Freedom

inspiring, although I’d argue with Wilde because immoral books don’t always show the world its flaws but sometimes encourage and multiply them (this was a tough lesson for me as an aspiring writer)

“That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you’re not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”  ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

“I should like to make life beautiful–I mean everybody’s life. And then all this immense expense of art, that seems somehow to lie outside life and make it no better for the world, pains one. It spoils my enjoyment of anything when I am made to think that most people are shut out from it.“  ~ George Eliot

“Madame, all stories, if continued far enough, end in death, and he is no true-story teller who would keep that from you.”  ~ Ernest Hemingway

“The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.” ~ Oscar Wilde  

“Writing in English is the most ingenious torture ever devised for sins committed in previous lives. The English reading public explains the reason why.” ~ James Joyce

“A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us.” ~ Franz Kafka

“Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.” ~ Edgar Allan Poe

i was with a new friend yesterday and he was telling us how he worked on a maple syrup farm and then he kind of pulls me aside and was like “hey don’t tell anyone but i can get you some maple syrup at a nice discount price but technically it’s not legal but let’s keep that on the down low” and i think i just made friends with an illegal maple syrup dealer

Breaking the Ice

For about half a year I've been stuck. I haven't written a single word worth mentioning. And that's a problem if you're trying to write something. I had a conflict that I had to rewrite before the climax of my story and nothing worked. I resolved I would not progress with he whole novel as long as this problem is not solved and today, with pride I say, I have solved it. It's possibly the sweetest, neatest, greatest, most dynamic, most intense part of the whole thing.

But why couldn't I write it? I've been in a bittersweet relationship with the Creator of everything. Last time in church, the scripture said that what the Lord requires of me is:

to try to live in love,

to live according to His laws,

and to be humble toward Him.

None of the above has been fulfilled lately. But He reached down to me and, so openly, he set the rules for me. I was finally told exactly where I'm lacking. Everywhere, apparently. But it's good, it's really the best. I finally know that I should do these three. And I'm so thankful! Knowing this is salvation. I'm saved... once more. This is the biggest thing of my life and now that it's done--not for the first time, sadly--life can/must move on for me. Move forward ;)

miss you, too :) you are my constant inspiration

i miss you, my Dear! 

All the suck for the awesome

Difficulties may come. Or actually do come. We like to call even the less trying days hard ones, too, but now I'm speaking of real difficulties. As I said, we come across those times.

I'm convinced you know what I'm talking of, when I say being the burn-out one, doing the monotonous routine you swore to never do, dreaming big but always being stuck in second gear... These all are quite common symptoms of a-normal-life.

I've just arrived at the end of one of these periods. It's been a quarter year, that I lived through many sufferings. But I must admit, that most of them were self-inflicted, for all this served an indeed great purpose: the benefit of my personality.

I've been very reluctant towards my studies in mechanical engineering. I grew to hate my uni, and all that came with it. BUT this time has come to an end, when I realised, how incredibly much I've gained from this. I learnt truly spectacular and useful matters, and I've made important acquintaces, valuable friendships. True ones. Much more true ones, than what I foresaw for the period.

All in all, I'm clearly grateful for the thing I hated the most in the past couple of months, since I feel like I've become a better man through them. It makes me delightful to have been able to just remain on the surface.

Oh boy, I'm exhausted, so I suppose this post will end up as some nonsense but I hope, that for some of you out-there, it will mean what I meant...

"What direction - Life begins at the intersection"

It's a Switchfoot quote. OK, I know they didn't actually invent the line but it's in one of their best songs: Faust, Midas and Myself. This piece of music is more literary, than most of the contemporary novels. I'm not gonna add much about the lyrics but the basic question which it implies is whether our goals and dreams are well-thought-out - if we could have them all.

