Glaze Is Out!

Fantasy Book Rec Masterpost

Here is every fantasy book I’ve ever enjoyed (plus some short stories thrown in). List will be updated regularly as I read. There are books repeated as some fit into more than one category; I designed it this way so that if you’re looking for one specific sub-genre you can look at just that list and not miss out. Enjoy!

*last edited November 27, 2017*

High Fantasy

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

The Prophecy of the Stones by Flavia Bujor

The Seven Realms series by Cinda Williams Chima

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

The Shades of Magic Series by V.E. Schwab (sort of)

The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini

Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

The Land of Elyon Series by Patrick Carman

The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale

Redwall by Brian Jacques

Deerskin by Robin McKinley

The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley

The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley

Flamecaster by Cinda Williams Chima

Down-the-Rabbit-Hole

Coraline by Neil Gaiman

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

Stardust by Neil Gaiman

The Spindlers by Lauren Oliver

UnLunDun by China Miéville

The Inkheart series by Cornelia Funke

Gregor the Overlander series by Suzanne Collins

The May Bird series by Jodi Lynn Anderson

The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis

Magic in the Real World (sometimes called fabulism)

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

American Gods by Neil Gaiman

Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater

The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi

The Magician Trilogy by Jenny Nimmo

The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke

Half Magic by Edward Eager

Urban Fantasy

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman

UnLunDun by China Miéville

Fairy Tale Retellings

Snow, Glass, Apples by Neil Gaiman (short story)

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll

Rags and Bones edited by Melissa Marr and Tim Pratt

My Mother She Killed Me, My Father He Ate Me edited by Kate Bernheimer (this one is a very mixed bag but i really enjoyed some of the stories

The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories by Angela Carter

The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale

Deerskin by Robin McKinley

The White Road by Neil Gaiman (short story)

Dragons

The Hero and the Crown by Robin McKinley

The Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini

The Girl Who Drank The Moon by Kelly Barnhill

Flamecaster by Cinda Williams Chima

Fairies

The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black

The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi

The Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer

Ghosts

Ghostly edited by Audrey Niffenegger

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger

The May Bird series by Jodi Lynn Anderson

Witches and Wizards

The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

The Thickety series by J.A. White

The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill

Vampires

Fifteen Painted Cards from a Vampire Tarot by Neil Gaiman (short story)

Other Magical Creatures

Unnatural Creatures edited by Neil Gaiman

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi

Pretty Monsters by Kelly Link

The Smile on the Face by Nalo Hopkinson (short story)

Intelligent Animal Characters (may not be fantasy exactly but close enough)

Watership Down by Richard Adams

The Plague Dogs by Richard Adams

Redwall by Brian Jacques

The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo

Enchanted Forests

Uprooted by Naomi Novik

The Thickety series by J.A. White

The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black

Graphic Novels/Illustrated

The Truth is a Cave in the Black Mountains by Neil Gaiman (also short story and audio versions available)

Instructions by Neil Gaiman

Through the Woods by Emily Carroll

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

Short Story Collections

Ghostly edited by Audrey Niffenegger

Stories edited by Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio

Smoke and Mirrors by Neil Gaiman

Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman

Unnatural Creatures edited by Neil Gaiman

Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman

Pretty Monsters by Kelly Link

Rags and Bones edited by Melissa Marr and Tim Pratt

My Mother She Killed Me, My Father He Ate Me edited by Kate Bernheimer

The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories by Angela Carter

The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo

YA

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater

The Prophecy of the Stones by Flavia Bujor

The Seven Realms series by Cinda Williams Chima

The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black

The Shades of Magic Series by V.E. Schwab

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater

Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

Flamecaster by Cinda Williams Chima

Middle Grade

Coraline by Neil Gaiman

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

The Spindlers by Lauren Oliver

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

UnLunDun by China Miéville

The Land of Elyon Series by Patrick Carman

The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black and Tony DiTerlizzi

The Magician Trilogy by Jenny Nimmo

Pretty Monsters by Kelly Link

The Inkheart series by Cornelia Funke (sort of in between middle and YA)

The Thief Lord by Cornelia Funke

The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale (again, could be considered YA)

Gregor the Overlander series by Suzanne Collins

The May Bird series by Jodi Lynn Anderson

The Thickety series by J.A. White

The Artemis Fowl series by Eoin Colfer

Redwall by Brian Jacques

Half Magic by Edward Eager

The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo

The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill

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every writing tip article and their mother: dont ever use adverbs ever!

me, shoveling more adverbs onto the page because i do what i want: just you fucking try and stop me

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Stupid Dinner (2023)

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I cannot emphasize enough how much you need to read thoroughly through the terms of any publication before you send your writing to them. It is mandatory that you know and understand what rights you’re giving away when you’re trying to get published.

