What Language Are You Fluent In?

biden signed a whole bunch of executive orders today, all of which aiming to undo damage done by trump. i’m by no means a fan of biden, he’s a centrist at best and has a history of sexual assault and i despise how he’s pushing for “unity” instead of accountability right now, BUT here’s the full list of executive orders, because a little good news is good for you sometimes (but mostly because the news sites with this stuff are behind paywalls):

Completely abolishing the “Muslim ban” travel ban, which had blocked travel to the US from several Muslim-majority and African countries 

Restarting visa processing for people from the affected countries from the travel ban, and focusing on “addressing the harm caused to those who were prevented from coming to the US because of the ban”

Reinstating ties with the World Health Organization (after Trump withdrew the US’s membership and funding last year) and making Dr. Anthony Fauci the head of the American WHO delegation

Rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement and ordering federal agencies to start reinstating more than 100 environmental regulations that were weakened/rolled back by Trump

Stopping the Border Wall construction and immediately terminating the national emergency declaration that allowed Trump to redirect billions of dollars to the wall

Revoking the permit for the Keystone XL pipeline’s construction

Overturning Trump’s executive order that had stopped federal agencies, contractors, and other institutions from holding diversity and inclusion training

Immediately ending Trump’s 1776 Commission, a committee that aimed to give American students “patriotic” history lessons, which were widely criticized by historians and civil rights leaders as being “racist lies” and “nationalist propaganda” that whitewashed history and greatly downplayed how bad slavery was

Protecting the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program (DACA) and keeping Dreamers (people who were brought to the US as children) from being deported

Extending the national ban on evictions

Overturning a Trump executive order that had pushed “aggressive efforts” to find and deport immigrants

Blocking the deportation of Liberians, a group Trump had targeted specifically

Reversing the rollbacks to vehicle emissions standards

Designating Susan E. Rice as the leader of a “robust, interagency” effort requiring all federal agencies to make “rooting out systemic racism” central to their work, and requiring federal agencies to submit detailed reports on equity in their ranks within 200 days

Reinforcing Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, to require that the federal government does not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity, a policy that reverses actions by Trump’s administration

Undoing Trump’s orders that slashed the size of several national parks (Trump had wanted to auction off parts of national parks and protected land, primarily to oil companies) and halting the oil and natural gas leases in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

Restoring the directorate for global health security and biodefense at the National Security Council, a group Trump had disbanded, and requiring social distancing. A mask mandate would be met with significant legal opposition, but this order also requires masks on all federal property and by all federal employees

And lastly: immediately freezing all of Trump’s recent regulations he’d tried to sneak in at the last minute, so that the new administration can examine them much closer

also, this wasn’t an executive order, but in case anybody missed it: biden also chose rachel levine, a transgender jewish woman, as the assistant health secretary! from what i’ve seen, rachel seems great and has done a lot of good as pennsylvania’s health secretary, so that’s very exciting

i know he is just a fictional person but i would do anything for him

good emotional skills to know 4 college but also in general

this is stuff that i’ve found helpful and am in the process of working on. they may not be achievable for you without help and may not work for your specific circumstance, but this is a list of suggestions that you might be able to think about. i am also not a mental health professional so please do feel free to contradict me!!

self soothing.  having a toolbox to take care of yourself by yourself. bc sometimes nobody else is available and you just gotta put some lotion on, listen to a tune, and go to bed early. 

checking in. checking in with yourself to see if you’re okay. knowing how to alter your strategies when your strategies aren’t working. knowing when your strategies aren’t working. this is just taking some time every day to reflect on what goals you didn’t meet and why and what you can do to fix that.

there’s nothing you “should” be doing. if you get caught up thinking “i should be doing x” that’s false! stop that! “should” be doing better implies that you have some obligation to do whatever it is that you “should” be doing. you don’t owe anybody except yourself. analyze why you think you should be doing that thing and change that into…. “i want to be doing x because…” or “doing x will make me happier, because…”. overall, more productive and less self-shamey. 

disconnecting from the crowd. eating in a crowded dining hall can be stressful! knowing how to be alone in a crowd and stay calm is helpful

being okay with being alone.  tbh college is kind of… being alone a lot, in my experience. even though you’re surrounded by people, a lot of time is spent alone. making friends is hard. your friends have different schedules. you’re busy. shit sucks. we make the best of it.

knowing yourself. this relates to a lot of what i’ve already said but like. knowing your emotional state and knowing what helps trick the monkey brain is helpful. stop repressing your feelings, friends.

talking to strangers. ordering from a menu! paying library fines. going to office hours. asking for a cashier at the register if there isn’t one. ya this is hard. ya you gotta expose yourself. sometimes i just try playing a persona. like this isn’t me ordering a sandwich. this is a cool me who knows how to talk to people who is ordering a sandwich.

you don’t have to be friends with your roommates. you just have to live together in a way that doesn’t make you two hate each other. ideally, you two will coexist in a way that doesn’t interfere with the other’s daily life.

