Bpdnanaseharuka - I Deleted But Remade

still thinking about "decolonising" missionary work.

the way you decolonise missionary work is by not doing missionary work

the way you decolonise missionaries is like this:

Been a while since I did some Namine/COM angst

On White Fear & Creating Diverse Transformative Works

So whenever fandom tries to address the question “Why aren’t there more works featuring characters of color?” there are a myriad of (predictable) responses.  One of which is appearing with increasing frequency: “Because we (usually: white creators of transformative works) are afraid of getting it wrong.”

And like.  I’ve already addressed how ‘thinking you’ll get it wrong’ is a failure of both imagination and of craft/skill (and a symptom of the racial empathy gap, which I forgot had a proper name when I wrote that post).  Meanwhile, @stitchmediamix absolutely accurately pointed out that the ‘fear’ being discussed is fear of being called racist, not necessarily fear of failure.

Now, we could go into the whole absurdity of white fragility here, but google is a thing and “white fragility” is discussed all over the place and I trust ya’ll to do the work if you actually give a shit about this subject… which I assume you do, if you’re reading this – but if you’re just here to find a way to dismiss the issue at hand, I’m gonna save you some time and recommend you scroll past.

Writers can also be fragile, especially in transformative works communities, where “if you don’t have anything nice to say, hit the back button and keep your mouth shut” is the primary expectation wrt feedback, and anything that deviates from that is considered a mortal insult (do you vageublog about my fic, sir?).  But if we’re willing to deploy an array of tools to make our writing not-My-Immortal-bad, from spellcheck to wikipedia to in-depth historical research to betas and britpickers and so on, then we should be willing to employ equivalent tools to avoid writing racist stories.

Incidentally, writing stories that erase/ignore extant characters of color, especially if they’re prominent in the source text? is racist.  So avoiding writing characters of color altogether is not the solution to making your writing not-racist.

And, okay.  I feel it’s important to acknowledge here, as I have before, that the Fear of Fucking Up is a very real fear that genuinely does affect people’s enthusiasm for / likelihood to write, regardless of the validity or fairness of that Fear’s origins, and I’m going to be generous enough to assume that there are some people who are acting in good faith when they say “I want to, but I’m scared.”

So. This is for those who are acting in good faith, from the perspective of a white fan who has written fic about characters of color in several fandoms and never gotten pilloried for it, even when I know for a fact (in retrospect) that I’ve fucked up details.

(oh, side note: I know this is mostly tackling things from a writing perspective, but a lot of this can apply to creating transformative works overall with a few tweaks.)

First: realize that the likelihood of getting called out is actually pretty low.  And fans of color aren’t as Mean and Angry and Unfairly Sensitive as some people want us to believe.  (Do you vagueblog about That Dumpster Fire Meta, sir?  /  No, sir, I do not vagueblog about That Meta sir; but I do vagueblog, sir.)

This is not to say that there aren’t people out there who’re more than willing to make a (justified) stink about egregiously racist writing.  But it’s actually very rare to get targeted, especially publicly by a large number of unhappy fans.  Because you know what? most fans, including fans of color, want to just have fun in fandom as much as anyone else.

It’s just, y’know, a little harder for fans of color to ‘just have fun’ when us white fans are showing our asses with stories involving “Dragon Lady” Elektra or “Angry Black Woman” Sally Donovan or “Spicy Latin Lover” Poe Dameron.  And sometimes us white fans only listen to what fans of color are saying when they make a Big Deal out of it. 

That’s not a failure of their ability to stay calm.  That’s our failure to listen before they get loud and organized.  Because I’m willing to bet that people who get called out publicly? got a few polite, private messages about their screwup first, and they doubled down instead of listening. 

Also: there is a thing where, no matter how politely they word their critique, fans of color, especially black fans, are more likely to be unjustly perceived as ‘mean’ and ‘angry’ by white fans.  Again, that’s our failure, not theirs.  Plus, even if they are angry, that doesn’t automatically mean they’re wrong (see: Tone Argument).

