Latest Posts by chowderknewfirst-blog - Page 4

something we agreed we like about uncle vernon is that despite like, personally suffering at the hands of wizards pretty significantly (dudley’s tail, marge), vernon is like, always ready to fuck with wizards? like he is SO SCARED of them but he’s always ready to fight? please take this moment to imagine uncle vernon meeting voldemort

You, Me, Every lifetime.

An episode I'd like to pitch to the Teen Wolf writers: Scott McCall's spa day. It's 44 minutes of Scott getting a massage at a luxurious spa while he listens to relaxing music, sips expensive bottled water, and nibbles on fresh strawberries. He's wrapped in a fluffy robe and reclining in a massage chair, spa candles flickering calmly in the dimly lit room. The masseuse has worked out all of the knots and kinks embedded deep in his muscles, and Scott feels like he's going to just melt into a happy puddle right there in his chair. Things get tense as curiosity strikes him and he attempts to eat one of the cucumbers from his face mask, but crisis is averted when his masseuse is like, "Please don't eat that. It's for your face. If you really want cucumbers, I'll see if the folks in back will chop some for you." Scott, blushing in embarrassment beneath his slightly tingly, exfoliating face mask, politely declines the offer. The episode ends with him thanking his masseuse after their session and leaving the spa feeling totally relaxed and renewed. He buys cucumbers on his way home. That's it. That's my pitch.

australia sucks but at least our politicians aren’t treated as celebrities and we can tell them to fuck off at the grocery store

Here’s the full 24 hour comic I drew yesterday, called “The Fish Wife”.  Thank you to everybody who followed along on twitter and cheered me on <3

one of my favorite phrases is ‘that’s a problem for future me’ because it combines two of my favorite things, mild humor and intense, panic inducing procrastination 

First friend

Soft nurseydex

omg nursey, dex’s trying to study

can u rec ur fav holsom fics? :) only if u want to!!!!!

he’ll ya i wanna,, fair warnin tho i didnt wanna omit any fics i liked so like?? my ULTRA FAV ones will all have the ice cream emoj after the title

ok so i’ve only been thru the 1st 15 of the 18 pages in the holsom relationship tag on ao3 so there is a giant possibility i’m missin a great fic here (n also if any1 has any recs???? hmu)

the only order these are in is the order i opened em up in my tabs in

these r all rated t or g, or they should b!!! if there’s 1 in there that’s not, pls lmk so i can edit the post n let ppl kno

also this is more hc than fic however. ultra fav

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harry: *falls in love with ginny weasley*

my gay mouth: relatable,

If you're not too terribly busy, the world could always use more Holsom fluff :)

Holsom fluff, my favorite! I combined this with a secondary request from @zombizombi for some ref!Holster, which I could not resist, because Holster+bitching speaks to my soul. Also, team dentist!Ransom, because it amused me. (Warning: mention of teeth.)

Ransom landed in his seat barelyfive minutes before the game was supposed to start. Lardo, feet propped upagainst the glass, sketchbook against her knees, fingertips just peeking out ofthe sleeves of yet another sweatshirt stolen from Shitty, spared him a glanceand a “You’re late” before going back to sketching warm-ups.

“I know, I know. Kid broke off twoof her teeth on the playground, right up to the nerve, so I had to do somecomposites.”

She grimaced. “Ugh.”

“Why do you ask me these thingswhen you know I’m going to talk to you about teeth? I’m a dentist, for fuck’ssake. And we’re here to watch hockey.”

“I’m in it for the butts.”

He grinned as he took in the playerstretching on the ice in front of her and then her sketchbook. “Think Shitswill like that one?”

“I call it ‘Spread,’” she saidloftily.

He choked and was suddenly glad hehadn’t had time to stop by concessions on his way in. “So, uh, where is Shitstonight anyway?”

She waved a hand vaguely, barelymissing whacking him in the face with the end of the sleeve. “Up in the office.They needed some documents looked over.”

He recognized that tone. “How longhave you guys been here?”

“Hours.”

“Couldn’t get anyone to strip foryou?”

“Shut up.” Then she turned to himand smiled slowly.

Ransom was immediately alarmed. “Ohgod. What?”

“There is some news you’ll want.”

“Yeah?” he asked cautiously.

“New ref.”

Ransom’s eyebrows went up. “And I’minterested in this… because why? I mean, is he supposed to be good or biased orsomething else?”

“Tall. He’s supposed to be verytall. You’ll see.”

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female awesome meme >> [1/20] females in a movie

nicole kidman as gillian owens

malira au for queermartins​:

When Kira’s parents follow through on their threat to move back to New York, newly dating Kira and Malia fear that the distance will mean the end of their relationship, but they’re still not going to give up on it.

u know i’ve expressed my love for fake married/fake dating many, many times but like. is anything better. is anything better on this earth. does any trope or genre truly care for us quite like this one. let us reflect on a few of the gifts that fake married/dating consistently gives us:

character a asks “hey, will you pretend to be my date for a week for [convoluted excuse that could easily be solved without a fake relationship]?” character b, fully convinced of the futility of their DEEP AND UNREQUITED LOVE, figures this’ll be a chance to spend time with them and possibly put their feelings to rest. character b is always wrong & it is always amazing.

having to SHARE A LIVING SPACE FOR ARBITRARY FIC REASONS. having to see eachother in their pajamas first thing in the morning, messy haired, drowsy eyed and soft faced. going from “you can have the bathroom first” to brushing their teeth beside eachother and feeling like this closeness has always existed (at the same time, painfully aware that it won’t always). 

related to the last one — “”practicing”” their casual touching so that it’s easier when they’re in public. feeling SWOOPS OF ARDOR AND AGONY when they feel the brush of a hand on their neck, or an arm loop around their waist. don’t you love how fake marrieds/dates are always method actors who must FULLY INHABIT their roles. i love it. i live for it. 

bed sharing. :^) we all pretend we’re bigger than this but we are not. 

“kiss me while everyone’s looking.”

the character who wasn’t aware they were in love (maybe always had been) until the fake relationship is in full swing, realizing they have to sort their feelings out before their time together is up. sometimes they succeed and angst is minimal. most of the time they don’t, really.

telling eachother “i love you” in public and meaning it, heart aching over it, but bELIEVING THE OTHER 2 BE ACTING. my soul is still 15, this garbage still gets me. u don’t get pining better than this.

the days leading up to the end of the arrangement where one of them, still confused and muddy about their Feelings and unsure how to break things off, stiffens to the casual, reflexive touching and puts their walls back up. the other one accepts and respects this as the end of their agreement and squashes back down all the hope they ever had, stuffs it next to the heartbreak they’re ignoring deep in their chest. 

when they realize they’re actually fully and enthusiastically mutual about the way they feel and it’s, like, two parts euphoria and one part agony because they just cannOT BELIEVE, the happiness tears them in two. maybe there are weepy or laughing kisses. i don’t know but i’m usually invested like 2000%. i love fake dating/marrieds. 

I LOVE EM.