give and taking. on the topic of roommates, sometimes your roommate can be a shitty person, but sometimes you are the shitty person! give a little but if they’re negatively impacting your life, communicate.

communicating during disagreements. explain what your emotions are instead of blaming them. “i feel hurt when you…” or “i feel frustrated when” or “i feel unappreciated when.” if things get heated, ask if you both can take a ten minute break and then come back. and don’t bring up disagreements when the other party is preoccupied or going somewhere. you can legitimately schedule a discussion.

it’s okay to apologize. learning to swallow your pride gets easier each time.

knowing that people work differently than you. some people are not gonna click with you and it’s gonna seem like they have this whole brain process up there that is totally unlike yours. and yeah! that’s how it is. and that’s chill if they aren’t hurting anyone else. work with them and be flexible!! 

comforting people. you will probably/definitely see someone cry! hell if i know how to comfort people. someone please help. but some things i’ve learned are: 1) different people need different things. different people need different things! 2) people need different things at different times. 3) you can ask them what they want and it won’t be weird. 4) apparently a lot of people like hugs? but ask. and it’s okay to not want a hug. 5) just show that you care in some way if you don’t know what they need. i used to think that if somebody needed to tell me what they needed it was a sign that i just didn’t know them well enough and we weren’t compatible or i wasn’t being a good friend. that’s fake! friendship isn’t based off of fitting naturally in every way and making an effort to be good for them is important.

knowing it’s okay to not be liked by everyone. it’s okay if strangers think you’re dumb because you said something dumb in public. you know you’re not dumb. it’s okay if not everybody you meet likes you. it’s okay if you do something cringey. everybody has their own shit to deal with and you will not shatter their world.  grow and move on!

forgiving yourself. i’m trying this new thing where when i feel embarrassed about something i say. out loud. “i forgive myself.” and then i just try to grow from that and move on without getting caught in a spiral of shame.

knowing what you need vs what you want and what is better at the time. what you need: a shower. what you want: to not do that. solution: take a shower! or maybe what you actually need is to go to sleep? but guess what. you probably know what is good for you. the hard part is actually doing it.

realize that building habits is less work than discipline. emotional effort is expended every time you have to make yourself do something. just make it part of your routine and you’ll just think it’s normal to do all the good things! like, for example, i’m trying to make it a habit to eat structured meals instead of a “eat when i’m hungry” thing because i know that makes me skip meals, which is bad!

you won’t be able to do everything. forgive yourself for that. write down  things that are top priority and focus on them. everything else is not important right now and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not being able to do them.

your health is important. i’m not saying health will solve all your problems. it won’t! but health will cause a lot of your problems to go away. because let’s face it. not sleeping causes a lot of problems. 

it’s okay to ask for help. we say this a lot but it’s hard to internalize it. here’s a thought: there’s so much shame and hesitation about asking for help so by doing that you’re actually being proactive (which is respectable) and mature, and therefore… not weak or stupid. ask for help even before you need it! most people love to help others. and especially take advantage of people who are OFFERING help. for example: counselors at school or TAs. it’s literally their job. they want to do it. and if you don’t want to talk to anybody in real life, my inbox is always open.

thinking about “you haven’t met all the people who will love you” and like!!! you also haven’t found all the things that will make you happy!!!! there will always be new authors and musicians and artists whose work you will one day discover and love!!!! there will always be new hobbies and skills for you to learn and feel fulfilled by!!! there will always be new things around the corner that will bring sudden and unexpected happiness!!!!!!!!!!!

This Is How You Actually Take Notes In College, Bitches

it’s occurred to me that nobody fuckin knows how to take notes in classes and most advice about it is bad. What the fuck are “key words?”

So anyway here’s how I’ve gotten a’s in all my classes in college so far

I’m not gonna bother too much with telling you to take notes in class. Everyone knows that shit. But most people’s note taking skills suck ass and there are two main types of sucking ass I have observed

The first is the one where your notes look like a list of key terms and words. Sometimes they are underlined or there are dashes that connect them to other words. So if your prof was talking about Henry VIII you’d write down something like

Henry VIII

Church of England—divorce

DON’T DO THAT. Those words are gonna show up on the test, sure, but writing them down isn’t gonna help you with the test. What the fuck does any of that mean? High school is shit and your “key words” can’t help you now.

Here’s the other type of bad note taking:

It was necessary for Henry VIII to have a male heir who could succeed him, but his wife was unable to conceive a son. The Catholic Church

I stopped writing there because your professor moved on to something else. But, tbh, even if you can write fast enough to keep up with the content of the lectures (and you can’t for the entire lecture) it’s not helpful to have a solid wall of Everything That Was Covered In The Lecture, in grammatically correct complete sentences. Are you gonna read that shit again? No!

And honestly most people have like, sentences here and there that look important instead of the whole lecture. Which is also bad.

So what’s the not shitty way to take notes? It comes down to these principles:

Shorthand

Show Relationships of Things

These kind of go together

I cannot emphasize enough that you don’t need to write sentences like a normal person. Shorthand everything, and I don’t mean some fucked up studying shorthand you just came up with like “AmR” for American Revolution, I mean like...fuckin text/memespeak. Don’t write complete sentences, completely abandon formality. Abbreviate anything you would in a text message, you know what it means.

