing landscaping for his building.

Why would he want Zhuzhi Lang close but not Binghe? Binghe is much handsomer! He'd make an excellent target for seduction! >:(

Anyway eventually Yue Qi catches Luo Binghe lurking around like a creeper and is like, finally, I have caught one of these suspicious men, whilst Binghe is like oh so he does have a lover, well this guy sucks and is clearly not good enough for him, and they both try and chase one another off and Shen Yuan comes home to a heated passive-aggressive-politeness war being waged in front of his apartment. Eventually he realizes the misunderstanding and calls everyone together (zoom conference? in-person meet-up?) to clarify that he is not paying any of them for "special favors", that was just Airplane being deranged about his sense of humor, and then he has no idea what to do when the prevailing response seems to be disappointment.