Okay but when Kayne freezes time to reveal John's deal with him Larson, the Butcher and Noel are just in the background watching.
Like, imagine you are the Butcher who has the bare minimum of context on all of this and suddenly you're frozen, and everyone else is frozen, and a guy just appears beside Arthur and starts monologuing.
Like here is what he just experiences frozen and unable to move:
KAYNE (loudly): So close!
KAYNE (innocently): John?
KAYNE: And? And!? (Unimpressed.) And what.
KAYNE: Stopped everything? Why, yes.
KAYNE: How!? (He walks as he talks.) How am I supposed to explain that to you? God, you sound just like your little host family here, questioning everything! Some things just happen, Marigold.
KAYNE: Deal? What deal?
KAYNE: Oh, I don’t recall a contract or written word, really.
KAYNE (dangerously): You’ll what?
KAYNE: Oh! You know what? I do remember! (Recollecting.) Oh, oh, oh. We did make a deal, didn’t we? First, you were sent back into the King. Right? (Theatrically.) Whole once again!
KAYNE: It was right after our little crumpet tried to shave his neck with the pointy end. Right? Then… hm. (He sucks air through his teeth.) Then what happened? You don’t remember, do you?
KAYNE: Yes! You were… well, you were cast out, weren’t you? The King just – well, couldn’t make you fit anymore, could he? (Vigorously.) Too much soul in there! A broken mirror in too many pieces to put together again. (He pretends to cry.)
KAYNE: Oh, of course! You were changed! A new… man? Entity? Thing? What are we calling you, exactly? (A short pause. Coyly.) Dandelions are yellow!
KAYNE: And so he cast you out! While in his realm, the King still had considerable power over you. Whatever you are. And sent you back to the one place you dared not ever return! (Cruelly.) Isn’t… that… right?
KAYNE (dramatically): The Dark World! It was scary there, wasn’t it?
KAYNE: I mean, scary doesn’t even begin to sell it, but Arty promised he’d never send you back there, didn’t he?
KAYNE (faux aghast): And yet, your little deal had you end up right where he promised you’d never be!? Oh, how infuriating that must’ve been! (He laughs maniacally.) Oh. You would’ve done anything to get out again. Wouldn’t you? But first! You had to sink a little lower. Didn’t you?
Time moves differently in the Dark World, doesn’t it? You didn’t just give up. You… You fell back on your old ways. The King who was trapped there before all of this… it was only when you were truly defeated that you called to me. (Abruptly.) Begged for me! The things you did for me to make this deal… (Shudderingly.) Ooh!
KAYNE: But you got out. How did it feel, lying to Arthur this whole time? Not being able to tell him why you were coming here and … where you came from.
KAYNE: Not true! (Insolently.) Matthew had a choice!
KAYNE: Absolutely! That little rapscallion let it slip, didn’t he? I told him to keep a tight, heavy lid… if Arthur knew that I wanted him here, he wouldn’t do it! But… could he keep that to himself? Hardly!
KAYNE (snidely): Well, because he made his choice.
KAYNE: His to make! And you made yours, my King. And you… (Pleased.) Mm! Fulfilled our deal. In a manner of speaking.
KAYNE: And? And you were released from the Dark World! (Dramatically.) Contract fulfilled! (A conjuring effect, the rustle of paper, and pencil scratching.) See?
KAYNE: So now… you and Arthur can leave! (Bad cockney accent.) England, was it? (Normally.) No more secrets between the two of you.
KAYNE: I mean… I said I stopped them from moving, Johnny, but his ears still work.
KAYNE: Am I wrong, Archie? (He snaps his fingers.)
ARTHUR (in horror): You…
Butcher: ...
nah anons right i wanna fuck most things that are ‘scary’
Taxonomy cancelled we are dividing all avatars into 'fuckable' and 'unfuckable'
The Magnus Archives is a horror podcast WRONG
The Magnus Archives is a RomCom WRONG
It's the world most elaborately made and longest anti smoking ad lmao
I’ve said it before but it bears repeating:
Once they're in a safe spot where they can properly look after themselves I think Arthur should be allowed to get fat and John should find his healthier body so fascinating and beautiful
He died doing what he loved. Being fatally injured.
they make me so insane
edit: conversation is from Part 45, "The Fire"
😈 You are not bound by the Hays code.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who are not punished by the narrative by the end of the story.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who win.
😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who make evil look fun and cool.
😈 You are allowed to make your fun, cool evil character the protagonist.
😈 You are allowed to glorify, romanticize and eroticize evil characters and villainous acts.
😈 You are not obligated to teach your audience a moral lesson.
today is video games’s birthday.
Actually I'm losing my mind over the implication of Lilith and Kayne's obsession with known daughter-killer Arthur Lester. Like. You imprint on this man like a baby bird because he let you out, made you you again. Gave birth to you. Turns out, he's also the favourite doll of your shitty dad. And also he killed his daughter. And now you're both tugging on his arms like a dog toy because you need him to end the world for you. This dynamic is demented i need to see more of it
A non-exhaustive list of things from TMA that I was 100% certain were just fandom jokes before I actually listened to the podcast:
- The homophobic vase.
- Jon being kidnapped and forcibly moisturized for a month.
- Jon being kidnapped three separate times in the span of a single season.
- The "I won't kill a man because you're jealous." "Why not?!" exchange between Jon and Martin.
- There are like seven or more characters all named some variant of Michael.
- Melanie calling Jon "The Ceaseless Watcher's special little boy".
- Jon asking Martin if he was a ghost.
- The "Statement of Joe Spooky" quote from Tim.
- The "Except for the vampires." "Yeah, obviously except for the vampires." exchange between Jon and Gerry.
- Mike Crew trapping a dude on a ladder forever.
- Jon asking Martin to gouge his eyes out and run away with him.
- Nikola Orsinov. Like, just in general.
- Elias being a pothead.
- Georgie being literally incapable of feeling fear.
- The bone apple teeth.
- The guy who married a bug.
I don’t post very often because I’m often busy with schoolI draw sometimes idk
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