Let’s Get Hunted By Mama

i love when characters lie to themselves in the complete privacy of their own minds

when e.e. cummings said “i’ll live my life if it kills me”

getting murdered but i can’t even afford the name brand stuff so im getting snawed in half and scrabbed to death and shit

enei…

negative affirmations

I can be worse

I still have time to fuck things up

I can kms any time I want

Checkers

Rei and Dante - for @halfetirosie

(not explicit...... yet.)

"It's just a game," Rei sighs.

"I know that, you--!"

Dante stares at the board like a man coming to terms with a terminal illness. He stares like if he stares hard enough, the whole game will go up in flames, and he'll be spared from any further nonsense.

Rei's played a lot of games with a lot of people, but he's never seen someone take checkers this seriously - and he once played a master naval strategist. There's a vein on Dante's forehead that looks fit to burst as he reaches out and slides his piece forward.

The best part of this experience is that the more confidence Rei exudes, the more anxious the Sun Lord becomes. When propositioned, Dante admitted he'd never played before, but he was certain his skills as a warrior would translate.

He looks... less certain, now.

Rei didn't mean to get good at games like this. But when beating Kuya at cards became his favorite pastime, he learned fast.

When Dante places his fingertip on his piece and starts to move, Rei clears his throat and clicks his tongue. Dante freezes and slides the piece back.

"S-stop distracting me," Dante hisses.

Rei nods his head and hums. "Apologies, Sun Lord."

While chewing his bottom lip - does he know that it's so cutely pathetic? - Dante changes his mind and moves a different piece. He claims one of Rei's and leans back in his chair.

"Hah, got you." The Sun Lord folds his arms and smirks, smug. Poor baby.

Rei reaches out and jumps one of his three remaining pieces over all five of Dante's.

"I win. Wow, Sun Lord; I expected better."

"I-- you--!"

Dante stands up, fists clenched, rattling the table in the process.

"You tricked me into changing my move!" He's shouting, which is exactly what Rei hoped would happen. Rei swallows his smirk and crosses his legs, rolling his eyes.

"I didn't make you do anything," Rei supplies. "Respectable war lords take responsibility for their mistakes, don't they?"

"I--" Dante flounders for words and slows his breathing. He's positively pimple-red and nearly shaking with frustration.

"Deep breaths, Sun Lord," Rei heckles.

To Rei's delight, Dante drops back into his seat like a door slamming shut. He starts resetting the board with fumbling hands.

"Again," he insists.

"Of course." Rei could - and will - watch this all night.

do you think the knife is aroused by penetrating soft flesh or is it just kinda whatever about it

yeah hi, google, this is the FUNNIEST FUCKING AD I've ever seen

HAVE SOME EIDEN!!