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NÃO HÁ LUGAR COMO O LAR - PERCY/NICO AU COLEGIAL - CAPÍTULO III

Oii, como vai? Capítulo na hora prometida. Nesse capitulo vamos entender mais um pouco sobre a relação deles. Devagar vai chegar lá, e desde já obrigada pela presença e apoio^^

Capítulos anteriores: CAPÍTULO I / CAPÍTULO II

O sinal bateu bem na hora em que Nico bocejou, levando a mão à boca. 

— Você quer ir pra casa? — Percy perguntou, parando de escrever na folha de questões sobre física, momentaneamente, parecendo pensar seriamente sobre alguma coisa para voltar a escrever apressadamente, sem desviar sua atenção da tarefa, tudo isso enquanto segurava em uma de suas mãos, como se Nico fosse sair correndo no caso de Percy não estar lá para impedi-lo. Era quase engraçado, eles sentados em uma roda de seis ou sete pessoas no chão da biblioteca enquanto ele observava Percy fazer todo o trabalho pesado.

Ele queria dizer para Percy que não estava cansado, que era só o fuso horário. Mesmo que ele tenha chegado há dois ou três dias, ainda não tinha se acostumado e mal tinha conseguido dormir nas noites anteriores, sem mencionar o clima que era bem mais ameno do que na Itália, o clima frio o fazendo ficar com sono facilmente. O problema era que Percy disse que seriam dez minutos que viraram trinta e agora, uma hora e meia depois, sentado no meio dos colegas de classe, eles resolviam as questões que o professor tinha entregado, valendo nota. Ele sabia que devia estar ajudando Percy com a tarefa, igual os outros estavam fazendo, trabalhando em pares, mas como Percy parecia feliz em escrever sozinho, Nico deixou que Percy se divertisse, observando a expressão séria e concentrada no rosto do amigo, que enfim, levantou o rosto e o encarou, sorrindo, como se apenas naquele momento tivesse lembrado da presença de Nico.

— Desculpa. Eu sempre acabo fazendo essas coisas sozinho. Não tenho paciência para ficar enrolando.

Percy estava certo. As pessoas ao redor estavam escrevendo, mas elas também conversavam em voz baixa, discretas, porém óbvias.

— Eu prometi. Vamos.

— Você pode terminar, eu não me importo.

— Eu terminei.

Percy estava certo mais uma vez, Nico espiou a folha no colo de Percy e viu que todas as questões estavam preenchidas com respostas completas.

— Você quer levar para casa e estudar?

— Não, não precisa.

Então, ele estava se levantando, Percy atrás dele, o apoiando pelas costas e guardando a folha dentro da bolsa. Ninguém pareceu vê-los sair, apenas a bibliotecária os cumprimentou na saída e finalmente eles estavam livres, o sol de fim de tarde ainda brilhava, trazendo um pouco da umidade e calor que ele tanto sentia falta. Contente, Nico deu alguns passos para fora dos corredores, indo em direção ao pátio descoberto e fechou os olhos, deixando que os raios de sol o esquentassem suavemente. É claro que logo Percy estava a seu lado, segurando sua mão, como sempre havia sido. A presença de Percy sempre acalentadora, ele até podia sentir o olhar do amigo sobre ele.

— O que foi? — Ele teve que perguntar, ainda de olhos fechados.

— Eu te mantive em cárcere privado, não foi?

— Não seja ridículo. — Nico quase revirou os olhos de impaciência, querendo sair logo dali, se contentando em passar mais alguns minutos sobre o sol.

— Não fica bravo comigo.

— Não estou bravo. — Ele quase não deu importância ao que Percy falava, Nico conseguia sentir o tom brincalhão retornando com força. Porque, no fim, o que Percy queria era atenção.

— Hmm, não. Isso não pode ficar assim.

Nico abriu os olhos e viu que sem perceber, já estavam no estacionamento do colégio. Esse tinha sido seu maior erro, porque enquanto ele estava distraído com o céu limpo e o clima agradável, perdeu o momento em que Percy o encurralou contra a parede do estacionamento e levantou as próprias mãos e… e as enfiou contra sua barriga e abdome, começando uma guerra de cócegas. Ele não se lembrava da última vez que alguém tinha tido a coragem de fazer aquilo com ele. De fato, Percy tinha sido o último, dois anos atrás, antes dele viajar para longe. Naquela época quando Nico ficava quieto por muito tempo essa era a tática favorita que Percy tinha para fazê-lo falar ou reagir; ele tinha que admitir, não sentia saudade dessa tortura humilhante, mas o contato era bem-vindo. Contraditório, não? Parecia que qualquer coisa que Percy fizesse naquele momento seria recebido de boa vontade.

— Percy Jackson! — Ele guinchou e se desenrolou das mãos de Percy, correndo para longe daqueles longos dedos incansáveis. É claro que ele não teria paz! Percy veio correndo atrás dele, gargalhando feito um maníaco e com pernas medindo o dobro das suas, Percy em meros minutos o alcançou, o segurando pela cintura.

— Ni-coo… — E tudo bem, agora que ele analisava as coisas… eles não tinham as brincadeiras mais inocentes, porque a forma que Percy o segurava apertado, costas contra peito e boca bem perto de seu ouvido… era exatamente como as coisas costumavam acontecer no passado.

— Eu te perdoo! Te perdoo.

— De verdade? Você não está falando isso para depois se vingar de mim de formas lentas e cruéis?

— Eu nunca faria isso!

— Mentiroso. — Percy disse na mesma forma doce e baixinha contra sua pele, parecendo que não iria soltá-lo tão cedo.

