Love Using Task Manager To Be Both My Private Investigator And My Executioner. Task Manager Dragging

Narrator + Tyler Durden Profiles

gifs by me, credit is appreciated !

Much: Nirvana at MusiquePlus (1991)

i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes

(This post will be kept pinned & periodically updated until 28 Nov)

Lmaoooo

Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like a year:

Link to post.

But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:

Link to post.

Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.

Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.

Link to post.

Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)

As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.

Link to post.

It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂

Link to post.

Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.

Link to post (tags mine).

Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3

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Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.

found by @thepotch

Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?

Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️

Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.

Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.

Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.

Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!

Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC

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I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.

Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)

Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)

Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)

Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)

Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday

As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.

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Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:

Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page

Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting

Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)

Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)

Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)

Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from

Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)

Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀

(alt text included)

End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3

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Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:

More trailers!

Trailer 1 (My favourite)

Trailer 2

Trailer 3

Trailer 4

I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.

It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off.

Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!

And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.

YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:

InformOverlord (4:30)

Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)

End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.

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🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual)

tw: unreality:

We did it you guys!

DEATH OF A BACHELOR ; F1 DILFS

the grid's most handsome and eligible bachelors— now taken? exactly this is that. i don't have time to think of a good punchline so it'll have to wait.

started: 03/01/24 ended: 03/23/24

amfg 8.6k words total. smau + written. contains angst, fluff, implied smut(?), crack(?), drama, controversy, and conspiracies. reader is faceless. can be read in any order. enjoy reading (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

ADORE YOU ; KR7

. . . your relationship with kimi was always civil, not too close like friends, but not too far apart like strangers. somehow you got stuck in a situation leaving both of you confronting your feelings for each other.

HAVEN'T MET YOU YET ; JB22

. . . slowing down as the high life of the party, jenson turns a new leaf and thinks optimistically about his plans in the future concerning his love life.

MISERY ; MW2

. . . fuck sebastian vettel and fuck his goddamn race engineer who he can't help but think about all the time. he's bitter, jealous and in misery.

GREEDY ; SV5

. . . at the height of his career all vettel wants is to win. with four world championships on his back, his ego- out of the world, surely that's enough for a room in your life.

VOODOO DOLL ; LH44

. . . hamilton is a penchant for opposing teammates, and after the previous one he somehow got stuck with another, but after years of dominance new emotions develop between the two.

NEW PERSPECTIVE ; FA14

. . . twenty years into his career, alonso faced a lot of changes. but it was all because of you, that he looked forward to at the end of everything.

amfg yay! to my first series ever finished... here's to more series and writing. i hope you enjoyed reading these as much as i wrote them 🫶

Of course, König listens to Rammstein. Everyone and their grandma listens to Rammstein.

Nay, König is an absolute metalhead ✨snob✨ and Rammstein is just the peak of the iceberg of his music taste and habits.

He has a jacket with all the patches with concerts he went to, hand-sown and bought at the venues he visited.

Sometimes he does corpse paint under his sniper hood.

As a teen he practiced how to growl in his room while listening to Cannibal Corpse until his parents asked him to at least keep this feral habit to a manageable volume.

This reserved giant goes absolutely berserk under the shower, singing along to Amon Amarth and Arch Enemy.

The first time he broke a bone was in a moshpit at a Bury Tomorrow concert while he was on leave. He is absolutely embarrassed about it.

His taste for the big titty goth girls and pals comes along with a taste for the goth genre.

Renaissance Fairs and medieval metal events are the best for he has an excuse to dress up with something including a hood to cover his face. He is not allowed to do the axe throwing thing at most venues at this point anymore because his throwing skills are legendary.

He sings along to every song of Feuerschwanz in the car and his pre-battle-hype-up-playlist is exclusively Parkway Drive.

Sometimes he planes jobs around concerts he would like to see.

And of course he has a collection of band shirts which his S/O is only allowed to share once they dated for a while.

Homecoming | König x m!reader

@satan-incarnate-666 asked: "I need to go outside and scream for about two hours"

all for könig x m!reader fics? 👀

summary: König comes home in a bad mood, but you're not about to let him stay like that.

tws: swearing, smoking

A pint glass of Red Bull sat on the bedside table as some shitty horror film played on the television, lighting up the room ever so slightly as you relaxed on the bed, waiting for König to come home; he had texted you to tell you when he was on his flight, and again when he was in the taxi home. He always did that; a text when he was in the car, a text before he got on the plane, a text when he was five minutes around the corner. You made sure that the front door was unlocked, that the light in the kitchen was on and everything was ready for him when he got home; König always asked you not to wait up for him if he returned late at night, he didn't want you to lose any sleep, but you always did. You always waited up for him, regardless of how long it took. You always waited, and König did, too; when you were on your way home from the RAF base, you would text him once when you first left, and again when you were just around the corner, always telling him not to wait up for you but knowing that he would anyway.

