Head Canons For Multimedia-Morbs

Ahh, so that’s why Morbius hasn’t been very active in the comics lately…

He was on vacation 😂😂😂

I want you to remember:

The fascists hate you too and they just will pretend otherwise until after they've killed the rest of us, before they turn on you.

I don’t know who to send this to 🤷

Shout out to the trans people who are also bats and bats enthusiasts idk how there are so many of us here

🦇

Unfortunately, you were right Lily, tumblr has everything, and more, than I could’ve ever wanted.

Of course, I have to figure out how to use it properly first. Is this a post good enough to pass the Turing test?

i thinkit would be cool if there was an omegaverse but for salmon instead of wolves. Like when the time comes certain members of society get really juicy musclewise and get yiffy fangs and are suddenly compelled to return to the neighborhood they grew up in and 96 hours later show up barefoot in full starvation mode and ravaged by walking through interstate traffic to fuck whoevwr smells the best in the local burger king. Then afterwards they die and disintegrate to be eaten by seagulls in the parking lot

I’m sorry, did you tag Morbius as one of the villains in love? Because the two of them literally don’t give two shits about each other. Bro is barely a Spider-Man “Enemy”, they just don’t have that much chemistry (I.e. neither of them hates the other nearly as much as some of these other guys do, like they’re just a nuisance to each other and that’s it). I mean, yeah, on occasion Peter has felt bad for the guy… but more often than not he pounds him into the dirt for looking at a blood bag funny…

Peter Parker truly has a disproportionate amount of enemies that are homoerotically obsessed with him and yet Marvel maintains that he must stay straight

Yes, because we all know how he gets when he thinks he has to protect a minor. See, Amanda Saint, Tara, and that homeless girl from 2013.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he almost feels compelled to pull a Batman on this kid…

But he’ll complain the entire time probably, because that’s what he do

kinda thinking about morbius and b negative and morbius maybe feeling guilty to an unhealthy degree about the whole "you have my blood and are now also a living vampire" thing like it wasn't even his fault that b negative has his blood but it's *his* blood and by extension *his* fault bc if his blood didn't fall into the wrong hands- or better yet if his blood wasn't fucked up at all, then b negative wouldn't have to suffer the same condition he does. maybe he even makes exceptions for b negative that he doesn't make for himself. No blood bags for michael (it'd be rude to steal from innocent people who need it, you can find it elsewhere) but b negative can have them (he's innocent, he needs it, he shouldn't have to take the life of other people to sate his hunger). for example. and maybe how b negative might feel about that. just thinking about it idk.

Empathy is a bitch

I just realized that, although I love the 2012 Dark Shadows movie, for some people that movie is their 2021 Morbius.

Reasons I like it: It’s Johnny Depp, in a vampire movie, set in the late 60s early 70s, with all the music and Johnny Depp-ing around that that would entail…

But I get what a fan of the Original Dark Shadows would see: that’s not Barnabas Collins, this tone is too cheerful, they truncated whole arcs, and some characters are missing or smooshed together!

Because that’s kind of how I feel about the Morbius movie: that’s not Michael Morbius, they’ve smooshed three different characters into one worse version of an important one, why does this taste like a diet version of the 90s comic? What is this tone?

But someone probably says: yes! Jared Leto is Jared Leto-big all over the place, and I love that Milo guy, I’d like to ship him and Michael, and ooo! Cool special effects! Boy, what a fun early 2000s comic book movie!

And I cringed, just like those poor Dark Shadows fans did. However, 3 years out from my worst ever experience with the cinema, I can’t completely find it in my heart to hate movie-character Morbius anymore. In the grand multiversal scheme of things he’s just another version of my favorite character, and he did nothing wrong but exist in a shitty movie. And I hope the Dark shadows fans eventually realized this about movie-character Barnabus too. He might not be your favorite version of the guy, but he’s still that guy. And he might become someone’s favorite.

I just thought I’d point this out because sometime in the next decade or so, they will do this again to someone else’s favorite vampire blorbo. I just know that Hollywood will. So I hope that when they do, both fandoms will there to commiserate with the new guys. Because it sucks to see your blorbos done out of character in an adaptation that overshadows their original portrayal.

But just know that that shitty adaptation will make more people interested in that character, and hopefully, they will eventually watch/read the original versions. And then you’ll have new friends!