A Series Of Unfortunate Events Is A Passover Story

Collection

of course I do

Reminder that capitalism is the death of art

So you want to start a podcast: a collection of resources

So @borinquenaqueer requested resources for podcasters, and I started collecting mine and typing up info about them and then it turned into a Whole Thing, so I decided to just make it its own post in case other people also find it helpful. Below the cut, we're gonna cover:

Microphones (what types are out there + personal recommendations)

Recording your show

Editing your show

Audio hosting (what is it + how much does it cost + personal recommendations)

Website hosting (why I recommend having a website + cost + recs)

Music

Cover art

Transcripts

Press kits (what are they + why you might want to have one + how to make one)

Other resources (a collection of articles about podcasting that people might find helpful)

(Quick note: this is all geared towards a general audience, so any “you” in this post should be taken to mean a vague “you, any podcaster reading this” rather than a particular person!)

Microphones

There are two types of microphones commonly used in podcasting: XLR and USB.

XLR microphones connect to an audio interface with an XLR cable; the audio interface then connects to your computer with a USB cable.

USB microphones connect directly to your computer with a USB cable.

Here's a quick rundown of how they compare:

XLR Microphones

Cost: Cost varies depending on what you get, but all of the pieces together will probably come out to around $100 minimum

Audio Quality: Reliably crisp and clear even on the lower end of the budget

Background Noise: Generally good at picking up only your voice and filtering out background noise

Components: You'll need a microphone, mic stand, audio interface, XLR cable, and USB cable

Replacing/Upgrading: While the whole kit and kaboodle will probably come out to around $100, each individual piece can be found in the $20-40 range, which makes them easier to replace if one of them breaks. You can also upgrade your equipment one piece at a time (e.g. I started with a $20 mic and later upgraded to a $100 mic without changing any of my other equipment)

Set-Up: Can take slightly longer to set up, especially when you're just getting used to it. None of the set up is particularly hard (it's really just plugging things into other things and fiddling with knobs), but it can take a few minutes

Portability: Can be taken out of the house if you get a portable audio interface

USB Microphones

Cost: Starts around $25, with most falling in the $50-100 range. Most don’t come with a pop filter, which will cost an extra $5-15 depending on the type you get

Audio Quality: The $25-40 range will probably be a little grainy/poppy, but that’s not a huge deal if you don’t mind that it might cost you some listeners (there are some people who are just picky about what quality of audio they listen to and others who have hearing issues that means they genuinely need high-quality audio to understand anything). You’ll get more reliable audio quality once you hit the $50-100 range

Background Noise: Can pick up a lot of background noise, which can be an issue if you live somewhere with a lot of ambient sounds (like near a highway or in an apartment with a toddler above you)

Components: You just need the microphone and a USB cable, which are generally sold together

Replacing/Upgrading: There’s really just one main component to this set-up (the microphone), so if it breaks, you’ll have to replace your whole set-up. Same with upgrading—if you want to upgrade to a better mic at some point, you’ll probably be looking at replacing your set-up entirely (though this can also be an upside if you’re able to sell your old mic, since that can offset the cost of getting a new one)

Set-Up: Very quick—you just plug in, adjust the knobs, and go

Portability: You can generally only use it if you have a computer to plug it into, so it’s about as portable as your computer happens to be (and, of course, is reliant on your computer’s battery life)

Bonus: Pop Filters

No matter which kind of microphone you use, you’ll probably want a pop filter. There are two kinds: one looks like a piece of very thin fabric stretched over a plastic hoop that’s attached to a long, flexible neck; you attach the neck to either your microphone or the table you’re recording on, then move the screen so it’s between your mouth and the microphone. The other kind looks like a foam ball with a hole cut through one side; you just put it over your microphone. The first kind usually runs around $15, the second around $2-5. You can use either or both, but I highly recommend using at least one.

