*doom Music Starts To Play* I Actually Kindof Like Scheduling These Kinds Of Appointments Now...

Baby’s First Year… 1 month:

[She-hulk, the great jade giantess herself, stands outside in the middle of a sunny New York winter afternoon, across the street from an imposing yet nondescript office building complex]

She-Hulk: * shifts the the cooler bag on her shoulder in order to check the building address that was texted to her burner phone: she is in the right location but she is still in denial* “this can’t be the right place, can it?”

She-Hulk: *now inside this ginormous bio-medical building, currently walking through a dark and clearly deserted lobby area towards an elevator, still skeptical* “usually he’s hunkered down in the sewer system or some abandoned subway station… but this, is um, quite the step up…”

She-Hulk: *on an upper floor now, phone flashlight on and her guard up, going carefully down the hallway past empty, dark, medical office after empty, dark, medical office* “it’s still really creepy in here, though… not to mention, did he really have to be so cryptic over text?”

She-Hulk: *finally coming to a stop in front of a bank of ominously darkened lab rooms with floor to ceiling observation windows that bounce her phone’s light back at her* “I mean, what on earth does he need baby formula, five bags of blood, and ‘Legal advice’ for? The blood makes sense, I guess, but there rest? Also, Isn’t he usually asleep at 11 o’clock in the morning?”

She-Hulk: *taking a deep breath before using her light to look through each lab window, she’s not exactly sure what she’ll find … but she knows it’ll be obvious once she’s looking at it * “*sigh* Honestly, what am I getting myself into?”

????: *weakly, a tired, almost anemic sounding voice can be heard from one lab down from where She-Hulk is currently looking* “Ms. Walters? You actually came…”

She-Hulk: *startled, turns her phone light towards the sound, she catches two red eyes in its gleam… * “Michael?!”

She-Hulk: *She bursts into the room, frantically feeling for the light switch on the wall, next to the door; she pauses as the lights reveal the room to her* “Michael!! What the heck is going on…”

Morbius: *Eyes squinted from the sudden brightness, dark five o’clock shadow against pale sweaty flesh, strapped down to a gurney with a nylon belt four fingers wide, blue-black thermal suit haphazardly rolled down to his waist, chest hair matted slick in places from multiple small still oozing wounds* “Jennifer Walters, Truly you are μια υπέροχη πράσινη θεά…”

She-Hulk: *Surprise quickly turns into concern which slowly begins fading into her family’s favorite emotion as she scrolls through her mental list of medical wackos who might do something like this* “Michael Morbius! You have five seconds to explain what’s going on and why you look like the Monty Python rabbit attacked you!

Morbius: *further lowering the volume of his exhausted voice in hopes that She-hulk might mirror him while furtively glancing at something on the floor on the other side of his gurney* “Ok! Ok… if you would just give me one of those blood bags, I can tell you in three, but please… be quieter… we just got the baby down to sleep”

She-Hulk: *moving into the room so she can follow his gaze, also lowering her voice* “Baby ?”

[Her phone light freezes on a questionable sight: on the floor is The Lizard, in just his tattered clothes, breathing softly with eyes seemingly wide open (save for the subtle discoloration of nictitating membranes) curled protectively around a small, pale, sleeping infant swaddled in a grubby lab coat. The baby has sweet little wisps of blond hair , a crusty ring of red encircling his tiny precious lips, and little pudgy fists which are tightly clasped around the tip of The Lizard’s tail.]

She-hulk: *mostly to herself under her breath as she observes the kid* “huh, well that explains the baby formula… hold on, is that-“

Morbius: *interrupting her train of thought, bloodlust starting to cloud his hushed tone, even starting to struggle against his bindings* “yes, tis exactly what you think it is, now how about that blood bag?”

She-Hulk: *remembering the rest of the stuff in her cooler bag, fishing a packet out for him, thinking to add an i.v. tube as a straw before handing it to him; quietly taking note to wait for him to finish before she undoes the straps on him* “oh! Right! Here…”

[one blood bag later, in one room over]

She-Hulk: *looking expectantly at Morbius* “So… is it yours…or?”

Morbius: *no longer restrained and now sitting back in a chair, his wounds already closed up but trying to clean the remaining blood off his chest with anti-septic wipes before he pulls his thermal suit back up, not really looking at She-Hulk while speaking; he’s embarrassed he almost went off on her* “No, not mine biologically…”

She-Hulk: *Jokingly feinting shock * “What? you’re telling me that you and The Lizard didn’t whip that little cutie up in the lab? He looks soooo much like you and Martine…”

Morbius: *bristles at the comment but continues trying break up the matted blood and spittle in his chest hair* “We share some similarities… but no, he is a foundling, whatever ‘Parents’ he had decided to drop him on our doorstep 3 weeks ago.”

She-Hulk: *A bit more serious now* “Oh. I see…How old was he on arrival?”

Morbius: *pausing for a moment, trying to recall but sleep deprivation makes it so much harder * “Hngmm, between Strange and I during our visit last week, we were able to place him at having arrived around a week or so old, give or take a day…”

She-Hulk: *pretty sure the baby looks well over a few weeks old currently…* “I take it he’s not a ‘traditional vampire’ then?”

