The “gender Roles And Sexism Are Hot But Queer People Are Valid” To “conversion Kink Is Hot, But

Just realized I refilled my pill organizer for the week and it didn’t even occur to me to put hrt in there. I’m used to being off of it now, it didn’t even register as an option. I have a huge stockpile of spiro and estradiol pills piling up.

Huge points to anyone willing to try to convince me to poor water in those pill bottles and ruin them <3

Seriously come in my dms and manipulate me into doing that pleeeease. that sounds so hot.

What's the most depraved thing you've done for the sake of getting off?

A lot of my answers to this would be some variation of pretending to be someone I’m not. My biggest kink is transformation and that has led to me doing some catfishing or giving falsehoods about my identity.

I think specifically the thing I feel most guilty about is when I was doing some detrans rp and I sent a pic of my face and they *recognized me* (I know I keep alluding to my micro-celebrity but I’m really not that famous, still, sometimes people know who I am) and I, in my horny daze, decided it would be super hot if I pretended to be some random person catfishing as myself. This really hurt the person I had been talking to as they had previously seen me as kind of a role model and they got really upset and threatened to blackmail me. All that sent me into a deep depression and resulted in me not uploading any videos for months.

Not really a sexy answer, more of a sad one, but this blog is nothing if not honest.

I have now filled my pillbox for the week aaaand… no hrt!

I have a bunch of left over progesterone from when I used to take progesterone and I’m curious if that would turn me back into a girl mentally.

Maybe that sounds crazy but I remember it making me feel a lot more feminine back when I took it.

I took half my morning dose of hrt this morning, I guess with the intention of getting myself back on it? I haven’t taken my hrt for months. After taking it I quickly thought “How silly of me to think I could seriously commit to going back to being a girl.”

Fact is I can’t commit to either right now. I shaved my head 7 months ago and at this point my hair is kinda long… for a guy.

If I could commit to being a guy I’d go get a haircut and throw out my hrt, if I could commit to being a girl I’d take better care of myself and take my hrt everyday.

I’m doing neither. Genuinely could use someone throwing out my hrt and just shaving my head whether I like it or not.

sea 🎀

feel free to make bad choices with me in dms

True to my promise in my detrans notes game I have bought boxers to replace my panties. As a bonus they’re all boring, manly grey and black. I’m still a little nervous to take the step of throwing all my panties out but I’ll do that soon.

Been hearing from a lot of people that they find my genuine public exploration of my gender identity really hot because I’m clearly also still jacking off to it and because clearly this is a very real thing for me. Honestly it’s a lot of internalized transphobia. I want to be a cis girl not a trans girl, and if I can’t I might as well just be a cis guy.

I think maybe I should shave my head again. Trap myself in this for longer.

hi baby, i'd love to go into your dms and send you some pretty pics to look at... but only if you admit that you're a perverted man (fixed fake boy)

Do you mean I’m a fixed fake girl? I promise I am just a gross perverted man now.

especially if it's cringe loser fandom stuff for pathetic gooners. If you can't tell from the pic I also like censored porn (and I like egirls)

Need people in my dms to encourage me to continue to detransition, since I’ve been having some doubts. I’m still off hrt, but I’m really tempted to shave and ruin the notes game. Someone needs to stop me!!!