When You Want To Be Hunting Rebels But You’re Overstimulated At Dinner With Your Mom Instead

"average elf uses 3 brain cells a year" factoid actually statistical error. average elf uses 0 brain cells per year. Braincells Elrond, who lives in Imladris & uses 10,000 brain cells every day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

I honestly have no concrete opinion right now, I like letting all versions exist simultaneously for the most part. But other than the usual son or Fingon or Orodreth, some others I've heard, ranked on outlandishness:

Lalwen's son

Glorfindel's kid, where Glorfindel is in turn Lalwen's son

Son of Caranthir (sometimes +Haleth)

A random kid Círdan found in the trash and said "yeah, I can work with this"

Finduilas in disguise

Actually Círdan's kid somehow, not Noldorin at all, they're running a con

Either Eluréd or Elurín in disguise. Or both depending on the day.

A Maia who got bored

Two dwarves in a trench coat

The ambiguity is so funny I love it.

PLEASE send me ur who-is-gil-galad theories i am losing my absolute mind rn

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss

When I say I'm "Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In My Lane. Focused. Flourishing." this is what I mean:

I like this image of Gil-galad destroying Orcs in the background while Elrond is chatting with Narvi

Durin be like "Bombastic side-eye" "CRIMINAL OFFENSIVE SIDE-EYE" and honestly good for him Evil Barbie is not to be trusted

I really like this, I once explained QPRs as looking at the rules for established relationship types and saying "No, we don't like those," and then building your own relationship, taking pieces you like, leaving what you don't, and even adding your own stuff if you want, to make a new thing that works for you.

i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.

the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.

linguistics hcs: voseo in (fëanorian) quenya

i am currently taking a course on spanish dialects and yesterday we talked about "voseo" which in oversimplified terms is a variation in 2nd person informal pronouns and verbs, e.g. tú tienes -> vos tenís. the rules and commonality of voseo depend largely on the region, so in some places it is the default, in some places it is not used or barely used at all, and in some places it is a complicated little shit (for example, here in chile, you will sometimes hear the tú pronoun with the vos form of the verb, e.g. tú tenís, and the vos pronoun is reserved for Very familiar or informal situations).

my knowledge of quenya grammar is pre-elementary, so everything i am about to say is based exclusively on what i think would be fun, but!!!! let's go back to valinor in the years of the trees. while i'm pretty sure tolkien never made a distinction between formal/informal 2nd person in quenya, i do think the noldor would have naturally created one (they were big fans of their monarchy which would lead to quite the hierarchical society, they canonically mess around w grammatical rules for fun, and i also can't imagine they wouldn't employ a high level of formality when speaking to the ainur or at least the valar in particular).

now, i am a big fan of the hc that fëanor created the exclusive 1st person plural in quenya (as in "WE do this but YOU the listener do NOT") so he could make subtle grammatical jabs at indis and her kids. we also know the fëanorians used linguistic differences as political markers (see: shibboleth of fëanor). ALL THIS TO SAY, i think fëanor also created a quenya equivalent of voseo. it's not an exact equivalent because of historical context and reasoning for the shift in spanish, but suspend ur disbelief. here's what i think happened in quenya:

c. the noldor's arrival in valinor, they introduced a formal 2nd person form ("usted" for the sake of comparing this to spanish) (this was probably also picked up by the vanyar, if u care) (i will think about telerin languages another day, i'm already giving myself a headache)

fëanor, in an effort to distinguish his house and followers from the rest of the finwëans (specifically the nolofinwëans bc this is fëanor we're talking about), introduced a More Familiar informal 2nd person (see: chilean voseo) used only among the fëanorians

fëanorian "voseo" functions very similarly to chilean voseo overall. the pronoun itself is reserved for very informal/familiar contexts, close relationships, etc, but the VERB takes over from the standard informal form ("tú" conjugations) in the fëanorian dialect as another political marker

so for example, fëanor would "vos tenís" his kids, but "tú tenís" fingolfin's kids

i am inclined to say that this shift happens after the unchaining of melkor, when the political divide is a lot more dramatic, and therefore the whole thing is very controversial, but definitely is the standard in formenos during the exile

could also be used for dramatic effect

imagine the scenes if fëanor addressed fingolfin w the Fëanorian Super Informal Pronoun in "get thee gone and take thy due place"

imagine the scenes if fingolfin addressed fëanor w the Fëanorian Super Informal Pronoun in "thou shalt lead and i will follow"!!!!!

the fëanorians in beleriand definitely preserved this, bc of course they did

whether this phenomenon exists in other languages besides quenya i am unsure

i am too exhausted after all that to write any sort of proper conclusion. i hope it made sense. feel free to ask questions or add things on. live laugh linguistics

Excited for Andor??? 👀

Part: 245/?