Step Two is: pay attention to discussions about racist tropes in fiction.  Yes, even when it’s crit of our favorite shows/movies/characters/etc.  If you understand the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope and why it’s harmful, or you understand the Bechdel-Wallace test, or you can have a meaningful discussion about Mary Sues, or you can (justifiably) rail about how Bury Your Gays sucks, then you can develop a similar appreciation for racial biases and stereotypes.  And then you can find ways to avoid them.  

No, no one’s expecting you to memorize bell hooks so you can write a drabble about Iris West, or demanding you write a dissertation on media stereotypes wrt the simultaneous fetishization and desexualization of Asian women (who aren’t a monolith, either, but Hollywood doesn’t seem to know that) before you’re ‘allowed’ to write Melinda May in a story, but like.  Pay attention when people, especially fans of color, are talking about common tropes so that you don’t unthinkingly replicate or perpetuate them in your fic.

Yes, racist writing can involve more than just thoughtless parroting of harmful tropes, but my best guess is, ninety-nine times out of a hundred, fanwork getting ‘called out’ in fandom involves those tropes.  So avoiding them takes your chances of getting criticized from ‘low’ to ‘almost nonexistent.’  Less to fear, see?

Step Three is: more research – basically, at least as much as you’d be willing to invest in any equivalent white character.  @writingwithcolor is a great blog, and has links to additional resources; .  If you’re the type to get a beta or a britpicker, find a sensitivity reader or a beta of the appropriate background.  Not all fans of color are willing to do this kind of unpaid labor, just as not all fans are willing to britpick/beta, but they’re out there.  Approach them respectfully, and listen to them if they say that something in your story looks off.

It’s worth noting here that writing about characters of color doesn’t need to involve - and in fact, some advice recommends avoiding - telling Special Stories About Racism.  Stories about characters of color don’t need to be about slavery or civil rights or the constant parade of microaggressions they have to deal with daily in order to be realistic or compelling (or angsty, for those who love writing angst, as I do).  Research can turn up useful information that can inform our choices as writers, but if we don’t share the oppression our characters face, it’s not our job to tell stories specifically about that oppression.

Step Four is: before posting, anticipate the worst.  What will you do if someone says you fucked up?  If your answer is “argue with them and talk over their concerns,” stop.  Remember that you’re not a victim of a ‘mean fan of color,’ but that you’ve probably written something that they consider harmful.  Being told that you wrote something racist isn’t an attack on your moral fiber.  You’re not an irredeemable monster if you fuck up, but your response to being told you fucked up is far more telling.  Acknowledge their concerns, fix the issue if you can, learn from your mistake, and fail better next time.

You cannot improve if you don’t try in the first place.  Failure to try is failure, so try your best, and improve incrementally – just as you already do as a writer with any story.

In conclusion: The 4 Steps to Getting Over Yourself as a White Fanfic Writer: (1) recognize that the likelihood of getting called out is pretty low; (2) educate yourself about the most common racist writing issues, so that likelihood will be even lower; (3) do your due diligence when writing; (4) in case of the worst: apologize, fix the issue, learn from the experience, fail better in the future.

(And again, google is your friend – there are a lot of people who’ve written about this subject, like Kayla Ancrum, Morgan Jenkins, the mods at Writing with Color, Thao Le, and Monica Zepeda, among many, many, others.  I’m merely sharing my own perspective from what I’ve learned from listening to a lot of smart people, in case it might help some of you – if it doesn’t, keep looking, a ton of great resources are out there.)

Having a ship shoved down your throat because it’s the most popular in a fandom ಠ_ಠ

Having your own ship violated in fanfiction for the sake of the popular ship ಠ_ಠ

Having posts about your ship hijacked by the popular ship ಠ_ಠ

Getting really fucking tired of hearing about the popular ship and then being asked how you can dislike it so much ಠ_ಠ

this post by @writing-is-a-martial-art x revolutionary girl utena

Quintessence, part II

This is a two-part comprehensive post on quintessence, its functions and role within the narrative of Voltron: Legendary Defender (VLD), and its effects on particular key characters - Zarkon, Haggar, Lotor, Allura, Shiro, and Keith. Part one found here. Images can be better viewed on another tab after right-clicking (PC) or control+clicking (mac) on them, then choosing “Open Image in New Tab”. As with any analysis, these are my interpretations of the text and not meant to be treated as canon, though I strive to support my readings with canonical evidence. This post contains spoilers for all aired six seasons, including SDCC 2018 information.

