Chapter 7.0 ☆ The Lock And Key Theory

chapter 0.5 ☆ first light

ss: 19

cw: a whole bunch of time skips (divider between time jumps), mentions of injuries, mentions of food

a/n: catch up chapter which is turning out to be longer than expected

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a/n: I am a strong believer that bang chan is a '😂' warrior

taglist (5/50): @sunfk88 @estella-novella @boo-ven9eance @0sunshinecryptid0 @idiotmaterial

chapter 10.0 ☆ all in

wc: 5,115

cw: swearing, needles, little bit of blood, crying, science talk

a/n: *throws my genetics special interest at you and runs away* (this is not the end)

I promise this is not as angsty as the warnings make out to be haha

I was going to get this out earlier but I got my period and got sick at the same time so I've been completely wiped out... rip

"we know."

of course. of course. well, that solved one problem... sort of. not really. but it definitely made it a whole lot easier.

yn glanced down at their knee, exposed but framed by some hot pink kt tape with a barbie hot wheels pattern, before looking back up at the trio, nodding tersely. "... yeah." they muttered, leaning against the doorframe, gently scratching bingus's fluffy butt.

their soul mark wasn't completely there yet, but it was more readable than it had been in the last 11 years. it was strangely satisfying, watching it come back together. yn had spent some time examining it after their encounter with minho and seungmin a week ago, seeing how the pieces had fit back into place. it didn't hurt, it felt... odd. a light but annoyingly noticeable sensation under their skin. itchy, the kind of itchy that you couldn't get at.

"who's at the door?" minji called out from back in the apartment.

yn looked back over their shoulder at their friends, grimacing a little as bingus dug his claws into their shoulder to prevent falling off, and definitely made it known that he wasn't happy with their movement.

it really was good timing... just, not so great at the same time if the trio hadn't wanted to be seen by anyone else. yn sighed quietly, pinching their brow. "just... come in, I guess..." they said wearily.

this late in the evening was not the time for thinking very deeply. they could already feel a headache forming. maybe that was just from the stress-induced jaw clenching that had started up again today. thinking about how to break it to your best friend that you'd been hiding a major secret from him for almost a decade was... definitely not the easiest.

the vibe was awkward. not really the relaxed lego building session it once was – although, how relaxed it was in the current situation was debatable. chika, ever the unflappable, took it in her stride like a champ.

"oh my god, hii," she said, smiling and waving at hyunjin. "it's good to see you again."

hyunjin looked a little surprised for a second, but returned the action with a small grin. the three newcomers stood close together just inside the entryway, like something would bite if they moved any further in. that something would probably be bingus, so maybe it was smart.

seungmin was somewhat calm, hands in pockets as he looked discreetly around the apartment – and suddenly, yn was very aware of the pile of laundry taking up a good amount of the couch, the dishes next to the sink, and the ripped curtains, courtesy of one of bingus's catnip induced zoomies sessions, doing their best to cover the full length window.

hyunjin wasn't so composed. at first glance, he might have seemed it, but the way he was shifting on his feet and fiddling with his flat cap told a different story.

and minho? he was staring straight at yn, assessing them in a way that made them feel like he could see their soul. they hadn't bothered to put much effort in this evening, just a random sonic shirt and some sleep shorts. now yn was wishing that they'd has some premonitory sense and at least worn some proper clothes. it was unsettling, to say the least, his sharp eyes piercing them right to the core. 

"the timing is... truly impeccable," minji said, an amused but mildly baffled expression on her face. she shot a smirk in yn's direction, raising her eyebrows as if to say 'go on' and sat back in her chair, crossing her muscley arms. she was enjoying this immensely. 

"so you figured it out, then?" yn asked quietly, leaning back against their kitchen counter.

"i think the fact that my skin wouldn't stop itching where you touched me for two hours after you left sold it for me," minho said, matter-of-factly. 

"ah. well. that'll do it." yn still didn't completely believe that their soul mark could just change like that at the touch of a soulmate, but the evidence was right in front of their eyes, as much as they were reluctant to believe it. however, they supposed, soul marks in and of themselves were a crazy phenomenon, so was this really anything to be so surprised about? weird miracles of the natural world.

"who are...?" minho trailed off, glancing at yn's friends.

