Gaz: Ohhh, I Bet You Ghost Took My Saaaw.

Sonic, lovestruck: You're so pretty...

Shadow: Yeah, pretty depressed.

Sonic and Shadow: ...

Shadow: *looks at Sonic with realization* You were flirting, weren't you?

Sonic, deeply concerned: Well I was, but now I'm wondering if you're okay.

Gaz and Roach, staring at each other: 😐↔️😐

…

Roach: 😐🖕🏼

Gaz: YOU’RE A FUCKING ARSEHOLE!!

Roach: 🖕🏼😡🖕🏼

Gaz: I’LL SHIT IN YOUR FUCKING GARDEN!!! 🫵🏾🤬🫳🏾 🔫

Kipo: Hey is anyone d-

Wolf: Distressed?

Benson: Delusional?

Hugo: Dead inside?

Wolf: Down for murder?

Benson: Disappointed with life?

Hugo: Depressed?

Kipo: Done with their work—what is wrong with you all??

Kipo: Hey is anyone d-

Wolf: Distressed?

Benson: Delusional?

Hugo: Dead inside?

Wolf: Down for murder?

Benson: Disappointed with life?

Hugo: Depressed?

Kipo: Done with their work—what is wrong with you all??

Alejandro: Let’s fight. I’m in a shitty ass mood right now.

Rudy: About what?

Alejandro: I don’t know. What’s your favorite animal?

Rudy: …cheetahs?

Alejandro: Fuck cheetahs.

Yumyan with his leg stuck in a chair: Now, you may be asking, “How did you do this to yourself, Yumyan Hammerpaw?”

Yumyan: Well kids, Yumyan Hammerpaw has no fucking clue either.

*More Sonic Characters Phone Convos*

———

Rouge🧡: Hey

Rouge🧡: Can I call you?

You (Shadow): You can.

Rouge🧡: [MISSED CALL]

Rouge🧡: You didn't pick up?!

You (Shadow): I didn't say I'd pick up.

Gaz, high on painkillers: Did you know…

Gaz: Did you know that when you pet a cat…

Gaz: The cat is more cat-

Gaz: B-

Gaz: … 🫥

Gaz: Because you’re catting the pat-

Ghost, tasked to watch him: 🤨

Gaz: And the cat feels so the cat act…

Gaz: And that’s why the cat is 😃👍🏾

Gaz: *passes out*

Omega: _STOP FORGIVING MY CRIMES!_

Omega: _I WORKED SO HARD ON THOSE._

Rouge, patting Omega's arm: It's alright big guy, shhh...

Cop: Miss Rouge, this is supposed to be a private interrogation. You have to leave the room.

Rouge: He has abandonment issues! Stop forcing his hand!

Cop: ...

Omega: 👉👈🥺

(Shadow and Rouge hanging out on some rooftop, laying down, looking up at the stars)

Shadow: ...

Shadow: Rouge?

Rouge: Yeah?

Shadow: ...have you ever wanted to be a caterpillar?

Rouge: Uh...no, the fuck?

Shadow: Just a question, no need for that foul language.

Rouge: Ugh, you sound like Blaze when she's in a good mood. *punches his arm lightly, smiling*

Shadow: *chuckles softly*

Rouge and Shadow, staring at the night sky: ✨🌃

Rouge: Why'd you ask, Shadow?

Shadow: ...

Shadow: Just...you know...

Shadow: They eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Shadow: Sounds nice is all.

Rouge: Hm.

Rouge: You do know that they have a life span of two weeks, right?

Shadow: That can be another highlight.

Rouge, immediately sitting up: Shadow, no- 😨