In 1.01, Allura states, “The quintessence of the pilot is mirrored in his lion.” Earlier on in the same episode, however, we get the first implied mention of quintessence through Haggar after she senses something amiss across the galaxies.

Likely due to her exposure to the trans-reality comet and deep connection to sorcery, Haggar also detects something off about Lotor, who has secretly been building the Sincline ships out of the trans-reality comet he seized from Voltron after the Paladins ventured into another reality. (4.03)

During 6.02, we learn that the Galra were able to design sensors that recognize the lions’ signature energy within limited range. This allowed Galra scout teams to score through the systems under Zarkon’s command after the discovery of the Red Lion. 

The signature is nearly identical to that of the Red Lion’s.

How did you know to look for the Blue Lion on Earth? We didn’t. After Sendak found the Red Lion, the Galra engineered a way to pick up the lions’ signatures from close range. Zarkon had thousands of scouts searching for them. 

(Is it coincidence that the first time the Galra are introduced in the series, they were scouting near Kerberos? Doubtful, but nothing is certain yet. It is clear that over a year later, Zarkon located the Blue Lion on Earth, prompting Ulaz to help Shiro escape from the empire.)

Because Alfor connected Allura’s life force to the lions’, she can locate their whereabouts by using the Castle of Lions and enhance Voltron’s quintessence. (1.01, 4.06)

Furthermore, she can even carry the quintessence of another living being; after learning Oriande’s secrets, this ability becomes refined. This is key for the Balmera-Altean symbiotic relationship and for Shiro’s “resurrection”. (Allura heals the Balmera in the episode called “Rebirth” even…) (1.05, 1.08, 6.07)

Interestingly enough, Keith at times has shown a similar aptitude to perceive and guide quintessence without outside assistance or mechanical instruments. Somehow he is able to find Shiro inside the Garrison’s quarantine tent with no delay. (It is important to note that many times energy is detected, it is quintessence or quintessence-related, so bear that in mind.) (3.04)

He is the one who sensed the Blue Lion in a general vicinity but couldn’t pinpoint its specific location until Hunk, Pidge, and Lance came along.

Inexplicably, he identifies the Red Lion’s position within Sendak’s war ship (after echoing Shiro’s mantra regarding patience/focus), an impressive feat unlike the other Paladins finding their lions because of the long range and lack of provided coordinates. (1.01) 

It is quite analogous to how Allura is able to track down the compass stone located inside Haggar’s lair with Lotor’s encouragement. (5.06)

The Red Lion has attuned with Keith in a similar fashion, finding Keith when he and Allura are stranded and reacting violently as Keith chooses his role as a paladin over recovering his identity during the Blade of Marmora trials. 

Right as Keith is engulfed in red, the Red Lion’s eyes illuminate. One can infer that these cases are only possible through the quintessence linking a pilot and their lion together. (A really nifty blink-and-miss detail is Allura’s eyes shift towards Keith when Shiro says “connect”, considering Allura’s composure turns fraught as she stands by the sidelines with the rest of the team as the Red Lion batters the Marmoran headquarters.) (2.06, 2.08)

During the assault on Naxzela, Coran notifies the Blades of Marmora’s strike team that the oncoming Galra fleet ceased quite a distance away from the planet, confounding Keith at the uncharacteristic move. Then he realizes that it spells danger, and acts upon that intuition with the rebel forces. Indeed, Haggar has repurposed and activated Naxzela as a bomb that could wipe out at least ten solar systems. (4.06)

When Voltron suffered from the effects of a virus on a sub-molecular level, Allura revealed that the bayards amplify each paladin’s life force; Keith is the first to employ his bayard while the lions are joined as Voltron, bisecting Myzax. (5.03, 1.03) This amplification may have saved Shiro’s life in the battle against Zarkon and evolved Voltron’s sword from standard to blazing sword. (2.13)

With Keith piloting the Black Lion, it was able to locate clone Shiro - likely because it sensed original Shiro’s signature energy, the foundation of the copy’s essence - before he could expire in his escaped vessel. (3.05)

Here are some more visuals to illustrate and compare Keith’s innate ability.