HOWEVER: You Must Show How Things Are Related To Things

To understand broad concepts you gotta understand how the things in them are related to other things.

That’s why writing down “Henry VIII” and “Church of England” isn’t gonna help you, because you’re not learning that there is a Church of England.

Did Henry VIII burn the Church of England? Cheat on his wife with it? Who knows? Definitely not you.

This is why you have to connect stuff like

Catholic Church says no divorce

Henry VIII—starts Church of England

But ya know you can make that more memorable AND more clearly show how one thing caused the other

Henry VIII: divorce >:)

Catholic Church: no

Henry VIII: fuk u *church of england*

I’m completely dead serious about this, this kind of slang is very good at indicating exactly how things relate to things in zero time and you know exactly what it means and you’ll remember it

But furthermore

You have to come up with shorthand to quickly indicate how things are related. Say you write down the definitions of two terms for like, opposing theories on government in class. That’s great but you’re leaving it to yourself to work out the opposing part later from what you write, and your brain’s a flaky bitch.

Like part of what you’re doing it giving yourself help with HOW to study your notes later.

So like. Do something like write a jagged line in between the definitions, indicating conflict. Write “OTOH” or “HOWEVER” in between in big fuckin letters. Writing down “Catholic Church” and what that is and “Church of England” and what that is, is fine. But like, if the main theme is the contrast between the two, “Catholic Church HOWEVER Church of England” immediately tells you the basicest basics. It’s like a tiny outline, telling you what to expect. Sure, you can figure it out reading your notes but I’m telling you how to write skimmable notes that you can glean stuff from even when you’re half spaced out and shit, okay?

Same thing for like, dates and sequences and cause-and-effect and stuff. Even if you’ve got the dates down...be sure to put arrows or something so even at a glance you’ve got basically what’s going on.

Also i know it feels like wasting paper but DONT scrunch all your notes together into small space on the paper. That lil dialogue between Henry and the Church of England is spread out over 3 lines which means if you have ADHD like me you can actually fuckin read it. Turn things into bullet lists. Indent things with little arrows to show things leading to things. If there’s a clear move to a new topic, new page. If you’re actually filling up the paper all the way that shits hard to read and it’s even harder to pick out the Big Important Stuff.

Last word of advice: If you end up like writing down two things and can’t tell what they’re for or how they’re related to each other...ASK QUESTIONS. Like “I’m sorry can you explain how the Church of England is related to the Catholic Church? I didn’t quite catch that.” If talking in class makes you feel like you might be percieved badly, you can frame it like a Nerd Question “So, what kind of relationship would you say the Church of England and the Catholic Church had?” or just play it off like you didn’t hear it like “I’m sorry, what was that last thing you said about the Church of England and the Catholic Church?”

Or just make a mark on your notes to remind yourself that you need more info and to go to your prof’s office to ask questions. I would really not be nervous about that, professors normally really like it when students show that they really want to succeed in the class and that they care. Unless they’re like, a complete dickhead, in which case, fuck what they think, right? You’re gonna ask questions and it’s their problem because you’re essentially paying them for your presence in the class.

So...yeah.

we've all gone through friendless periods in our lives. don't fall into the trap of thinking there's something intrinsically wrong with you - that is a) untrue and b) a belief that will make your isolation grow and cause feelings of worthlessness that will prevent you from accepting people into your life because you feel like you're not deserving of their friendship

a little list of woc on youtube who are charming and interesting and brighten my day with their videos!

annika’s leaf: for pleasant and calming personal vlogs and very cute aesthetics… bless her

oh no nina: she is so funny and also wise in like, a casual way. queen

the artisan geek: CUTE…. really smart…. really endearing!! she’s well read and well-spoken and i like her sm

haley kim: she’s just. crazy beautiful! also very good with makeup and v likeable

withwendy: her sewing/clothes tailoring videos are so impressive, she’s seriously so talented 

liah yoo: her presence is so sweet and her skincare advice genuinely changed my life

minnie small: i love her art vids!!

readwithcindy: SO FUNNY… love her book reviews!

anyway it’d be really cool if you guys added onto this list with your recs, too! ♡

I wanted to talk a little bit about the five over-excitabilities (OEs) that gifted people experience. Giftedness is about more than just intelligence: it affects how people feel, behave, and interact with the world.

This is a very simplified description of each over-excitability, so I encourage you to do some more research if this topic interests you. Also, please realize that while “gifted” is the most common term, “asynchronous development” has less stigma around it and is the more specific term.

[If you found this educational or helpful, please reblog this! It takes a long time to make these, so I would appreciate it.]

SHE DID NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spoilers for Crooked Kingdom

@lbardugo you'll probably never respond to this but DID YOU HAVE TO KILL OFF MATTHIAS?!

What if the guy in Nabi’s mom’s bedroom was Jae Eon himself???? Like how did he know it was her bd, which train station she was at, at that she should make up with her mom???