There Are Corners Of This Website Where The Year Is Still 2013. And Sometimes, On Beautiful Nights When

feeling unwanted ruins my whole fucking day

Being an adult in jiraiblr is so funny bcs I'm seeing these teens act jus like how I did and it's like "huh. That's why no one liked me - i was really annoying"

Jirai/Menhera/Girly songs for my mentally ill bitches part 1/2

YouTube

♡Music for the mentally ill♡

If you feel sad at least you have this playlist

Link^^^

I feel like I never see other jirai that are over 18. It's always 14-16 year old kids, and it's just... so awkward. I shouldn't be considered old yet, but even then whenever I'm in a space for something I like there are always so many children! and it makes me feel like a Total Creep!!! and all while I'm just here to see that other people struggle like me and love the same things as me!

it's kinda annoying being asked by everyone "what do you wanna do for a living?" like girl i don't even know if i wanna be living at all

gay ppl will talk to someone twice and then have a crush on them

daily affirmations

- I will own a house and decorate it just like I've been dreaming of for years

- I WILL OWN A HOUSE

- my house will have the cutest decor ever

- I will have the most peaceful house of all time

- house

GUESS WHAT? IT'S TIME FOR A WEIRD METAPHOR TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL!!!

The only way I can explain it is this:

I'm in a cage. I built it, I put myself here (perhaps through the coaxing of others, but I was the one to step in). I know it like the back of my hand. Like my own street. I was the one who locked myself in and only I have the key to leave. It's in my hand.

It was kinda nice at first. To sit alone and bathe in my own misery, watching people pass by and never come towards the door. But now I hate it.

"So?" You ask, "why don't you just unlock the door and leave? The option is there."

I can't.

I tremble towards the lock, sometimes I'll even unlock it. But the door stays closed. I will lock it again. And again. And again. And again. And then I'll scurry back to the corner of the cage like a frightened dog, tail in-between my legs.

And nobody cares if I came out. They don't visit. They don't acknowledge or ask why. They won't even spare a glance. I'll be the same person I always was. And the cage will still lie in wait for the next time. The only person who encourages me to leave is a woman who sees many cages, she even unlocked the door from her side and held it open for me. But I remain here.

If I go, I'll be in a world that I watched develop from my corner of my cage, but never really had a part in. Especially before. Especially now. Things I won't understand and people who won't want me. And I'll miss it.

So, I'll just stay here. Until I rot. Perhaps leaving the door open, but always never stepping out.