— Percy! A gente não é mais criança!

— Não é mesmo. — Percy voltou a murmurar e deu uma risadinha seca que fez os cabelos em sua nuca se arrepiarem. Isso é, antes de Percy o virar de frente e se aproximar mais ainda dele, encostando sua testa a dele. E talvez, esse gesto seria algo comum quando eles estavam longe de olhares curiosos, debaixo das cobertas, nas milhares de vezes que ele dormia na casa de Percy já que apenas as empregadas e Bianca estariam o esperando em casa. Quando eles eram pequenos parecia algo afetuoso e inocente, mas agora… bem… ainda parecia afetuoso. — Você quer jantar? O restaurante ainda está aberto.

Mas como ele podia pensar em comida quando eles estavam tão próximos, respirando o ar do outro? Quando as mãos de Percy estavam em sua cintura e em seus cabelos, não permitindo que ele desviasse o olhar? Quando ele o abraçava de volta? Seus corpos prensados juntos e mesmo através das roupas ele podia sentir o calor de Percy.

— Nico… Niccolas… — Por que Percy tinha que sussurrar seu nome daquele jeito? Porque ele tinha que tocá-lo daquele jeito? Tão forte e firme, como se temesse que ele fosse desaparecer a qualquer momento. Ele… ele não sabia se estava pronto.

Tão perto agora… a cabeça de Percy veio em direção a sua e… e… e ele deixou o ar sair, fechando os olhos.

— Comida. Comida é uma boa ideia. Certo? — Ele engoliu em seco por um momento, mas quando Percy não fez nada além continuar o abraçando sem se aproximar mais, Nico abriu os olhos, vendo seus olhos intensos sobre ele, queimando feito labaredas.

— Você está com medo de mim. — Tinha sido uma afirmação, a luz nos olhos de Percy parecendo sumir junto com seu sorriso brincalhão.

— Não… eu não… eu só… não estou pronto?

— É isso mesmo? Ou é outra coisa? Eu não quero ser uma dessas pessoas…

Ele entendia o que Percy queria dizer. Percy nunca faria algo para abusar de sua confiança mesmo que tentasse. Ele confiava em Percy, era em si mesmo que Nico não confiava. Se ele já estava assim em menos de vinte e quatro horas perto de Percy, o que aconteceria se ele se deixasse levar? Temia que… que a obsessão retornaria ainda mais intensa do que antes.

— A gente pode ir devagar? — Nico enfim conseguiu cuspir para fora, se sentindo estremecer.

— É claro. Tudo o que você quiser. — E Percy parecia falar sério. Percy o observou por mais uns momentos, como se decidisse algo importante e deu um passo para trás, apenas o suficiente para segurar em sua cintura e o guiar até o carro que estava parado perto da saída do estacionamento.

Percy abriu a porta para ele, pegou ambas suas mochilas e as colocou no banco de trás, dando a volta rapidamente para se sentar a seu lado, parecendo ansioso. Não era aquela ansiedade do tipo de quem estava bravo ou irritado, era mais… alguém cheio de energia e que não sabia o que fazer com isso. Restou a Nico relaxar contra o assento do carro e encostar a cabeça no apoio, quem sabe quando eles chegassem no restaurante a tensão que ele sentia teria se dissipado.

***  

— O que você acha?

Era um lugar bem aconchegante e acolhedor, a decoração era feita de forma simples e em confortáveis tons vermelhos, como algo que ele veria na casa de sua avó já falecida há alguns anos. Ele sentia vontade de sentar em uma das poltronas perto da recepção, fazer um chocolate quente e se sentar perto da lareira com um cobertor sobre seus ombros.

— Eu gostei.

— Tenho uma reserva. — Percy disse todo orgulhoso. Eram seis horas da tarde em ponto, o que significava que Percy tinha planejado tudo aquilo, matar tempo na escola para trazê-lo ali na hora certa.

— O que eu faço com você, hein?

— Que tal dizer “Obrigado, Percy. Você é tão atencioso”.

— É assim que você dá em cima das pessoas?

— Está funcionando?

Nico suspirou e aceitou a mão que Percy oferecia, o guiando em direção ao maitre. O lugar era específico demais. Provavelmente outras pessoas da idade deles não gostariam do lugar tanto quanto Nico tinha gostado. O pior era que ele não odiava nenhum pouco isso, Nico apreciava o esforço que Percy tinha feito para encontrar algo tão… tão a sua cara, como se tivesse encontrado um pedacinho da Itália apenas para que ele se sentisse melhor.

— Você não precisava.

— Eu quis que você se sentisse bem vindo. — Ele não precisava olhar para Percy para entender o que aquelas palavras realmente significavam, porque o que Percy realmente queria dizer era “Eu quero que você se sinta em casa para nunca mais precisar ir embora”. 

Ele não sabia desde quando tudo era tão óbvio. Cada palavra e cada gesto. Era como se eles estivessem dançando, como se soubessem cada passo e só estavam esperando a música acabar para enfim… certo. Ele, então, levantou a cabeça e encarou Percy que naquele momento parecia como o homem mais perfeito do mundo, aquele que Nico sempre havia sonhado em ter; gentil, compreensivo, bonito, bem vestido, tão alto e forte que ele sabia que nunca precisaria se preocupar em se defender. Mas Percy sempre tinha sido assim, o perfeito príncipe. No fim realmente era óbvio, não era? Esse era o motivo de seu problema. Não importava por quem ele procurasse, Nico sempre acabaria nesse mesmo lugar, buscando por Percy em todos os rostos. Talvez ele apenas devesse… parar de procurar em outros lugares.