This is because of plosives. A plosive is a kind of sound you make by stopping your airflow, followed by a sudden release of air—like the p or b sounds in English. When you record yourself saying those sounds (and you’ll be saying them a lot), the microphone picks up the burst of air as a sudden spike in noise, which can be really unpleasant and jarring to listen to. When you use a pop filter, it dampens the burst of air and stops the audio from spiking. If you don’t have the money to buy one, you can find tutorials for making your own online!

Microphone Recommendations

XLR: I started out using a Behringer Ultravoice XM8500 microphone ($25) connected to a Behringer U-Phoria UM2 Audio Interface ($50). After buying cords, a pop filter, and a mic stand, the set-up came out to a bit over $100.

USB: The Blue Yeti is considered somewhat of a gold standard for USB mics in podcasting (I believe Welcome to Night Vale is/was recorded on a Yeti, though I could be wrong). It’s about $100-140 depending on where you buy. For a more budget-friendly option, I know people who have gotten great results from the Blue Snowball, which can be found online for around $45-50.

Tip: Buy Extra Cords

Whatever kind of microphone you buy, I highly recommend getting an extra of each kind of cord you need. Cords have this habit of breaking right before (or in the middle of) recording sessions and that is much easier to deal with if you have an extra on hand!

Resources

30 of the Best Podcast Microphones (For Any Budget)

21 of the Best USB Microphones for Podcasts (That Won’t Break the Bank)

Recording Your Show

To record your show, you’ll need some kind of program on your computer that can record sound. My go-to is Audacity: it’s totally free, has a pretty robust toolset, and is (at least in my opinion) pretty user-friendly. It’s also been around for ages and is super popular, so it’s really easy to find how-to guides online (both general “how do I use this program at all?” and more specific questions like “how do I reduce noise?”). You can also just play around with whatever recording program came pre-installed on your computer. 

If you have multiple people on your show and you’re recording together online (e.g. over a Discord call), I extremely extremely recommend having everyone record their audio individually and then stitching them together rather than just recording the call. It’s more work, but it will sound worlds better. 

Editing Your Show

So, I have done editing before. I’m not going to pretend I’m particularly skilled at it, and I would feel bad passing on advice that could be bad, so instead I’m gonna skip right to the Resources part of this section and pass you on to people who know more than me.

Resources

Why I Edit Actual Play Podcasts on an iPad

A Massively Oversimplified Guide to Loudness

Podcast Problems: The Love and Fear of Silence

Audacity Tutorial for Podcasters: How to Setup, Record, and Edit a Podcast

That last one is obviously geared specifically towards Audacity, but if you use a different program, just Googling “how to edit a podcast in [program]” can usually get you some great in-depth tutorials.

Audio Hosting

To submit your podcast to podcatchers like Apple/Google Play/Spotify, you need to have an RSS feed. To get an RSS feed, you need to use a hosting service, like Libsyn or Pinecast. Many of these (though not all of them!) cost money, but they can be pretty cheap—I started out using Libsyn, which starts at $5/mo per podcast. As a heads up, at least with the paid services I’m familiar with, you don’t just pay for the service while you’re actively uploading your podcast; you’ll have to keep paying for as long as you want your feed to remain active (meaning that people can still listen to your show). 

I currently use Pinecast, which I highly recommend if you’re going to do multiple shows, because you can have multiple shows on the same $10/mo plan (vs services like Libsyn which charge per show).

Resources

The 9 Best Free Podcast Hosting Services in 2022

The 10 Best Podcast Hosting Services (for new & experienced podcasters)

Website Hosting

I extremely recommend having a website. This will provide a handy dandy place for people who interested in your show to find out things like when/where your show releases, who makes it and where they can be found, and how people can contact you. If you have a Patreon/ko-fi/other way for people to pay you, you can also link it here. Same with transcripts. This doesn’t have to be anything fancy or even cost you any money—I’ve seen great websites that are just based on Tumblr or Carrd, which you can make totally for free.

