Was There Ever Another Choice?

Aventurine WIP that I want to finish soon(ish)

I finally have some time to draw and i have so many wips and ideas but I'm gonna try to actually focus on 1 piece for a bit and finish it 🥲

If you blink, the joke will be gone :P

A rambling analysis of Ivan's "Nowhere"

I'll start with my thoughts on the song itself, then break down some of the lyrics.

So, "Nowhere" is quite a bit different from Ivan's other songs, mostly in regards to the melody and his singing. His voice is a lot more... flat, and the pitch and length of the notes vary a lot less. In "Cure" and "Black Sorrow," there's a lot more variance: Ivan's voice goes from soft and low, singing shorter notes, to louder and higher, holding long notes, et cetera.

In Nowhere, the notes are typically shorter, and tend to stay in the same general area on the scale. Ivan's tone stays very consistent; in his other songs, it goes from calm and collected to full of emotion and feelings. He sounds a lot more monotone in Nowhere, and not just because he's singing quietly. He's not entirely apathetic; there's still a lot of emotion in his voice. But it's muted. Numb.

The only line that lacks this somewhat monotone, apathetic tone is "In love with you, when you were mine." This line is EVERYWHERE, and plays in the background of the ENTIRE TRACK.

And all of this kind of makes sense. "Black Sorrow" and "Cure" were both declarations of Ivan's love, and his feelings for Till. They were meant to be heard; they were meant to have an audience in Till. Ivan was projecting his emotions outwards.

"Nowhere" was not meant to be heard by anyone but Ivan himself—not even Till. It represented Ivan's internal thoughts, ones he would never say to anyone else—sort of how like someone might find certain things about a friend or significant other annoying, but choose not to say anything despite thinking it. Ivan is tired, and perhaps even a bit annoyed. He's wondering why Till doesn't return his feelings, and likely, wondering why he himself continues to love Till despite that.

Now, onto the lyrics (English translation b/c my Korean is awful):

That's just the kind of kid he is, so laugh Laugh, because he can't do anything No one cares about someone like him There's nowhere in the world for him to rest

It's been stated (see image below) that Ivan feels like he cannot be loved—that he's undeserving of it, or just doesn't have the qualifications. These lyrics are Ivan speaking about himself. Ivan is unable to get Till to return his feelings ("no one cares about someone like him"), and he is also, ultimately, unable to save Till ("Laugh, because he can't do anything"). To make this second thing worse, it happened not once, but TWICE: first when Ivan couldn't get Till to leave with him, and then when his actions in Round 6 ended up seemingly being for nothing in Round 7.

Another bit of the lyrics is as such:

Worse and worse this painful wound I become more and more numb

Ivan is slowly becoming more and more apathetic, and resigned to his fate, saying that "this always happens to me." Even the song's title is a reference to this: there's nowhere for Ivan to find solace, and all of "this" is going nowhere—"this" being Ivan's relationship with Till. Ivan is resigned to his fate of loving Till—almost certainly more than he loves himself—un"till" the end: until death.

MAJOR 2.1 (PART 3) TRAILBLAZE QUEST SPOILERS, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK GAMBLE

the feeling when you're so invested in your character that your nervous systems become one and you feel everything:

for context this was during Camden Sutkowski's (Aventurine's EN voiceactor) stream of the 2.1 trailblaze quest

his voiceacting is peak because he BECAME aventurine /hj

(but for real he is SOOO good, AND IT'S HIS FIRST TIME VOICEACTING??!??!?! I looked him up to see what he did before and was relieved to find that he was an actor for live action stuff, because if this was also this man's first acting role I would have actually died of shock—)

jokes aside I love voiceactors reacting to the final product / the culmination of their work it's so wholesome, and honestly any person who worked on something—like someone who did music finally seeing the animation that accompanies it, or someone who animates the linework seeing the fully colored final animation with audio and all, it's so beautiful in a way to see the results of everyone's combined efforts

same reason I tear up a bit sometimes when seeing live concerts of music or big musicals with a huge cast, it's so cool how every single person contributes and fits seamlessly into the whole

like... like HARMONY AHAHHAAHAHA XIPE IS THAT YOU???

I JUST NOTICED THIS DETAIL IM FREAKING OUT

When Arle is sad abt her spider dying her curse acts up and her hands get darker, then they become less dark until they're almost entirely normal when she's with Clervie, but once Clervie dies they blacken again and the markings, long nails, and red nails show up

Also maybe she made her title "Father" so she wouldn't have to hear herself referred to with the same title as the previous Knave who killed the person who was seemingly her only friend

💙.

do you have any more art of your oc? i love his design. (also what's his name?)

YAAA,, his name (i actually dont decide his name frfr so i just stick to the old one ehe) Samuel Ash, when i created him, he's like a typical assassin but right now his lore is too complicated idek how to start (idk how to write it too ToT ) ... He's my OC from,, like 2015 i think HE WENT THRU A LOT OF CHANGES in my book... imma show u some of em :3

my banner :3

these r some of old drawings of him (the last ones are him in a guise haha,, i should draw him more digitally tho... i usually doodle him in a book ;_;)

btw (if u interested :3) THESE ARE MY OTHER OC.. i did around 2020!!! i lowkey wanna post more about them someday... i have A LOTTTTT OF THEM ARTSSS <33333

!!!!!!?????????

※this picture can be repost and use as a meme as long as it doesn't getting claimed as your own credit※

doodled this post bc i just had to, this happened for sure off camera right

salon solitaire moment

(my twitter)

Sorrow causes you to waver