— A gente pode ir pra casa se você quiser. — Percy disse a ele, agora parando a sua frente. Ele devia estar fazendo papel de bobo de novo, olhando para Percy sem dizer nada.

— Não, a gente pode comer. — Quando o sorriso voltou para o rosto de Percy, ele soube que tinha feito a escolha certa.

Eles seguiram o maitre pela fila de mesas até que subiram um par de escadas e então entraram em um salão que era maior que o andar de baixo, mas que estava mais vazio, cheio de mesas redondas e pequenas e outras com mais privacidade ao fundo do cômodo ao lado de grandes janelas que deixavam a luz do dia entrar, mas como a noite começava a cair, velas aromáticas já estavam acesas.

— Espero que os senhores aprovem os acentos? — Eles acenaram e logo lhes foi oferecido o menu.

A verdade é que Nico não estava interessado em comida, não era por isso que estavam ali. Ou era? Por isso tinha decidido, deixaria que Percy lhe dissesse.

— O que você quer comer? — Percy perguntou, mãos segurando o cardápio, mas seus olhos estavam sobre os dele, olhos que pareciam mais verdes do que nunca sobre a luz das velas naquele restaurante, a penumbra da noite deixando o ambiente ainda mais intimista e pessoal.

— Não sei, um vinho? Você escolhe.

Percy o encarou por um momento, parecendo refletir sobre a resposta e se aproximou mais um pouco, colocando o braço sobre seu ombro e desfazendo o resto da distância entre eles.

— Eu queria conversar sobre a gente.

— Eu sei disso.

— Eu só… preciso saber.

— Eu sei.

— São dez anos nisso. Eu preciso saber.

E Percy estava certo. Eles eram tão pequenos e inocentes naquela época, e depois… depois eles ainda eram pequenos, mas não tão inocentes até que… até que ele surtou e depois Percy surtou e ele foi embora sem avisar ninguém. Assim, do nada, e tão do nada quanto ele tinha partido, Percy tinha ligado para ele, tão diferente do que Nico conhecia e tão familiar ao mesmo tempo que o deixou confuso por um longo tempo. Ele se lembrava que durante longos meses ele só teve energia para cumprir suas obrigações e se apegar a essas ligações diárias até que ele soubesse o que fazer. E ali estavam eles, praticamente no mesmo lugar, a diferença era que agora eles entendiam quais seriam as consequências, não importava qual fosse a decisão no final.

— Eu gosto de você. — Nico se decidiu pelo mais simples. Admitia que não era a pessoa mais assertiva ou que sequer fazia boas escolhas.

— Não foi o que eu perguntei.

— Eu não sei. Sinto sua falta. É o suficiente?

— Não. — Percy dizia tudo aquilo tão sério que ele meio que… queria rir. Talvez já estivesse um pouquinho. Ninguém podia culpá-lo por isso.

— Então, você decide.

— Nico! Você disse que não estava pronto!

— Não estou. Nunca vou estar. Não quero destruir o que a gente tem. Na verdade, não quero um relacionamento.

— Porque você tem que ser tão confuso!

— Não é sobre sexo. Essa é a parte fácil.

— Nico, eu sei. O que posso fazer para você--

— Deuses, Percy! Eu sou o problema. Sou muito instável. Você não quer andar com uma bomba relógio no bolso, quer?

— Bebê, você pode explodir quando quiser, contanto que exploda comigo.

Nico gemeu e levou as mãos ao rosto, isso era ridículo! Ambos sabiam porque ele tinha ido embora e sabiam perfeitamente porque ele tinha voltado. Nico ainda estava se acostumando com a ideia de que dessa vez ele não tinha para onde correr quando seus sentimentos irrompessem por todos os cantos, obrigando Percy a catar os pedaços.

— Será que você pode falar sério por cinco minutos?

— Eu sei de tudo isso, querido. Cada coisinha que você acha que consegue esconder de mim.

— Vai ser pior do que antes!

— Você disse que eu podia decidir.

— Sim, mas-- quero ir devagar.

— Então me deixe decidir. Eu só preciso da sua permissão.

— Permissão para fazer o quê?

Nico observou em câmera lenta a mão que estava em volta de seu ombro viajar para sua nuca, massageando o lugar, e o puxando suavemente para mais perto, inclinando sua cabeça até alcançar a posição certa para os lábios de Percy finalmente descerem contra os seus no beijo mais inocente e doce que ele já tinha provado.

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Obrigada por ler! Comentários são sempre bem vindos^^

People used to comment on web comics.

People used to comment on fanfiction.

People used to comment on fanart.

People used to comment on OCs.

I hate "content" culture.

I hate "consuming content" and scrolling immediately to the next thing.

People used to be excited about the art that other people created.

People used to want to share that excitement with creators.

I hate this future.

[x]

SITTER'S LOVE - Nico!Babysitter, Percy!Teacher-father - Chapter XXII and Chapter XXIII

Hi! New chapter for you. Hope you like it!

Previous chapters: CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / / CHAPTER III, CHAPTER IV e CHAPTER V / Chapter VI e Chapter VII / Chapter VIII e Chapter IX / Chapter X, Chapter XI, Chapter XII e Chapter XIII / Chapter XIV / Chapter XV / Chapter XVI e Chapter XVII / Chapter XVIII and Chapter XIX / Chapter XX and Chapter XXI

Chapter XXII

"You really don't want me to take you home?”

