March 4, 1926 Journals of Anais Nin 1923-1927 [volume 3]
front yard
I wish I liked myself
It’s actually devastating that I feel comfortable in anyone’s house but my own
why were you put in a psych ward
I was creative and ahead of my time
hi tumblr how we doing
I’ve lost so much of my fervor for life in such a short amount of time, and I was already grasping at straws for hope.
I find myself feeling so devastatingly numb and defeated, and if I don’t feel anything, I feel everything that’s wrong with me. Something happened these past few weeks, something set off something inside of me, but I have no idea what could have caused this.
I still love those around me, I will to the grave, however I am so exhausted. I’m trying so hard, and I’ve completely given up at the same time.
I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know
What I’d give to feel anything but this
I’m waiting for a savior that will never come
I wish Jesus was real so badly
I live for passion bro
Genuinely I love the art of passion with my whole heart. To love, or be so devoted to something that is makes your whole body light up with the spur of the soul, is so intimate and so, so beautiful.
For a long time I thought passion lied in romantic relationships, but as I grow older I realize that it is so much bigger than that. Romance is not even in the forefront of my passion. However, I do love passionately. I love my friends, I love my family, I love the arts, and I love them so, so intensely. My drive for life is simply my passion for connection, and learning more about myself and the world around me.
I love everything I think. And I am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to do so.
Värmland, Sweden (December 22, 2023).
noah jupe as otis lort in honey boy (2019) dir. alma har’el