I've Had A DC X DP Prompt/fic Idea And I'd Thought I'd Share.

I felt the need to make this.

Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?

Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.

Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.

Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.

Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.

Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.

Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.

-

Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?

Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.

Saddest DC members in my opinion with no explanation and there will be people missing because I haven’t read that many comics;

Cassandra Cain. Hal Jordan. John Constantine. Helena Bertinelli. Kara Zor El. Oliver Queen.

Will probably add more to this and please comment your thoughts.

What I think would happen if the batfam gets shipwrecked to an abandoned island.

Alfred; is enjoying his vacation.

Bruce; doesn’t know what to do because he hasn’t gone a single day of his life without someone helping him and can’t cook edible food.

Dick; dies from lack of physical affection.

Jason; can’t figure out how to hunt without guns

Tim; dies without coffee or wifi.

Damian; is worried about the animals and dies from starvation because he refuses to kill.

Duke; is okay ish, like he survives but not easily.

Barbra (not paralyzed cause she wouldn’t survive paralyzed in my opinion); is having a little fun with making traps.

Steph; is having the time of her life without her stupid classes and teachers.

Cass; was literally trained for this and is happy she finally has some alone time even if she misses her family.

Meanwhile Oliver is just watching this all and sighing because how did he survive but some of them didn’t?

nightmare mission trio

I love Obi-Wan Kenobi because he is a character who is designed to be good.

He is a character who believes in the right thing, who tries to do the right thing, and is innately good. Yet he still fails. Obi-Wan, despite the fact that he is smart, compassionate, loving, loyal, kind, selfless, and humble, all traits of a protagonist, is not one. His fatal flaw is his self-doubt. Obi-Wan is a person who exists to show others the light.

He is a character who leaves you wanting because he never gets what he deserves.

He is a character whose point is: sometimes being good is not enough. Sometimes people are good and they still live in pain. Sometimes a person is good and they make others good and they suffer for it.

mia, side-eyeing roy’s trucker hat and general appearance: are you a trump supporter now?

oliver, aghast: no he is NOT, i raised him better than that 🙄

roy, equally torn between being offended but also wanting to annoy ollie: maybe i am

*2 hours later*

jason, on the phone: why did ollie just call me to yell about you being out of the will and then dramatically hang up before i could get a word in?

roy: omg i was in the will? 🥺

jason: well not anymore

athena realises odysseus had never seen his son in song 38

Imagine this

CW! Green Arrow with COMIC!Justice League where only Bruce and Oliver know each other’s identities because they are best friends.

Anyways, something happens to Anatoly so Oliver steps in for him.

The JL are freaking out, trying to figure out why billionaire playboy CEO Oliver Queen is now leading one of the biggest Russian mafia groups.

Bruce also has no fucking idea but doesn’t care that much because Joker escaped and it’s actually Jason in the suit. He keeps sending his uncle questioning looks because he’s jealous.

Oliver is having the time of his life but also needs to leave in about an hour so he can track down the asshole who but a hit out on one of his best friends and imply it’s okay if someone kills the guy.

He isn’t going to do it himself but he wouldn’t stop them!

My favorite parts of the Iliad now that I’ve finished it for the first time:

Odysseus running around beating people with a scepter (and the amount of joy he got from it)

Agamemnon prematurely mourning Menelaus, who is standing right next to him.

Zeus telling Ares he hates him the most of all his children. God damn. He really did just say that to his face didn’t he.

Diomedes being a force of nature on the battlefield

Diomedes being a force of nature on the battlefield and everyone still treating him like he’s their annoying little brother who they unfortunately sometimes have to kind of listen to.

Diomedes.

“What are you talking about?” I laughed out loud multiple times because of this line. I don’t know what it is, but every single time it’s said I just imagine the most baffled/annoyed expression and tone of voice on whoever was saying it and I just. Lose it every time.

Helen being extremely passive aggressive the entire time she’s on the page. Seriously love her.

Helen believing her brothers didn’t come to war because they were ashamed of her, not knowing they have been dead for some time. It hurts and I love it.

Odysseus and Diomedes being sent on a spy mission and deciding that, after getting information from the Trojan spy, they are going to go to their camp and steal some horses. (And a chariot. And some armor, I think???) Utter chaos. They did not have to do this. This was A Choice.

Them coming back after stealing said horses and NOT A SINGLE PERSON QUESTIONS IT. IMPLYING THIS IS A NORMAL THING FOR THEM. AND THEY JUST,,,,,REGULARLY DO SHIT LIKE THIS.

Athena helping them.

The Trojans being annoyed with Paris

Nestor kicking Diomedes awake, who is, for some fucking reason, sleeping on the ground (?????)

Nestor.

Nestor going on long winded rants about His Day and his exploits. And everyone just kinda has to sit and listen to him talk.

Poseidon causing an earthquake so extreme Hades worried he was going to expose the underworld.

Artemis calling Apollo a baby for not wanting to fight Poseidon

Apollo ignoring her entirely. Peak sibling energy.

Achilles calling Patroclus’ ghost “true heart.” I know what you are.

Athena helping Diomedes in the funeral games.

Athena getting so mad Apollo made Diomedes drop his whip during said games she sabotaged Eumelus and made Diomedes’ horses run faster.

Antilochus threatening his horses into running faster.

This working.

Odysseus and Ajax wrestling and being so evenly matched that everyone gets tired of watching.

When they get up for round three Achilles telling them to “put not eachother further to such cruel suffering.”

The idea that Achilles was so sick of watching them that he compares it to actively being in pain.

Odysseus praying to Athena for help when he’s loosing the footrace.

Athena actually helping him.

Athena sabotaging Ajax and making him slip and fall face first into dung.

Ajax saying Athena hovers over Odysseus like his mother. Everyone finds this hilarious. Odysseus does not disagree.

Diomedes continually aiming at Ajax’s neck while fighting for a sword and armor. They are stopped by the rest of the Achaeans in fear for Ajax’s safety.

Yea, I’m convinced the Iliad is a comagedy. A comedic tragedy. A tragic comedy?