Thinking About Cass Cain, The World's Biggest Proponent Of "nobody Dies Tonight" Still Taking The Time

I always find the melodrama around Obi Wan being Anakin's master a bit funny. Basically a teenage dad! Struggling single parent! Traumatized child in the care of a traumatized child! Eldest daughter syndrome etc..... Yes, he was grieving, and it must have taken courage on his part to present that ultimatum to the council, and had he had to leave the Order to train Anakin, I can see how that would have been deeply challenging, true. But like,

It's the clone wars cartoon that really renders it for me. Anakin was.... I think quite objectively less ready for knighthood at the end of aotc than Obi Wan was at the end of tpm, but the cartoon basically has it happen right away. He was an actual teenager. He, unlike Obi Wan, canonically did not really want a padawan at that time. Also, he had to raise a padawan in a warzone? Hey, he also had just lost a parent, wow, the parallels. The show also establishes quite thoroughly that jedi learn to look after children and teach... possibly even before becoming padawans themselves, judging by Ahsoka, and that there is also a good degree of communal teaching even with the apprentice system, judging by Ahsoka. But never mind all that

So we're cuddle-piling the 25 year old trained teacher with a solid support system who was applying for a position that he expected to include raising a padawan, i guess... truly the meowest of meows, the burdenest of burdens. No wonder Anakin fell!

Warriors 

Cassandra Cain has to deserve an award or something because having four parental figures and being let down by all of them at some point or another has to be some kind of record

the “we don’t need main canon helena wayne bc Bruce has a daughter in Cassandra” crowd is so stupid bc what do u mean he can have five sons but we have to cap it at a one female child minimum 😭 shut uuup!

Diomedes: That's Odysseus, cleverest of the greeks. He's probably concocting a wicked plan right now.

Odysseus *internally*: Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Penelope Pen-

Silly Batfam headcanon that David Cain (who introduced his daughter to a lot of his contacts during her upbringing) in his younger days used to be... a lot more involved in politics.

So, one seemingly slow day in a certain american inteligence agency:

CIA agent, entering the room in a panic: Sir, Bruce Wayne has-

Head of the pentagon: The playboy millionaire? Why do I care what he has done?

Agent: Because he has publicly adopted Cassandra Cain, sir!

Pentagon head: Cassandra Cain?

Agent: Yes, sir.

Head: Daughter of internacional assassin David Cain?!

Agent: The one, sir.

Head: THE GUY WE HIRED TO KILL KENNEDY AND COVER IT UP THIRTY YEARS AGO??????

Agent: Exactly.

Head: I thought her daugther had disappeared and was missing or something, how has she been adopted by Bruce Fucking Wayne?!

Agent: We're looking into it. She's using forged legal documents but it's definitely her, should we arrest her?

Head, grabbing the agent by the collar: That's the girl who beat every single UN-wanted assassin on earth before her age hit double digits, you idiot! If you so much as lay a finger on her she will break it and then come after me for seconds, no one touches her!

Agent: Ok, sir, put me down, please. *Head lets go of him* Should we put all of Wayne Mannor under official protection, then?

Head: Yeah, yeah, that sounds about right, wouldn't want something bad to happen to Cain's new father that could send her on a vengeance quest.

Agent: Do you think the Batman knows the Waynes are harboring the singular most dangerous non-meta teenager on Earth?

Head, about to have a heart attack: Oh, God, if the Batman goes after Wayne it could send Cain into a rampage. Establish emergency communications with Batman, appeal to his good nature, offer him whatever he wants, he can't go after Cassandra Wayne!

*One day later, on a rooftop in Gotham*

Batman: Speak, I'm busy.

Agent: Yes, I won't take much of your time. My bosses want to- who's that?

Batman, without turning to look at the figure behind him: That's Batgirl, my partner. But you were talking to me.

Agent: O-of course. Listen, there's a new dangerous criminal here in Gotham you will wanna hear about.

Batman: I thought your bosses didn't like working with me?

Agent: we don't wanna work with you. We want you to leave this criminal alone, as we believe she's looking to turn a new leaf. That, and she might probe a greater threat if provoked. *hands him pictures of Cassandra during the adoption announcement*

Batman, thirty years of poker face training:

Agent: She is Cassandra Wayne, new adopted daughter of Bruce Wayne.

Batgirl, noticing the inmediate shift to proud-happy-proud when the agent refered to her as his daughter:

Batman: I've heard about her, Bruce Wayne seems very fond of her already. Very well, I will leave her alone, she hasn't done anything bad as far as I've found in my investigation anyway.

Agent, sighing in relief, looking down a second to pocket the pictures: That's great to hear, it's a pleasure to- *looks up and both vigilantes have disappeared*

*a few roofs away*

Batman, walking in absolute silence:

Batgirl, pullings his sleeve: Fond of me?

Batman, nodding, red under the cowl: Fond of you.

I've noticed a word that gets thrown around in regards to Cass in Batgirl 2000 is "perfect." It's how Bruce and Cain both see her, what Babs calls her and what Cass would literally die to be the moment she wasn't. There's something heartbreaking about it. How she's defined by her perceived perfection to the point where she'd rather have a year of being perfect instead of a lifetime of not.

Then, when fanon casts her as perfect (albeit in a different way) all I can think is of how she never really escapes that. Perfection looms over her even now.

Fic I have no plot for but desperately want the character dynamics in: preboot era Helena Bertinelli, Cassandra Cain, and Jason Todd having to team up for a long mission.

Helena having the very weird experience of being in the middle of the kill/no-kill vigilante spectrum for once. Her Exasperated Teacher Voice coming out unintentionally all the damn time and it has zero affect on Cass but absolutely hits Jason like a brick.

Eventually through either a check-in with Oracle or a very tired phone call with Dick, Helena learns about Dick acting out fairy tales for Cass, and harnesses Jason's Theater Kid & Literature Nerd energy to introduce Cass to more classics. Helena is finally able to take a nap without them fighting.

i’m thinking about the various batgirl origin stories and babs and cass and steph and how to be batgirl means to be distrusted & to try so desperately to be good enough. and the grace babs gives cass and steph in batgirls, specifically, because she has been there. she has been the girl who was trying so hard to help and was told to stop.

they are not trustworthy, they are not prepared, they are not strong enough. they’re too impulsive, they’re too young. idk. i think at the end of the day batgirl is a title for those who are not heard when they try to be anything else.

One of the perks of living in Gotham is that occasionally you’ll walk past a Wayne having the most batshit insane conversation anybody has ever had.

Walk past Dick Grayson on the street and hear him say into his phone, “I don’t think he’s anti-vax, but Superman is definitely not vaccinated.”

Stand outside of the downtown WE building and see Tim Drake walk out with his tall friend only to pause and say, “Hold on, I just got the mental image of Lex Luthor pregnant. Thanks for that.”

A lucky few who ride the same subway line as the newest Wayne edition, overheard Duke tell Stephanie that living in Wayne Manor is, “Alright, but when I moved in Jason and Damian gave me a knife and said I had to kill Tim. Said it was tradition.”

“It kinda is. Did you do it?”

“No!” Duke says, to the relief of the overhearers. “Get this…he stabbed himself.”

“…yeah, I should’ve guessed that.”

The downside to living in Gotham is literally everything else.