…so Now The Noble Swineherd, Clinging Fast To Godlike Telemachus, Kissed Him, As If He’d Escaped

You don't understand, I want Jason and Cass to resent each other.

I want them to walk out of the room as soon as the other steps in.

I want them to scowl every time someone else brings up their name. They try not to, try to disguise it as something else, but they grew up in a family of detectives.

I want Tim and Steph to try patching things up between them by pretending they forgot they invited the other to the hang out and everyone has to play along with the frigid silence. Eventually they stop accepting Tim's and Steph's vague invites.

I want Bruce's heart to ache as he rearranges a patrol schedule because they can't be paired together, not again.

I want guilt to eat at Damian and Duke when they compliment one in front of the other because it feels like stabbing the back of The Sibling Who Gets It.

I want someone to joke exactly once that Cass should have been Jason's Batgirl and that person feels a chill like someone walked over their grave.

I want them to see the worst of themselves reflected in each other.

What I think would happen if the batfam gets shipwrecked to an abandoned island.

Alfred; is enjoying his vacation.

Bruce; doesn’t know what to do because he hasn’t gone a single day of his life without someone helping him and can’t cook edible food.

Dick; dies from lack of physical affection.

Jason; can’t figure out how to hunt without guns

Tim; dies without coffee or wifi.

Damian; is worried about the animals and dies from starvation because he refuses to kill.

Duke; is okay ish, like he survives but not easily.

Barbra (not paralyzed cause she wouldn’t survive paralyzed in my opinion); is having a little fun with making traps.

Steph; is having the time of her life without her stupid classes and teachers.

Cass; was literally trained for this and is happy she finally has some alone time even if she misses her family.

Meanwhile Oliver is just watching this all and sighing because how did he survive but some of them didn’t?

I've noticed a word that gets thrown around in regards to Cass in Batgirl 2000 is "perfect." It's how Bruce and Cain both see her, what Babs calls her and what Cass would literally die to be the moment she wasn't. There's something heartbreaking about it. How she's defined by her perceived perfection to the point where she'd rather have a year of being perfect instead of a lifetime of not.

Then, when fanon casts her as perfect (albeit in a different way) all I can think is of how she never really escapes that. Perfection looms over her even now.

cass and jason are an underappreciated duo who deserve more rep. this ain't a debate, it's a fact

just imagine

Cass: *signing sorrowfully* i have been battling my own inner demons, brother. my childhood . . . my past . . . it calls to me, tugs at the scars on my skin and the blood painting my soul. it tells me that I shall never escape, not truly jason: cass: jason: that was poetic as shit, sis, and I think you should definitely write a book, but all I asked was "how was school"

jason: hey! how's everyone doin'? tim: *wathcing a movie* we're good-- cass: *turns movie off and glasres at jason* have you bandaged it yet? jason: *looking away* i don't know what you're talking about . . . cass: THE BULLET HOLE IN YOUR ARM jason: how the fuck did you even see that. my armor covers it cass: I SEE ALL. THERE IS NOWHERE IN THIS EARTHLY PLANE OR THE NEXT THAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF HIDING FROM ME, TRY AS YOU MIGHT jason: jason: i'll go get this bandanged jason: *mutters as he walks off* definitely not running from whatever the fuck that was . . .

cass: *tears in her eyes* my ballet recital was cancelled . . . the penguin bombed the street leading to the school . . . jason: *Grabbing his guns* that motherf- cass: jason: -ffffuudger cass: jason: jeezus please put the sad eyes away, i cant take it cass: you can fucking curse, jason. i am not a prim and proper Victorian woman who will tell you to pardon your fucking french. jason: cass: a FLIGHTLESS-fucking-AVIAN in a shitstain of a THREE PIECE SUIT just FUCKING BOMBED MY BALLET RECITAL, if anything the cursing HELPS jason: jason: this is an alternate dimension. that's the only explanation.

Sick Cass who only agrees to stay in bc she gets to man comms

Bruce: *fighting*

Cass with the sorest throat: I wouldn't have done that

It's her favourite sick activity. Just reviewing his fights in real time and going "You missed an opening. Too slow. He's going to attack you get ready. Wow your reaction time has gotten worse. Move or you'll get stabbed. Oh the kids are safe by the way they ran away while you were failing to win against this scrub."

Bruce, through gritted teeth while seething with rage: This is good. This is important. I need to know my weaknesses so I can squash them.

Cass: Took you two minutes. I would have done it in ten seconds with that leg sweep you missed the chance to do.

Bruce: Thank you Batgirl.

Cass: I think your joint pain is slowing you down. Can you bend your knees properly or do they crack with age?

Bruce:... I think I need radio silence to concentrate for a minute.

Cass: Brain is slowing down too if you can't multitask anymore. Sad.

Bruce: You know what let's see if there's anyone else for me to punch. I need that right now.

Cass babysitting younger gen heroes and using her past to terrify them into compliance. Ma'ri doesn't want to eat her vegetables? You see this bullet wound on Cass's shoulder? She got that because she didn't eat enough vegetables. True story. Sin is mad at Dinah and doesn't want to listen to her advice? One time Cass didn't listen to Dinah and guess what happened. Two shots to the stomach. True story. Damian wants to try fighting Shiva? First time Cass tried that she ended up with a dislocated shoulder and broken arm, her life spared on a whim. And that one's actually a true story.

I procrastinated a whole lot but I finished mostly

Helena Bertinelli, orphan and CSA survivor, protecting the kids of Gotham city in her work as a teacher, in her home an adoptive parent and in her vigilante life as huntress, I need a minute-

I have been reading a lot of headcanons of the justice league, my favorites are when batman reveals his identity but only to....Green arrow

It's so fun because imagine if for any reason Batman is forced to reveal his identity and everyone thinks he will choose Superman or/and Wonderwoman (because you know THE trinity, the dream team) BUT NO, he chooses green arrow

at this point the justice league already put aside whatever they were doing and start questioning batman, that is to say without hate towards Ollie but he is not the most secretive, nor the most competent, I mean HE IS NOT EVEN THE CLOSEST TO BATMAN, so yes, even Oliver is wondering why him?

and then without anything else Batman does or says some kind of code, at that moment everyone thinks that he must have already lost his mind when they hear the BIGGEST gasp from none other than Green Arrow, now he is running to hug Batman jumping and holding on like a koala while screaming

"WHY YOU NEVER SAID IT BEFORE SILLY"

"so you understand?"

"OF COURSE I UNDERSTAND IT'S OUR SUPER SECRET SUPER BEST FRIENDS CODE"

That's when J'onn leaves the room because he's not going to deal with the nonsense that these supposed heroes are thinking, the earth is doomed with these fools

Flash is screaming terrified that someone replaced Batman and brainwashed Ollie

Aquaman and Captain Marvel are pretending to know whatever is going on because they totally didn't sleep for half of the meeting

Black Canary's eyes are so wide and she looks like she had an epiphany from something Ollie said

Green Lantern still doesn't get over the fact that Batman is revealing his identity? (of course in such a weird way that only one of them understands, fuck him) but at the end of the day revealing his identity?

Wonder Woman and Superman are having a crisis and they are GREEN with envy, because not only did Batman reveal his identity to Green Arrow of all people, but he is also HUGGING him (also, they are the Bat's best friends, thank you very much)

Then Oliver, oblivious to everything, finishes by saying

"Wait, this means I kissed THE KNIGHT OF GOTHAM, THE BATMAN?, wow B you are killing me"

everyone explodes

totally based on this amazing post

My Odyssey book is coming tomorrow and I’m so excited!!

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE TURNED ME INTO. LOOK WHAT WE'VE BECOME.