Everything Happened Fast And Yet Slow At The Same Time. The Moment Of Eye Contact Was Brief, But It Struck

knowing the crowd would be too much for him to jump straight into, nolan grabbed a whiteclaw from the open bar and wandered along the coast. they stood looking out at the horizon, a few hundred yards away from the bustle of beach-goers. he contemplated chugging the drink in hopes of the alcohol to take a quick enough effect to make him ready to be social. he knew lottie would be wondering where he'd run off to, so he tried but the carbonated drink hurt his throat and his coughed up more than half of what he'd wanted to swallow. shaking off what'd splattered on him, nolan was horrified to see that someone had been witness to the whole thing. "looks like i retired the party animal too early." they tried to joke away the embarrassment. // @richardsonlouis

maybe it was because nolan was a serial monogamous, maybe it was just the fact that adrian could be so disrespectful; whatever the reason, nolan was not surprised to hear it was nothing serious. so expected in fact, he barely felt sorry for whatever poor girl had adrian confused. or the fact that'd he'd been swiping while there was still a possibility in his mind that the two were still together.

that was until he sees serra on the screen.

instinctively, nolan knocks the phone out of adrian's hand so it clatters on the table. "wha-- how-- what?!" though indirectly, it is the beginning of yet another series of questions serra has brought to him.

then he realizes, it is too late to play it cool. despite keeping adrian at somewhat of a distance, they've known each other long enough for nolan to get away with lying that he didn't know her. not with that reaction. instead of revealing just how well and for how long they've known serra, they decide to make it seem like less than it is. "sorry, man. just.. isn't that that influencer girl? you coulda' showed me another picture," he starts, then decides to quickly question him for more details to distract from his unease, but also to gather more information. "but what the fuck do you mean you don't know if y'all are together or not?" it was difficult to tone down his aggression.

adrian throws back the shot with ease, digits soon tapping impatiently against his thigh, itching for another drink. another cigarette. anything. he chuckles at nolan's question, "oh that? nah, that's-- i'm just seeing what's out there tonight. nothing serious."

as if on cue, his phone vibrates in his pocket. he almost drops it in his haste to pull it out, lips moving silently as he reads the notification on his lock screen: emrata, nbaonespn and serra recently added to their stories. "actually, i uh--" he looks up at nolan again, realizes he's never mentioned serra to him before, and well, they're close enough that he could tell him now, "--i've been seeing this girl for a while. or, used to, i guess, i don't fucking know--" he chuckles again, even though there's nothing funny about it and their last conversation left him feeling like complete shit.

a few, quick swipes and he's holding his phone out to nolan; on the screen, a half-naked selfie of serra, clearly meant for adrian's eyes only. "i mean, she's hot, right?" he asks with a shit-eating grin.

#Is this not what happened?!

there were many things for him to regret in life, but nolan always supposed that came with living. it was impossible for things to be perfect all the time, so mistakes were bound to happen. he could not deny that. could he admit to doing wrong in this instance, though? no, not when he watched her displeasure deepen day by day or when he listened to her complaints of the life she felt locked into. so why the anguish over something he stood by?

seeing her now, getting lost in her eyes all over again, nolan knew what it was he truly regretted. he wished he had made clear what he felt for her back then. shown her that what he had done wasn't just for her, but for both of them. he had been confident it would bring them closer together, not make them strangers to the point where he couldn’t even guess what she would say next.

of course they expected whatever she said to hurt. there was no way to avoid it, but when she spoke, a stinging sensation stabbed him in his chest and almost made him keel over.

a familiar panic began to wrap itself around his neck. he swallowed hard, pushing it down to the pit of his stomach. the acid will eat it away, he thought to himself as a bitterness began to fill his mouth. he refused to believe she didn’t want to ever see him again. if she’d been anyone else, he would’ve let the venom brewing in him to escape and return the pain. with serra, so sweet and so delicate in their eyes however, they couldn’t do it. so they swallowed it down again, the lump in their throat growing.

“i don’t think it’s funny,” he was finally able to get out. i think it’s really fucking sick actually, he almost spits out, but he doesn’t want her to run off and disappear again. he wants his explanation, needs it at this point. so he puts on a mask and pretends he’s fine; he knows how to act after all.

it’s when she stops and faces them that the facade begins to slip. they doubt they’re strong enough to keep it on much longer, so they let her have her way (an easy and natural thing for nolan). “okay. fine. not now,” he surrenders before going onto insist it’s not the end of things. “but we have to talk about this. i’ve missed you.. a lot. i know we can be close again if you only understood, so just… take time to talk to me.”

it’s a performance worthy of an academy award. serra walks away composed and confident, as if the entire situation wasn’t freaking her the fuck out, even as unseen tears stream down her face. it’s surreal?

sure, a part of her always knew that nolan would return to palmview, and perhaps on some level, she had been waiting and hoping for this moment. but, it feels too soon, far too soon. she’s not prepared for it, rendered breathless. 