Recently I've been given/offered grand opportunities. One is: two contract offers from a good-named publishing company. It was sort of a before-the-right-time because I decided to continue perfecting my book. I don't even know why I tried to catch their attention. But the amazing thing is, that it worked easy as cake. WOW! Though there's clearly not much that I did. The whole situation is only a link of favourable but un-controlled events. For which I am really grateful.

I must admit, that it doesn't make me special, no matter how much I feel that way. At best, it's a special piece of art, which is worth the mention. But me? Out of the picture. Life often brings us to unprecedented intersections. We are to choose the direction. But do we choose wisely? No. (It was a very strong, firm no...) You know, we could be anyone. Life has no limits at all. Our beliefs, however, can lock us away from the best existing possibilities. We really do believe, that we can't be big people, successful, or simply happy. We let the popular concept take over: we are under too much weight to be getting anywhere in our lives. But in fact, there is no place, nodirection, which we could not choose. I guess the metaphor is as complete as ever...

If it leaves open questions, then answer them, it's on purpose!

Randomness rules!

I don’t want you to die. Roy. Don’t kill him. Let him live. Let him live. Don’t kill him. Roy? Promise? And don’t cross your fingers.

I think the original poster is a great piece, very artistic and can't be equaled. All that said, these pictures are beautiful mementos and give back a lot with much grace.

Hope comes with faith. Faith is originated from past experiences, revelations and decisions, while hope in the other hand, is belief in uncertain things of the future, which could not be thought of without the first word of the sentence. Of course, without hope, what good would faith be?

I am the midnight of a soul I'm the other side of the wall The fissure between the tops Ever-hunted blood-red fox I am the glimpse of a thought I'm the wave broken by rocks A mystery of nothing Trapped, caught by snares whilst hunting I am the smoke of a burnt-out candle The smell of night The sight of blinds I am the broken glass' torn-down handle The weight of light The might of fright But dawn follows the night I'll enjoy an eagle's flight And I already know Why I wait tomorrow

Writer's note

It's been a long day. I've been called in to 2 job interviews, for which I'm happy beyond words but, other than that, oh boy, have I had a swell time?

I'll begin with something that's very close to me: literary work. Ever since I learnt how to write I've had a grand vision of my future. It's been my dream to be a great writer and I've always lived in this illusion that I'm good at it. But today I was rejected by a medium-sized company. No, not my professional application-- I wanted to be a volunteer. It's a quarterly magazine. So they said that they had my test writings checked by professionals and they found them inadequate in regards of grammar and authenticity.

The other thing is, well, literature, too. Remember when I said I've had this dream to be a great writer? Yeah, it pretty much fills every second minute of my waking hours. So here's the other story: Yesterday I recieved an answer to a query I sent to a seemingly fitting agent. She wrote that she feels honored (of course), that I contacted her, however, my work is not really for her. She (of course) encouraged me to keep on trying because she did not reject my book because of its general lack of genuineness but because of her own lack of enthusiasm about it. Yeah, it sucks. I know what you're thinking: Well what does one (1) agent matter anyway? Keep on trying, she said that too. So yes. Thank you. I've been trying. I've been trying for over a year with a total absence of fruition in any respect. I've re-written and polished my work but what does it matter now?

I've never said I'm a writer. Never to anyone. I've always believed humility is crucial and so I've never mentioned myself as a writer or artist. I didn't keep my writing a secret but I sure as rain was modest about it. Still, what I feel right now is this: I'm a complete wreck as a writer. Yeah, I'm a wreck that's for granted but why do I think I'm a writer. I never said I was and I've been constantly forcing myself not to consider myself as that. But in despair and disappointment my thoughts betray me. I'm just a sore loser and a presumptuous fool.

I'm not going to apologize for all the dismal things I've written because they aren't dismal. They're meant to teach you something. Well, who am I trying to lie to? They're meant to teach me something. Something I know and yet pretend to never have heard of. In all honesty I have a lot to learn and I've got to let go of big-faced concepts about myself. I'll be small. I'll remain small and I'll accept being that. I'm too young to be big and it takes some time to get rid of one's youth.