Notice the difference in coloring and framing of Shiro seeing through the Black Lion’s eyes, Alfor seeing through the Red Lion’s, and Keith seeing through the Black Lion’s eyes. (1.02, 3.07, 6.06) Alfor and Shiro’s are direct parallels to each other as they form and communicate through a psychic link with the Lions, whereas Keith’s is a superimposition. His eyes also do not glow yellow with the Lion’s; they glow in blue, the color of pure/concentrated quintessence. 

Allura as she prepares Voltron to unlock the rift reflects the former examples as well. (6.07)

Keith’s instance as a medium for quintessence to activate the Black Lion’s wings/teleportation ability is similar to what transpired when Allura absorbed Shiro’s quintessence from the Black Lion and integrated it with clone Shiro’s body. (6.07) 

Another comparison can be drawn to when she innately counteracts against Naxela’s magical gravity; blue quintessence surrounds her before outlining Voltron. (4.06)

Altean alchemy along with quintessence manipulation facilitates restoration, which is further foreshadowed by Haggar awakening both her memories of a past life and Zarkon from his coma through sorcery, and reverting to Honerva once she gains even more knowledge from undertaking Oriande. (3.07, 6.01, 6.07)

Perhaps Keith’s connection to quintessence is similar to Allura’s (and by extension, to Alfor’s and Haggar’s), just on a smaller scale. After her, he even comes next in line when they channel their energy together to open the rift in 6.07; I bring this up because based on top-down sequence, Pidge should come after Lance as she is the left arm, but Hunk, one of the legs, precedes her. I postulate that it indicates the ranking of each paladins’ sensitivity to quintessence.

Keith has constantly resonated with quintessence almost on an instinctual level. 

After Voltron enters the rift, just like Alfor, Keith is the first paladin to be focused on; I find this significant because in 3.07, Alfor is the one guiding his team into the rift, since it is Altean alchemy which makes it possible to enter it. However, instead of the frame focusing on Allura, it is Keith. 

Keith, again, is the focal paladin as the team pursues and experiences the visceral surge of energy from the quintessence field. (6.07)

Getting power from the quintessence is the only way we can match his strength.

All this quintessence is keeping us at full power. It’s more than that. Can you hear your Lions talking to you? Voltron is capable of more than we ever imagined.

Later, after saving the multi-universes as we know them, the team confronts the state of Shiro. Keith informs them that he interacted with Shiro in the Black Lion's consciousness, where the Lion retained Shiro's essence ever since Zarkon was grievously incapacitated. Shiro's life force resonates with Keith's, allowing them to communicate with each other in the astral plane; because quintessence is also involved, both Keith and Allura are instrumental to Shiro's reanimation. (6.06, 6.07)

This body is barely living, but Shiro’s spirit is alive. It’s inside the Black Lion. I’ve heard him talking to me.

We’re glad you’re back, Shiro. Rest. 

As to why Keith is quintessence-sensitive is left unanswered for now. Many, including myself once upon a time, theorize he is part Altean, which is not far-fetched, but it seems like too easy of a conclusion to settle upon. This reboot is known to twist itself in satisfactory ways. Going full circle, it was a deliberate choice to have him chase after the Blue Lion’s leads in 1.01 and the druid in 1.10, foreshadowing his hunt to find the enriched quintessence for over two seasons (and years). (4.01, 6.02)

It’s been two years. We can finally finish our mission.

I’m picking up some readings similar to those of the quintessence Ranveig found. This is the source of the readings. Let’s go check it out. (6.02)

Moreover, I believe Zarkon’s scouts encountering the Kerberos crew, Shiro’s return to Earth after Zarkon’s scouts located the Blue Lion, and the cave markings depicting a momentous arrival are connected, and may shed light on Shiro’s unique role within the story and on the probing question on everyone’s minds: why is Haggar so fascinated by him that her very agenda was to weaponize him?

