Bruce, Introducing His Kids At A Family Interview: This Is My Eldest Dick, My Second Eldest Cassandra,

I’m going to expand on something I said in a different post. It’s the one about how I think Bruce and Oliver are best friends…

I said how Oliver and Cassandra were the only ones to not have a choice when it came to their training. I still think this is true but I may add Damian and maybe Roy in with them.

This isn’t saying the others chose their traumas, I’m just saying they decided to train and become heroes/vigilantes.

For example Bruce’s parents died and he decided to go around the world to train.

But Oliver was shipwrecked. It wasn’t his decision to start training, he had to so he would survive. The comics and show are different but have the same premises, if he didn’t do the things he did he would have died.

When they got back they both CHOSE to be heroes/vigilantes. Bruce had already decided it a long time ago and Oliver had the list (show) or saw that his abilities could help and decided to do something (comics).

So in NO way am I saying they chose their traumas, but they did chose to become heroes/vigilantes.

I don’t know much about Damian but I think he didn’t choose to train. Of course, I think, he wanted to, but he would have been forced to anyways.

I know next to nothing about Roy so idk if he wanted the people to train his in archery and marksmanship or not so do with that what you will.

But if Oliver didn’t train he would have died. If Cassandra didn’t train she would have been killed.

Of course, Cassandra didn’t know it wasn’t normal and she couldn’t communicate even if she didn’t want to, but she was still forced. They were the only ones (I think) that had absolutely no choice except to train or they would die.

Also, in the comics (Green Arrow Year One), Oliver saves a bunch of slaves from China White, I think. He found his old ship and could have escaped but chose to save the people instead. I’m not saying he didn’t have a choice for that, I’m saying he had to learn archery to survive.

Please comment your thoughts!

I want Bruce and Oliver to be so petty. Like when Lex does an evil scheme they make remarks that only he will know are about him and hang out and if he tries to crash it they post stories abt their boarding school days. Cause it will help with their secret identities but Lex will just be embarrassed af and his stocks will go down while the others go up.

And that's why we love her

honestly the more i think about Hal as an often homeless, broke, frequently unemployed, felon who’s constantly five bad days away from a mental breakdown the less funny jokes about him being constantly belittled and bullied by the multi billionaire personally funding the justice league really are.

What's your take on Odysseus's trauma and recovery back in Ithaca?

*looks at all the comics I made*

Lol but really, I realistically expect it to be severely rocky. He’ll have good days, mostly bad days, but what keeps him grounded is of course his family, you know?

But imagine losing your entire fleet under your command...

...only to come back to an entire population of thousands of people, expecting that you will lead them.

What if he fails again?

non-gotham locals think the most prolific bat-villain is the joker, or scarecrow, even the riddler — or any of their assorted highly dangerous deluded rogues.

but a real gothamite knows how big a pain in the ass condiment king is, in fact, urban legend says that the bat kids have formed a pact to not tell batman if condiment king just happens to turn up… at the bottom of gotham harbor.

Goonion rule #14. If given the chance; always fuck with Batman

Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.

Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.

Dick, confused: Huh? Why?

Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?

Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-

Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...

Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO

Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?

Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?

Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.

Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.

Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!

Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran

The Batkids play a game called “Guess Who Bruce Is Disappointed In Today” and it is a bloodsport.

It started as a joke. It is no longer a joke.

Every morning, without fail, one of them walks into the kitchen and says:

“Guess who Bruce is disappointed in today?”

And they all take turns guessing based on crime alerts, nightly patrol rotations, and vibes.

It’s become a system.

It went like:

Jason: “I knocked out a senator by accident. My odds are high.”

Tim: “I drank seventeen Red Bulls and fell asleep on top of the Batcomputer.”

Damian: “I released three bats into Gotham General Hospital as enrichment. They were bored.”

Steph: “I called him ‘Brucie’ in front of a senator.”

Cass: Just raises a finger and shrugs.

Then Bruce walks in, dead silent, pours his coffee, looks at no one, and walks away.

Tim: “It’s Jason.”

Jason: “DAMN IT.

Rules:

If you guess wrong, you have to do patrol with Damian and listen to him rant about the superiority of traditional swordsmanship for two hours.

If you guess right, you get to choose the movie on family movie night.

If Bruce is disappointed in himself, everyone gets ice cream. That’s the law.

It got so serious they made a whiteboard. Labeled it: “DISAPPOINTMENT LEADERBOARD.”

Top scores:

Tim (17 correct guesses, possible mind reader)

Cass (14, reads vibes better than Google Translate reads Latin)

Steph (11, mostly via chaos intuition)

Jason (2. constantly thinks it’s him. It often is. But not always.)

Damian (0. refuses to acknowledge he is ever the cause)

One time Dick guessed correctly for the first time in 3 months and everyone clapped.

He cried.

Alt. Version: Guess Who Bruce Is Proud Of Today.

Game cancelled due to lack of data.

@mbirnsings-71