Just the other day I was emailed by a relatively new indie journal looking for writers. They made it very clear that they did not pay writers for their work, so I figured I’d probably be passing, but I took a look at their Copyright policy out of curiosity and it was a nightmare. They wanted “non-exclusive, irrevocable, royalty-free, perpetual, worldwide license and right to use, display, reproduce, distribute, and publish the Work on the internet and on or in any medium” (that’s copy and pasted btw) and that was the first of 10 sections on their Copyright agreement page. Yikes. That’s exactly the type of publishing nightmare you don’t want to be trapped in. 

Most journals will ask for “First North American Rights” or a variation on “First Rights” which operate under the assumption that all right revert back to you and they only have the right to be the first publishers of the work. That is what you need to be looking for because you do want to retain all the rights to your work. 

You want all rights to revert back to you upon publication in case you, say, want to publish it again in the future or use it for a bookmark or post it on your blog, or anything else you might want to do with the writing you worked hard on. Any time a publisher wants more than that, be very suspicious. Anyone who wants to own your work forever and be able to do whatever they want with it without your permission is not to be trusted. Anyone who wants all that and wants you to sign away your right to ever be paid for your work is running a scam.

Protect your writing. It’s not just your intellectual property, it’s also your baby. You worked hard on it. You need to do the extra research to protect yourself so that a scammer (or even a well meaning start up) doesn’t steal you work right from under you nose and make money off of it.

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Reminder that capitalism is the death of art

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Lemony Snicket's Calendar of Unfortunate Events

Jan 12: Birthday of Jacques Snicket, as well as that of his sister.

Feb 26: Jacques Snicket “taken” and initiated into V.F.D.

Mar 18: Jacques Snicket, given his first assignment, disguises himself accordingly.

Mar 31: Alleged date the alleged Baudelaire mansion allegedly burned down.

Apr 8: Isadora Quagmire’s whereabouts unknown.

Apr 17: Jacques Snicket disguise discovered. Alternate disguise employed.

May 13: Nine cows arrested by the authorities under the suspicion of involvement with V.F.D. Jacques Snicket, disguised as the tenth cow, escapes on a stolen tractor.

Jun 26: Jacques Snicket arrives in Paltryville to continue Baudelaire investigation.

Jul 6: Jacques Snicket reports his findings to The Daily Punctilio.

Jul 7: The Daily Punctilio does not publish Jacques Snicket’s report.

Aug 9: V.F.D. declares Jacques Snicket “either missing or on vacation.”

Sep 23: Summer is dead and Jacques Snicket does not return. V.F.D. changes his status to “missing.”

Oct 10: The remaining Snicket siblings open their investigation into Jacques Snicket’s disappearance.

Nov 7: Jacques Snicket reported murdered.

Dec 2: Jacques Snicket reported ill.

Jan 4: Director and screenwriter Gustav Sebald reported missing.

Jan 10: Gustav Sebald found murdered.

Jan 27: V.F.D. declares remaining Snicket siblings “either missing or on vacation.” Very few vacations are scheduled in January.

Pasta is great. It’s like hey, let me take delicious things like butter,or meat, or tomatoes or basil and then let me just fuckin mix whatever the fuck i want in and combine it with some random ass noodles.  That’s basically pasta.  BUT, there’s a big difference between “basically pasta” and “holy shit food of the gods” pasta, and that is that the latter has some rules that must be followed.  10 PASTA COMMANDMENTS COMIN UP:

Always boil pasta in boiling SALTED water. Ever had a dish where you forgot to salt it before cooking it, and no matter how much seasoning you did post saute/sear, it still sort of tasted bland on the inside? Same goes for pasta. Your sauce could be fuckin on point, but if you don’t salt dat pasta water, ya fugged, bruh. 

Always have your sauce ready BEFORE the pasta. Pestos, emulsified butter sauces, bolognese sauces, they should be in their respective sauce pans, heated and ready to go (unless we’re takin pesto or carbonarashit, as those go bad with heat). The worst thing you could do is fuck up and overcook your delicious pasta bc you were too busy making or finishing up your sauce. 

Always TASTE your pasta. I don’t care if the package says it’s ready in 1 minute or an hour, taste your pasta from the boiling water at least 2 minutes in, and every 2 minutes after that. Al dente’s usually the way to go, but you’ll never know when to take it out if you’re not constantly tasting. 

DO NOT strain your pasta, wasting your pasta water and allowing your pasta to cool. Use tongs to take pasta straight up form the boiling water (don’t dry it, nerds) and throw it in your sauce. A little pasta water gets in? no probs, and I’ll tell you why. 

If your sauce is reducing too much, or it’s too tight, add pasta water. It’s salted and hot and ready to go, it won’t dilute the flavor at all, you’re golden duude. golden. 

Finish your pasta in the sauce, allow it to become homogenous, let the sauce stick to the pasta, BECOME ONE WITH THE PASTA BRUH. 

Add cheese last, because cheese get’s weird and fucked up in hot pans, so it’s best to throw that on right before you’re ready to eat that shit up. 

4 oz is a normal serving size for pasta. If you don’t have a scale, that’s basically like the first pic above. If you hold the pasta like such, and the width of the bunch is a little smaller than an american quarter, then ur good 2 go bruh. 

Dry pastas are not better/worse than fresh pasta. They’re legit just made with different flours using different procedures. One isn’t ‘fancier’ than the other u pretentious buttrockets. 

PASTA IS NOT SCARY, IT’S DELICIOUS. These rules look tough, but honestly it’s not that bad bruh. I believe in u. 

and now, onto the recipe I used for my pasta. It’s a restaurant favorite, we always make it on the line because it’s simple, delicious and super filling. 

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Caciopepe Pasta serves: 1 (lol like id share this with ppl lolol) -

Ingredients-

salt water for boiling (just salt some water, don’t fuckin travel to the beach in hopes of created the most bomb pasta ever)

1 bunch of pasta

2 bay leaves

1 sprig thyme

cold butter (approximately 2/3 cups cut into small pads

parmesan cheese to taste

a shit ton of black pepper to taste

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Procedure-

Throw some pasta into some boiling water and do that thing where you constantly taste test the pasta to see if it’s ready. In the meantime, make ur sauce u lazy bumbum.

Add a little boiling pasta water to a saute pan over low heat, and whisk/mix in the butter quickly till it’s creamy and emulsified. If it’s too thick, just whisk in a teeny bit of pasta water. Add 2 bay leaves and a sprig of thyme for aroma, remove when pasta’s ready. 

Once the pasta’s ready to rock and roll, use tongs to scoop it up and place it in the sauce. Flip and mix using tongs. Add cheese and crack a lot of pepper. Add salt if it needs seasoning, add more pasta water if the sauce tightens.

and bam, ya ready to roll. 

~ I promise u if you use these pasta techniques, people will think ur literally a GOD. ur welcs. 

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I just realized, I just bloody realized, Moist Von Lipwig’s story arc is a game of Monopoly through the eyes of a conman going through the board and winning all the pieces.

He has the top hat, the dog, the train (which replaces to automotive in newer boards) the friendship of the Seamstress’ Guild (thimble), the walking iron called Gladys, the boot (he’s the incarnation of the Disc God Fedecks who has winged boots) and also the bag of money.*   He goes to jail, but eventually gets to pass and go. He’s integral in the rehabilitation of civic buildings (post office, bank, mint, the acquisition of land to build a railway and then adding stations to said railway), the owner of up market private property, and also he invents paper money which everyone sort of thinks of as a bit of a game.

His very name, Moist Von Lipwig, is a pun about wearing a fake lip wig or mustache. Like so:

Lord Vetinari is quite literally using him to play a life size version of Monopoly with the city. And winning.

(Amendment: Adora with hear deadly footwear is also the shoe/boot.)

(* Alternates: Sam Vimes is boots, Gaspode and Beggars Guild is dog, Wheelbarrow is Harry King, Thimble is Seamstress Guild, Battlehsip/canon is Assassins Guild/Nobility, Money Bag is Thieves Guild, leaving Moist as Top Hat and Train. ANKH-MORPORK MONOPOLY, GIVE IT TO ME) 

((edited for typos, too busy flailing))!!!!!

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