"oh, um. minji and chika," yn replied, pointing at both of them in turn. "my friends. hyunjin's already met chika at a versace event."

"so you're the friend he was talking about," he murmured. "i was right."

"what?"

"nothing."

it seemed minji just couldn't hold it in anymore, and began snickering to herself, the hand in front of her mouth doing absolutely nothing to hide it. not that she was trying to – she was absolutely loving this. chika was less obvious about it, but the expression on her face and the way she was twirling her fork in her hands had a certain air about it.

yn elected to ignore the both of them, rolling their eyes. "why did you bring hyunjin?"

"testing the theory."

well, yn had to respect that. it definitely gave him points in their book. they were all for the scientific method.

"that's fair..." yn leaned back into the edge of the counter as bingus hopped off their shoulders and onto the top. he sat next to them emanating a distinctly superior energy, giving the three men intruding on his property an appraising look. despite his demeanour, yn knew that he viewed every stranger as a new friend, and it would only be a matter of time before he began fawning over them, purring and rubbing all over them like they were covered in catnip. bingus was a weirdly social cat. 

"so, uh..." yn held their hand out to hyunjin. "you wanna test it..?" it wasn't like they didn't already know, but just to cement it, properly. it was really more for everyone else.

hyunjin's gaze immediately dropped to the floor with a bashful expression. for someone who exuded so much confidence on stage, he sure was shy off it. he took a few steps closer, until he was in arms reach, extending his hand out.

the tension in the air was so thick you could almost feel it hanging there. even bingus didn't make a sound, just watching, in opposition to his usual chatty self.

their fingers were just about to touch, but-

"wait."

minji's arm shot out, grabbing hyunjin's wrist at lightening speed. yn made eye contact with her, and they knew they were both thinking the same thing.

"what's going on?" hyunjin asked, a confused furrow forming in his brow.

yn groaned. "dr jang would kill me if I didn't..." they muttered, before darting off further into their apartment in a speed walk.

when they came back, yn was juggling a few things in their hands.

"why the fuck do you have microfuges in your apartment?" minji asked, in what was probably a suitable amount of bemusement. even for the most avid of researchers, it wasn't exactly common to have lab equipment hanging out around your home.

"cuz." yn shrugged, setting down the little rack and placing the microfuges into the slots. "my dad got them for me before I started uni. and a micropipette. real shockingly, I've never used them before."

"what would you even use them for...?" minji blinked in a stupefied manner, before shaking her head. "speaking of... has your dad come around yet?"

yn grimaced. "you'd think, after five years. we talked about it last time I visited... wasted about two hours because apparently the literal fact that sex and gender aren't the same is 'dogma' or something. i've sent him several links to the studies proving it, but... he hasn't responded." pulling the cap off a marker, they numbered the tops of the microfuges, chewing their bottom lip. 

"oof." there wasn't really much else to say. yn had a perfectly fine relationship with their parents other than that... usually. most of the time, yn could forget about the way their parents refused to accept them, but every so often the topic resurfaced and ate at them a little more.

yn pulled out a needle from where they'd stuck it through their shirt, gesturing at minji. "can you- thanks." they mumbled, catching the lighter chucked at them with ease.

"... what are you doing?" minho asked.

"dr jang in my department... she researches soul marks and stuff. i'm pretty sure she'd skin me alive if i didn't get a record of this." it took yn... more than a few tries to get the lighter working. they were never that good at things like that, but eventually they managed to get it working and ran the flame under the needle to sterilize it. "and, like... i get this is a whole thing, but i'm also scared of her, and considering she's never even heard of someone's soul mark remaking itself, i don't think she'd be a massive fan of me if i didn't get some evidence."

"you say that like she doesn't love you," minji said. "you're one hundred percent her favourite colleague."

"to be fair... there isn't much choice," yn said, clearing their throat pointedly. a lot of their fellow professors were a bit... snobby was a way to put it. most of them were older men, who seemed to think they were god's gift to humanity, and demanded respect just because of their age and gender while giving none of their own. sure, they had more experience, but that didn't necessarily mean they were right.

yn was just about to use the needle to draw some blood, when bingus chose that exact moment to make his presence known, throwing his head back with a yowl. "ugh. pest." yn set the needle down, plodding over to the cupboard that housed their multitude of pills and supplements. but first, treats. bingus demanded to be fed at the same time every day, so it was easy to use him as an alarm – give him a treat every day at the same time you took your meds, and you were never allowed to miss them.