Nico denied it and hugged Percy tightly. They were outside the condominium, Percy insisting on taking him home.

"The children can't stay alone, Annabeth just left and--”

“Nico, let me decide about that, will you?”

He looked at Percy suspiciously and took a step back. Normally Nico would trust the man's judgment, but he was beginning to see that Percy wasn't as responsible or perfect as he thought, especially when it came to something Percy wanted, and in this case, that was Nico himself.

"I don't like it when you do that to them. Alice and Logan may be grown up, but they still need their family's attention.”

"I liked it better when you said yes to everything. It was much easier." Percy gave a small smile, apologizing with his eyes and raised his hands, in surrender, and said: "Don't be like that, Roberta is still at home.”

Roberta was the housekeeper, the one who kept the house in order, helped prepare food and had control over the children's routine. And honestly? She was more efficient at raising the children than he could ever be. So this was Nico making the most of the rest of the time he had around.

"Come on, don't be mad at me. Let me take you home. It's already past nine o'clock.”

"No, I'm not going to make you drive across town.”

"I want to, so I can see where you're living.”

"I knew there was a reason behind it." Nico couldn't help but feel like a bratty little kid. He crossed his arms and glared at him.

"Nico, please. I feel responsible for what happened. I just want to make sure you're safe.”

That's when Percy touched Nico's shoulder and with his other hand, gently held his chin, making him look at Percy more closely.

Ahg, Nico groaned and shifted restlessly, refusing to look away. He hated when Percy did that; those stormy green eyes and worried frown always had the same effect on him. In the end, Nico just sighed, knowing he would never win.

Percy opened the car door for him, satisfaction oozing from every pore as Nico jumped into the gigantic jeep.

"Satisfied, now?”

"I'll be when you tell me the address.”

Why did Percy have to be so childish? Or was it just him? Did it matter? Nico gave in and relaxed against the passenger seat, feeling that little bit more anxious, a good kind of anxious; the kind that makes you act and gives you an unknown but welcome pleasure. Thinking about it, the butterflies in the middle of his stomach only fluttered more when Percy smiled at him, starting the car, one of his hands coming to rest on his knee, not helping him in the least.

The worst part was that the gesture sounded almost respectful, with a certain degree of affection. He had only seen that kind of thing with couples, likeHades and Maria. Nico remembered when they still lived in Italy, Maria used to smile a lot more andHades still acted like his father;Hades often sought some contact with Maria, so on car trips it was common forHades to smile at Maria and place one of his hands on her knee, just like Percy did now. Nico wanted to question him, he wanted to ask what that gesture meant, he wanted to know what it meant to them. But even if he had an answer, it wouldn't be the right one. Percy already had a family and a career, while he had barely started his. What would happen when Nico spent more time working than at home? What if he had to travel far away? Nico couldn't let that happen to them, such a common story, but one that could define their future completely. It’s like, if he was already attached to the point of thinking about these things, what would become of the future?

"…ico … Nico.”

"Hm?”

"Are you okay? Where was that little head of yours?”

"I… it’s nothing. I just…”

He shrugged and looked down at Percy's hand that was still on his knee, as if that was exactly where it belonged.

"I…" For some strange reason, Nico felt his throat tighten, the words he wanted to say so badly trapped in uncertainty. He might not be sure of the future, but he also didn’t want to lose these moments with Percy. Each one was special, memories Nico would treasure for when things got tough.

"It's nothing. Really. I'm just tired.”

"Do you need a break?”

Nico shook his head, he had barely come back. He kept looking forward and placed his hands on the one in his knee, trying not to think about anything, just fingering the knuckles and veins in the strong arm that was three times bigger than his.

"Turn right. I live in the city center, near those historic buildings.”

It didn't take long and soon they were in front of the apartment, forcing Nico to take his cell phone out of his pocket and call Jason, letting him know he had arrived. In less than five minutes Jason appeared, only in shorts and flip-flops, his blond hair sticking out in every direction and with a not-so-friendly expression.

"Where were you? Thalia and I were waiting for you until late.”

"It's not what it looks like.”

“What did you expect? Do you know what time it is?” Jason scowled at Nico until he looked at Percy, finally seeming to wake up from his stupor. “And why is Percy Jackson with you?”

"Do you know him?" Nico had to ask, confused.

"Who doesn't? He's known for a lot of things around here.”

"Among the businessmen and upper class." This time, it was Percy who answered, grimacing. "It's a pleasure to meet you. You're Zeus's son, right? My father speaks highly of you.”

“That’s news to me,” Jason said in greeting, shaking the hand Percy offered.

"Hey, I want to know what these things are!”

Were they, by any chance, ignoring him?

"I wish you wouldn't talk about it." Again, Percy referred to Jason, as if they were best friends.

"I can't promise anything. It wouldn't be fair for you to know everything about Nico while Nico knows nothing about you.”

“How do you know that?” Percy asked, lifting his head, mocking Jason in a friendly way.

"No Jackson would let himself be so vulnerable. And if there's one thing I know, it's that you're the kind of people who like to be in control of everything.”

Nico didn’t know why, but he found himself smiling, a slow kind of smile that slowly spread until there was nothing left in its path. Because, it was a fact, Percy seemed to be that kind of person. Controlling and domineering, but not in a negative way? It was very confusing. Or maybe, he was already too invested to see the real danger.

"You're overreacting," Percy said.

"No, he's not." Nico replied.

He couldn't help himself. He grabbed Percy's arm and kissed him on the cheek, holding himself close until Percy turned to him, giving him all the attention Nico could possibly want.

