[There’s An Evil Clone Of John]

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

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dreams come true

my heart is with the rugged butches, who don’t care to try embodying a dapper persona, baggy t-shirts and Hanes sports bras, basketball shorts and overgrown buzz cuts

my heart is with the trashy femmes, who wear the faux fur leopard print coat they scored at the thrift 4 years ago every day that it’s even remotely cool enough to pull off, the passenger seat of their beat up car filled with empty Red Bull cans and empty packs of newports.

my heart is with the butches who aren’t tough as nails, butches who cry at every sad movie, who love romcoms, who are afraid of a fight. The butches who protect their femmes by building them an armor of love and safety, who stand up for their fellow butches by being a calm force in a raging world. Praise be to their softness, their golden hearts so warm.

my heart is with the angry femmes, tired of being stomped on by men’s expectations of who they should want to spend their time and share their body with , femmes who are tired of being infantilized because they are beautiful and often underestimated. Praise be to the surety in their voices when they tell a man to get the fuck out of their way.

Praise be to the dykes, shaved heads, carabiners, bandannas, leather jackets. Praise be to the dykes, winged eyeliner, bright red dresses, bouncing curls, high-heeled boots, purple lipstick, rings on every finger.

my heart belongs to the femmes and the butches.

God's away on business

(A diptych of Saw portrait studies vaguely in Disco Elysium style for no real reason other than I like drawing them in scratchy angular shapes.)

i got bored today, so this was the outcome!

gbg/misfits & bbs as vines/memes. enjoy!

Kill Bill AU! I had this idea at work and I refused to let myself sleep until I drew it out! Bakugou is the bride, Kirishima is Bill. 

What I LOVE about these movies is that with each kill, you can see how much Kiddo truly did once love these people. They were her friends and allies, and their betrayal hurts more than anything. Each time she kills one of them you can see the pain it causes her, followed by the relief and bitter sweet sadness. UMA THERMAN IS AN AMAZING ACTRESS OKAY! So obviously Bakusquad are the members of the Deadly Vipersquad, and they all loved each other at one point. The rest of the characters are explained below:

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I don’t know why people call Luigi the “lesser brother” he is a multimillionaire with multiple homes, who has been on just as many adventures as his “superior” brother Mario, and has on multiple occasions been called in to save, Mario It’s bullshit propaganda and I won’t stand for it anymore.