"there you go, squish," yn murmured affectionately after shaking out a couple of treats for their cat, stroking down his back. bingus accepted them greedily, wolfing them down while purring loudly.

swapping the treat bag for their pill container, yn sat back down at the table, using their soda to swallow the tablets.

seungmin took that moment to speak up for the first time that night. "that's... a lot."

yn huffed. it was true, they took a lot of medication, but it was for a reason. "if my body was a temple, that temple would be old and crumbling."

"... is that why you have greys already?"

it wasn't like they weren't expecting it. yn's grey streaks still hadn't been re-dyed yet because life had gotten in the way so the roots were showing, and they had a number of grey hairs dotted around their scalp. they'd also seen enough stray kids content to know the amount of old person jokes seungmin made. but this quickly? damn. "um. well. maybe. i think it's just stress and genetics. i promise i'm not that ancient."

seungmin raised an eyebrow, pursing his lips subtly, and cocking his hip to lean against the counter. it was annoyingly attractive.

in a moment of weakness, yn poked their tongue out at him petulantly, before promptly choking on their magnesium supplement. that one always had it out for them, anyway.

by the time it finally went down yn had tears in their eyes and an awful, powdery taste in their mouth.

"having fun there?" chika asked, giggling quietly in a way that yn couldn't even be mad at.

"actually shut the fuck up."

yn winced as they stuck the needle into the tip of their middle finger, before squeezing a few drops of blood into the first microfuge. there were probably better ways to do it, but yn didn't know how or have the equipment for it. a little rudimentary, but anything to save themselves from the wrath of their colleague. 

"you're very calm about this," hyunjin mumbled, looking warily at the needle.

"i've had about 50 blood tests, i'm used to it," yn responded. "should i get saliva samples...? mm.. no, i don't have the patience for that. alright." stretching their arms above their head, yn couldn't help but let out a little groan as their back popped and shoulder clunked concerningly – and notice how hyunjin's eyes darted down to their exposed midriff. they extended their hand to him for a second time. "let's do this."

hyunjin's hand was warm. soft. big. static shocks were swapped between both of their palms as hyunjin tightened his grip. gentle, but firm.

yn felt... odd. the other times, it was in passing. this time it was a thing. they could feel it happening, feel the slight tingle running over their knee, feel how close he was. they squirmed gently in their chair, their eyes darting from their intertwined hands, to their knee, to anywhere else.

out of the corner of their eye, yn could see chika trying to sneakily film the interaction. she wasn't very good at hiding it. maybe it was a good thing. to get more evidence for dr jang.

looking down at their knee again, yn watched their soul mark change for the first time. they almost couldn't believe it, but... there it was. right there. sure, their eyesight was pretty trash but it was pretty hard to deny it like when it was like that.

"woah... that's..." hyunjin looked how yn felt: completely stupefied. it was one thing seeing their mark after the change, but seeing it happen? wild.

"... yeah," yn breathed out. there was no denying it now. the secret was well and truly out. and honestly? it was kind of a relief. yn hadn't realized just how much it had been weighing on them until now. maybe seven years of repression wasn't good for you. who knew? "what... happens now?"

"i think you should come back with us. meet everyone else... we've been waiting to meet you."

"oh i should, should i?" yn asked, letting go of hyunjin's hand and reaching for the needle again. "i... i'm not sure... i have work tomorrow... and bingus... i can't leave him alone..."

"oh, come off it," minji groaned, her exasperation evident. "pack an overnight bag. chika and i can stay here and watch your baby. you've put it off for too long, i'll force you out myself if i have to."

"i-..." yn sighed. an overnight bag? how long would they be staying there? a while, realistically. when it happened, it was going to be a long, uncomfortable conversation, about uncomfortable things – about why they had felt the need to hide for so long from the people that were meant to love them most.

yn glanced over at their friends, at chika's encouraging smile, and minji's insistent expression. if they really wanted to do this, like they said they did, then they had to face the music. "... fine."

everything was in order. kind of. yn had their overnight bag, although there was bound to be at least one thing they forgot, like always. it was inevitable. but it was really happening.