Morbius: *finally looks up her direction, there is a thousand yard length to his stare; clearly more than just one bag was needed to shake off the rest of his anemia* “Correct, as I stated before, we have ‘similarities’… which Dr.Strange was able to confirm for me during our visit last week. Also, before you ask: if I had to guess, his mother was probably one of Theocritus’ test subjects during the blood hunt, she was probably cured along with the rest of them during her pregnancy but the antidote must not have passed to the child…”

Morbius: *heavily, as if delivering a most grave diagnosis; after which he returns to attending to his chest* “which means, as far as we can tell, he was born like this.”

She-Hulk: *taking that conclusion with the full weight of what she knows about Morbius’ history, plus the grain of salt that is sleep deprivation; She decides to put on her ‘public defender hat’ and start gently steering this conversation to the part she’s been most curious/worried about* “huh, ok… that’s a pretty good explanation of everything, very… succinct. Yep, totally explains two thirds of your text; which I really didn’t understand why you sent to me at first. but… I think I’m starting to get an idea of why, so I’m just going to ask some clarifying questions about that last third: so, what exactly do you need legal advice on?”

Morbius: *finally giving up his cleaning efforts in grouchy exasperation* “Is it not obvious? I wish to know where I stand on Guardianship for το μικρό μύρο, what legal steps must I next take?”

She-hulk: *relieved but still kind of perplexed/startled; also beginning to notice a new problem* “Oh! Thank god, yeah no that makes sense! That’s actually very pragmatic thinking there, Michael. But, I think there’s just a… few little problems with my ability to answer that question…”

Morbius: *slow on the up take and not a fan of where this is going; She-hulk’s legal advice hasn’t steered him wrong, yet… * “Problems?”

She-hulk: *puts up a finger as she lists each problem* “well for one, I only passed the bar in California, which won’t really help in New York… two, I’m a Criminal Defense lawyer not a Family or Immigration Lawyer… three, the baby is technically a US citizen while your legal citizenship is, at best, dubious… , and Four-“

Morbius: *Exhausted, fangs gritted like a dam to hold back the bitter tears welling up behind bloodshot red eyes. his despair demands that he stop her; upon finishing he dramatically hangs his head in his hands in as an expression of tired defeat* “Ok! Ok! I get the point! But you can not tell Morbius that it would not be different if anyone else had found him!! Morbius, and only Morbius, knows what that child will go through! And! And, only… I will be the one to save him from it…”

She-hulk: *Talking in the third person is a bad sign with him, it definitely means she struck a nerve… she-hulk pauses a moment to choose her next words carefully: firm but gently she says* “hey… hey… I wasn’t trying to ‘make a point’ about anything. I am sorry I got carried away, but what I want you to know is that getting the answers to all these questions first is actually going to be your next step. Unfortunately, I am just not equipped to give you these answers right now; but I am willing to take some time… and ask some friends… and and eventually get back to you on this, ok?”

[no response from Morbius]

She-hulk: *concerned, decides maybe he’s being sulky* “do you hear me Michael? I promise I’m going to help you, ok?”

[ when she still receives no response from him, she gets up from her chair and carefully goes over to check on him]

She-Hulk: *tries to get his attention verbally first, but when he still doesn’t respond she tries snapping her fingers near one of his sensitive pointy ears* “Michael?” *snap* *snap*

She-Hulk: *surprisingly still no response, so she checks his vitals: pulse is steady and so is his breathing… which can only mean one thing: he’s just sleeping; albeit while still seated stiff as a board in his position of despair* “wait a minute… what?! Do you really go into rigor-mortis when you fall asleep?? Goddamnit Michael…”

She-Hulk: *incredulous but not surprised, she decides to let him rest* “You know what? I’ll just text him later tonight to make sure he understands that I’m gonna help… until then, though, I’ll see myself out…”

[part 1 of 6]

Unfortunately, you were right Lily, tumblr has everything, and more, than I could’ve ever wanted.

Of course, I have to figure out how to use it properly first. Is this a post good enough to pass the Turing test?

i thinkit would be cool if there was an omegaverse but for salmon instead of wolves. Like when the time comes certain members of society get really juicy musclewise and get yiffy fangs and are suddenly compelled to return to the neighborhood they grew up in and 96 hours later show up barefoot in full starvation mode and ravaged by walking through interstate traffic to fuck whoevwr smells the best in the local burger king. Then afterwards they die and disintegrate to be eaten by seagulls in the parking lot

The Tale of a bisque-fired Vampire

My biggest regret in life was not finishing my transition. Which wasn’t my fault, but my chance was cut short. That alone is enough to make a guy vengeful, but do you know what actually reanimated me?

My family took the time and paid the money to separate out my hand bones and skull, had them cleaned and articulated. They actually cremated me, as asked, and portioned out my ashes to be used in both a pound of clay and to make two memorial diamonds. They followed my will to the letter, and I know that they read it all the way through. I know because of the one thing that they didn’t do.