Here are some examples of podcasting websites on a variety of different platforms:

Re: Dracula (Tumblr, free—I believe they do have another website, but this is a great example of a Tumblr blog for a podcast)

Starlight Audio Productions (Squarespace, $17/mo—this one is mine!)

Sidequesting (Carrd, free—though I believe you have to pay extra for a custom domain, like this website has)

Hug House Productions (Wordpress, which has a range of costs starting around $4/mo; this particular website plan is $25/mo, which allows them to have a store on their site)

Zebulon Podcasts (Wix, free—though you can pay money to remove the banner at the top and get a custom domain)

You may also consider getting a custom domain name, which is how the Starlight Audio website is starlightaudio.com instead of starlightaudio.squarespace.com. You can hook a custom domain up to a lot of different website builders, including Tumblr blogs, though some of them (like Wix) will charge extra for it. Custom domain names do cost money, though usually not a ton—I pay $10/year for the Starlight Audio domain and Hug House pays $20/year for theirs (thank you to Anne at Hug House for answering my questions!).

Music

For music, you have a few options:

Find music online that’s free to use—just make sure that it’s free to use, not just free to download; and if you plan on running ads at any point, make sure that it’s free to use for commercial rather than personal use. My old queer history podcast (RIP) used a Jonathan Coulton song because he, bless him, releases his music for free non-commercial use with attribution 

Find music you like from an independent artist and ask their permission to use it—not every artist will let you use their stuff for free, but many will, especially if you credit them in every episode

Commission an artist to make a custom song for you—this will have a huge range of costs depending on who you get and how much they charge; in my experience it’ll usually be in the $100-400 range. If you plan on having ads on your show, make sure that the artist knows that and is okay with it!

If you’re a composer, you can also make your own song and use it however the heck you want. You make the rules now.

Whatever you do, I do recommend having some kind of opening music, because it’s a great way to set the tone for your show and make it more distinctive (think about how the light, bouncy Parks & Recreation theme song sets up the show as a lighthearted comedy while the dark, eerie Hannibal theme song sets up the show as a bloody horror show). If you can’t afford to pay any money for your opening song, that’s totally fine—you can find tons of music online that’s free to use and will sound great!

Resources

Where to Get Music for Podcasts Free of Royalty Issues

Cover Art

We’ve got two main options here:

Do it yourself. I tend to make my covers in Photoshop, but Canva is a very popular and user-friendly option. Canva is free to use and has tons of free assets available, though you can also pay $10/mo to have an expanded asset catalog. There are also tons of free tutorials on Youtube for how to make good art in Canva!

Commission someone to make it for you. Cost for this will vary wildly depending on who you go with (anywhere from $50-400 or more), and will also vary according to whether you plan to sell merch with your show art on it (if you plan on making a profit from it, you’ll probably need to pay more to the artist you commission it from, though some will also be open to you paying less upfront if you give them a cut of merchandise profits)

Resources

The Sound Barrier: Does Cover Art Matter?

Canva podcast templates

Fiverr and Upwork (websites for hiring freelancers)

Transcripts

Transcripts can be used to make your podcast accessible to deaf and hard-of-hearing people, like me! I’m not going to spend tons of time in this post going into why you should have podcasts and how to edit/host/format them—I’ve already written a pretty extensive article that covers those things, which I’ll link under Resources below. 

However, that article is geared mostly towards turning recording scripts for fiction podcasts into transcripts, which is a bit of a different process than getting transcripts for an unscripted show. If your show is unscripted and you want to provide transcripts, there are three main ways to do it:

Hire a transcriber. You can find transcribers on Fiverr and Upwork (linked above). Usual rates are around $0.30-2.00 per minute of audio

Transcribe it yourself. This is a huge amount of work and I don’t really recommend it if you’re not an experienced transcriber with a bunch of time on your hands. Instead, if you can’t afford someone to transcribe your show from scratch, try…