"Are you scared? Too late for that, don't you think?" Nico murmured to Percy.

"Nico! I was a different person. What teenager doesn't do stupid things?”

"Me. I never did!”

"Exactly. You're an exception. You would never do that.”

"That, what, exactly?" Nico smiled even wider and leaned towards him, Percy looking uncomfortable, but seeming to be equally amused.

"Mm-rh." Jason cleared his throat and Nico turned to see what it was.

Jason watched him with a raised eyebrow, judging him as only he could. Oh, Nico could already see it; no one would sleep today, as this would be the length of his questioning.

"I think we better go in, it's very late.”

"That's right, sorry for keeping you guys. Jason, why don't you stop by the company and talk to Max? I'm sure he can help you.”

"Is that a bribe?”

"Only if it's working.”

Jason wasn't usually so friendly with strangers, but all he did was smile and pull Nico inside.

"I'll think about your case.”

Just like that, the gate slammed shut and he turned to see Percy still smiling as he was led down the stairs and then up the elevator.

***

"Gods! What took you so long! I have to wake up early tomorrow." Thalia greeted them at the apartment door, even less pleased than Jason had been.

"You won't believe it. Guess who came to bring Nico home?”

"The president?”

"Even better. Percy Jackson. Co-CEO, financial analyst, and one of the most handsome men and heir to one of the largest fortunes in the country.”

"I know who Percy Jackson is, Jason! Don't be ridiculous.”

"You know, but the question is: does Nico knows it?”

The two turned to Nico and he blushed. Okay, he admitted it. Nico wasn’t into these kind of things…

"Well, I… of course--”

"Nico! I'm so proud of you. You've grown so much!" Thalia ran up to Nico and pulled his cheeks until they looked like they were going to fall off.

"It’s not like that…”

"You have to tell me everything." Jason said, completing his torture. In the end, the two brothers dragged him to the couch and each of them sat next to him. All that was missing was the popcorn.

"It's nothing. It was supposed to be a temporary job through the agency. And he's not all that, just a father taking care of his children.”

"You liar! I saw how he looked at you and I've never seen you act like that with anyone!”

"Oh. My. God! I love weddings. When is it due?" Thalia said again.

"Can you guys stop?" Nico cringed at their stares and snorted. "I swear. I take care of his children and that's it.”

"I'll pretend to believe you." Thalia held his hand, pretending to be understanding. "But tell me, is he everything everyone says he is?”

"What… does everyone say?" He was even afraid to know.

"You know… hot in bed? Is he as dominant as everyone says? Bossy? Generous… monetarily?

"I…" He felt horrible thinking about these things, let alone talking about them, especially when Percy wasn’t there to defend himself. But they were his friends, weren’t they? Maybe if he talked to someone, things would become clearer.

"So?" Jason insisted, as curious as Thalia.

"He's… he's a very reserved person. At least in the beginning. Disciplined. Loyal.”

"And…?”

"And… we never… never got there, but… there are times when…" Nico put his feet up on the couch and buried his face between his legs. "…there are times when he hugs me in a way that… that makes me… oh! I don’t want to talk about it. I have a boyfriend! And he… he’s so…”

"Older?" Thalia finished for him.

"No! I mean, yes! He drives me crazy, in every possible way, and I love kids, they're so sweet. I feel like I'm going to explode!”

"That can't be true. How long have you known them? Two, three weeks?”

"That's enough for me! From the start I knew things would go wrong. How could it not be? After a month of dating, I knew I would never marry Will, so why can't it be true with Percy? And like, why? I feel this attraction, this magnetic thing that forces me to be around him and--”

"Shhh, it's okay. You don't have to decide anything right now. It's okay." Thalia said, trying to comfort him. "And Will? Have you talked to him? I know he's an idiot, but even he doesn't deserve to be betrayed.”

"That's the point!" Nico practically shouted. "We didn't even kiss, nothing at all! How can this be happening to me? Me, the most boring and proper person in the world? I've never even run over a red light!”

"Oh." Both brothers muttered, surprised.

"From what I saw, it seemed much more, intimate, you know?" Jason said quietly into the silence of the room.

"I don't understand. I've just started living without my parents. It's too early! I can't… I can't let anyone hold me back again!”

"Nico, you have to calm down. Come on, I'll get you a glass of water."

"No! I don't want water!" Nico got up from the couch and started pacing around the room, no longer anxious, now irritated. "It's so unfair! Because... because I want it, I feel that this time... this time it's the right person…”

When he realized this, Nico stopped walking around the room and looked at the brothers who were looking at him in surprise. He didn't even know what he was saying anymore. He sat on the floor, right there in the middle of the room, and took a deep breath. Yes, he felt lighter, but on the other hand, he felt even more conflicted. 

In theory, Nico knew what he should do, but his desire was different; it was that little voice that always got him into trouble. It screamed louder than his rationality, telling him that "what if this time it wouldn't be so bad to let himself live, just a little bit?"

In the end, it didn't matter how much they wanted to help him. This was a decision he needed to make on his own.

Chapter XXIII

Nico opened his eyes and for a moment he didn't know where he was. The alarm clock was ringing, it was six o'clock in the morning. He looked around and found it strange, peering through the crack in the window where the weak morning light was coming in. There was no view of trees and the countryside he loved so much, no, all he could see were the tall buildings and the noise of cars passing by on the avenue outside. He turned off that annoying noise, rubbed his eyes and only then could he remember.