when serra first saw the news, all she wanted to do was hug him, make sure he was okay. but now, it feels more natural to keep her distance. her confidant, her rock, now a stranger. from a distance, she watches him on the beach, the tide tickling his toes. there’s a calming familiarity that overcomes her, as if she’s watching an old video of their shared time back in los angeles, a faint, wistful smile filling her features.

she takes her time to meet him, her mind racing with a million thoughts of what to say, but none of them feeling quite right. now, only a few feet away, their eyes connect– and she had never envied the ghost crab more, wishing she too, could disappear into the sand. 

i’m really happy to see you, he says. is she happy to see him too? she’s unsure. pondering her words carefully, serra continues walking on the path he started. “i didn’t…” she starts, then falters, her eyes meeting his before looking away. “i didn’t…” again, she hesitates. “i didn’t think i even wanted to see you again.” she finally manages, her words coming out clumsily, in typical serra fashion.

“funny how i've ended up here.” she shrugs and chuckles nervously, the reality of living in his hometown just sinking in. “i can’t quite explain it,” she admits, unclear as to whether she’s talking about her arrival in palmview or her exit from los angeles. “—but, do we really have to do this?” she stops them short, her hand briefly finding their shoulder before she turns to face them fully. “you know exactly why i left, nolan. it's just... hard for me to look at you the same way."

it was true, nolan was aimless. palmview did something to him. it was almost as if he’d reverted back to teenage-hood whenever he got back home. not in every way, but in some sense. maybe it was the lack of work or the wanting to fit in, but feeling unknown to himself. whatever it was, it sent him on a walk, which often led to wandering around town for hours. today, however, he gained some direction when he saw a familiar face, only realizing he was in the market when she spoke to him. “i actually want to know nothing at all,” he replied with a wry grin, weighing whether or not he was speaking truthfully to himself as he took a seat next to her. “by all means, though, tell me what’s in there.” he nodded towards the smoothie, his smile still soft, now with curiosity. he allowed himself the comfort of being in the presence of someone who wasn’t his mother.

Where&When: the green spot // 6pm on Monday Starter for: @bnolan

This week had been hard and it had barely started. All she wanted to do was enjoy her green smoothie and cross items off of her grocery list but as usual, she had been bombarded with people that just wouldn't leave her alone. It was something she'd normally be cool with and readily accept/enthusiastically greet people but today had been a combination of a hard day at work and overwhelming attention.

She decided to sit down on a bench to catch her breath before seeing Nolan walking in her direction. "Please tell me you want to know what's in my smoothie and nothing else." She speaks with a bit of an exasperation in her voice.

knowing that serra was in town, it had become basically impossible for nolan not to seek her out anywhere he went. with what seemed all of palmview here at the beach party, he was willing to bet everything on running into her. that's what made lottie on his arm all the better. maybe it was petty and immature, but he truly believed that if she saw him with someone else, then maybe she would understand how he had felt all those years ago.

all feelings of entitlement washed away with the waves when he caught sight of her. distressed. out of habit, they felt pulled towards her, so they followed her as she slipped away from the crowd as if a string connected the two and they could only be so far apart. he could explain to lottie later. right now, his old friend needed him.

when he finally caught up to serra, nolan spoke with great tenderness. "hey. what's wrong?" he moved closer to her. like the water on the shore, whatever was washed away was also brought back; he felt compelled to bring her in his arms. he knew how to comfort her. how to ease her away from hurt to the point of laughter. but the reality of them being out of each other's lives for so long and having grown into different people had hit him hard these past few days, so he stopped himself from reaching out to her, though he was still close to her. "you can't leave yet. i was just about to bust a move. you really don't wanna' miss that." // @serraszn

unwilling to admit that they might be transparent, nolan didn't try too hard to hide their new distaste for knox. they knew it wasn't his fault adrian was such a douche and really, the jealousy nolan felt from learning about his and serra's relationship (ongoing or not) was no one's problem but theirs. still, with the two being best friends, they saw him as guilty by association. and it showed in the flat "congratulations," he said to knox when he shared the good news. "i'm sure you worked hard for it." // @thalassophilez

despite being somewhat of public figure, nolan did not do well in crowds. less so since the riot. after spilling most of his first drink, he had made his way back to charlotte and played the gentleman by offering to get them drinks. he held both of them in his hand, though he was not yet ready to get back into the thick of it. spotting another wallflower, nolan scooted closer to her just in time to catch her remark. it made him chuckle. "giving yourself a pep talk?" he questioned, a gentle smile still lingering on their lips. "mind if i have one too?"

for: everyone. where: the sunset villa's beach party event. " this should be fun. " alyssa mumbled to herself and held the glass of her drink in her hands. taking a few quick sips from her drink. her eyes now began to scan around at the party. the music that was playing was so loud that it was blasting through her ears. the blonde was just standing here and waiting for a few more minutes before going around and mingling.