Generating an auto-transcript using a service like Otter.ai. This can be a great budget option if you can’t afford a transcriber. However, if you do this, please edit your transcripts. You know how Youtube autocaptions are infamously bad? Services like Otter have come a long way, but they’re still going to have those same issues. Most of them also only reference English dictionaries and will massively fuck up non-English words and names. Please edit your transcript to make sure it’s actually accurate

A lot of people will say that you absolutely have to have a transcript for your show—that if you don't, you're Evil and Personally Hate Accessibility. I actually disagree with that, because at the end of the day, having transcripts does take require either time or money, and I know a lot of podcasters just don’t have either of those. But if you’re able to have transcripts, it means your podcast is accessible to deaf and hard-of-hearing people (as well as people with audio processing issues), which is a really kind thing to do and helps make the world a more accessible place.

Resources

How to Make Your Podcast More Accessible Using Transcripts (written by me!)

I don’t currently know of any how-to guides for editing auto transcripts, but I’m asking around and will update if I find one

Press Kits

A press kit is essentially a handy little packet that people can view or download that includes a bunch of info about your show all in one easily-accessible place—think things like your cast/crew, what your show is about, how it started, when and how to listen to it, your cover art, that kind of thing. It’s called a “press kit” because it’s most commonly used by journalists (press) to make it easier for us to write about your show. This isn’t a requirement to have a podcast or anything, but it makes it easier for people to give your show free publicity, which is a very useful thing!

Here are some examples of podcast press kits:

Love and Luck (Squarespace)

Twilight Over Midgard (Squarespace, with a bit of a different format—this is my upcoming show)

Sidequesting (Carrd)

VALENCE (Wordpress) 

Zebulon Podcasts (Wix; click on “Menu” then “Press Kit”)

I can’t explain how to make a press kit better than my friend Elena Fernández Collins already has, so I’ll just link that below—give it a look!

Resources

Press Play on a Podcast Press Kit

Other Resources

Finally, here are some general podcasting resources that didn’t fit into any of the above categories:

Discover Pods (disclaimer: I used to write for them)

How To Start A Podcast The Right Way (The Definitive Complete Guide for 2022)

Podcaster Resources

Simplecast blog (disclaimer: I currently write for them)

Less is More: Refining the Scope of your Audio Drama

How to Tumblr as a Fiction Podcaster

“As You Know, Bob…”: Creating Natural-Sounding Dialogue in Audio

Bello Collective

The blogs of Wil Williams and Elena Fernández Collins and the “Podcasting Resources” page of Tal Minear (disclaimer: I’m friends with these people, but I do genuinely think their writing is great and I’d be recommending it even if I didn’t love them as people)

 I’ve also written several articles on podcasting; here’s links to a few of my favorites

I Have a Podcast—Now What the Heck Do I Call It?

Avoiding Podcasting Burnout When Your Love Your Work

Writing Mentally Ill Characters in Horror (Without the Ableism)

Thanks for reading this massive post! I hope at least a few people find it helpful. If you liked this post, reblogs are super appreciated. If you like how I write, you can find more in my writing portfolio and on the blog on my website, where I’m currently chronicling my journey trying to get a book published.

If anyone has questions, feel free to ask and I’ll respond as best as I can!

Aight y'all. Here’s a lesson I learned from my wife, and I wish I’d learned it years ago:

Before you buy anything, take 5 minutes to search (preferably with a non-Google search engine like DuckDuckGo) “best [whatever] for [specific purpose if necessary].”

Make sure you look at who the reviews are from; there are a lot of bad spam sites out there, but you can find good lists on reputable sites. However, you’ll get some of the best lists on Reddit.

Most of what you’ll find at the top of the lists on Amazon (and Walmart) are people who have paid for that spot. You’ll still have to use discernment to make sure you’re picking a good review site, but I’m not kidding when i say that the last time we had to buy a plunger, I ended up on a thread on a plumber’s forum where they were discussing which plunger they keep in their own bathroom. (The overwhelming winner was something called a Toilet Saber, and… it’s much easier to use than the usual style of plunger, actually.)

