Hey Does Anyone Wanna Do The Funniest Thing Ever

"An old professor of mine had this great thing. He said "On the level of individuals and civilization, personality predates ideology." Meaning that before you were a fascist, you were a bully and an asshole." -Brennan Lee Mulligan in conversation with Amy Vorpahl, Adventuring Academy S1E2

All the assholes in my theater fighting over leads none of them will get

lena kelley really is representation for all of us autists who are, in spirit, just some 40 year old disillusioned alcoholic divorcee

love living during the 3rd Red Scare, the 2nd Lavender Scare, and the 2nd Satanic Panic all at the same time. the political right is so normal and not unhinged at all

just as a general reminder

learn how to fact-check for yourself, cause soon enough, most online sources won't be reliable

my god you're fucked: the lady at the help desk just went to ask someone else for help with your issue and everyone's got a confused look on

If you are a visibly disenfranchised person in America (by race, gender, sexuality, physical ability, or any other definition) and are worried about violence carried out in the name of sycophants, I would strongly recommend arming yourselves.

Brass knuckles are not illegal at the federal level, although many states have their own laws. They work in two directions: the brass rings increase the injury you do onto someone else, while the palm grip redistributes the kickback so that you're less likely to break your own fingers. Kevlar gauntlets, like the ones I wear for motorcycling, help with the latter more than the former.

Switchblades are becoming increasingly legal on the state level thanks in large part to an EMT lobby -- carrying a collapsible blade is helpful when your job involves cutting people out of their seatbelts in vehicle collisions. They come in two types: side-loading and out-the-front. OTF is triggered faster in an emergency.

In both cases, remember that most things are only illegal if you get caught. The issue comes in states where the sale of brass knuckles or switchblades are illegal, which makes them harder to acquire. If you can find a way to send a care package via a reputable courier, you should have no problem transporting across state lines. (My OTF blade came to PA nestled between a pair of sneakers.)

Handguns are easy to purchase in just about any state. Check your state laws to see whether you need a permit and/or to register your firearm to conduct a sale, but unless you're a convicted felon, the process is fairly straightforward. Always hold a handgun with both hands and practice at the range until you're confident in your aim and your stance.

Long guns are not going to be particularly useful on the street. You're unlikely to get the distance from your target to maintain your accuracy. They're more useful for standing your ground on your own property.

Bows are my favorite weapon to handle, but I would not recommend them for protection. It takes years of practice to fire them accurately, and you need space both to draw back the string to your ear and to fire at a distance. Arrows need a certain amount of momentum behind them, snap shots don't really work. Entry-level bows are cheaper than entry-level guns and that's the only edge I will give them.

General advice:

Put spikes anywhere you don't want people grabbing. Wrists and shoulders are the most obvious places. Punks don't just wear them for decoration!

Slip-resistant boots help you hold your ground in a tussle, and most come with an additional benefit like a steel toe or impact-resistant material.

When aiming with brass knuckles or bare fists, aim for the nose and the cheekbone. Both break easily and cause a shockwave of immediate pain that will make your attacker retreat.

Aim for center mass when possible with any type of puncturing weapon. It's the biggest target with the most important organs.

If you are put in a headlock, the thigh has both sensitive nerves and the femoral artery, and it's probably the most available target to you.

Strangling someone might seem like the nicer option, but it's the most dangerous for you. You need at least 10 seconds to strangle to the point of unconsciousness, during which your hands are both occupied and you can't defend yourself as well. Always go for an immediate, painful injury that will disrupt your attacker's attention.

Any protection - body armor or weaponry - is better than no protection. My motorcycle armor was designed to keep me from breaking every bone in my body in a crash, but the way it redistributes bludgeoning force also helps against baseball bats and batons.

Most people are not as prepared to receive physical violence as they are to dole it out.

Hot Take: Taylor Swift has as much pull as Hamilton in the election of 1800

Some good cows in the German countryside