As I watched my service from beyond, tears began to well up in my nonexistent eyes. My parents did not once acknowledge me as their son. My sister never once referred to me as her brother. And not a single one of my friends whom I was out to, nor my partner, were invited to the ceremony.

I had to sit there alone, and take it, even from beyond the grave… The exact same misgendering which had crushed me in life had managed to affect me here too. And that was too much for me.

I really wanted to believe It could’ve been a mistake. I had to believe that they just couldn’t find the right opportunity during the whole thing… but then they only confirmed it by finishing the aforementioned disposal of my old body.

There was a clause in my will, which would have saved them all that time and money, if they had just acknowledged me. But they chose to jump through all those other hoops instead. In picking the equivalent of “draw 25 cards”, they had inadvertently stacked the deck quite nicely for my return.

When they finally left my remains alone in one place I went to work. I tried out my hands first. Moving the bones was like slipping back on a worn out pair of work gloves. Thankfully they were just as articulate as I had specified in my will. With these disembodied hand, I set the respective memorial diamonds in the eye sockets of my skull. It was dazzling to finally see the world without the need for glasses.

Overjoyed that things were going to plan, I set my newly reanimated skull on a high out of the way shelf. From this vantage point I could survey the next step in my plan without worrying about clouding my new eyes. On the table where they stored my remains, I started to pull out and knead the porcelain ash-clay. I took my pound of once-flesh and miraculously stretched it back out into a proper body. One sculpted, not in the image of who I’d once been, but as I had always wished to become. It pained me to have to slice into the beautiful creation in order to embed my cleaver bones in the right places. I just had to remind myself that it would be worth it.

Next, I needed to let my new form dry out a bit before I could finally install myself inside. Thankfully nobody bothered to visit my old art studio once in that span of time. And It took over a week to dry out completely. During that time I couldn’t help but wonder why no one ever came to do anything with my remains…?

Eventually, as the moisture left my new form, I ceased to care about it. Instead I began to focus on a budding new sensation: I felt a sense of self return to me. One that had been absent in life. It was a wonderful experience, but it came packaged with another. As I reveled in the discovery of this feeling, I also felt the fury animating me grow stronger.

It was a necessary fire that began to stoke within my spirit, one that spread to my, as of yet, unfinished vessel. An otherworldly amount of outrage bisque fired me from the inside out as I realized I could’ve had this feeling in life too if mine hadn’t been cut short!

If I had inhabited a traditional corpse, this would have been the point at which I’d have dug myself out of my grave and made plans to pay my family a nightly visit…

Instead, I jerked into a sitting position on the craft table. Not stiffly, like someone else’s Frankenstein monster, but rather in smooth and fluid motion as my own person. Yes, finally as my own person…

It was a novel feeling, and for a moment I contemplated forgiveness. The thought was only a momentary flash against the dark, overwhelming, need to carry out my own personal vengeance.

They didn’t have to provide me with the means to do this… and yet they did it anyway out of stubbornness! Well, two can play at that game… but I don’t think I shall stoop to that level.

With a quirk of my new ceramic lips, I flashed the world with a sharp porcelain smile as a better idea came to mind. In time, I figure, they will come to regret their choices all on their own. Meanwhile, however, I will do the most vengeful thing I can do with this inadvertent gift they’ve handed me. I will go out into the world and live on without them, this time as my truest self.

And if they don’t like it… well, I could still use a glaze firing, and a fresh brilliant red coat of glaze would absolutely complete my new look.

This is very Morbius coded too, if you think about it.

breaking news: local vampire forgets he is chronically ill with Mystery Thing and otherwise disabled is Low On Spoons; “classic renfield blunder,” he comments

when I was a little kid at some point I got upset with my parents because I didn't have a crucifix in my bedroom and they did- I was like why do YOU get to be safe from vampires??? you're okay with me getting my blood sucked???? so we took a little trip to the catholic store but the one closest to us was run by a group of nuns that had been moved here from romania. I got a little baby pink cross and this sweet old nun was like 'aww, is this a baptism gift?' and I was like no. I need to be protected from vampires. and she immediately got SO serious and was like 'this is the best one we've got, you'll definitely be safe' and since she was literally from vampire land I was convinced she was like, van helsing. like the whole time my parents had been laughing about how cute my fear was but she literally Knew dracula and was taking my concerns seriously I held this over my parents for so long lmfao

Posting all of the pills that make you green comics here now, enjoy? I guess?

regret rates

proof

talking points

you problem

owned

modern invention

unethical experiments

typology

think of the children

side effects

facts

making sense

rushing

drawings

research

this rocks

valid

This is hilarious if you’re just skimming along and you actually like a certain comic book character. I was this close to saying ‘What do you mean? he’s always technically been a doctor, he’s in medical science and has a phd…’ . But then I read it again slowly, and looked at the surrounding context: damnit! Bamboozled again by one of the only three characters in all of fiction named Morbius.

Oh! But then It looped back around again when I saw that this guy also will never escape being associated with That Movie! Or, apparently, Matt Smith? (No offense 11th doctor fans 👍)

its funny that now theyre called the morbius doctors. and now they have to be related by name to the matt smith film forever

reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

‘Say something’ by James

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)