He Understands

had a dream that someone suggested the best gender neutral form of address would be Mþ (pronounced Myth) and i immediately said "mith me with that gay shit HEYOOO" and woke up at 4:30am hanging sideways off of my bed

today we post everett true

I've decided to start a fight

anyways geometry sucks algebra best math

Guys guys guys guys guys guys GUYS

HOSEA SNORES

thinking about the video where a bunch of guys get together to un-corrupt a blastoise that got bad egged years ago in a leafgreen game and how that whole scenario is like. the loving side of cosmic horror. you are a blastoise. you trust your trainer. you've been through countless battles together, and while they never say anything, you can tell your trainer loves you. what you don't know is that your trainer is, at all times, being puppeted by intelligent forces outside of your dimension, holding knowledge far beyond the scope of anything you could ever know. they know things about your world that you do not; that nobody in your world ever could. the distinction between your trainer and this creature is minimal. at the same time, this creature is not god. it does not have infinite knowledge; it understands far greater than you, yet in still a very limited capacity. they understand what your world is made up of and how it can be manipulated to fit your whims. this creature loves you. your trainer loves you. they love you so much that they want to help you become stronger. they manipulate the very laws of your world to attain this feat. however, they did it wrong. they didn't know what they were doing, and the makeup of your being- everything you ARE- was twisted. you are no longer a blastoise. you are a bad egg. your trainer remains the same as ever. everything continues on, the same as it ever was, yet you cannot be what you once were. your trainer tries over, and over, and OVER again to hatch you, but you never become what you once were. you are a bad egg. there are other bad eggs now, other pokemon you used to know; pokemon you helped your trainer catch, pokemon you may have even fought alongside. now you're all bad eggs, sealed away by ancient protective magic known as Code. you never knew such a thing existed. you wonder if you're dangerous now. your trainer sets you in a box. over the years, he forgets which box you're in. unbeknownst to you, the creature is panicking, trying everything it can possibly think of to restore you to your blastoise state. the creature is just a child. he carries the pain of your loss long into adulthood; in his mind, he is responsible for your death. in the grand scheme of the universe, you do not matter; you're a "game". a few lines of code and some pixels. you do not Exist. and yet, you are mourned. and yet many others just like you are mourned by many others just like him. the world has been still for many, many years. you don't know this, because your world does not contain an internal clock. time doesn't really exist for you; it's a concept far outside of your reality. and yet, it is important. your creature contacts another of its kind. it shares the story of its sin, the insignificant act of corrupting you beyond repair. it shares this story in hopes that it could save you. the other creature recalls its own destruction of a world not unlike yours. it agrees to help. many creatures within the world outside of yours have gathered all together, using technologies familiar and unfamiliar with one collective goal in mind: to rescue you. specifically you. your loss is widely considered nothing. and yet, they put in incredible effort. obstacle after obstacle, they perform miracles for your sake. they copy your world; they use strange windows to view it, they layer your world over itself many times over to view it from every angle. they dig deep into the very makeup of your universe just trying to find you. one of them uses a method that only he has access to, in all the world, to find you. and they do. you have lost your name and everything else that makes you you, but there is something that remains in tact, that makes you findable; a piece of "data", an invisible quality to you that you and your trainer would never see, something you could never possibly know about. this is what ultimately makes you you, and not another blastoise. slowly but surely, they begin to put you back together. it's much harder than it needs to be, it is far too much effort for one

creature in one game that will never be touched again, and yet they do it. they race against the clock, stressing endlessly, sweating bullets and crying out in relief when they finally find the exact values, the last pieces of invisible quality that makes it YOU. you are now a blastoise. you are now "legitimate" to the game. you do not know it yet, but your trainer - your creature - is waiting for you, excited to Transfer you into new worlds until you are where he wants you. until you are safe. you also do not know that at this time, two of you exist. there is the You, here, being put together, manipulated through the fabrics of reality to restore your original form. and there is the Original you; the one waiting home, on the cartridge. the Real you. you are a clone, but you are not. you are a new pokemon, but you are the original. you are both corrupted, and legitimate. you are many things. the new you is saved, and this version of your world- this version that has fixed you, and only you- is re-uploaded, overlayed and overwritten to the original. you safely arrive. You are a blastoise. You were a bad egg, for a short time. But now you are a blastoise again. your trainer acts the same as ever, because he cannot display anything that would suggest he notices the difference. you do not know what happened. you have no idea. you have no idea how much you are loved.

Why not

i want. a cicada on one arm and a crayfish on the other

Almighty Tumblr user Teaboot, what is your wisdom?

uh

You don't have to eat the gross jellybeans, you can just eat the ones you like, they have no nutritional value so there's nothing wrong with tossing em, candy is for fun not for food

Spiders and other household bugs are repulsed by cedar and lavender- you can get cedar balls online like how people used to sell mothballs and use em to keep spiders out of your closet

When you unplug an appliance from a wall there may still be an electrical charge in it for a sec so don't touch the metal end of the plug or you might get zapped a bit

Tiger's eye gems are a type of asbestos so if you crack or chip your tiger's eye you should probably not wear it anymore idk I'm not a rock scientist

If you wanna stay warmer when camping you should leave your sleeping bag rolled up until the moment you go to bed cause the fabric can absorb humidity in the air and make it damp and colder. Also fresh socks before you go to bed, even if your day ones still seem dry

Rayon, Viscose, and Lyocell are all made of plant fibers so if you're looking for clothing made of natural materials they are probably safe, they're not plastic, and they're often recycled

Capsaicin is fat soluble, so if you eat something too spicy then drinking milk or cream will wash it away better than water. Swishing with vinegar should also work too if you're desperate

Fish are WAY more maintenance than you think they are. Goldfish can live well over a decade under proper care. Fish are not "easy" pets for the love of God. And they're smarter than you think they are

People having seizures are not going to swallow their tongue. At worst they may bite it. Hitting their head on something is a far bigger risk. Don't put shit in their mouth.

Children are more sensitive to bitter tastes as an evolutionary safety measure against accidental poisoning. If theycdont like eating something because it's bitter, remember that the taste is stronger to them.

Most symptoms of hauntings are also symptoms of gas leaks and black mold. Whether or not you believe in ghosts you should probably check you're not being poisoned before you drop money on a spirit medium

Purple skittles are grape flavour in some places like North America and blackcurrant in places like the UK. I personally prefer blackcurrant

Saguaro cacti can weigh literal tons and will crush you to death if they fall on you

Palm trees are technically grass

Oh god... Not again...

OH GOD DAMNIT IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN

SANS IS THE CONSTANT VARIABLE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE SANS

You see it's quite simple: if they call the earth Gaia, it's fantasy. If they call it Terra, that's sci-fi