Badweatherbartender

golf sucks but mini golf is fucking awesome....truly one of life's great paradoxes

blocking people who think you owe them an argument is SO sexy, and so fulfilling. try it if you haven't!

every time you make freezer food for dinner instead of buying takeout like you actually want you should earn two hundred dollars cash and a round of applause

Yknow another reason I love Corvosider is just imagining Corvo falling in love with someone else WAY outta his station.

Like first this man falls for an Empress and then falls for a god? And then they fall for him back?!

Corvo seriously has game and you cannot tell me otherwise. I mean even Delilah says he's hot.

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

"Congratulations on Level 5, [Wizard]! You've officially been upgraded from 'liability' to 'glass cannon'!"

A while ago, some people asked me to explain D&D and other RPGs… so of course I had to make it into an infographic!

This is by no means a comprehensive guide. The game can be as simple or complex as you want, but there ARE some pre-established basics you should know about - and those are best discovered on your own terms!

Some resources to help you get started: 

Watch/listen:

★ Rusty Quill Gaming Podcast - a ttrpg game in the Pathfinder system. Beginner friendly! Learn how to play along with the players!

★ Critical Role - a D&D game played by voice actors - Incredibly famous! Highly praised! Both videos and podcasts available.

★ The Adventure Zone - a TTRPG podcast by the McElroy brothers

Read/learn the rules:

📚 D&D 5e Player’s Handbook - pdf

📚 Basic Introduction to Character Races - website

📚 Overview of Character Classes - website

How-to and Tutorials:

🎲 Rolling a character - YouTube video

🎲 How combat works - YouTube video

🎲 Being a good player - YouTube video

And last but not least…

How To Play D&D Online! - YouTube Video

***

Of course, there are tons of other resources - endless writeups, dozens of YouTube videos and blogposts, and entire subreddits dedicated to this information. The important thing is to take things one at a time. Or not - just dive right in! Most seasoned D&D players are thrilled when others want to join them on their adventures and will be happy to help a new player find their tabletop legs.