Both Haggar and Allura have demonstrated the ability to harness and channel this mysterious substance for divergent purposes. They each use Altean alchemy to manipulate it. Haggar’s grand extraction of quintessence emphasizes her absolute disregard for life, the same disregard she stubbornly upholds prior to her reanimated state, which ultimately catalyzed doom for Daibazaal, Zarkon, herself, and even Lotor. Tangentially, I want to briefly touch on Lotor. Gradually Lotor’s goals are exposed, some intentionally given by him, and most times under pretenses and delusions. 

Due to the fact he was conceived before Honvera entered the rift, quintessence is part of his genetic make-up, slowing his aging as well as imbuing him with powers that may have granted him the Mark of the Chosen yet overall remained dormant until he once again returned to the quintessence field. 

(Notably, his marks look different from a typical Altean’s marks, and look similar to emaciated Honerva’s elongated marks before and after entering the rift. They both were immersed and came into contact with the rift creatures.) (5.06, 6.01)

Lotor’s fascination-turned-obsession for quintessence predates him. It is highly probable that Lotor will return from his prison, warped beyond recognition, just like and unlike his parents. Behind the veneer of charm and composure, quintessence reveals Lotor as a man completely consumed by his traumatic upbringing and heritage, keen to achieve his vision of peace with whatever brutal means necessary. But one does wonder... have we heard all there is to know about Lotor’s Altean colony and quintessence harvesting? Lotor has mentioned before that quintessence acquisition for him is something of an equivalent exchange, which echoes the Altean-Balmera rejuvenation ceremony. (1.07, 5.06)

And what did he mean when he does not wish to resort to the barbarism of the komar when he still gathered and harvested Alteans like livestock for over a millenia? (5.01) When, according to Romelle’s account, he exhausted them as scientific resources for his research on quintessence? When, in a particular perspective/interpretation based on one-sided evidence, he manipulated Allura to do his bidding by cultivating a veneer of charm and admiration for Alfor/Altea, appeasing her deference for her father, their shared culture and her wish fulfillment towards universal peace?  What other uses did Lotor have for the enriched quintessence? (5.01, 6.04, 5.06)

But in order to [create another Altean colony to increase their chances of survival], he needed to assess which Alteans were viable candidates to survive the journey. One by one, every Altean in the colony was given a series of tests.

Lotor is a monster and has been harvesting Altean quintessence for generations! 

Back to Haggar and Allura: as Haggar’s inverse, Allura serves as a conduit (like her name’s meaning - “Divine counselor” - suggests), transferring that life energy to mend others and to facilitate advancements. (1.08, 6.01, 4.06)

In the same vein, the komar and Lotor suffer the detrimental results of suffusing an extreme amount of concentrated quintessence. (2.13, 6.07)

We give Lotor all the power he wants.

What did you do in there? I transferred the excess power from Voltron. It’s a technique I learned on Oriande. Thanks to Lotor.

A running motif regarding Allura’s quintessence manipulation is that it is selfless. It emphasizes giving. This mirrors her character development from refusing to expose her worries and concerns, to becoming openly vulnerable to others. It commends dependability. That is how she connects with the Blue Lion, whereas stubbornly commanding it had been futile. (3.03)

Her trials in Oriande punctuate this point: she yields and presents her life as an offering, ultimately unlocking Oriande’s secrets. (5.06)

On the other end of the spectrum, Haggar uses force, puppeteering events to happen to her own benefit. (6.01)

She wields quintessence to create monstrous alterations using organic life, technology, and dark magic. Robeasts, an amalgamation of “robot beasts” helpfully coined by Hunk, are manufactured through an excruciating process of transferring a living being’s essence from its biological body into a massive artificial one. (1.03, 1.06)

I’ll audaciously throw in my speculation that clone Shiro is a sophisticated robeast that was...not-so-subtly foreshadowed back in 2.03; at least his glowing cybernetic arm counts. (1.01, 2.03, 6.05)

Here’s another observation I found. White/silver hair on a person seemingly insinuates quintessence (over)exposure (or more aptly the individual possessing quintessence-fused DNA). 

