I Think A MDZS Psych AU Would Be Hilarious. WWX's This Super Observant Genius Who Remembers Everything

Transferring... drunkji..

the sounds of flute in the night

Cloud Recesses Arc but modern and less depressing:

LWJ: that BRAT has been harassing me all month!

LQR: Wei Wuxian is just like his mother- he needs attention or he'll whither away and die.

LWJ: Good. Let him whither.

LQR: Bu-ut if you give him attention, he won't know what to do with it. He will panic and his face will turn interesting colors.

LWJ: .... I see.

(The next day)

WWX: Lan Zha-a-a-an, how is the most beautiful person in Cloud Recesses?

LWJ: I don't know, how are you?

WWX: *blue screen and elevator music* Buh-hue guh sjdklgisoskkjdnfnf

(Lan Qiren and Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze are all sitting in the background watching the show)

Wei Changze: I got you the same way.

Cangse Sanren: Yes, but you did it to flatter me. Wangji did it out of spite. I hope he enjoys the next five minutes of quiet, because it only gets worse from here.

(All the adults sip their tea for the next five minutes. It is a beautiful day in Cloud Recesses, and Wei Wuxian is a terrible guest disciple.)

Superstar Luo Binghe au. All the directors beg him to be in their movies because his fame will immediately assure success for anything they make. He’s handsome, charming, dedicated, and most of all, extremely talented. He even does his own stunts!! Women love him, and men who say they hate him will still watch his movies so they can figure out how to be more like him. 

The only weird thing about Binghe as an actor is that he refuses to star in romantic films. He won’t kiss anyone, won’t pretend to date someone on screen, won’t even let another actor take over his role for the scenes he doesn’t want to do. His reason? He’s completely loyal to his husband.

Everyone thinks it’s stupid, obviously. You aren’t “cheating” by pretending to love someone else, it’s literally your job! Luo Binghe still refuses and says even he’s not good enough an actor to make anyone believe he could ever love someone other than Yuan-ge.

His fans hate this mysterious Yuan-ge. Because of his (probably insecure and jealous) spouse, all of Binghe’s fangirls cant see him sweep some y/n character off their feet. It’s even worse because they don’t know anything about this guy. Whenever someone asks to see or learn about Binghe’s husband, the star says he’ll never reveal Yuan-ge to the public, because he’s too beautiful and he doesn’t want everyone falling in love with him. 

People kind of run with the idea that obviously this guy must be a total weirdo who Binghe is embarrassed to be seen with. That has to be the explanation, because no matter how perfect someone is, how can they have such a chokehold on THE LUO BINGHE??

Then, one day, years after Luo Binghe’s initial rise to fame…. He goes on a talkshow. With his husband Shen Yuan. 

Obviously EVERYONE tunes in. No one uses TVs anymore bc of the internet, but just for this show, viewer ratings are the highest theyve ever been. Everyone wants to know what the fuss is all about with this guy to have Luo Binghe so down horrible. 

And Shen Yuan isn’t a weirdo. He’s also not some pretty yesman. He makes jokes that make the audience burst into laughter. He’s opinionated, which is really refreshing when every other celebrity stays neutral on every topic to avoid losing fans. He’s polite, but he’s not a pushover. He’s likeable, but he’s not a try-hard about it. Referencing memes makes him an instant hit with the younger generations, and the calm gentle way he talks makes him a hit with the older ones. All of a sudden everyone is going, okay we see why Luo Binghe is obsessed with him. 

Except… while shen yuan was making jokes and charming everyone, Luo Binghe was at his side, pathetically pawing at his husband for attention. The actor keeps whining every two minutes to be reassured yuan-ge still likes him. Whenever Shen Yuan compliments the host, Binghe looks like he’s about to cry. Whenever Luo Binghe jealously wraps his arms around shen Yuan everyone watching just rolls their eyes. Seeing them together people realize… shen yuan is the one that’s out of Luo Binghe’s league.

In just one hour public opinion goes from ‘no one can be worth binghe acting like that for’ to ‘luo binghe is so annoying, let shen yuan talk!!’ 

The next day someone finds shen yuan’s twitter and it blows up. He has his own fan pages now. There’s no pictures of him online other than the footage from the talkshow, so the fan accounts just post that over and over again. Shen yuan retweets a post about him with the caption “i never realized she was holding a plate of corn in this scene” and everyone loses their mind. Everything he says immediately goes viral bc that’s luo binghe’s attic wife.

People start nagging Binghe to post about Shen Yuan bc theyre so attached after his one and only publicized appearance. Binghe is super possessive, but yuan-ge tells him not to worry, so he relents and posts pictures of him and shen yuan on vacation. They’re together, holding hands… but shen yuan’s face and body are blurred out. It’s HORRIFYING. He looks like an eldritch monster bc luo binghe refuses to let anyone look at his yuan-ge in a swim suit, go away you perverts!! His instragram is now just full of pics of shen yuan where his eyes are blacked out so noone else can see how pretty they are. It’s nightmare fuel

Shen Yuan is unfortunately too unbothered to post pictures of himself. Everyone’s tired of Luo Binghe for “hogging shen yuan all to himself” when Shen Yuan is practically an internet celebrity now. 

People go to watch movies and their theatre conversations sound like this:

“Oh, Luo Binghe’s in this one!”