She searches “best potato peeler” and “best pastry blender” and “best standing desk” and it seems so obvious, right, but she does it for literally everything and the average quality of things I own has gone way, way up since I started taking 5 minutes to search “best yoga socks” and “best cuticle trimmers” and then going to buy whatever it is.

Her research skills go into overdrive when it comes to big purchases; she’s the one who researched our sublimation printer and found the desk I currently use. If there’s an extremely passionate subreddit out there about the thing she wants to buy, she’ll find it and then read half a dozen reviews.

I cannot stress enough how much she does this. About. Everything. And how much everything we own is better as a result.

It’s amazing, honestly.

Who burned down the Baudelaire mansion?

The series ended on an island but its bad beginning is still rife with controversy, confusion and contempt. As of today, we have no idea how the Baudelaire fire happened, or who escaped it, or why it was so important. In one of the most infuriating and frustrating pieces of dialogues Daniel Handler has ever written, we, the readers, are denied any answer to this mystery:

Klaus knelt down beside his sister, and stared into the villain’s shiny eyes. “You’re the one who made us orphans in the first place,” he said, uttering out loud for the first time a secret all three Baudelaires had kept in their hearts for almost as long as they could remember. Olaf closed his eyes for a moment, grimacing in pain, and then stared slowly at each of the three children in turn. “Is that what you think?” he said finally. “We know it,” Sunny said. “You don’t know anything,” Count Olaf said. “You three children are the same as when I first laid eyes on you. You think you can triumph in this world with nothing more than a keen mind, a pile of books, and the occasional gourmet meal.” He poured one last gulp of cordial into his poisoned mouth before throwing the seashell into the sand. “You’re just like your parents,” he said, and from the shore the children heard Kit Snicket moan. [Lemony Snicket - The End, Chapter Thirteenth]

There are about a million different ways to interpret Olaf’s reaction:

Someone else was actually responsible for burning down the mansion.

A group of several people (including Olaf) burned down the mansion for different reasons.

Olaf did burn down the mansion but the Baudelaire parents’ death had nothing to do with the fire, as at least one of them escaped the fire.

Olaf was coerced into killing the Baudelaire parents and was only an accomplice to the murder

Olaf feels that Bertrand and Beatrice are responsible for their own death and that they essentially brought it upon themselves

Klaus is more or less right but Olaf just enjoys not leaving the Baudelaire orphans any closure or certainty on this topic as a final “screw you” to his enemies.

The ambiguity of the universe and the inability to acquire perfect knowledge are major themes throughout the series, and Olaf’s ambiguous response is a testament. Nevertheless, there seems to be a kind of poignant sincerity in Olaf’s flippant dismissal. This is a dying man who has nothing left to lose; why would he lie? If a drama-queen has to make a final speech, said drama-queen uses it to send a deeply personal message. And the message here is that Klaus is… not wrong, exactly, but that his understanding of his parents’ death is biased and simplistic. Let’s take some time to examine Olaf’s point of view on the day of the Baudelaire fire.

Simply put: what the hell happened?

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My favourite Game Changer quotes in no particular order:

“Take my points, you twee bitch, take my points away!”

“TIMBS! TIMBS, BITCH!”

“I haven't been able to since the HRT.” / “That's so interesting; I have the opposite problem.”

“He wanted to see his son fall, fall from the sky, oh how CLOSE to the SUN he FLEW, but Daedalus our little master craftsman over here had some WAX WINGS OF HIS OWN–”

“The lady said butthole, Sam.”

“Beardsley left this for me.” / “But you voted them out!” / “I am aware of that, yes.”

“Call your dad! Call your dad!” / “Call his... Dad?”

“I'm hungie :(”

“My period started during the break and I am in immense pain right now. This is not a bit.”

“Hey! Timothy! You're not allowed on the street anymore, and you know why?” / “Why?” / “On account of the crimes!”