"okay, you can sleep in my bed if you want just-... no freaky stuff." yn gave both girls a pointed look.

"hey! we're not that bad," chika protested.

"i still have stains on my couch." that shut them up. "you know the drill with bingus – he will bite your toes under the covers, if you don't get up to give him food in the morning he will make it your problem, and you know the coffee machine- yeah, you can work it, fine... stay safe. lock the door. everything else."

"it'll be fine," minji reassured them, patting yn on the shoulder. "you don't need to worry about us. go get your guys."

"mm," yn hummed. "but if i find any more weird stains on my furniture, you're buying me new ones. freaks."

"yeah, but we're your favourite freaks," chika said with a wink.

"whatever helps you sleep at night." yn turned to minho (who was currently getting his fingers gnawed on by a very happy bingus), hyunjin and seungmin, trying to work out in their head who would fit best in their extra set of motorbike leathers. technically, they fit chan the best, but those with astute observational abilities could tell that he wasn't here right now. and since two of them were probably too tall, that left minho to go on the bike with them.

they chucked the set at him, which he caught deftly before minho's brain caught up with his hands. he examined them for a moment, holding them up to himself in mild confusion.

"to preface, i'm simply not going in a car, but I also don't fully trust myself to get to a new address alone because i am... directionally challenged."

"do i really need to wear these?" minho asked skeptically.

"do you want a nurse to be picking gravel out of you?" yn asked brightly. "you can be slightly warm and uncomfortable, or unsafe. pick your poison."

sensibly, minho chose to wear the leathers.

"... you good?" yn asked minho as they sat on their bike in the parking garage, inputting the address for the dorms into their phone before zipping into one of their pockets.

minho was... antsy, clipping and unclipping the buckle of the strap on yn's spare helmet. he'd been much more confident about going on the bike with them earlier, in the apartment. currently, he was eyeing it like it would bite him. yn got it to an extent, the first time they'd realised they actually had to ride one, it was pretty daunting. it wasn't like he actually had to do anything, though. just hold on and help in case yn got lost. but right now, he was the one looking lost.

yn stood up off the bike, taking the helmet gently out of minho's hands and fitting it over his head and doing up the strap for him. "comfortable?"

he nodded, searching them with his big, pretty eyes. it wasn't intense, per say, but yn's breath hitched when they caught his gaze, flicking the visor down over his eyes to avoid becoming even more flustered. yn knew that being his soulmate would come with... increased susceptibility to him, but they'd only met minho twice. goddamn.

swinging their leg over the bike, yn sat back down and pulled their own helmet over their head – of course it was matching with the rest of their gear, with cat ears and sanrio decals, because of course.

"uh... you know you have to sit behind me to ride..." minho slid on behind them, and yn could feel the awkwardness radiating from him in waves. "and, um.. hold on to my waist..."

ever so carefully, minho rested his hands around yn's middle. they almost laughed at how light his touch was, knowing it wouldn't remain that way for too long. 

"how are you going to know where to go?" minho asked, his voice slightly muffled.

"my helmet has a bluetooth thing that i can hear directions though. hold on tight," yn warned.

luckily, he heeded their warning as soon as the bike started up, his grip maybe a tad too snug. at least he wouldn't be falling off.

the drive was pretty short, which was a bit of a relief when minho was squeezing yn like a stress ball. he seemed glad to be back on solid ground by the time it was over. seemed... dramatic, but the way he tripped and fell taking off the leathers, and the embarrassed look on his face made yn promise themselves to not tell anyone. for now.

when yn finally walked into the dorm with minho, everything went quiet. not just quiet – dead silent.

yn's heart was pounding against their ribs as everyone turned to look at them from their various positions sprawled out over the couch and the floor. hyunjin and seungmin had arrived there before minho and yn. it was incredibly daunting, having all their eyes on them all at once, and they couldn't help but to fidget anxiously with the hem of their shirt, softly tapping the toe of their shoe against the floor as they leaned against their cane.