It was true, Nico told himself. He wasn’t home. It had been a few weeks since he had packed his bags and snuck out without anyone seeing him, in the dead of night. He still hadn’t gotten used to it. It was the silence of voices and, at the same time, the endless noise of cars, the cozy nights and the support of friends, the understanding he hadn’t known he deserved before this. It was liberating to decide what he was going to do without having to look around for fear of disappointing someone. So, all that was left for Nico to do was get out of bed and face another day; he took a shower, brushed his teeth and put on the first clothes he found, barely looking where he was going, letting his feet carry him.

He stopped for a moment in front of the table and walked into the kitchen, staring at the glass in his hands, the water inside it moving as he stirred it slowly. Nico felt strangely empty; not sad, not angry and not happy at all. It was an absence of emotions that only made him feel relieved.

It must have been the new medication, or maybe it had been the explosion last night. Nico felt calm, calmer than he had ever felt before. He couldn’t be thankful enough for having Thalia and Jason in his life. They had stayed with him a little longer last night, had sat beside him on the living room floor, holding him tightly until his breathing had returned to normal and he had calmed down, though he had spent a long time staring at his hands.

He didn't know what was so important that made him look at them so much or why Jason and Thalia hadn't gone to their own rooms. Nico remembered asking them, feeling light and comfortable, even though he was sitting on that hard, cold wooden floor. The brothers looked at each other and out of the corner of his eye, Nico saw Thalia shrugging. They didn't answer him, they just got up, taking him with them and walked with him to his room, making him sit on the bed and lie down soon after, Jason covering him from chin to feet with the duvet. He had then sighed and closed his eyes, with them still looking at him and observing him with concern.

That was how Nico fell asleep, with their presence and the sound of the door closing as he finally lost consciousness. But now… now--

"Nico, how do you feel?”

Ah, it was Jason. His friend usually went out later than Nico. At that time, Jason would still be asleep, taking advantage of every extra second of sleep he could get. But not today. Today Jason was already up, wearing the same pants as the night before and a rock band t-shirt. He was offering Nico an extra large mug of black, unsweetened coffee, just the way he liked it first thing in the morning.

"Hm?" He asked, accepting the steaming mug. Nico placed the glass of water on the counter and inhaled the aroma of the freshly ground and filtered coffee, taking a big sip and not even realizing when he had burned his tongue.

"Did you sleep well?" Jason repeated.

Nico just smiled, almost feeling himself wake up, warmed by his concern. This was Jason, a full-time psychiatrist, but still in training. If he knew him well, he would have thought Jason would be a great professional. Jason cared more than he should have.

"Yes, thank you. And yes, I'm fine. I've already taken my medicine. And no, I don't feel any symptoms of a panic attack or shortness of breath." Nico said and took another sip of coffee, this time being careful not to burn his tongue. As for Jason, he grimaced and stopped in front of Nico, crossing his arms.

"I worry. I don't want to--”

"Jason, you know I love you. But you don't have to worry." Nico smiled at Jason again and drank the rest of his coffee, watching him blush. It had been a short while since they had reconnected, but he didn't remember Jason being so charming and handsome, a little clumsy, too. He thought he was spending too much time with Percy, but that kind of approach had its advantages. Jason stuttered and blushed more, raising his hands and pointing at Nico, his words trailing off and going nowhere.

"Really. I guess I needed to get it off my chest, you know? It's okay.”

"Nico, the way you acted before… so aggressive… it didn’t seem normal.”

"You know what? I think it was great! I've never felt so free, like nothing could stop me.”

"I know that, I know how difficult it is for you to express yourself. I want you to know that whenever you want, you can talk to me.”

"Jason, you're my best friend. I'm living in your house! Of course I know that. There are things I need to do on my own.”

“I understand that.” Jason repeated, coming around the table and looking at him closely, his bright blue eyes looking at him seriously. “It’s just… you look so small, so vulnerable that you feel like you’ll break with the slightest blow.”

"Jason--”

“I know you're not helpless, you showed that yesterday. You show me that every day that passes by. I want you to know that we're here, Thalia and I, we're here if you need us. How long are you going to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders alone?”

Nico snorted and pushed him lightly by the shoulders.

"Don't be so dramatic. I asked for help, didn't I? So why all the drama?”

"It’s Percy… I’ve never seen you react like this because of someone. With so much… passion.”

"Passion? So you think I'm in love? That I'm going to do crazy things?" He rolled his eyes and turned his back on Jason, going after his backpack. "I already left the house. What else could I do?”

"Something that will get you and Percy into trouble.”

Ah, and they say he's the innocent one, right? It was too late to think about that and it was Jason who didn't see reality.

Nico nodded at Jason, watching his friend’s disgruntled grimace, and picked up his bag. It was best if Jason didn’t know about this. The fewer people who noticed, the better.

***

"Bia, I'm fine. We'll see each other soon.”

"Nico Di Ângelo! Hazel had to go after you to find out what happened with you! What would it take for you to show up? Someone having an accident?" Bianca practically screamed on the other end of the line. "You even changed your cell phone number!”

"Okay, okay! I admit it, I needed some time, okay? I promise I'll visit.”

"You promise?”

“I Do.”

“When?”

"Errr… soon?”

"Nico!”

"I think… on the weekend? We can meet somewhere.”

"Oh." She told him, and on the other end of the line, he could hear her voice fading. "I thought… right. Will you ring me up? Papa is calling me.”

"I'll call you.”

"Remember, you promised.”

The line went dead and he looked at his cell phone, bringing a smile to his face. He confessed, he was being childish, the most selfish of all, petty, even. Seeing Hazel and now Bianca looking for him was all he needed; it was everything he never thought they would do. Nico could hardly believe that he mattered to the point that they would stop what they were doing to talk to him. The only thing missing wasHades showing up at his door.

