There Is A Wasp Called The "beewolf" That Hunts Bees

she did the unthinkable to you and shes the only one who can fix it. wanting her is written in your very bones and its because she did the writing. she needs to do it again. youve spent years fighting to come to terms with what your life was going to be and the everythings changing so much and shes right there and you feel sick and you feel happy and shes sorry and shes telling you shes going to make it better now and youre starting to get a sense of deja vu

Thoughts on Pale arc one:

People seemed to like my posts about Pale, so here are my thoughts after finishing the first arc:

Oh my god, I did not know that this was a horror story. I thought this was urban fantasy + murder mystery and a lighter break from the author’s usual stuff. 1.z was one of the most tense things I’ve ever read. The devouring song was so wonderfully creepy and the ritual really felt unwinnable. Despite that I still expected Gabe to survive tho and the moment he threw up I was so shocked and had to stop reading for a bit.

That out of the way; I fucking love this story and I would be surprised, if this isn’t my favourite book, when I finish reading it. The characters, the dialogue, the worldbuilding, the magic and the pacing are all fucking amazing.

From the protagonists Verona is my favorite so far; she is so great: She is a weird loner who hates work and people (so relatable). Is she aromantic or just a depressed teenager with attachment issues? I don’t know and neither does she seemingly (very relatable). She doesn’t feel totally human and wants to leave all of her humanity behind (so very relatable (look I said it three times; it’s a curse now)).

Im binging arc two now.

👆🏻This is Zed

Zed seems like he’d be part of the shadow wizard money gang and loves casting spells.

two thinkers are better than one

Breakthrough, from a work in progress. The faces here are about . . . 60% painted? Stay tuned for full outfits. Eventually.

Also, I have unilaterally decided that Ashley has a wolfcut now.

Worm meme that’s just a picture of Citrine and the Number Man that’s captioned ‘me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic’

Shoutout to the maned wolf, which is technically neither wolf nor fox but has its own genus called Chrysocyon! Why -

why are your legs so long?

I mean, intellectually, I understand that it’s because you live in grasslands and have evolved to be able to see over the grass, but emotionally… why? Are they?? Like that??? Surely there was a way to make your body more cohesive and proportional-looking?

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell

Victoria is compelling and relatable because she's very judgy about other people's appearances, while being introduced wearing a dysphoria hoodie and a 9/11 memorial skirt.

9/11 MEMORIAL SKIRT

the more that i think about it, the more i feel like the undersiders are a really good litmus test for ability to understand/be sympathetic towards neurodivergency w/o reacting w/ hatred when it’s unpalatable. like, yes. they do in fact do a lot of violent and terrible things. but they’re from “trauma viscerally literalized as superpowers which are taken to extreme usages to better represent how devastating and emotionally total being traumatized feels” the book–it makes sense that every character is messy, it makes sense that every character does and thinks shit that extremely fucking sucks. trauma extremely fucking sucks! bitch literally tearing a man’s arm off because she’s been taught her entire life that people will always mock and hurt her for who she is and has learned to use aggression as pre-emptive defense feels significantly more relatable to what i was like when i was an autistic teenager than any quirky-funny representation of autism out there, and she’s not even explicitly autistic. 

like, yeah, taylor has a paranoid and irrational worldview. lisa is hypervigilant and secretive and manipulative. brian can barely function & still refuses to be vulnerable. aisha acts out and it being for attention doesn’t make the behavior any less grating. rachel is aggressive and stubborn and violent. alec doesn’t understand ethical or social boundaries. those are all things i’ve seen people complaining about, saying they hated those characters for it, saying that it was fucking irritating to read about. which is like…Yeah, That’s How Traumatized Teenagers Act! 

taylor had any ability to be “rational” about social interactions eroded from the years of irrational cruelty she faced. lisa micromanages her loved ones’ wellbeing because the last time she didn’t, her brother died. brian genuinely doesn’t know how to function at all if he’s not trying to be strong because it’s the only coping mechanism he’s been taught. aisha, chronically abused and neglected, is trying to assert autonomy & gain attention in the only way she knows how. rachel has learned that the only way she’ll be afforded any respect is if she takes it by force. alec says & does wildly inappropriate things because 13 years of grooming taught him it was normal. 

& yeah, all of those things suck to deal with, but that is in fact because trauma sucks to deal with. litmus test for ability to realize that and be reasonably generous about the fact instead of shitting on the involved teenagers for having a hard time being perfect people after experiencing things built to make them feel less than human.