"um. hi," yn forced out, their voice hoarse. 

a small gasp came from across the room, deafeningly loud in the quiet space. "are you our..?" felix's voice trailed off, his big brown eyes wide and hopeful.

yn had to swallow down the frog in their throat before they could respond. "i... yes. i am."

yn blinked and felix was in front of them, almost vibrating with excitement. his eyes roamed over their face, drinking in the sight.

they hadn't really known what to expect when it finally happened, but it wasn't... this. a part of yn had always wondered if the first thing people saw about them was the cane, or the tape holding their joints together. to be completely fair, they did make it kind of obvious, with bright colours and patterns, eyes were naturally drawn to that kind of thing – but so was the rest of yn's attire, usually, and their hair. but it seemed like felix's eyes were glued to just... them.

felix reached out hesitantly, his hands hovering in front of yn, but not touching. his throat bobbed as he pulled back slightly, a small, apologetic smile gracing his features.

yn couldn't help but shyly return the smile, before they found themselves being ushered further into the forms and sat onto the end of the couch, everyone else keeping a respectful distance. although, despite the distance, it didn't stop most of them from staring shamelessly.

in lieu of any actual conversation, yn reached into their bag, the keychains attached jingling and clacking against each other, and pulled out their little box of microfuges. they set it on the coffee table along with the needle and lighter.

"sorry about your laptop," changbin muttered sheepishly from beside them. 

yn snorted, unable to hold it back. even now, he was still apologetic about the incident. technically, it had been kind of a big thing – laptops were expensive, and a pretty necessary part of their life... but, then again, he'd rectified it almost as quickly as he'd caused the problem. "it's fine. really."

"you've met before?" jisung piped up, his voice muffled through a mouthful of ramen.

"yeah. he, uh... spilled three drinks over my old laptop. and me."

"did you manage to get the stain out of your trousers?" changbin asked, fidgeting with his chopsticks.

"it took a few goes with the stain remover, but... they're fine now. which is good, because they're my favourite, and if it hadn't come out i might have gone through chan to be reimbursed," yn joked, before they saw his flustered blush get darker. "i'm kidding. i could have replaced them myself. i stain my clothes all the time, it's not a big deal."

"... how many of us have met you before?" jisung asked, furrowing his brows.

"well, we met them through... the cat thing," seungmin said, looking at minho.

"it was the video call for me," hyunjin mumbled, looking vaguely embarrassed.

"i've known chan for, like... fifteen years," yn added after some quick mental maths. time really flew by.

"how old are you?" jeongin asked.

"i just turned twenty nine."

"damn." jeongin cleared his throat, looking away and scratching the back of his neck. "sorry."

"so..." jisung shoved a lettuce leaf into his mouth before continuing, his cheeks puffing up with food. "it's just me, felix and ayen who haven't met you yet?"

yn hummed contemplatively, tilting their head to the side. "i've been in contact with jeongin before. at the dentist. not a proper meeting, though."

"really?" it took a few seconds, but realisation dawned soon enough. "oh. with the hair. right," jeongin said, gesturing at his fringe, more to himself than anyone else.

"and, i'm fairly confidant on this..." yn pulled out their phone, snapping a quick picture of their hand before messaging it to what they were almost certain was jisung's number-

-and it was, his phone vibrating half a second later. jisung's eyes bulged out of his head for a few moments as he glanced between his screen and yn's hand repeatedly. 

"how do you have jisung's number?" felix asked.

"oh, i... thought i was texting someone else. she changed her number." yn trained their eyes on the little racks on microfuges, absentmindedly drumming their fingers against their thighs. "and then he said his name was jisung, and he was twenty four and fate had been giving me a kick up the ass so... i kind of thought it would end up like that."

"ah." he nodded slowly. "... what are those for?"

"science stuff," seungmin answered for yn.

"well... yeah, i guess. i'm collecting dna samples for my colleague." yn turned to felix with what was probably a slightly constipated expression and took a breath before asking the question. "can i, um. touch you?"

felix's face went pink. there was a lot of that going around recently. his face didn't move a muscle, he just sat there for a few seconds with a politely mystified expression while his face went several shades darker. 

yn ran through their words in their head. "not- not like that. for the... science stuff. and also it's making my soul mark fix itself? somehow? i'm not sure how that's happening, but it is, and..."

another few excruciating seconds ticked by, before felix's face split into an endearing grin, his eyes sparkling. "you want to hold my hand?"

