Whimsy Is A Survival Skill Stop Training It Out Of Your Kids!!! How Are They Gonna Make It When Shit

it warms my heart to know that ancient Romans would travel to more-ancient Greece and then get mad that it wasn't like it was in Homer/Plato/Aristotle & complain back home that Greece sucked to visit

Your body must be rested and fed if you wish to be a pervert.

FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth

update: those people hired me

today at my internship the literal words “i love efficiency” came out of my mouth in front of people i want to hire me in the future

jumped in excitement without thinking when mythbusters made the tennis volley on the airplane, hit my hand pretty hard on my ceiling fan

good thing i also just watched the “fans can decapitate you” myth get busted 😬

By the way, It Could Happen Here and Behind the Bastards are great podcasts by Robert Evans and friends.

inspired by the scariest words my dm has ever said to me and the subsequent coolest (AND SCARIEST) scene of my life

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted