Do you remember when I almost walked in front of a speeding car and you pulled me back so hard I laughed? later that night you called yourself my guardian angel, which was funny because for you I'd kneel and join my hands to The Something I've never really believed in. But I didn't tell you that, instead I told you about how I never really believed in Santa or prince charming because Santa had my dad's handwriting and my mom taught me that to love is an afterthought, only fulfilled in heaven.
so you don't believe in heaven?
No, but would you come for me when it's 3 in the morning and I'm pouring out all of the ink I have on paper, hoping it covers the blood that runs 'neath? Let me slice my hand on your halo, when I need to feel human again? Would you engulf me in your wings and let me tell you about how sometimes when I cross a road I reach for a hand that isn't there?
I'll find you in heaven just to prove you wrong.
But wouldn't you rather be stretching your arms above to the eternity I can prove, I will prove, for I am twistedly determined to prove you wrong, right next to me?
but how would you know it's me next to you?
I'd know, I'd know you, I'd always know you, your branches would be the one's above mine when the rays get too harsh.
exam season again y'all
Head tilted back with laughter
I would make this my forever
still, i remind myself
nothing lasts forever
and about ten years later,
glow of streetlights
on my lashes
all I feel is longing
Blinded by the light is such a sick, dizzy and warm feeling. Like Apollo embracing you, but his rays slowly seeping in and burning your skin. Like gradually being pulled into sweet nothing, and the pain being felt as nothing but pure bliss.
Yes, your heart stopped at 5:05 am. You still have so much time left across the world. Frida kahlo painted flowers so that they would not die, my darling muse, how can I ever accept that you're gone?
How can you call him a monster when he has my heart gently cradled between his cupped palms? So much anguish yet such a gentle hold on me. You hear your thoughts from others, and yet haven't seen the way his fingertips softly trace my neck. Although I suppose, if he had wanted to crush my heart I would have let him. How often do you witness such a sweet creature turn to pure rage from the depths of his soul?
fingers crossed hoping in some foreign quadrant the variables might be altered, the five miles walked would never seem so minute then. dawning epiphanies graphing when our footsteps might align again, not defined when I asked, what that was, doesn't that answer seem so eerily familiar? almost as if lipped in another lifetime maybe? will it just be first impressions over the same highways? how will the fog ever clear, the lines ever scaled, if the puzzled tomorrows remain unsolved? rather we fall like raindrops in race, with no formula to grasp the path not quite destined to run but fated for eventual indifference.
math exam was so good it made me think, don't get men get maths fr
You can't drag me away from cities, no matter the serenity of small towns and farmhouses. Something unspoken about it always attracts me, so many lives, bursting with energy, each fast and bright in its own galaxy, none too similar to the other or to mine, and I, a lone observer, will never get enough of that feeling.
being smart is literally my only validation. nothing if not smart.
and when the writer types out the final full stop, we stop too. for you and I, were only a 'we' within these numbered pages bound by a frail paperclip. what we search for is eternal, and the writer tried, tried so hard but I guess we weren't just meant the be, the fates cut our string, the paperclip was bound to break.