"i mean, if you're comfortable with that," yn mumbled, taken aback by his enthusiasm.

felix proffered his hand, and yn took it gently, trying not to stare at his arms like a creep. they were nice arms. from a purely anatomical perspective, of course. he had nice veins. they bet nurses liked him.

getting the dna evidence while working around felix's hand holding was fiddly, but he wasn't letting go any time soon. and yn didn't want to ask him to let go, either. not that they would admit it. they had forgotten how much they enjoyed doing this kind of thing. of course, they did it with chika and minji sometimes; yn and their friends were touchy people. but this was different. more... intimate.

yn's first physical interaction with jisung was much more short-lived, and accidental at that. he reached over to grab his drink, yn went to put the microfuge back in its slot – skin brushed skin, and the two of them locked eyes. jisung blinked, and pulled away as a static shock passed between their fingers. he let out a melodramatic cry, his head falling back into hyunjin's lap, who moved a hand to pat his head with a nonchalance that showed that this wasn't an infrequent occurrence.

"so... you said all of this is a genetic thing?" minho spoke up.

"oh, yeah. they're still not sure what causes it, but... it's different for each group of soulmates, and polygenic if you have more than one soulmate, which is what makes it hard so to study-"

"-polygenic?" jeongin asked.

"caused by multiple genes. but, you know, people are people and have attributed meaning to what they couldn't figure out and given it superstitions and so on. there's... more going on behind it, like something about it makes you produce more oxytocin and stuff around your soulmates. the term is kind of a misnomer."

"wow... you really know how to suck the magic out of it..." seungmin said.

"dude. besides the fact that the marks have our initials, which... like i'm not sure how to feel about that, but either way you look at it, it's kind of insane – do you not see the magic in the way somehow, everything fit so perfectly together to create life? in the way we evolved to have genes that randomly mutated to have random people connected so deeply? just because it's not what you thought it was doesn't make it not special." yn paused their ramble once they realised they were being stared at.

"you have no appreciation for science." they said, fixing seungmin with a blank stare. "science is magic. it doesn't stop being magic because you can explain it." so soulmates weren't technically this big supernatural be-all end-all of love. big whoop. but with the way it made people feel around their soulmates? it might as well be.

"well... that's-" minho was cut off by the sound of the front door to the dorms opening.

everyone turned to see chan walking in through the door, dragging a suitcase with the strap of his other bag hanging off one shoulder. against all odds, he managed to not notice the congregation in the lounge, trudging off into his own room.

it was a few minutes before he re-emerged in a fresh set of clothes, looking just about ready to fall asleep while his stomach growled comically loudly.

when chan finally noticed yn, he stopped in his tracks, standing completely still, like time had suddenly frozen him in place.

and it felt like it had for yn, too. all their denial, all that time spent wallowing in their own pathetic feelings of inadequacy, had let up to this moment.

yn forgot how to breathe when chan finally looked down at the soul mark on their knee, finally looking as it once did back when they were seventeen. readable. obvious as to who their soulmates were.

"yn..." chan said in a rough whisper.

yn stood up shaking, clenching their trembling hands into fists. "chan, i..."

they didn't know how to finish the sentence, but it didn't matter, because they were engulfed in chan's arms a few moments – something that had always been a catalyst for the release of strong emotions, and it was still true now, tears pricking at yn's eyes.

"are you mad at me?" yn asked quietly, tentatively returning the hug as they wrapped their arms around his waist.

"of course i'm annoyed," chan responded.

yn sniffled, squeezing their eyes shut as hot tears began to roll down their cheeks. "i'm sorry," they whispered, voice wobbling. "do you hate me now?"

"hate you? i could never hate you, noona," chan murmured, pressing his face into yn's shoulder and inhaling deeply. "i'm glad it's you."

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a/n: for those of you wondering what a microfuge + micropipette is (ik the pic quality is shit but wtv)

and yes my dad did actually buy me a micropipette. still not sure why. still haven't used it.

