The Idea Of English As A Mother Tongue Is So Strange To Me, In My Head English Is How Ppl Communicate

Vegas and the Hedgehog dilemma

*Spoilers for episode 10*

Since episode 10 has been out, I’ve read a lot about Stockholm syndrome and Lima syndrome, normally used to justify relationships forged between abductors and their captives. While emotional psychology is not my forte (my area of expertise being language), what really caught my attention was the little hedgehog that I’m assuming Vegas has as a pet. Of all the attention given to details in his study room, the Virgin Mary with a skull, the gag ball, the lamp with green shade, the caged animal lit a bulb on my head.

Has anyone heard about the Hedgehog dilemma?

In short, hedgehogs are nocturnal animals with spines around their bodies. Unlike porcupines, their spines are way smaller and less noticeable but hard and painful in the same way. If not more. Similar to a cactus, you are aware of the large spines but sometimes the smaller ones go undetected, and then it is when you get prickled.

The hedgehog dilemma is really about intimacy. Like any other animal, hedgehogs long for physical warmth during winter and the way to obtain it is to get close to other hedgehogs. However, because they are not able to retract or shed their spines (and risk being eaten by predators), they end up stinging and hurting each other. In order to avoid pain, they need to keep a physical distance. Now let’s transpose this metaphor to human intimacy. People long for intimacy and warmth from other human beings. It is part of our psyche and crucial for our emotional stability. And intimacy can be at many levels – physical, emotional, sexual. However, because of one’s emotional baggage (or any other baggage – external, social, you name it), humans cannot get close to each other without hurting each other as well.

Now let’s transpose this dilemma onto Vegas.

Vegas.

Vegas Theerapanyakul.

Vegas, as I assume and from the hints we receive in the drama so far, has grown up in a very unhealthy environment. His father is everything but benevolent. His father does not accept his relationships, much less his sexuality. His father, and all the surrounding circumstances has made him use manipulation for survival. Vegas is, on a superficial level, cold, scheming, a psychopath I dare to say. He uses people to achieve his ends, he relishes in torture, and once they lose their purpose, he shoots them. There is no guilt or hesitation when he pulls the trigger (compare to how many times Kinn has pulled the trigger so far in the series).

Vegas is seemingly the perfect villain, but has anyone stop to think that he is hurt, so hurt beyond repair at this point of the series? Vegas is a hedgehog – he has deadly spines around him that he leaves a trail of devastation whichever he goes. But more than anything, Vegas longs for the warmth that he wants but never got. The scene with Tawan in front of the mirror, even when naked (which is one of the major steps one can take in terms of intimacy – to be naked with someone else and not be judged) feels rather fake and the complete opposite of intimacy. There are huge walls around Vegas there. It is almost as if Vegas had detached from his true-self and only a hollow version of him is left there to entertain Tawan and his delusion.     

So Vegas the hedgehog must have tried to become close to someone but the same way he has hurt others, others have hurt him. And rejected him – his father, the main family, Kinn (who I think he looks up to more than despise).

But we have another hedgehog in the series – Pete.

Pete’s spines are also out there – his smiley persona, his outgoing and carefree self. Pete strikes me as someone who is nice to everyone, but not really close to anyone. While Vegas has seen countless people succumb to his torture, Pete is the one to remain standing and refusing to entertain him.

No, no, no. Let’s rephrase that. Pete is the one to be able to see beyond the spines and accept Vegas.

No, no, no. Let’s rephrase it again.

Pete is the one to be able to bear the pain of Vegas’ spines and despite so, he is willing to remain by Vegas side. And Vegas, Vegas is not prepared to receive the full blow of Pete’s spines when these are out there pointing at him and stabbing him, inch by inch, skin and bones.

Because when it does, Vegas will understand what true intimacy is. And when he does, he will become so addicted to it that he will not know how to react.

And that, is what I am really waiting for.

(going back to my Kinn and Vegas protection corner)         

Anthony Ramos as Eladio

But I am so deeply lost in my own soul, how can I expect anyone else to understand me?

- Courtney Peppernell

@humantiproject.org

I ain't no snitch, but someone, who I am now indebted to and love dearly for this gift, sent me the finale of GAP the series. I will watch it through the official YouTube channel next week (I did what I said I would and watched it) because I understand the viewer count matters, but in case you want to know if my list of demands were met and if my crazy ass will shut the eff up now...

SPOILERS

I GOT MY PINK EXCHANGE!

Sam has pink ON HER BODY! It is ON HER BODY! The pink is ON HER BODY! It was her wedding dress! This is the hardest I have ever had to work for a color exchange. TWELVE EPISODES! I feel like I cut and dyed that fabric myself, then sewed it by hand. I was sweating, y'all, but it FINALLY happened, and it was glorious!

The entire wedding was pink. Pink everywhere! Pink on everyone!

We already knew they had pink rings, but they looked extra beautiful this week WITH THE PINK WEDDING DRESS!

I thought Sam would return to her Blue Beauty ways like her sister Nueng, but I am elated that this Black Brooder (Gray Gal) FINALLY picked up her wife's color, and this speech was amazing because it touched on the reason colors are important - they make life magical!

And we got Saint for OVER six minutes.

You sly mf, Saint. I love you!

vegas: you ruined all my plans 😡 i'm gonna make you regret it. get ready for 500 volts straight to the balls.

pete, a masochist:

Because of the large number of displacements, I wrote my daughter’s name on his hand so that I do not lose my little girl, Jourie. Please help me so that I can save my daughter’s life. We will travel from Gaza and go to a safe place.😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏💔👇👇🔗

@90-ghost ,@nabulsi @northgazaupdates2 @el-shab-hussin

@riding-with-the-wild-hunt

@sar-soor

macau saying "that was fast!" after pete and vegas kissed is really making me think about what vegaspete looks like from macau's point of view. imagine you're macau, your older brother has been shot four times by the major family and hospitalized. a guy you kind of know because he's your cousin's bodyguard shows up at the hospital and starts taking care of you and your brother. until now you've had like three conversations with him total. after a month of this weirdness you overhear this guy call your brother his owner and himself your brother's pet casually in conversation, and for some reason they start making out about it. like isn't being a teenager already hard enough

johnny // nct 127 - dj (230212 sbs inkigayo ending fairy)

The phone password.. and he presses twice :P

Canon.. 6969