Feeling his chest warm, Nico took the magnetic card out of his bag and when he was about to unlock the lock, someone grabbed his arm, pulling him under a nearby tree.

"Nico." Someone whispered, finally allowing him to see who this rude person was who had pulled him so hard.

"Not again!" He grumbled in anguish. Of course it was Will showing up uninvited, even taller and more muscular than before, his bright eyes making Nico’s stomach churn with revulsion. Maybe it was anger or anxiety, or maybe it was all of those things mixed together.

"I missed you, shorty." Nico felt hands wrap around him, making him take a step back, avoiding his embrace.

"Will, I was very clear with you.”

"Avoiding me and running away? I don't think so.”

"Will Solace!”

"What?" Will looked at him, finally seeming to pay attention.

"There is nothing between us anymore!”

"What is this? Are you going to throw away all those years because of sex? Because of a fantasy? I don't care. Now that you've had your fun, we can get down to business.”

"Will, I--”

"Look, I know how it is. Every man has the need to try new things, I don't blame you. But what do we have? It's forever.”

Nico was shocked, open-mouthed, astonished, dumbfounded. Will was confessing that he had cheated on him, right to his face?

"Will, I'm going to say it one more time: We're breaking up. We're already broken up. This between us is no longer possible. Do you understand?”

"Oh, come on! Is that what you're mad about? Because of a fuck? They're not important.”

"They? They? Do you realize what you're saying?" Nico paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "Will, you cheated on me. Do you understand? Look, I'm very tired. I hope to never see you again.”

He turned to leave, but again Will grabbed him by the arm, this time pinning him against a tree.

"Is this how you repay me for all these years? Everything I've done for you and your family?”

"I didn't ask you to do it." He replied. But Will was right, Nico didn't say or do anything to deny all the money the Solace family invested inHades's business, even so... he refused... he refused to feel bad about it! He was a child who would do whatever his father told him to do.

"You b--”

It was Will's turn to take a deep breath and calm down. When he spoke again, Will had a smile plastered on his face.

"Look, I know you're confused. There have been so many changes, right? I can wait, give you the time you need.”

"Will, I know about you and Lou. I know you were together before you even met me. How can you do this to me? To him? Don't you care at all?”

"He's just my friend, shorty. You're the only one for me.”

"You-- you're hopeless! If I go to your house now, will he be in your bed? Still sleeping? Or maybe on the couch, the place you both like so much, hm?”

"Did you… did you see?”

"Of course I saw it! I would have to be blind not to see it! Now, if you'll excuse me…”

"Nico, please. I love you. I promise that--”

"I've given you every chance and you keep doing the same things!”

"If you knew, why only now… oh! Is it because of that Percy? Do you think you have more options now? That he’ll stay with you? Someone useless who’s good for anything?" It was then that Will’s smile came back in full force, dimples and white teeth, making Nico's stomach churn even more. "Don’t be ridiculous. Someone like him would never stay with you. I bet he fucks you the way you never let me, doesn’t he? Does he satisfy you? Does he tell you what you want to hear? Have you no shame? A man his age playing house with you?”

Will shook his head and stepped closer.

"It would be horrible if the police got involved. What would happen if people found out that the famous Percy Jackson fucks underage boys?”

"You… you have no way of proving it.”

"That's true, but imagine people's reactions when they found out about the accusations?”

"I… I need some time to think.”

"Oh, of course you do, dear. As long as you want. While you're thinking, how about we go to the movies? This Friday?”

"I leave work late.”

"I know you can make an effort. I'll pick you up here at seven, okay?”

Will smiled once more at Nico and bent down until he was at his height, getting closer and closer and he… he couldn't do it; he turned his face just as Will's lips would touch his, kissing his face.

"It's okay, shorty. I can wait.”

Will touched Nico's hair, stroking it lovingly and stepped back, allowing him to see something that made his stomach turn even more. Percy was there, watching everything, much closer than Nico felt comfortable.

Thanks for reading!

Send me a character and a number and I’ll tell you my headcanons for:

1) Something this character is truly proud of.

2) Who they want to please the most. 

3) Who depends on them. 

4) What they would do if they had one month to live. 

5) A cherished personal belonging. 

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back

7) This character’s favorite character

8) What kind of car they would drive. 

9) What calms them when they are upset. 

10) How they deal with pain. 

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing. 

12) How they sleep. 

13) What kind of parent they would be. 

14) How they did in school

15) What cologne or perfume they would use

16) Their sexuality

17) What they’d sing at karaoke

18) Special talents they have

19) When they feel safest

20) Household chore they hate the most

21) Their fondest childhood memory

22) How they spend their money. 