You paused the film when you heard the door open, waiting for it to close and lock before you finally made your way over, grinning when you saw König; slowly, he removed his mask as he tilted his head to the side and opened his arms. Within seconds, you had your arms around him, buried against his body as you sniffled and clung onto him; with as much tenderness as he could muster, König slowly returned the embrace. Holding you tightly as he bent down enough to press the side of his head against yours, groaning softly as he turned his head, kissing your cheek so gently; around you, he didn't need to wear the mask, and he most certainly did not need to worry about being mocked or teased - at least, not beyond the flirtatious kind, but that was the kind of teasing he liked, especially when it came from you. You pulled away from him, gently tracing his jaw with the tip of your index finger; he didn't look tired, but then again, he did usually sleep on the plane when he was coming home.

"You feeling okay?"

"I need to go outside and scream for about two hours," he admitted quietly, a frown on his face. "The American Kapitän was... mean."

Your jaw clenched as you stared up at him, furrowing your brows. "Were they, now?"

König nodded, hunching over slightly as he frowned. "Sehr."

You gritted your teeth, shoving your hands into the pockets of your hoodie - which used to be his - so that you could clench your fists without him seeing; König never liked it when you got angry, always having to grab you by the back of your shirt to stop you from getting into fights, he didn't like the thought of someone upsetting you. "Did you get their name?"

König shook his head. "Bitte... don't go getting into a fight for me."

You unclenched your jaw, and put on a false smile as you cleared your throat and shook your head. "I won't, baby, don't worry... go roll yourself a cigarette, I'll be right back."

He took off after kissing your forehead, knowing exactly where everything was and helping himself; but while he was out in the kitchen, you pulled your phone out, and opened the group chat that you had with your squadron. Quickly, you texted them, demanding to know the name and address of the American Captain who had upset your boyfriend, and immediately, Perveen texted back saying he would find it for you - Bashar agreed, and even offered to come up with an alibi for you if you needed one, as well as telling you where Perveen kept his grandfather's kirpan, should you need it. Perveen offered to clean it and sharpen it, if you wanted to. But after thanking them and letting them know that you would, indeed, be borrowing the blade, you headed out to see König in the kitchen.

He was sat at the table as he smoked, the glass ashtray he had bought for you was beside him, and when he saw you, he spread his legs and leaned back a little, letting you sit on his lap as he laid his arm around you lazily; if there was anything he was thankful for in that moment, it was having his boyfriend sitting on his lap while he smoked, the peace and quiet and sheer domestic nature of it almost overwhelming. He felt safe, he felt content. Merely existing with one another as you pressed your face against the side of his neck and hummed so gently, sending a shiver down his spine.

"I no longer want to scream."

"No?" You dared to press a kiss to the soft skin of his neck as you dared to smile.

König nodded, leaning into the touch as he sighed. "Nein... I have you here... I'm happy."

That's all you needed to hear, enough to make your temper pause for a moment as you leaned into him and yawned quietly, letting him dip his hand under your hoodie so that he could feel the warmth of your stomach against his hand; just to feel your skin, to be exposed to your warmth, it was the most calming thing in the world for König. A reminder that you were there, you wouldn't leave, you would always stand up for him and fight his corner. He smiled a little, finishing the cigarette and putting it out.

"Es tut mir leid," he mumbled. "Did you want one, Bärchen?"

"In a bit," you reached one hand up his shirt, letting it rest on his chest as you sighed. He was always so warm, always so comforting to the touch. "I've got Freddy Vs Jason on, by the way... I know it's a fucking shit film, but we could always grab some snacks, snuggle up and watch it."

"I'd like that," König nodded, letting you lead the way to the bedroom after getting the snacks, especially his favourites. He stood a little straighter now, although he did have to duck to get through the doorframe, not wanting to hit his head on it again, even though he knew that he had you to kiss it better.

You waited for him to get in the bed first so that you could put everything down on the bedside table, letting him press his back against the pillows before you dared to snuggle up to his side, pulling the blankets up to your shoulders and lazily throwing your leg across him, resting one hand on his stomach, under his shirt so that you could feel his warm body; he put his arm around you, sneaking his hand under the hoodie so that he could feel you against him that little bit more. You grabbed the television remote, and pressed play; once again, the dull light from the screen partially lit up the room.

"I'll sort your stuff out in the morning," you told him. "I'll chuck everything in the wash."

"I can do it," König said softly, but you shook your head.

"No, you won't, tomorrow your only job is to sit back and relax - you've been away for long enough, you just worry about taking some time off."

"As you say, Bärchen," he mumbled, wriggling around a little bit more so that he could really get comfortable.

"I'm not saying," you playfully corrected. "I'm ordering."

"Es tut mir leid," he laughed quietly. "Kapitän... mein Kapitän."

if you liked this fic, REBLOG IT - you SHOULD reblog it; spam likers WILL be blocked. as will blogs that refuse to reblog or to give feedback. if you don't wanna reblog, then you'll get blocked; reblogging is the BARE MINIMUM. don't just "like", REBLOG

"All yours," you murmured, kissing his neck. "Always."

You weren't about to tell him that your squadron had found the name and address of the American capitan, though, you knew that he didn't want you to get into trouble for him but you couldn't help it; as his boyfriend, it was your job to make sure that he was safe and sound and that some stupid bastard wasn't bullying him. It was your job to protect him, and you would do anything to make sure that nobody would mess with him.

Compilation of Pyro sitting like That™

(Bonus for this one because even though it's slightly different it's still fucking adorable)