Happy Out Of Touch Thursday, Whovians.

Astarion. The man that you are.

Look who's in my asks again

Look who showed up again - the Neo-Nazis in the guise of J*y of Satan. And, hey, they follow the gay pagan gods - as if that's some sort of pre-determined group.

So, here's the thing. If you get one of these asks, it comes directly from the J*y of Satan themselves. They aren't asking for your help in learning about the group. They are trying to get you to visit the site (notice they give the URL, not just the group name) and perhaps do some searching on the group (helps their google ranking. Long term, they want to recruit you.

They have no interest in your opinion on Satanism itself. They aren't Satanist. They are neo-nazis.

What they believe changes a bit depending on audience and popular current events. The asks will stress things they feel are important to you in order to begin the recruitment process.

Block them and delete the asks.

In this case, you don't have to "do your own research." They aren't nice people to read about.

the gang's all here,,,,,,

This is the most cannon shit I've ever read on this site

Some goblin Astarion things.

He pinches you when you toss and turn too much in your shared bed. “Wake up and stop flailing! Gods. I’ll have bruises from your pointy elbows in the morning.”

He sews “kick me” on the butt of Gale’s trousers in dark, dark gray after the Wizard pisses him off. Karlach sees it with her dark vision when they’re in the Underdark and promptly knees him in the ass.

He steals all of Halsin’s wooden ducks and plants them in Wyll’s tent, for shits and giggles.

He tries to line a tripwire across the front of Lae’zel’s tent entrance, but ends up pricking himself on a blow dart booby trap he failed to perceive. Incurs -3 hit points and the bleeding condition for 10 turns.

He nips your neck like a disgruntled cockatoo when you tease him in front of the other party members.

He puts swamp green clothing dye in Shadowheart’s bottle of hair dye when she’s not looking, causing her to endure some sickly green highlights for a fortnight.

He steals Wither’s staff while he’s speaking with Jaheria and hides it among Lae’zel’s armory. Gets hauled over by the ear by Jaheira to apologize to Withers. And Lae’zel.

He hides in the bushes near camp and makes god-awful wailing noises to keep Scratch and the owlbear cub barking while the party is trying to get some sleep.

He fabricates some ridiculous story about how the Weave is really a hoax designed by Big Magic to control the masses, just to see Gale go purple in the face while arguing against this “utter tripe.”

He loudly proclaims that he overheard Shadowheart telling Wyll she could beat Lae’zel in unarmed combat with a hand tied behind her back, then scampers away cackling when the two lady warriors start yelling at one another.

*Wyll/Astarion*

*Wyll/Astarion but it's about Astarion's trauma and Astarion's healing and Astarion's fairytale romance and Astarion being treated right and Wyll is barely acknowledged in the slightest despite being literally half of the pairing*