Castr01995 - Sexiest (Fat) Man Alive

Fact of the Day: The Valles Marineris is a system of canyons on the surface of Mars which, if it existed on Earth, would stretch across the entire contiguous United States, and is 6 miles deep, whereas the Grand Canyon is only 1 mile deep.

So last night I got drunk and played The Sims

Since my post about getting drunk and playing Skyrim seemed to be so popular, I got drunk again last night and played The Sims. I’ll be honest, the whole ordeal felt like trying to catch lightning in a bottle and I really don’t think it holds up to the Skyrim post, and I never really found that funny to begin with. But what the fuck do I know, here’s what happened.

Ineffective “guard dog”

It appears as if there's a dead body buried in our backyard...

And now, Jay reads the official minutes from the most recent Black Rapper meeting.

SPOILER WARNING: The ending of Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, out in theaters this Friday, March 25, 2016. #IWasPaidForThis, #NotReally, #ButIWishIWas

I did the math and if the Krusty Krab closes at Six and Spongebob always arrives at work at 3 am to count the sesame seeds, and if he comes in every day except Sunday and works at a rate of 8.50 an hour, with a paycheck every two weeks, Spongebob makes $1,326 every paycheck which seems feasible given the Krusty Krabs revenue. So that explains why Spongebob owns his own house still, has a massive library and all kinds of extremities like damn no wonder he can keep affording boating school

R.I.P. Robin Williams (July 21, 1951 - August 11, 2014) and Joan Rivers (June 8, 1933 - September 4, 2014).