Jonathan On The 12th: This Thing Isn't Human, I Just Watched Him Scale The Bloody Walls Like A Fucking

has anyone figured out how much art you need to make to make your mental illness go away

here’s my bold S2 prediction

Every few weeks I think about Lucifer in angels before man. Lovely Lucifer, curious Lucifer, hungry for life and love and experience and so so curious, almost childlike_ and I think how god didn't like how slow Lucifer was going about bringing about the end so he took matters into his own hands. I think of that kind of betrayal. I think how he was pushed into doing what he was created for, not given a choice into it, punished for it, and Michael will never know the true story, and if he does, he will never trust Lucy because his loyalties lie with god.

Then I think of Uriel with the other half of his soul in the great darkness. I think of him losing his half, having to shift his loyalties for survival and from fear_and I get very sad.

the house. it watches every move you make

julia armfield, our wives under the sea / shirley jackson, the haunting of hill house / rainer maria rilke, rilke's book of hours / @kayleerowena, gravehouse / danez smith, quoted by saeed jones in how we fight for our lives

im going crazy with how people are starting to agree with snow that sejanus was really stupid and deserved what was coming to him. reading the books first should be a pre requisite to the movie idcccc if that takes away the wider audience, the wider audience all have smooth brains anyway.

“why was he colluding with rebels when he could’ve just thought about it pragmatically 🙄” i’m in your fucking walls. sejanus was never dumb, snow just kept pushing that perception of him through the book to deflect the fact that sejanus was an actual good person. snow thought himself the personification of good and benevolence, which was why everything he did had to have some half-assed excuse as to why he was justified in doing it. it was why he was actually tweaking in the woods when lucy gray left him, because he wanted to rid himself of her but he didn’t have an actual reason so he convinced himself of the most random scenario ever to justify trying to shoot at her. so we can establish that snow was an evil broke boy who clearly wasn’t good— then sejanus was a direct confrontation of snow’s own shortcomings towards that (i don’t think i have to detail how sejanus was genuine, it was obvious). coriolanus and sejanus are like the direct opposite characters of each other, and snow knew and took pride in this to an extent. which is why snow couldn’t admit that sejanus was good to himself, thus sejanus was deemed ‘stupid’ to protect his own deluded self actualisation (but this also includes other aspects like how the war made the plinths rich and the snows poor, leading to resentment and jealousy from snow).

“but that still didn’t mean he wasn’t doing dumb things throughout the book” was it really that dumb? a rebellion will always include some level of risk but i don’t hear anyone calling heavensbee stupid because it actually worked out for him. plus sejanus is district, so if we use our common sense of who he is as a character and emotional intelligence of his situation, it’s pretty easy to see why he would get in touch with rebels. he’s literally always yearned for the districts, he never once cared about his money or safety, which isn’t stupid, it’s sad. this was his way of dealing with the guilt of profiting from his people’s suffering— again, not stupid. you could argue he was reckless, especially when he went into the arena, but most people who simply cast him as a ‘dumb character’ ignore how troubled he is and fall into the very filtered lens of snow who was just concentrating on his stupidity.

sejanus’ growing radical actions had nothing to do with stupidity and everything to do with feeling helpless and like nothing was changing. he tried minor/low-risk things such as attempting to change the perception of the districts in the capitol, advocating against the hunger games etc etc. of course it didn’t work, so his options grew limited to more radical courses of action. its a natural line of thought— activists literally do it in real life when they feel as if their cause isn’t getting enough attention (eg. setting themselves on fire). sejanus is a desperate character who is so selfless in light of snow’s constant self-preservation. snow will always put himself first and be paranoid that he will be betrayed like he’s betrayed others, so he never understands sejanus’ disposition to help and trust people, so he labels him dumb. omg. like. sejanus is so not-stupid i’m actually gonna start freaking out!! this is defamatory leave my boo alone!! plz go read a book and work on media literacy i am begging!!!

Loved by god

we return to snow leopard

" I knelt and put my hands on his shoulders. I kissed his cheek. No human scent. No human warmth. Sculpture of my Nicolas. 'Play it,' I whispered. 'Play it here just for us.'"

3 apples tall.. hopefully nothing will happen to them

Wish I was dying of end stage alcoholism in a Tunisian monastery