“Who?”

“You know Shen Yuan’s annoying husband?”

“OH THAT GUY..”

hc that lan wangji wrote a shit ton of poetry. from when he met wei wuxian, he was constantly writing poems about him. after he died, the poems turned from passionate and hopeful to mourning, just as lwj did. after wwx returned, there wasn't really much time to write, what with them running around the jianghu mystery-solving, but once everything has settled down and they're living together, wwx finds the poetry hidden in the jingshi. there are hundreds of pages, enough to fill dozens of books, and the vast majority of them are very clearly about wwx. before this, there was a part of wwx that still thought this was temporary, that lwj would get tired of him and he would be thrown out. but reading the poems lwj had written over the years destroyed that doubt. wwx saw so much of what lwj's life had been like, while wwx was dead; some of the pages were spotted with tears, even blood. many were smudged, or had been crumpled and smoothed out. by the time lwj returns to the jingshi after his duties, wwx is lying on the floor, tear tracks staining his face, surrounded by the contents of lwj's heart.

complicated feelings on jiang fengmian aside, i think the reason i don’t buy into the whole “jfm favoured wei wuxian much more than his son” and tend to agree with wwx’s words to jc that of course jfm would be more stern with jc because jc’s his son is because—my asian parenting experience has been somewhat the same (and i actually think this might be a bit of a universal experience regardless), not in the exact way mxtx portrays this relationship but in that my parents and parents of every single person i have ever known (mostly; there are always a few exceptions) show this pattern of being sweet and cordial and generally non-disciplinary towards kids who aren’t their own and being way stricter and more stern with their own children because they are the ones they are parenting. there’s almost this mutually known boundary that you don’t go and yell at another’s kid to correct bad behaviour, rather the impetus of imparting important values and lessons is reserved as your right for your own kids. that’s how i’ve always read jiang fengmian’s dynamic with wei wuxian vs jiang cheng. he was stern with jc because that’s his son and heir, someone he cares for very deeply. on the other hand, he does care for wei wuxian as well but he has never crossed that mental boundary from uncle to father figure in his head and his interactions with wei wuxian have never read as paternal or favourably partial over jc to me.

Poster done for Lwj birthday flower event in S Korea. A bit early, but happy birthday HGJ! 🩵

This is so accurate for no reason!

now that i've finished tgcf i can make memes about all three books! i was tempted to put binghe at the absolute center because he could easily go into any quadrant at different points in his life, and both lwj and hua cheng could swing jock, but i think the most important thing is that wei wuxian is all four at once. somehow.

mock film poster featuring foxxian, dragonji, and baby a-yuan! this was so fun

Since MXTX said HuaLian live until the modern times, have some random headcanons:

Hua Cheng keeps being an interior decorating king so of course his and Xie Lian's home is tastefully decorated for every season and holiday. However, that doesn't stop Xie Lian from occasionally adding the fugliest item ever because he got emotionally attached to it in the store. "It was all by itself, San Lang, nobody wanted it... i know what that feels like better than anyone..." and now they're both sniffling holding an ugly styrofoam pumpkin in the middle of the fall decor isle of Ikea.

The stray animals food budget is off the charts but it's nobody's fault all strays are immediately drawn to Xie Lian and he has to feed them cause he "knows what it's like to be hungry". This does not just include cats and dogs but also rats, raccoons, several bird species and at least one coyote.

Speaking of budgets, the financial control authorities are lowkey on Hua Cheng's case because he is still stinking rich but nobody knows where the cash is coming from. They think Ghost City is the name of some shady mafia establishment and are trying to find dirt on Hua Cheng but there is literally nothing there and it eats the government alive.

Xie Lian occasionally dumpster dives in places where he knows they throw perfectly salvageable things. Hua Cheng cries every time it happens but he stands watch so the police doesn't arrest his husband for it.

In the same vein, Xie Lian insists on recycling literally everything. They have those different colored trash bins and everything, and every time Hua Cheng places an item in the wrong bin, Xie Lian gives him a disapproving look that has the ghost king crumble.

They have so many house plants. It's like a little jungle in their living room but the air is so crisp.

They keep several scrapbooks of paintings, pictures, letters etc from all the people they met to remember them even hundreds or thousands of years after those people have passed away. Even if they now have access to phones and other media for storage, they keep up the tradition of using scrapbooks and notebooks anyway.

Xie Lian is actually up to date with memes and internet slang but has embraced being a cringe Facebook grandpa and is now committed to the persona. Hua Cheng finds this hilarious (he runs a very well maintained beauty channel and a side channel on swords where Xie Lian features in every video and geeks out about their sword collection. They have a golden button and a very large following).

Hua Cheng has a 25 step skincare routine and only uses the fanciest brands of products for literally everything. Xie Lian still swears by 8 in 1 shampoo and somehow has clearer skin. Hua Cheng is both enamored and scandalized about it.

Hua Cheng is a very big fan of acryllics and lets Xie Lian pick the base color every time. Xie Lian takes this task very, very seriously and tries to coordinate it with any activities/events they have planned so Hua Cheng stays being stylish.

Hua Cheng has a portable Dyson Airwrap with him at all times because one time a kid said his hair looks like a wet dog.

Xie Lian is not allowed to get a job because every time he tried to along the decades he became a cautionary tale somehow.