All the following characters have this hair type: Alfor, Allura, Allura’s mother, Lotor, eventually Haggar, and, with 6.07, Shiro. One wonders if Shiro’s white forelock in the beginning denotes the types of experiments Haggar forced upon him (and his clones…) during captivity. (3.05)

Speaking of clones, it’d be remiss to bypass clone Shiro’s amplified version of original Shiro’s negative traits relating to control and ruthless survival instincts; his actions seem more brutal after undergoing Haggar’s experimentations. And since learning that Project Kuron eliminated Shiro’s degenerative disease, one wonders if Haggar used quintessence to do so, just as she had done before for Kova. The unkempt appearance of Honerva poisoned by the quintessence and Shiro’s clone compromised by injections, as well as their increased assertion on authority, mirror each other. (1.11, 3.07, 1.03, 5.03, 6.04)

I digress again to mention that only white/silver haired individuals have been able to enter the trials - presumably Alfor, certainly Allura, Lotor, and Haggar/Honerva… Would that mean Shiro would undergo different trials proctored by Oriande’s guardian? Hardly a coincidence that clone Shiro vicariously experienced the trials, particularly being engulfed by its guardian lion, through Haggar as she manipulated her way into restoring herself.

We have yet to explore the reason why Shiro became heavily affected by Oriande, so I look forward to hopefully receiving answers in the upcoming episodes. But that’s for another post altogether. 

Six seasons of VLD has a lot to unpack, but I think I covered everything I wanted to discuss regarding quintessence for now… I’m sure future episodes will provide more topics to go over. I hope you enjoyed the read, and let me know your thoughts!

Edit: I included some bold italics regarding Lotor’s actions and the colony reveal. After some thought, it’s never made clear exactly if Lotor committed the very things Romelle passionately accused him of doing. Not to mention the incongruities found in her account; nothing was ever corroborated, almost as if this is something to resolve in later seasons. 

Stitch's Media Mix

What Fandom Racism Looks Like: The Problem With Preferences

Outside of the fandoms for Japanese media (anime and manga primarily) or the powerhouse Korean pop music Real Person Fiction (RPF) fandoms,

Stitch lays it out thoroughly, as usual, so there's no commentary I could add that would be better than just quoting what she says. I definitely recommend reading the whole thing, but here are a couple excerpts to give you an idea of the gist.

Excerpt 1:

Let’s return to the myth of preference. In fandom, as with online dating, folks think “preference” is a neutral word that shields them from the mere potential of having to interrogate why they seem to “prefer” white people as their faves. The thing is that this “preference” for white dudes isn’t all that neutral. A “preference” for white men is tied into centuries of racist propaganda that portrays whiteness as an ideal to the point where even people of color have trouble finding themselves or other people of color attractive.

[...]

Of course, that translates to fandom because fandom isn’t born in a vacuum. We don’t leave our ingrained prejudices in “the real world” when we log on to Tumblr or go for a scroll on the AO3. In fact, because many people in fandom curate their timelines to only show them their like-minded faves, they’re more likely to surround themselves with fans who think like they do and fanworks that reinforce the validity of their interests.

Excerpt 2:

Fantasies are just that – fantasies. On their own and in our heads, they can’t directly hurt people, and they provide the pleasure of partaking in the forbidden or the denied. For many people – especially marginalized people in unsafe or unhealthy positions in their daily lives – fantasies are all they have, and that’s important. However, in fandom spaces, fantasies don’t stay in people’s head, and they’re never on their own no matter what nonsense we fed about fandom and fiction not influencing/being influenced by reality. These fantasies come loaded with expectations, prior knowledge, stereotypes, trauma, politics, and a whole bunch of other stuff from the person fantasizing as well as other people who are aware of the fantasy. They get turned into fanworks that get thousands of views and hundreds of readers. After all, nothing we do or like or create is formed in a vacuum. In fandom spaces, fantasies that either exclude people of color entirely or reformat them as stereotypes for easy consumption (erotic and otherwise), are harmful because they are put forward without any awareness to a potential audience of thousands.

im playing ffx 😳 i love this silly guy

in the end all customer service workers are like the rose bride