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chapter 6.0 ☆ have you been flossing?

ss: 16

wc: 301

cw: swearing, mentions of car accidents, mentions of the french, yn is bad at feelings, teeth stuff???

a/n: 56 followers?? I never thought this many people would like my shit lol thank you guys 🥲🫶

updates are probably going to slow down a bit because I'm going back to college next week (I am writing this instead of doing my homework, how did you know?)

also the amount of research I did on dental implants for this one chapter just for the most random plot point... idk anymore

it had been... well, annoying, to say the least, the time after yn's old crowns had been removed. it hadn't been strictly necessary to go around wearing a mask everywhere they went, but it was just... weird, right? walking around with holes in their smile. luckily, it had only taken few days for the new crowns to be made – silver, this time, as recommended – and they did look pretty cool. a little cold in their mouth, though. yn supposed they would get used to it.

however, the last person yn expected to see as they were walking out of the dentist's office was... dear lord... yang jeongin. luckily, it wasn't a long interaction, or even an interaction at all, for that matter, they both just brushed past each other in the doorway. but it was enough to set yn's palms tingling, something that lasted until they made it back to their apartment.

hopefully jeongin hadn't noticed. even if he had, there was only a slim chance that he'd be able to track them down, anyway.

although there was a part of yn that wanted him to try. not that they would acknowledge it, of course, but after that interaction with changbin the other day, it was hard not to wonder what it would be like if they were to finally give in to the whole soulmate thing. maybe it would be... nice. 

but the combination of pride and shame that had welled up inside them over time stopped yn from making any move themselves. they had gotten used to being alone, and that sticky feeling of sadness that clung to them whenever they saw concert clips, or skz code, or their lives. they were better off without each other, yn told themselves.

but they weren't sure how true that was anymore.

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Hello. Can I be added to the taglist for U (feat. Tablo)? Please and thank you

yes ofc 🙂‍↕️

dont do me like this bro 😔

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ctto

okay

not everything thank fuck

but enough to be really fucking frustrating dear lord can't a girl catch a break jesus

i'm going to crash the fuck out

It’s May, which means it’s Ehlers Danlos Syndrome Awareness Month!

Since it’s massively underdiagnosed, I figured this would be a great occasion to share some of my favorite infographics about this condition. (And for any of you who have been wondering why my personal posts here are basically all about medical mishaps and weird injuries: it’s because of hEDS and comorbidities.)

To any of my fellow zebras out there, we will make it through this!

chapter 0.0 ☆ end of beginning

ss: 11

wc: 471

cw: mentions of + jokes about car accidents, mentions of comas, medical inaccuracies probably, angst, graphic description of pain? idk i'm just writing what a flare-up feels like to me

the main thing yn felt was pain. pain in her knee, pain in her jaw, and pain everywhere else. the meds barely took the edge off.

thankfully, her parents had managed to get her a private room, so yn didn't have to listen to other people, but in a way it made this whole thing worse. maybe it would have been a little better if she didn't feel so alone in her grievances.

she just wanted to sleep, to get away from reality for a little bit – but being away from home, in hospital of all places wasn't helping. the weird, bleach-y smell lingered in her nose, and the irregular beeping of her vitals was drilling a hole into her skull. not even holding the pathetic excuse for a pillow over her ears drowned it out. it was too uncomfortable a position anyway, especially since yn could only lay on her back so she didn't put pressure on her knee, or her jaw, or the many other injuries she'd sustained from the crash. the restlessness gradually seeping into her bones didn't help anything either, and yn knew it would only get worse over the months she'd need to heal.

at first, yn hadn't realised why she'd woken up in hospital, to a jaw wired shut, and a leg brace, and pain burning up her insides.

and then, she remembered.

crossing the road, alone, in the dark. the screeching of the tires as the car rounded the corner. standing, frozen, like a deer in headlights, and the blinding pain that spread like lightning through her body as she hit the ground, before blacking out.

due to some cruel twist of fate, she'd woken from her coma on what would have been her day off from training. all in all, not the most innocuous of days, but it meant that chan was there. him and his little, worried face, wasting his time on her. although, yn supposed it was better that she'd woken up then, so that he didn't have to spend the whole time just watching her, unconscious. and, well, it was nice having a friend around during the panic of the first moments of wakefulness.

but now, she was alone again. nothing to do but try desperately not to think about the accident, or the pain, or chan's little, worried face… it didn't really leave much. and those things were pretty hard not to think about when it felt like the images kept resurfacing in her head in a constant loop, a grim picture book, over and over – and the pain, a cloying caramel clogging up her insides and sinking its claws into her body, flames blazing.

yn just wanted sleep. but tonight, sleep was not her friend. and, to her reckoning, it wouldn't be for a long while.

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