“Can I solve it? Can I solve the thing?” / “WHAT?” (...) “That was a real Jewel moment right there, to go to so far at the top from so far at the bottom.”

“If Ally Beardsley comes out with a crown on their head I'm going to lose it.”

“Yes, of course I flinched. I'm not gonna stand here and pretend I didn't flinch, that was terrifying.”

“Just give it to me now, we all know I can do this.”

“You're gonna get Josh Ruben in here and not give him a seagull to do? Okay.”

“There is a big difference between walking into an escape room and finding yourself inside one.”

“Zac is running down the street? Jacob is driving home, and Ally is on their way to the airport.”

“Byoooouh.”✋😐✋“Did you factor in the antlers?”

“I am also 31. It's important to know there are three men in their thirties here today.”

“I think... You did this, and you're a bad man.”

“Was it writing Katie's name down and letting everyone think it was the art department?”

“The dungeon master is now my prisoner, it's Brennan Lee Mulligan!”

“There's gonna be a loop-de-loop.”

Slim Fit Double Breasted Leather Neck Belt 12 Button Wool Coat

had a minor crisis when 12ft.io went down yesterday and thankfully it's back now but this seems like a good opportunity to compile a list of similar paywall-evading tools in case 12ft ever gets canned for real:

12ft.io: the legend himself. definitely my favorite of the bunch by virtue of being the easiest to use (and the easiest url to remember), but it's configured to disable paywall evasion for a handful of popular sites like the new york times, so you'll have to go elsewhere for those.

printfriendly: works great; never had any issues with removing paywalls, even on domains that don't work with 12ft.io. since this site is literally designed to make sites print-friendly, it might simplify the overall formatting of the page you're trying to access, which can be a good or bad thing. my only real issue is that the "element zapper" (which lets you remove content blocks from the print-friendly preview) is a little sensitive if you're browsing on a touchscreen device, which means you might accidentally delete a paragraph when you're just trying to scroll. but if that happens you can reload the page and it'll revert everything back to its original state.

fifteen feet: basically a 12ft clone, minus 12ft's restrictions. haven't used it much since I only discovered it yesterday in the wake of 12ft's 451 error but it seems to do the trick.

archive.today: an archival tool very similar to the wayback machine, but it also works as a de facto paywall removal tool. (the wayback machine seems to remove paywalls as well, but archive.today has better UX imo and is way faster to use.)

and an honorable mention for sci-hub: only works for scientific/academic journals, not random news articles, but the other sites listed above only work for random news articles and not academic publications so you gotta have this one in your toolbelt for full coverage. pubmed is your oyster.

videos i find myself frequently rewatching (most of these are film/television related, with some random topics and serotonin perks thrown in here and there)

how andrew wyeth made a painting

why miyazaki is a true romantic

over the garden wall: why is the unknown so familiar?

ginger rogers, katharine hepburn, and the 1941 oscars

the bisexual anti-fascist (marlene dietrich)

missed calls: a eulogy for the movie phone booth

edvard munch: what a cigarette means

parasite vs sunset boulevard: the disillusionment arc

anatomy of anatomy of a murder

saul bass’s movie posters

we’re all stupid and boring

the outsider’s guide to the social world

over the garden wall’s historical clothing inspirations

the psychology of heroism

comedy dies slow: the marvelous mrs. maisel

late night tv needs to change

the man from u.n.c.l.e (2015): style vs substance

when shakespeare got cool

the weird ways to adapt mary jane

aaliyah, britney, & the apathy of lifetime biopics

why chad and ryan switched clothes in high school musical 2

why megamind is a subversive masterpiece

school of rock’s perfect scene

the movies that inspired knives out

can 4 average people beat a pro crossword puzzler?

how david fincher uses pop music

the beach party genre

how to bring folklore to life

is the lonely genius real? 

in defense of love at first sight

forming real human connections? sounds fake but ok