I Tap The Mic. “Most People Don’t Want To Crawl Down Your Chimney And Steal Your Dog.”

I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

More Posts from Briashard and Others

2 years ago

what are some small things that make you less stressed?

2 years ago
Attempting To Get My Students To Fucking Come To Class

Attempting to get my students to fucking come to class

11 months ago

To the ones who want to vote 3rd party, or don't want to vote at all

I reblog political stuff, but I rarely make my own posts on this kind of thing, mostly because for as much as I read and I try to understand the U.S. Political system, I know I don't know everything and so I try to keep my mouth shut.

But I'm feeling so depressed and despondent today, after the Supreme Court ruling, and so I feel the need to make this post.

If you're someone who's wanting to vote 3rd party this November, or if you're not planning on voting at all because "Both sides bad", I deeply, deeply encourage you to do 2 things.

Look up Project 2025: Highly recommend watching this video in particular, but if it's too long or you don't want to watch, please look it up. It is very real, it is coming, and it should concern you.

Please consider your friends and family. Even if you yourself will not be directly affected by the Project 2025 plans, chances are very, very good that you know someone who will be directly affected by these plans.

I get it. You don't like either of them. I don't either. Biden isn't the best choice. Biden isn't someone you necessarily want in office. But our country is presently operating on a two party system. It's wildly unfair, but abolishment of the Electoral College and two party system is not this year's fight. No matter how fervently someone may believe their third party vote could change things, I guarantee you that this time, this election? It won't.

If you don't like either candidate, think about your family. Think about your friends. Think about what's at stake for those people. Even if you don't like either candidate, there's probably one you hate more.

To all of my disenfranchised, tired, hopeless, apathetic peers who feel like nothing matters and that they don't care about two old men fighting for the white house, I beg of you... Now is not the time to stop caring. Revolution can and will come. Radical change can and will come. But it has to start with creating a space that allows radical change.


Tags
4 months ago
Geordi LaForge meme: top image with Geordi raising his hand in warning, text, "Do not comply in advance": bossy, already a cliche, implies permission to comply later

Bottom image: Geordi with red lazers shooting from his visor, text: "Fuck you, make me!": leads by example, directs yelling at opposition instead of allies, easy to chant at a protest and put on a banner

stolen from bluesky.

1 month ago

Having a traumatic childhood means you cannot talk even objectively about your basic foundational experiences without it being "venting", even if you're not actually venting. You just straight up have a huge chunk of your life you can't talk about, full stop, without it being trauma dumping.

And it not being socially acceptable to talk about your own childhood is super alienating. Sometimes people want to know why, and any answer you can give them is going to be off putting.

It's to the point I get irritated when something I said is framed as venting when I'm literally just talking about my life experiences, doing my best to keep emotion out of it.

3 months ago

Public comment has been opened on changing passport forms. It's important that people who aren't trans please take a minute and say "hey this is bad". Please help. :)

I don't know if I think this will change anything, but it's a 5 minute investment of time, and it can't hurt.

4 months ago

Ways to be a nuisance in our year of 2025

(from personal experience)

Get a small box. Write "take as you need" on the side. Fill it with period products. Put them in public bathrooms, including men's rooms.

Find a pothole. Paint a dick on it. Either your town will fix it or the public will enjoy your masterpiece.

Apps like No Thanks, Boycat, and Boycott X (my personal fave) let you scan items for boycotting shit. Money talks.

Red Cards contains all the rights that everyone, citizen or not, is entitled to in this country. They come in a bunch of different languages. Print them, give them out, leave them in places that need it, etc.

Don't be a snitch. Know someone undocumented? Someone traveling for reproductive or gender-affirming care? No the fuck you do not.

If someone asks your help doing #5, be their cover. If you live where they're fleeing from: no you don't know where they went, no they didn't tell you anything. If you live somewhere people are going to: that is now your cousin, friend from high school, camping buddy, etc.

Here is a fake person generator including phone, email, and address. Here is a free VPN for desktop and mobile. Spam the shit out of those ICE tiplines, trans bathroom reporting forms, etc. Here is a thing that lets you flood an email. Make their system useless.

If you're white, you have way more freedom when it comes to interacting with cops. Distract and divert.

See Nazi shit? Tear it up, kick it down, paint it over. See a Nazi? Rip into them. If you can't, record them, post it, send it to folks connected to them. Do not let them know peace.

If you protest: nondescript outfit with a change of clothes, cover scars and tattoos, leave behind devices that can track you, and either don't drive or park far away. Masks, goggles, and helmets highly suggested. Heavy duty gloves or tennis rackets for lobbing gas cans back. Fresh water or saline solution for tear gas and pepper spray. Have an exit route but also be prepared to hunker down or get arrested.

Nonprofit orgs are always looking for donations and volunteers, especially smaller local ones. There's a role for everyone, including admin stuff for folks who can't leave home. Reach out to them and ask what help they need. The people who aren't seen are just as important as the ones who are.

If you're taking someone to get an abortion, especially a place like Planned Parenthood that might have picketers, put something under your shirt and pretend you are the one who's pregnant to divert attention. Guys can do this too. Be their secret mpreg fantasy.

Cis folks: if your trans friend asks you to accompany them to a bathroom or locker room, do it. And if someone comes poking their nose in your business, pretend you're the one who's trans—again, taking the attention away from your friend.

It takes just a dozen emails or a few people showing up at local town hall or school board meetings to disrupt everything and steer the discussion.

If you have a job in the government or something adjacent, gum up the works. Let calls go to voicemail and don't return them for hours. Leave emails unanswered for a day or few. Don't work through lunch breaks even if it's busy. Take your PTO in its entirety, and leave something only you can do incomplete. Rearrange your priorities ("Sorry Janet, I can't look into who's hiring illegal immigrants, I gotta fix this printer first"). Create excuses to delay things—it needs to be double checked, it didn't pass inspection, it didn't contain some insignificant detail.

Gather some food or prep some meals for your local homeless folks. Make a portion for yourself too. That way if someone asks, you're simply sharing a meal with an old friend who happens to be down on their luck.

Get some Pride stickers/flags/posters and sprayable Gorilla Glue. Slap them on everything, including cars and businesses owned by conservatives. Make our presence constantly known.

2 years ago

Sometimes when you've been sad or in pain for too long, you get used to it. And after a while, when you're no longer in that state, you have no idea how to deal with yourself. You might even miss the sense of self you had before. In such times, ask yourself to be strong. Do not give in to the past for the sake of habit. Make being happy your new normal.

2 years ago

Y'all have got to get better at handling uncertainty. Sometimes two people will have a falling out and you legitimately won't be able to tell which one was the abuser and which one was the victim. Sometimes you'll encounter a stranger online who might be a channer troll trying to stir shit up or might be a deeply traumatized person trying their hardest to speak their truth. That person with the gendery vibes might be a trans egg or they might be a cis person who just does whatever the hell they want. You have got to learn to act appropriately when you can't know everything.

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briashard - came for the fandom, stayed for free therapy
came for the fandom, stayed for free therapy

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