23) What kind of alcohol they drink

24) What they wish they could change about themselves

25) What other people wish they could change about them

This is the magic lucky word count. Reblog for creativity juice. It might even work, who knows.

are there any aspects of what fanon sometimes assigns as percys personality that you think has less to do with him and more to do with how theyre interpreting his adhd symptoms?

oh yeah, absolutely. without a doubt.

something that tends to happen in the percy jackson fandom is the characters’ adhd is erased – not in that it’s unwritten or untalked about, but in that the fact that they have adhd is completely ignored. rick riordan is one of my favourite writers, he holds a special place in my heart, because not only is he among the only authors i know of to actually write adhd characters, but he writes them with realistic adhd. so it really bothers me when people are like “oh, percy’s so annoying, he’s stupid, he’s an asshole, blah blah blah” because it takes me back to the days when people would say that about me to my face. 

like, take annoying for example: percy’s impulsive and he blurts out what he’s thinking a lot of the time without any sort of tact. he also makes a lot of immature jokes, and i think people translate that into percy himself being immature (keep in mind this is the same percy that has seen his friends die, seen people die, seen two major wars, fallen into tartarus, lost his memory as well as seven months of his 16-year-old life… the list goes on).

now, let me tell you, that part of percy’s behaviour is certifiably adhd. i just Say Shit all the time – i crack dumb jokes right when they come to mind and sometimes people laugh but sometimes i feel mortified seconds later because jesus christ those words just came out of my mouth??? and i got called out on it a lot, too, like “eilidh that isn’t funny” like i fuckin know it’s not funny you don’t have to remind me. “eilidh stop being so immature” pardon me for trying to stay lighthearted in times of crisis okay my adhd brain doesn’t like ruminating on things that make it sad that’s why i never do my math homework ever

then there’s the whole percy is stupid thing. he’s just not. i don’t know where people even got that idea. he’s not very good at communicating with people, but he’s good at piecing together information and thinking on his feet. he notices things, like in camp jupiter one of the things he does is piece together the whole “missing eagle” thing from a bunch of offhand comments. 

finally, the general misconception that percy is an asshole.

yikes.

this is the same kid that immediately forms attachments to the underdogs in any situation he happens to be in (some examples, in sequence: grover, his mom, tyson, ethan nakamura, hazel and frank) and proceeds to be 1000% willing to actually fight anyone who picks on them (nancy bobofit, smelly gabe, matt sloan and half of camp half blood, luke and an entire arena of monsters, octavian). 

also backtracking a bit to the whole “he’s not very good at communicating with people” thing – since when does that make someone an asshole? percy’s never really aware of what people think about him (but he’s good at noticing how they feel about other people), and he’s generally surprised by people’s opinions of himself if they contrast with how he feels about himself, like he sees himself as this chill dude that stuff just happens to all the time and he just rolls with it, just about everyone is like what the fuck percy jackson is fucking terrifying and dangerous as shit and he acts like it’s normal what the fuck and he’s like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

that’s also a pretty adhd thing to do, if you’re busy you don’t really tend to think about yourself and how you come across because it’s just background information. like when i’m reading and someone tries to talk to me i’m the bluntest fuck because i don’t have the parallel processing capacity to be polite and keep up the reading hyperfocus at the same time. since percy’s literally almost dying so much of the time (something that often gets overlooked because of how much it ties into the worldbuilding of being a demigod; it’s just not that huge to them. it’s a casual enough thing to be experiencing near-death so often that percy jokes about it – “don’t worry, i’m usually about to die”) i can absolutely forgive him for overlooking other people sometimes. wouldn’t you?

which brings me to the only-thinking-about-annabeth-in-tartarus thing in the context of parallel processing issues.

jesus.

okay, i have about 2 focus slots in my brain. 3 on a really good day. i can only juggle 2-3 bits of information at once in my short-term memory, and i have to drop one or both of them if i feel like reminiscing. percy, while in tartarus, is in a hyper-fixated state of trying to keep himself and annabeth alive – let’s assume the rest of his brain is being used to keep morale up. i’m not surprised he’s only thinking about annabeth and i didn’t even question it: annabeth is right there. she’s immediately relevant and he cares about her a whole fuckin lot, right? he doesn’t have the parallel processing capacity to be thinking about everyone else, he’s focused on the problem at hand: getting both of them out alive. sorry he can’t call his mom from literal greek hell.

also, in mark of athena, i see people like “he doesn’t even think about nico in the jar!” and like, that bothers me too because i love nico, but the only person on the argo 2 that was openly worrying about nico was hazel. they were all worried, but worrying about nico wouldn’t have made the ship go any faster, and they were constantly being distracted by monster attacks. when percy actually got to the hypogeum in rome, he started freaking out about whether or not nico was alive because he was right there, looking an awful lot like he wasn’t alive. after all goes well and they’re back on the ship, percy realizes he was so caught up in the nico thing that he forgot annabeth was still fighting for her life down in arachne’s lair. and he feels guilty, but that’s all actually normal. 

adhd brains can be weird, or so i’ve garnered, because i’ve never lived without one. it’s hard for me to look at percy from the perspective of someone without adhd who doesn’t understand what it’s like to live with it. i’ve been able to relate to percy since i was 11, and i’m used to being on the receiving end of all the hate he gets because people mistake his adhd traits for personality traits or for riordan being a “quirky” writer. i’ve mostly become indifferent to it by now – i just ignore people who are like “percy is stupid and a jerk”, but that doesn’t really make it any less insensitive.

i see the same thing happen to leo all the damn time too, for the same reasons. notice how they’re both of the characters with the most obvious adhd?

both percy and leo have character flaws, but that just means they’re realistic people?? like jfc. everyone has flaws, that’s inescapable, but behavioural patterns that are given to both of them by their mental disorders shouldn’t be counted under “things these characters choose to do or be”. 

some traits of percy’s that are not an effect of his adhd include his loyalty, his protectiveness, his tendency to trust his instincts over logic, his lightheartedness, his changeability, his self-importance, his wanting to be included in everything, his irreverence, his adaptability, his good heart, his bravery, his self-sacrificial nature, his brightness, and his recklessness.

LET ME LIVE MY SAD GAY LIFE WITHOUT FUELING IT (/j please keep us percico fed)

Eat up 🌊☠️